2:44 am
by deathskeith
Summary: He was a simple evidence clerk with insomnia issues, that was it. His life spilled over into dreams and a deadly case. When the killer sets his sight, it's up to two detectives to step in and possibly fall in love. HakkaiXGojyoXSanzo threesome fic.
1. Awaken

**Chapter 1: Awaken**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki or the characters.**

**I wanted to step away from SasuNaru for a bit. I've been watching allot of Saiyuki lately and have played a very interesting game called Heavy Rain for PS3. I stayed up all night and beat it in only 10 hours. I got the good ending thank god. Anyway, this fic is VERY loosely based off the game and some of its details. Allot of it is my own so there is no copy right or something like that . . . Anyway, I hope you like it.**

**R&R PLZ!**

**Chapter one: 2:44 a.m.**

* * *

_His head and his arm ached as he stared out across the ocean of cement and metal. People screamed from either surprise or fright, gathering in crowds around him. Footsteps pounded the pavement as he clutched the weight held against his chest. Something was moist . . . Wet and coating his arms and legs. He glanced down and at first had no idea what he was holding. He held a human body but it seemed . . . Misshapen and torn. It took him a few moments to recognize the shape of a small child. A boy no older than ten or eleven. He had a hard time recognizing the face, lost in a blur of disfiguration and blood. It took him even longer to know he had been holding the child as his blood seeped into his clothing._

_Why was he holding him? Why was he bleeding? _

_The sense of fear or sorrow didn't even register to his mind. He sat like that as the people around him continued to yell. He barely heard crying somewhere until he realized it was coming from his own mouth. Another person was crying too, screaming as she reached toward him in a mass of limbs and tears. He could only copy her sadness as her eyes burned and died. He looked back down at the small being and finally felt overwhelming sadness._

He woke up.

His eyes seemed to pop open as a thunder crash resonated from outside. His eyes scanned the room as nothing but the sound of his breathing filled the room. He sat up carefully from his lying position on the large leather couch. The cable had gone out and he saw nothing but static hissing back at him. He reached out and grabbed the remote, turning off the sound. The rest of his studio apartment was cloaked in a slight darkness, coated only in the lights from the streets. Rain pounded his large scenic windows as the noise of the city inhabited the outside. He blinked and rubbed his head, noticing he was still wearing his glasses. He ran piano fingers through dark chocolate hair as his green eyes adjusted to the dimness of the room.

Cho Hakkai Gonou sat up and winced as his neck cracked. He looked at the clock above the microwave on his far wall and sighed.

_2:44 a.m._

He rubbed his neck as the numbers slowly switched to the next minute. He felt wide awake but tinged with extreme fatigue. He stood on shaky legs, his work pants still clothing his lanky form. He walked sock footed over to the windows and stared down at the city and the minuscule number of cars. Some bar goers were heading home and tucking themselves into their jackets against the rain and wind. It fell heavily, making the city seem dark and eerie. Hakkai backed up and gently put his forehead on the window, letting the cold seep into his hot skin. His mind wandered back to his dream and he clenched his eyes shut. Things like this had been happening to him for quite a while lately. He backed up from the windows and walked across his carpeted floor. Approaching his bathroom on the other side of the studio he entered it, leaving the door open. It was a large room with a walled shower and clawed tub on the other side. He passed the sink and checked his face in the mirror. He sighed as he pulled his wife beater over his head and let his pants drop to the floor. He entered his wall shower and turned on the water. He jumped as the coldness hit his face and relaxed a moment later when it turned to warmth. Closing his eyes he watched the steam rise and collect around him.

And now . . . He would be up for the rest of the night.

* * *

The next day found Hakkai sitting with his therapist in her small cozy office. Rain pounded her skylight window as she greeted him and brewed her coffee. He never considered himself very sociable but even loners needed someone to talk to. He dragged himself from his quite apartment and made a call to his usual person. She was a nice woman, very educated and that was half the reason he liked to talk to her. She asked more of the meaning of things much more than how he felt about them. Hakkai had realized how he has frustrated his last shrink by feeling nothing most of the time and simply wanting an explanation more so than an emotional stand point.

He took the coffee that was offered and sat on the comfortable lounge chair. He watched her walk to her seat and grabs a notepad. She sat elegantly which gave off a sense of professionalism.

"I'm sorry you came in the rain, I could have talked with you over the phone," she smiled. Hakkai looked up from his coffee into her auburn eyes. He smiled despite himself and motioned to the window.

"Its all right, rain never really bothered me," he answered. It was the taxi ride that always made him anxious, fast-moving vehicles made him nervous.

"So I take it, you were up again all night? Another bad dream?" she asked lightly, still looking at the window. That was another thing he liked about her, she never made too much eye contact. He grew nervous with people staring at him for long periods of time.

"Yes, this time though it was rather violent more so than strange," he said. She nodded and crossed her legs over her tan slacks. Hakkai couldn't help but notice how her color scheme always matched her eyes.

"Do you think it's the dreams that cause you to lack sleep or environmental?" she asked, scratching her pen across her pad. Hakkai thought that over.

"I'm not sure; it feels more like I was never meant to have sleep. I suppose . . . Sleep just never needed me," he answered. He hoped he didn't sound too poetic. She hummed and tilted her head turning toward him.

"How long have you been sleep deprived?" she asked softly.

"Years possibly, but I never had dreams to accompany them. Half of it was just natural lacking," he said, sipping his coffee. Even now he could feel the pull of tiredness. He was awake but at the same time felt like he was dragging a large weight around that was attached to his eyelids.

"Since childhood?" she questioned.

"Well . . . It was minor but it got worse since my sister passed. It could be out of habit. I constantly stayed awake all night for her when she was hospitalized. My last doctor commented that it could be part of some trauma or I can't unfix myself from a routine," he explained. She scribbled something down and tapped her pen against the pad.

"Out of the seven-day average week, how many are successful for a full night? Relatively at least eight or six hours?" she asked. Hakkai set down his coffee and got comfortable. He stretched across the lounge couch and stared at her nice cream-colored ceiling.

"I get maybe one or two nights of full sleep. Those are the night though that I don't dream . . . I have a sleep aid but it doesn't help. I've tried changing my routine several ways. I go jogging or change eating habits, stay up later or get up earlier. Hot showers to my treadmill, typing for long hours, pacing, changing the temperature in my apartment, music or nature sound albums . . . Nothing helps," he answered softly. It was quite for a moment, nothing but the sound of her writing on her pad.

"Lets talk about the dreams, you said they weren't usually so violent?" she said, uncrossing her legs and scratching her chin. Hakkai closed his eyes and listened to the rain.

"I think someone was dying in my arms. It was a child . . . A boy no older than ten or so. I was sitting on the pavement and held him as he bled to death. People all around me were screaming, especially a woman, I think it was the boy's mother. I didn't feel and sorrow until before the instant I woke up. I don't know how it all came to be . . . But I feel like I tried to do something for him and failed. Usually the dreams I have are large cases of de ja vue and I often see them through my regular day. Whether something is, someone says or numbers I hear or read. On occasion it's a conversation or action I do," he whispered. The therapist made another throat noise and set down her pad on her side table. She leaned back laced her fingers together as she closed her eyes.

"Forgive me for asking and feel free to avoid the question but . . . Tell me how your sex life has been?" she asked. Hakkai knotted his brows but felt a bubble of surprise enter him. He opened his eyes and actually sat up on the couch. He hadn't thought about sex in so long he completely eliminated it from his life.

"Not since . . . There was one girl before my sister passed, a girlfriend. We were only intimate once but that was eight years ago. We broke up because her father didn't like me, said I was creepy. That was when I lost my virginity though so . . . I'm afraid sex in my life has been set on the back burner," he answered honestly. He looked up to see his therapist smiling at him.

"One change you haven't made is intimacy. Sex is a release for both mental and unknown stress we are or are not aware of. I believe this change may open you up to both relationships and work off any extra energy you might have. I'm not asking you to be reckless but, a possible occasion of intimacy may change your mind set and help you relax," she offered.

Hakkai thought it over but felt a lump of apprehension settle in his gut. It was a change, but one he would have to consider. He didn't see himself as very sexually active and he had never responded to touch or the innuendo's people flew at him as he passed local strip clubs. He settled back down against the lounge and looked at her.

"I'll . . . Think about it. Thank you for your time," he said. She smiled and unlaced her fingers.

"You're welcome, see you next time and stay dry," she said kindly.

* * *

The next few hours for him flew as he returned home and got ready for work. He wore his heavy rain jacket and read the paper as he stood on the subway. People around him coughed and sneezed as he covered his mouth and squeezed passed them to exit the train. He entered the street and took a right past the hot dog stand. He walked up the large stone steps of the busy building and flashed his I.D. card to the person behind the employees' desk farther into the building.

"Hey, morning Kai'," the guard smiled, letting him through the gate. Hakkai smiled at him and nodded his head.

"Good morning Jeremy," he said kindly.

Jeremy continued to smile at him as he passed and walked down another hallway. People passed him in flurries and groups as he hugged the wall to let them pass. People called to each other from room to room as papers were handed and phones range. He wondered briefly what was going on but concentrated on his own task. He went to the mail room as part of his routine and went to the large crate in the corner labeled for the file room. He picked up the box and frowned at the weight of it. He opened it and sighed as stacks of messy coffee stained reports awaited to be filed. Hakkai worked as a filing clerk in the local down town precincts. It was his job to fetch, file or report evidence or needed case work. He picked up the box and almost ran into someone coming into the mail room.

"Oh, sorry Hakkai, I'm in a bit of a hurry this morning," Jien smiled, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. Hakkai blinked at the larger man as he noticed Jien's tie was almost undone and there was a cigarette burn near his collar. Hakkai caught his box and smiled at the dark-haired male.

"It's quite all right, it seems everyone is in a bit of a rush as well," he said. Jien noticed the box he had and frowned at how Hakkai was trying to lug it around.

"Here let me carry that, it looks heavy," he said, taking it from him. Hakkai sighed and rubbed his sore arms.

"Thank you, I hate to bother you but would you mind just following me to the basement with it?" he asked. Jien smiled and gave him a small wink.

"Of course, let these strong-arms take you anywhere you want to go," he smiled. Hakkai held back a bubble of laughter and just rolled his eyes. Unconsciously though he felt his face heat up.

"Very well," he replied, walking out of the mail room. They held a light conversation as they walked toward the basement door. A woman suddenly ran up to them and addressed Jien, her blouse wrinkled and her hair coming out of its ponytail.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but I need Jien back. The chief is on her way and we still need to make out reports," Jien's partner, Yaone replied. Hakkai took his box back and looked toward Jien.

"It's all right, thank you for this much," he said. Jien smiled in apology.

"No prob, sorry to run but I gotta go," he said.

Hakkai watched as the two went down the hall and disappeared into some offices. Hakkai took his box and walked to the basement door, unlocking it and going down the narrow stairs. His job was small and in tight spaces but it was important none the less. He was good at it and often remembered every bit of paper work he had ever filed. He walked down the stairs and walked up to his desk at the end. The place had concrete floors and shelves upon shelves of books and evidence bagged and collecting dust. He set the box on his desk and removed his coat, setting it on the hooks near the bathroom. He heard a sudden knocking on his security door and turned. He smiled at the other and hit the button on his desk near his phone. Commissioner Kougaiji smiled at him as he walked through the door. It had been a few days since Hakkai had seen his childhood friend. His long red hair was still the same along with his sharp gaze and lightly browned skin. He wore a long black trench that swept his ankles as he walked. His grey suit was slightly damp around the shoulders as his shoes made slightly wet foot prints on the floor. Hakkai gave a small inward chuckle when he saw Kou loosen his tie almost down to his mid chest and leaving it that way.

"Sorry it's been so long, I had a case in the next county," he said, walking up and leaning against Hakkai's desk. The brown haired male smiled and shook his head.

"It's all right; it's only been a few days. You know . . . You don't have to take so much time to see me," he said back.

"Visiting you enables me for some form of intelligent conversation. If I stay in a room with another detective for one minute longer I might do something I regret," Kou's deep voice mumbled out. Hakkai laughed and opened his large box of files. The brown haired male reached up and rubbed his sore sleep deprived eyes. He felt a gaze on him and saw Kou's narrowed eyes inspecting him. The other came forward and invaded his personal space. Hakkai was used to the behavior and didn't move or flinch as Kou ran his thumb under the semi noticeable bags under his eyes. Hakkai closed his eyes as he felt Kou press the skin and cup his chin gently.

"The dreams again?" Kou asked in a slightly concerned voice. Hakkai stepped back and continued to empty his box.

"Yes, but it was the first one in a while so it's all right. I saw my therapist and decided to think some things over. I'll be fine in a couple of days," he said right away. Kou's concern was appreciated as much as it was aggravating. Kou made a sound but crossed his arms.

"You should stay with me and my sister again in India. She likes it when you visit and you always seem to sleep well up there," he offered. Hakkai mulled the offer over; sleeping up there was very nice.

"Maybe this summer, let your sister finish her semester first," Hakkai smiled.

"Seriously Kai, I'm starting to get really nervous, you're so pale," he commented. Hakkai smile became a little strained. It was true that extreme lack of sleep had been known to cause death or permanent health problems.

"It'll be all right, I'm making a few changes for myself, if they don't work I'll go straight back to my doctor. I promise all right? So please don't worry about it," he answered. Kou seemed a little satisfied as he took a step back from the desk. He fixed his tie back up to his neck and ran fingers through his long and semi wet hair.

"I have to get back but let's grab lunch," he said, gaze completely serious and business like. Hakkai smiled lightly and knew grabbing lunch meant he had to be there. Kou wasn't one for offers so much as he expected the person invited to show. It was also his small way of knowing that Hakkai was at least eating once and a while around him. Hakkai had seen the small gestures of concern from lunch invites to offering him dishes of food someone else had given him but claimed he didn't like.

Hakkai nodded at his long time friend.

"All right, but something light," he said in confirmation. Kou smiled his rough smile and waved as he turned toward the security door.

"See you at two," he said.

* * *

**TBC**


	2. The Meeting

**Chapter 2: The Meeting**

* * *

Hakkai had filed away the material and now sat at his desk going over paperwork. He typed at his computer, the sole sound in the room besides the sound of thunder which he could lightly hear outside. He looked toward the tiny slotted window that was his solitary indication to the outside. He frowned when he suddenly stopped typing, and his lip twitched. His eyes searched the room in a small moment of confusion. He suddenly felt strange and then sighed. He knew what this feeling was; it was something he often felt before he had a de ja vu. He felt the moment pass but jumped when large claps of thunder sounded outside. His lights flickered as the familiar scene engulfed him. He sat for a few moments, waiting for the lights to return to normal.

A sudden knock on his door jolted him, and he looked to it, feeling his irises adjust to the dim lighting. Two men in trench coats stood there, one scowling and the other giving a smirk more so than a smile. The smirking one held up his badge and Hakkai hit the button on his desk. Both men sauntered in, a cigarette dangling from the taller one's mouth. Hakkai's nose scrunched up when he watched the man suck on the cancer stick and let out a cloud of smoke into the room.

"Forgive me, but there is no smoking allowed in this room," Hakkai said before anything else, narrowing his gaze at the flaming little stick.

"After all we do keep paperwork in here," Hakkai noted, referring to the no-smoking sign hanging above his head on the wall.

The other, stopped and grunted, removing the cigarette from his mouth. The other man behind him smirked at his companion's discomfort.

"In here too? Jesus, you southern town guys sure are grumpy about this station," he said, voice very smooth with a small hint of an accent.

Hakkai watched the stranger remove the stick and crush it between his fingers. He popped it back into his pack and smiled once again like the situation never happened. Hakkai took the time to look both the men over. The taller one had long and flaming dark-red hair hanging loosely around his head. His eyes were the same red color, and his skin held an olive tone to match his dark-brown jacket. His face was sharp at the chin with two scars parallel on his left cheek. The man behind him was slightly shorter but also held sharp features. His hair was golden blond while his eyes were closely an azure blue. The scowl on his face made his eyes nearly droop and seem permanently angry. He had his hands stuffed in his pockets as he regarded Hakkai almost as if he were bored.

Hakkai threw the look right back at him, which made the man narrow his eyes. This caused the skin around his mouth to tighten and made him look even more menacing.

"Hey sorry about that man, my name is Sha Gojyo and Blondie behind me is my partner, Genjyo Sanzo. We're detectives from Bosatsu's unit up in the projects; they sent us down here to collect some paper work," the red head said, waving his right hand around in the air. The man behind him elbowed him angrily in the back.

"Idiot, he's not a mind reader, tell him what paper work," he hissed. Gojyo rubbed his sore back and scowled at the blond.

"I was getting there," he hissed back.

Hakkai stood from his desk and went toward a filing cabinet in the back of the room by the shelves of evidence.

"No need, I received a memo yesterday. I was told to accompany the two detectives that are working on the Rainy Day case to the meeting," he replied. He pulled out the folder he needed and walked back to the red head. He handed it to the man and gave a small nod.

"I've already been through it; you don't need to check it," was all he said before he walked toward his desk. Hakkai grabbed his reading glasses and faced to two men.

"Ah. . . Cool. . . So anyway, I didn't get your name pal," Gojyo said handing the folder to Sanzo, who had already begun to thumb through it with narrowed eyes.

"Oh, my apologies, my name is Cho Hakkai Gonou but everyone calls me Hakkai or Kai for short," he answered, sweeping back some of his chocolate hair. Gojyo made a noise of acknowledgment and nodded his head.

"Nice name, it suits you, but why do they call you your middle name?" he asked. Sanzo next to him rolled his eyes but continued to look through the file. Hakkai's eyes never changed at the small annoyance.

"Because Cho is too formal and people say Gonou alone doesn't suit me," he answered honestly, putting on his glasses. As he pushed his glasses up his nose, Gojyo blinked but let out a small laugh. Sanzo behind him closed the folder and looked at them both.

"Lets go, the meeting is going to start," he grunted. Gojyo sighed and snatched the folder from his partner.

"Yeah I got it, coming Kai?" he asked. Hakkai not used to such banter nodded slowly.

"Yes, I'll follow," he said. Gojyo shrugged and sighed, tapping his forehead with the folder.

"So formal," he whispered rolling his eyes. Hakkai ignored the comment as he watched the red head turn and head back toward the stairs. Sanzo stood there a moment, seeming to analyze him. Hakkai felt a small bubble of fear coat his stomach, but he didn't let it show on his face. The blond stopped watching him and made a motion with his head.

"Coming?" he asked, voice deep. Hakkai walked forward without answering and followed Gojyo up to the stairs.

* * *

Hakkai stood in the middle of the room, setting up the projector. Several people were sitting around the conference room simply chatting. Kougaiji stood next to him and watched Hakkai set up, throwing in an idle comment here and there. Detective Gojyo and Sanzo sat in the back of the room, talking in hushed whispers. Sanzo was still going through the folder he had while Gojyo seemed to be trying to have a conversation with him. The room filled quickly, and Hakkai took his seat next to Kougaiji as the chief walked in. They all silenced as high heels clicked against the floor. A tall woman followed by a bearded man walked in and took their places at the front of the room. Kanzeon Bosatsu stood next to her secretary Jiroushin, who seemed to always have that worried look attached to his face. Kougaiji leaned back in his seat and casually slung his arm up and over the back of Hakkai's chair. The brown-haired male was used to the behavior. Many often called Kougaiji and Hakkai work husbands.

"All right then, is everyone here? Good, close the door and let's begin," Bosatsu said, pointing at the door. It closed as she motioned toward Hakkai. The man used his remote to the projector, and the lights went off. Images popped up on the large white screen while Kanzeon got out her laser pointer. A map popped up on the screen with several markings and labels.

"Everyone here in this room at some point as either worked with or was involved with certain areas of this case. The Rainy Day return rapist has targeted more than thirty-five people in this last year alone. Half of them had received a second visit from our perp and lost their lives to him. Victims range from the ages of twenty to thirty, and the option of race and sexuality doesn't apply. He has though never left or ever not left a body outside these certain areas beyond the city limits. Victims though have consistently been discovered near major public areas such as malls, stores or office buildings. Bodies have invariably been left to where the killer knew the public would immediately be the next day. A body has never been left undiscovered for more than fourteen hours," she finished.

Hakkai flipped through slides of the latest victims. People between the ages of twenty to thirty, male and female lit up the screen.

"This killer has been live now for more than four years. His total body count is somewhere near forty to fifty victims. Several people have been chosen as suspects," she said.

Hakkai's next slide went to the first suspect. The man was obviously Chinese and looked to be in his late thirties. His hair was long and gray as he stared with a sneer from the mug shot. His face and every feature were as sharp as a blade.

"The first suspect arrested was Chin Yisou of the Hyakugan mafia. His father's recent gang activity lead to an event that had killed over three people in the same fashion our rapist had. No long-standing evidence has been found, but he has yet to be removed from the list," she explained.

Hakkai clicked to the next slide. A man with an eye patch and shocking orange spiky hair popped up on the screen.

"The second on our list is names Zenon with no reported last name. He is suspected since his escape from custody of the murder of his wife and child back in September. He recently joined a hostile biker gang that has been involved in hits all over the city. Two victims last month died in the same fashion our killer likes to take," she finished.

"What conditions is the body found in?" a detective in the back asked.

"Strangle marks and slight abrasions on the wrists and ankles. Otherwise the rest of the victim's torso remains un touched," she answered.

"As for the obvious yes the killer only kills on rainy days because it is guessed that evidence gets washed away. Another reason could be that it is somewhat of a calling card," she said again.

The meeting went on as Hakkai flipped through slides as Bosatsu talked. The detectives in the room listened intently and talked among themselves. Kougaiji next to Hakkai had his eyes narrowed at the screen as he absorbed all the information and details. When the meeting was over, and everyone was walking out was when Kougaiji decides to finally speak

"Damn, this is going to take a lot of resources," he muttered. Hakkai over heard him as he began to disassemble the projector.

"From what I remember over the last four years, almost every precinct in the area has had trouble nailing a suspect," he said. Kou watched him put away the projector, and he stood. He gently put a hand on the back of Hakkai's shoulder, waiting for the other to face him. Hakkai looked at his friend with curiosity in his green eyes. Kougaiji looked at the floor.

"Hakkai. . . I need to tell you-" he began.

"Kougaiji, I need you, Sha and Genjyo in my office!" Bosatsu called across the room. Kougaiji nodded at her and watched Gojyo and Sanzo talk on their way out the door with her. He looked back to Hakkai in apology.

"I'll tell you later," he finished on a mumble. Hakkai watched him go with a small dose of worry. He brushed it off and stood up from his kneeling position on the floor.

"Cho?" a voice asked behind him. Hakkai looked over his shoulder and blinked. A rather tall nervous looking man was standing next to him, holding some folders. Hakkai recognized Benny, who worked in the mail room. He often saw the other scrambling through papers and delivering mail to all the offices.

"Hello Benny," he greeted back. Benny was over six feet tall with a rather pale completion. His eyes were a healthy color of brown with trimmed if not a shaggy mop of black hair. Since he worked in the mail room, he constantly wore an overcoat since the room was unfailingly cold even in the summer. The coat made his frame seem larger and to some people, notwithstanding Hakkai, he was a bit intimidating. Despite his physical appearance though, he knew that Benny wouldn't hurt a fly.

"Say um. . . If you're not busy Friday night. . . Would you like to? . . I don't know. . . Go get a drink with me?" the other asked, fidgeting nervously.

Hakkai was surprised, but he hid it well. He never would have imagined he would be asked out, especially by a male. In the six years, he had worked here only Jien or Kou tried to get him to be sociable outside of work.

He swallowed nervously and began to think things over. Going with someone to get a drink could be one of two things. A friendly gesture or a date invites. Reading Benny's body language and tone, Hakkai could clearly tell Benny was a homosexual in disguise and nervous about asking another male, he was sure was straight. He hadn't really known Benny personally, only the occasional hello of a fellow co-worker was as far as Hakkai had ever gotten with Benny. The other male seemed nice, but he didn't look like the type you could simply go on one date with and be done. Benny seemed the type to want a long-term relationship.

Hakkai thought back to his therapy session and chewed his lip. His therapist recommended occasional flings that might help him connect with people. He also didn't truly consider what gender she was seriously talking about. She didn't really say sleep with a woman or a male, but she was giving him options.

Hakkai lost in his thoughts looked back up into the eyes of Benny. The male still seemed to have that nervous look on his face. Hakkai smiled and gently held up a hand.

"I'm sorry; I'm going to be working late that night. I receive a new shipment from the case up east, and I'll need to update and file everything in one night," he explained. Hakkai wasn't lying though, Friday night was the night he received his largest deliveries. Benny seemed to droop at the words, but he tried to hide it.

"Oh, all right, um . . . I guess . . . Another time then," he coughed out. Hakkai smiled and saw how nervous and disappointed Benny was.

"Yes, we'll definitely reschedule," he promised.

Maybe by then he would have his thoughts on dating figured out.

* * *

TBC


	3. Chance Happenings

**Chapter 3: Chance Happenings**

* * *

By the end of the day and many people visiting him for paperwork Hakkai was ready to fall down. His eyes felt so heavy that his vision blurred in and out. The only thing keeping him running was the fact that he had lunch with Kou, and the food gave him what little energy he could muster. He almost dragged his feet as he walked to the crosswalk. He stood by the chatting crowd as cars rushed by on the busy city streets. Hakkai felt a wave of dizziness hit him and fought to stay up right. His breathing came out a little shakily, and he rubbed his sore eyes. He hoped to go straight home and fall asleep, whether it is his couch or his semi-comfortable bed.

He heard laughter and looked over to the benches by the bus stop. Many young school girls were talking on their phones or chatting. A few were texting and he could see one girl pointing at him and whispering to her friend. Hakkai suddenly became very self-conscious and put his back to them. He hid himself in his rain coat as they giggled and tried to ignore it. For some reason, when people stared at him; he invariably thought he was being judged. He feared he was always being made fun of, and it always made him feel depressed. His chest tightened as he laid a hand over his heart. His breathing became deeper as he felt a small panic attack hit him.

His vision zoned out, and he felt a weight press him down. He swallowed the lump in his throat as his heart beat became irregular. The crowd around him moved as the walking light lit up. He sighed in relief and quickly walked across the street and away from the giggling girls. His breathing finally evened out as he moved with the crowd. There were only a few blocks left until he hit the subway.

He stopped when he hit the other sidewalk and frowned. His body suddenly felt weightless and strange. Recognizing the feeling from this morning, he blinked several times. Everything around him suddenly became smothered; every sound and every move seemed dulled or muted. As if he were moving in slow motion, he moved his head back and forth to look up and down the sidewalk streets. He faced forward and could only hear the sound of his own breathing and heart beat. People around him walked as he continued to stare. He didn't know what composed him to do so, but his body moved by its own means.

_Turn your body. . . Turn around. . . Turn toward the street. . . _

His mind spoke to him, and he followed. Hakkai faced the oncoming crowd as the last person crossed the street. He blinked as his muted world suddenly came to a focus. It snapped him awake as he looked at the scene before him.

"Jason! Jason! Get out of the street!" someone was yelling hysterically.

Hakkai turned slowly to the street, and his eyes widened. His eyes flicked to the street sign and saw the light flash red for people crossing the road. His eyes shot down the road, and his mouth fell open slightly. A young boy stood in the middle of it, his mother yelling to him from the side of the street. Cars whizzed by him, missing by inches. The boy seemed frozen in place, not moving and trembling all over. A black car turned the corner up ahead and picked up speed right toward him.

The boy didn't move; he stood there, simply watching as his demise grew closer.

_What do I do? It's like my dream . . . Do I go or do I simply? . . ?_

Images of his dream flashed before his eyes. He was holding a bleeding child, the mother screaming frantically.

_So much. . . Blood. . . _

He decided.

Hakkai felt his body move before his logical mind worked any further.

_Save him . . . Save him!_

He ran out into the busy street and narrowly missed another car going by. He twisted his body and managed to miss a red car. The black car didn't slow nor did it show signs of stopping. Hakkai couldn't even see the driver as the car approached him. Hakkai sprinted to the middle of the road and quickly grabbed the child. The boy looked at him, and Hakkai saw the mixture of fear and confusion. Holding the child from the middle, he sprang forward toward the boy's mother who held a look of horror on her face. The black car swerved, having finally seen them. People yelled and screamed as the sound of screeching tires filled the air. Hakkai felt the engine of the car roar as it skimmed his back, missing by inches.

"Eck!" Hakkai gasped, falling forward.

The side mirror of the car hit his arm, causing him to spin and land painfully on his back. He held the boy in an iron grip against his chest as both crashed to the sidewalk. People made way and took out phones to call the police. A sudden crash was heard, and many turned to look and point. The car swerved into a street light and now sent smoke into the air. The driver opened the door and wobbled out before landing in a heap in the middle of the road. Hakkai opened his eyes when he heard crying. The boy was holding his jacket in a tight grip, sobbing against his shoulder. Hakkai sat up in pain, clutching the ten-year-old to his chest. The boy's mother pushed through crowds of gathering people.

"Jason! Jason!" She screamed in fear. Hakkai managed to sit up all the way and open his arms. The boy clung to him like glue and wouldn't let go.

"Jason, Jason, it's all right," Hakkai whispered to him.

The boy opened his eyes and looked at Hakkai. The older male smiled as bright blue eyes looked at him. A mop of messy and rain soaked blond hair hung loosely from his head. The boy's mother not caring of the water knelt down beside them to check her son.

"Jason! Jason why did you stand in the middle of the road like that! You could have been killed!" she sobbed, crushing her boy to her. The boy only trembled as the sound of an ambulance filled the air. Hakkai sighed and smiled slightly. People were surrounding them now, watching the ones who had almost died and admiring the person who had risked his life to save the boy.

Hakkai suddenly felt very tired as his head bobbed and eventually drooped.

_So. . . Tired . . . _

His blinked as his world spun and turned into a muddled mess. He leant back on his arms and kept falling backwards. He hit the sidewalk with his back in a wet plop and stayed there. The boy and the mother's eyes widened as he simply stayed there, not moving.

Hakkai passed out.

* * *

The brunette awoke to someone calling his name in his ear.

He blinked blearily as the sound of rain hitting the roof of the ambulance alerted him. Painfully, but steadily he pulled air into his lungs, wincing as the muscles in his back protested. He sat up to some degree and touched his aching head. The female paramedic by his side put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. Hakkai looked at her and took in the tall and blue clad honey blond beside him.

"Easy now, you might have a concussion," she said, making him lay back down. Hakkai looked everywhere around the ambulance until his eyes looked out the door. Sha Gojyo with his partner Genjyo Sanzo were staring at him?

"Holy shit Kai, you are one lucky bastard," Gojyo uttered in amazement; mouth slightly opened. Hakkai blinked at him from where he was situated.

"Detective Sha?" he said in a daze, some how remembering the name. Gojyo's look went from shock to a small smirk.

"Wow, slightly delirious and remembering me, I feel special," he said. His partner Sanzo rolled his eyes beside him.

"Who could forget a moron like you?" he uttered. Hakkai felt a stinging pain as he raised his hand to his head. A large bandage coated his forehead, and he looked to the female paramedic.

"How long. . . . Have I been asleep?" he asked. She looked down at him after checking his arm and both his eyes.

"About an hour, we already took the driver of the car away. His blood-alcohol content was way above the legal limit. The boy is fine, by the way; he was lucky you were there," she smiled.

"You saved his life," she mentioned. Hakkai felt both a bubble of pain, and joy hit his heart.

_Thank god. . . _

He closed his eyes and sat up.

"I'm fine, just a little dizzy; I can go," he said. The paramedic didn't look happy in the slightest.

"Sir, you were hit by the side mirror of the car. You're lucky your back didn't break from the collision and leave you paralyzed. We need to take you in for a medical examination," she suggested. Hakkai shook his head; he hated hospitals, and he never set foot in one since his sister died.

"I'm fine; I'll head straight home," he promised. The woman was about to protest again when Gojyo interrupted.

"Hey sweet heart, we'll take him home," he smiled, motioning to himself and his partner. Hakkai quickly looked toward him and shook his head.

"No, really, I don't want to intrude. I can take the subway," he said in a wince. His head was throbbing, and it was making him feel sick.

"You'd rather stagger home and let yourself fall into the gutter?" Sanzo said from behind Gojyo. The injured brunette man frowned at the blond.

"I assumed you were a smart man, should I think otherwise?" Sanzo asked again with narrowed eyes. Hakkai frowned at his logic and wrinkled his nose.

"If I were a smart man, I would simply let the young medic here take me to the hospital. Since I am staggering home and especially being escorted by you, which means you, are enabling my stupidity," Hakkai countered with a small dizzy smile. Sanzo's eyes narrowed even more while Gojyo snickered.

"Ha . . . Ouch, someone who likes to argue back Sanzo. Looks like you're not the only tough cookie Sanzo old boy," Gojyo laughed.

They managed to help Hakkai out of the ambulance and onto the sidewalk. People talked and pointed as Hakkai staggered past them in between Gojyo and Sanzo. The brown-haired male blushed and kept his head down. He tried to walk normally, but the pain in his lower back was preventing it.

"Are you alright man, I'm starting to regret letting you out of that ambulance," Gojyo said, steadying him. Hakkai winced but clenched his eyes shut.

"I just want to go home," was all he said.

"Um, excuse me," a woman's voice uttered. Hakkai stopped as the mother and her son approached him. The young boy hid slightly behind his mother as she smiled at him.

"Thank you for saving Jason," she said softly, getting teary.

"I owe you so much," she finished bowing at him. Jason beside her came out a little from behind his mother.

"Are you all right?" he asked, eyes blinking. Hakkai couldn't help but smile into his deep-blue eyes.

"I'm just fine, are you all right? You gave your mother quite a scare," he said softly but not unkindly. The boy bit his bottom lip and looked down at his shoes.

"I just. . . I froze, I couldn't move. I don't know why," he said softly back. Hakkai gently reached out and patted his shoulder and ruffled his hair.

"It's all right; it was a very scary situation. Just be careful next time, stick to your mom like glue," he advised. The boy nodded furiously and hugged his mother's arm tight.

"I will!" he promised smiling

* * *

Instead of taking him home like promised Hakkai found himself sitting at a booth at the local diner. He was slightly annoyed and extremely tired as he watched Gojyo flirt with the waitress. Sanzo seemed annoyed as well as he glared his partner down from behind a cup of coffee. They were sitting near the windows, watching people run home as the rain came down even harder. Fog was rolling in and causing visibility to become difficult.

"I thought I was going home?" Hakkai asked softly once the waitress had left. Gojyo picked up his own coffee and took a sip.

"You looked like you could use some food," was all he said. Sanzo next to him narrowed his eyes.

"More like your stomach was growling, you bitch," he muttered setting down his cup. Hakkai inwardly agreed; he was exhausted and all Gojyo could think about was food. Hakkai only chose to look out the window as his arm ached and his head throbbed.

"Well excuse me for feeding both your hides," Gojyo mumbled. They all fell into a small bout of silence. Hakkai never looked away from the window as everyone drank their coffee. His eyes were ready to fall out of his head, and he knew he would have to explain his injury to Kougaiji tomorrow.

"I hate the rain," Sanzo grumbled, moving his bangs out of his eyes. Hakkai didn't look at the blond, but he grasped his aching arm and nodded.

"Me too," he breathed. Gojyo was watching them both before he turned his eyes to the window.

"Why does it seem that the killer in the return rapist case only kills when it rains?" he asked out of the blue. Hakkai looked at him then.

"The theory is that rain has the possibility of washing away evidence of wherever the body is dropped," the brunette said.

"The file said it might also be like a calling card. Don't leave your home on a rainy day unless you want to die," Sanzo put in. Hakkai wasn't sure how but by the time the food came and went, they were all still regarding the case. Hakkai put in what he knew from years of paperwork and the detective's experience they discussed a lot. When Hakkai's injury became too much, it started to show on his face.

"I'm sorry. . . I really should get home," he breathed. Gojyo nodded and stood up from the booth.

"Right, sorry about that. I guess we really should have just taken you home, huh? Honestly, I truthfully wanted to know how a scrawny guy like you moved so fast to save that kid today," the red head smiled. Hakkai shrugged and picked up his rain coat.

"I ran track in high school," was all he said.

"Really now, Sanzo did too," he smirked looking at the blond. Sanzo grunted and took out his wallet.

"I'll pay this time but you owe me," he looked accusingly at Gojyo. The red head smiled sheepishly.

"You know I don't get paid till Thursday," he said. Hakkai watched them and inwardly frowned. For two men who got along so strangely they seemed to work well together. Sanzo was a bit quiet if not presumably angry, and Gojyo was. . . Flirty and flamboyant. Both men seemed intelligent though as they simply talked about the case. Hakkai thought it as one of those situations where people acted. . . Different. . . On purpose, hiding their true selves. Both men seemed to be arguing with their eyes at one another but Hakkai ignored it.

His head was throbbing.

By the time they dropped Hakkai off at his curb it had gotten very late out.

"So take care of yourself and don't go jumping into traffic any time soon!" the red head said from the passenger-side window. Hakkai nodded and tried to stay in one spot without falling over. He must have looked tired because Sanzo raised an eyebrow at him.

"Get some sleep," was all he said, reaching into his pocket for a cigarette before turning away. Hakkai nodded at them both.

"Thank you for dinner and the ride. Good luck on the case," he said. Gojyo winked at him and Hakkai blushed somewhat, unused to the gesture.

"Don't worry were not going anywhere. Our department will be working on this case for quite a while. We'll be hanging around the station allot so we'll have to grab lunch sometime. Sanzo might seem grumpy but on the inside, he's a big teddy bear," Gojyo smirked. From the driver's side, both men heard Sanzo growl.

"Do you want to die?" he asked his partner. Gojyo rolled his eyes and waved at Hakkai.

"See you around," he smiled.

Hakkai watched them pull away from the curb and meld with the traffic. He stood there a moment simply watching them go. Reaching his limit on energy, he stumbled up the stairs and nearly collapsed onto his own floor. He panted for breath as he looked at the clock, and it read nine. He stumbled to his bedroom a breath away from the bathroom. He entered the spacious area bedroom and not bothering to undress fell into his sheets. He sank into his blankets and let out a sigh.

He was out in a matter of minutes.

* * *

TBC


	4. True intentions

**Chapter 4: True intentions**

* * *

_He panted as something caused pleasure to coat his spine and sink into his stomach. His fingers clenched into the sheets as grunting floated all around him. He couldn't look over his shoulder as something touched his back and roamed between his legs. He was a trembling mess as he gasped and squirmed. He had never felt this way before, his body was like a doll as it was pushed and pulled forward. He was suddenly flipped onto his back as he opened his eyes. The person above him smirked and continued to move. He couldn't see the face as it was blocked by a sea of hair. He closed his eyes and yelled into the open air._

Hakkai's eyes opened.

He panted as he sat up shakily, still fully clothed from the night before. Thunder crashed outside as he turned his head to the windows. Rain pounded even harder against the glass as he shakily ran a hand through his sweat drenched hair. He stood from the bed and looked at his clock near the bed.

2:45 a.m.

Hakkai sighed and bit his lip. He walked to his closet and fetched a night robe. He shed his work clothes and tossed them into his hamper. He felt awake, but the pull of sleep still beckoned him. Walking to his bathroom with the robe, he went to the shower. Turning it on hot he stood under the spray, going over his thoughts.

"What was that dream?" He asked himself.

He knew what it was. . . What he was trying to figure out was why it was with. . . With. . .

"Why was I having sex with a man?" He asked himself. He shook his head and let the water run through his locks. He finished up and dried off, slipping into his robe. He walked to his living room and sat down on his couch. He frowned when he turned on the TV, and the cable still wasn't fixed.

Great, he would be up all night now. . . What could he do?

* * *

Hakkai still thought about his dream as he came home from grocery shopping. He wasn't due for work for several hours and needed a way to pass the time. To starve off boredom and the imminent exhaustion he decided to stock up before the rain became heavier. He struggled to hold the few bags he had as he opened the door to his apartment.

"Hakkai, hey need some help?" a voice down the hallway asked. The brunette turned and gave a soft smile to his building mate.

"Ah, yes, please, thank you Goku," he smiled, stepping back from the door. The brown-haired boy smiled as he practically skipped toward Hakkai. He grabbed the keys from the older brunette and opened the door. Hakkai invited him in and set the bags of groceries on his counter.

"You really need a cart dude. You know, the ones the old ladies use when they take the bus," Goku smiled, sitting on one of his table bar stools. Hakkai chuckled and ran a hand through his wet bangs. The rain had turned into a light drizzle that threatened to become heavy again.

"Since I shop every other day, I really don't need to. Besides, I'm too young to be using one of those things," he finished, sighing and sitting down also.

He had known Goku since the boy had first moved in. He lived with his uncle down the hall who was for lack of better words. . . An ass. The man was rude to say the least and Hakkai could never figure out how Goku could stand him. Hakkai thought it was one of those cases where if you weren't family, you were scum. He at some points tutored Goku in math and English, the boy having always been a little behind in school. He also was the one to bail Goku out of trouble a few times.

Goku had a nasty habit of destroying public property, but his friends prompted him into it half the time. The boy more than once winded up with a night in jail, causing him to get a beating from his guardian. Often the boy would come to his place after a nasty fight with his uncle to get some peace. For Hakkai, it almost felt like practice parenting. He had never spent time with younger adults, and Goku always needed the attention and affection. He also loved Hakkai's cooking when the boy's uncle worked late or neglected to go grocery shopping. He guessed that for Goku, he was a lifeline. He fed the boy, given him a place to sleep sometimes and given him the needed affection.

This had been going on now for a couple of years, for as long as they have lived in the same building. He also considered himself Goku's teacher in more ways than one. Goku had gotten curious about sex very early, and his uncle failed to inform him of. . . The talk. It wasn't so much embarrassing. . . Only the parts where Goku had said he was more interested in boys than girls. He didn't encourage the boy to experiment but no doubt Goku was coming home later and later because of his. . . Curiosity. Hakkai had been fine with it as long as the boy had taken the precautions and didn't attract any pedophiles. Hakkai at one time needed to teach an older male a lesson in order to keep his hands off of Goku.

He didn't notice Goku smiling at him and moving a little closer.

"I like your place Kai, did you redecorate or something? It's been a while since I've been in here," he smiled. Hakkai looked hard at the boy; Goku seemed to have this far-off look on his face as he fiddled with the buttons on his shirt.

"Ah, no. . . It's the same; you were just in here a week ago. Is something the matter Goku? You look. . . Distracted," he asked in slight concern. He loved Goku like a little brother, and it bothered him to see the boy so out of sorts. Goku snapped back into reality but smiled a moment later.

"Oh no, I'm moving soon is all. I start college in another state in a week. My uncle keeps giving me crap about it, says I'm better off staying here and saving money. The thing is, though I kinda want to get out of the city. I'm sick of all the bad weather and people. Something rural might be nice I guess. . . But . . . " He said, tilting his head. Hakkai couldn't help but notice how Goku's eyes would become far off as he looked at him. He was happy though that Goku decided to go the college route.

"But . . . ?" Hakkai prompted, tilting his head.

"I'm sort of doing a bucket list of sorts. Who knows? I might like it there and not want to come back ya know? I wanted to. . . Do certain things before I left," he shrugged. Hakkai frowned and tried to think of what Goku meant. Getting up Hakkai began to empty out his grocery bag. Goku remained sitting and only watched him.

"Like what?" Hakkai asked. Goku made a noise in the back of his throat as he tinkered around the apartment.

"I went out drinking with some friends. Did some drugs, smoked some stuff? . . Shit like that," he shrugged. Hakkai only paused for a moment before he continued his task. He had forgotten how much of a street kid Goku was. Many children who lived in the city tended to do stupid or dangerous things.

"Have you had your fill?" he asked. Goku made another noise.

"Almost. . . There. . . Is one more thing I want to do though Kai," he seemed to mumble. Hakkai put away the last of his groceries and faced the young man. Goku was giving him that far off stare again. Judging by what the boy had done on his list there was really only one last option. Goku migrated to his couch, slouching low and crossing his legs. Hakkai suddenly felt a spark light up in him at the way Goku was staring at him. Hakkai narrowed his eyes and moved back toward the kitchen. Goku's eyes slanted as they never left his moving form.

_No way. . . _

When Goku was curious about sex, Hakkai, could often tell when he was aroused. The boy would brush up against him or touch his hands or simply sit right on his leg and smile when he was smaller. Hakkai had calmly at the time explained that he was far too young for such behavior. For Goku, it was only natural to flock to the person who gave you a little light in your pitiful world. It didn't help either when one-night Goku had almost slipped into bed with him, giving him the excuse that he and his uncle had fought, and he wanted to sleep next to someone. As Goku got older, the behavior with him stopped and Hakkai never mentioned it again.

Hakkai frowned when Goku seemed to lock eyes with him. Hakkai was suddenly, for some reason, reminded of Gojyo when the boy suddenly smirked. Hakkai knew his thoughts were entering a dangerous territory, and Goku was seven years his junior after all.

"Kai. . . Can I ask you something?" he asked quietly. Hakkai blinked and sat down on his bar stool.

"Of course Goku, what is it?" he asked kindly. The boy seemed to fidget as he sat lower on the couch.

"Do you like me?" he asked. Hakkai seemed caught off guard by the question.

"Of course Goku, why?" he asked.

"I mean as more than just a little brother or your kid," he suddenly asked in all seriousness. He stood from the couch and approached Hakkai. The brunette remained calm as the boy let his hand come out and bunch softly in his bangs.

"Because I'm not going to lie to you Kai. Out of all the people I've met, I like you the most. I get it though, I'm young, and ya probably think you'll hurt me or some noble shit like that. But I am not asking you for a relationship; I know it wouldn't last. . . And honestly, I don't want to destroy what we have together. You did a lot for me growing up, if anything, I wish you were my dad instead of my shitty uncle. You've supported me through the good and the bad. You put up with me and my habits and attitude. . . Kai, you mean a lot to me," he finished coming even closer.

Hakkai's breathing sped up a little when Goku maneuvered himself between his legs. The boy wrapped his arms around his neck and brought his face close. Hakkai had always wondered how the boy's eyes became so amber that they looked almost gold.

"Goku. . . Do you want to sleep with me?" Hakkai found himself asking softly. The boy only smiled and nodded his head.

"Honestly, I have for a while. I understand why you pushed me away when I first started showing interest. Honestly, I'm glad you did, and it probably would have ruined me. Now that I've got it all out of my system, I want it to be you before I go to college. Not so much as a lust thing but . . . Because I think, it means more if it was with you. Hakkai you. . . You got me this far," he whispered against the older man's lips. Hakkai swallowed and looked to the side. The words struck something deep within him as he felt Goku press his body against him.

"I'm not going to lie Goku; you'll be my first male. . . It's. . . Been a long time," he whispered. Goku honestly seemed a little shocked.

"R-really? No shit? I thought people would be crawling all over you," he asked, sounding a bit excited. Hakkai shook his head and let out a large breath of air.

"No, I'm afraid I keep myself very scarce," he admitted.

Goku didn't hesitate to come forward and capture his lips. A little surprised Hakkai almost pulled back but was held in place by Goku's eager hands. Not knowing what to do the brunette lifted his own hands and set them gently on Goku's slim hips. The feeling of having the warm flesh beneath his palm made him squirm on his stool. The boy's tongue came out and gently licked at his bottom lip. Green eyes closed as an eager tongue slipped past his lips and ran over the top of his teeth. Hakkai made a noise and Goku gently pulled back and pecked his lips, eyes shining.

"Well since I'll be your first boy; I'll take good care of ya," he winked. Hakkai felt a hint of nervousness enter his stomach over the arousal.

"Just promise me Goku, after me, try to find someone to fall in love with okay? I won't be there to bail you out if you get involved with the wrong person. Multiple partners are very dangerous," he pleaded. Goku smiled softly but kissed him again.

"I get it Kai; I promise," he said.

* * *

Hakkai grunted as he panted and moved his hips, Goku was in no means heavy, but he was solidly built. The boy's skin was a healthy and all natural tan, muscle coating his arms and stomach. His legs were strong as he straddled Hakkai and moved himself. Hakkai closed his eyes when he felt a warm breath spread over his chest, licking the skin afterwards. Both were nude on Hakkai's couch as Goku straddled him and moved.

"Oh Kai. . . Shit . . . Yes!" Goku pleaded into the air. Hakkai clenched his teeth as he fought to control his pleasure. The noises' Goku made was music to his ears, and he briefly wondered how much he could ring out of the younger man. The boy panted and threw his head back as Hakkai's cock penetrated him. He rose up and down, riding him and making the leather couch squeak.

"Yes. . . Yes! So good. . . So much better than I imagined!" he groaned, moving his hips harder.

"Goku . . . Slow down or you'll hurt yourself. . . " Hakkai managed out, grasping Goku's hips. Even if it was all very arousing, he didn't want Goku to hurt himself at the speed he was moving. It had also been a while since Hakkai had been intimate, and he was unused to using certain muscles after so long. Goku came forward and gripped Hakkai's shoulders, squeezing the other internally. Hakkai groaned as he felt Goku capture his lips.

"No way Kai, I can ride a cock. I've always wanted to ride yours though," he panted. Hakkai lifted his hips, and Goku pressed into him harder and bucked his pelvis.

"I'll make this good. . . I'll make this so good for you," the boy groaned.

Hakkai gasped as his shoulders were grabbed, and he was pushed to lie down. Goku towered over him with a smirk and set his hands-on Hakkai's chest. The boy used his couch to his advantage as he bounced and rode Hakkai's organ. He tilted his head back and whimpered, causing Hakkai to grab his hips and help him move. The older brunette had mixed feelings about the situation. He loved Goku like a brother and knew somewhere deep in his mind that he should not be doing this. Goku though seemed to be good at this and Hakkai had a feeling the boy was no blushing virgin. He felt Goku reach back and angle himself better to thrust down on. Hakkai raised his hips and copied the action. From what Hakkai could remember with his last girlfriend it didn't nearly feel this good.

Goku's stomach muscles clenched as he moved. Hakkai felt his own hair become damp with sweat as orgasm built in his stomach. He tried to last, but it had been so long and the image of Goku on top of him wasn't helping. He grabbed the boy's hips in warning.

"Goku. . . I won't last!" he panted, shaking his head. The boy chuckled and only moved harder.

"Good. . . I'm gonna come too!" he rasped out. Hakkai gasped when Goku sat up all the way and slammed back down with a groan. Hakkai clenched his teeth as he raised his hips and came. Goku gave a small breathless laugh, and a choked moan a moment later. Hakkai unused to the sensation flinched when hot semen coated his chest and stomach as Goku orgasmed. Hakkai panted as he felt his own liquid coat Goku's insides. The boy leaned down to him and kissed his lips.

"Damn. . . That was awesome," he whispered.

Hakkai only panted against his lips, trembling all over.

* * *

TBC


	5. Breaking point

**Chapter 5: Breaking point**

* * *

In the few next days, Hakkai went back to his therapist. After a week of thinking he needed someone to talk to. Rain pattered the streets and of all days he chose to take the subway instead of a cab. Traffic was very hefty today, and the people seemed to multiply around every corner. Feeling a slight chill, Hakkai wore a burdensome green turtle neck, not wanting to add sickness to his insomnia problem. He sat staring at the floor with his fingers loosely clasped in front of him.

"You seem a little distracted today, something interesting happened recently?" his therapist asked him. Hakkai shook his head, brown hair waving and looked at her with his confused eyes.

"Nothing major I suppose. . . Well, that's a small lie. I've been. . . Taking your advice on sex. Do you remember Goku? The one I had taken in a few years ago?" he asked her. She nodded, but she didn't let her facial expression change.

"Yes, the boy you take in from time to time. I remember you mentioning him in a few sessions," she said. Hakkai looked at the far wall, sniffling and clearing his nose.

"He's nineteen now; he's grown so much since I last remembered. He left for college yesterday in another state. Anyway. . . He said he did a bucket list before he wanted to go away. It turns out I was at the bottom of it, but not in a bad way. We were intimate a couple of times over the week, and I'm not sure how I should feel about it. I love Goku like a brother, but I fear I might have ruined him in a way. I believe we might have rushed through it but . . . Part of me wanted to sleep with him," he said quietly. The therapist made a noise in the back of her throat.

"So you would say you didn't sleep together out of love but friendship?" she asked. Hakkai nodded and found that reasoning to be the only one that made sense to him.

"Like some part of me wanted to love him that way but . . . Mostly, I just wanted to feel loved then have it. Goku is very smart, and he isn't the type to get tricked or fooled. There really wasn't anything terribly romantic the whole time we were together. I feel like if he was I would have become more attached. He was more the type to rush in just get what he wanted from me, but at the same time he was very . . . Good to me," the brunette sounded confused even as he worded it himself.

His therapist set down her notepad and regarded him.

"Have you been sleeping well over the past week?" she asked. Hakkai blinked and thought it over.

"Actually yes I have . . . Goku, came over practically every night before he left," he admitted nearly in embarrassment. She nodded but didn't let anything on her face change.

"Do you think that the lack of intimacy is one of your insomnia problems?" she asked.

"I've at no time really considered it. I never imagined that mentally I was sick, and that it was all physical . . . But . . . " He drifted off, eyes searching the carpet.

"But?" She softly prompted.

"I've never been so happy before," he finished. She tilted her head, causing her hair to fall off her left shoulder.

"Were you not happy before?" she asked.

"I think I was . . . Miserable?" he tried. He shook his head after he said the sentence.

"No. . . . I was incomplete, but more like depressed. If possible maybe my mind was trying to find my identity. When I was with Goku, it felt right, normal even. Sex with another male made me think and act and feel for once. Life was starting to repeat itself like I had to do it. When I was with Goku . . . I wanted to be there," he finished off quietly. She watched him and thought his words over in her head.

"Hakkai, have you ever had trouble identifying your sexuality?" She seemed to wonder more so than ask. Hakkai swallowed the saliva in his throat.

"I've always just been socially shy. Like . . . I had some kind of disorder that made me shut away from everything? I never thought of being . . . Because I couldn't decide if I was gay or not. I'm not disgusted when I think that I've been sleeping with a nineteen-year-old all week. I didn't think I was taking advantage, or that I could have done more for him when we were together almost every night. I don't . . . I don't understand how I could feel two different things at the same time but . . . I'm happy with both thoughts," he breathed.

His therapist watched him for a long moment. Hakkai continued to stare at the carpet as the rain hit the window outside.

"So the question is now Hakkai. . . What are you going to do?" she asked. The brunette lifted his head and looked her in the eye. She saw the confusion and what almost appeared to be the beginning of tears.

"I-I don't. . . I don't know," he whispered.

* * *

Going to work later that day was hard. His thoughts were elsewhere as he got ready and left his apartment. He felt very depressed but for the life of him; he couldn't figure out why. Was he scared that he thought he was gay or scared that those thoughts unconsciously kept him up at night for all these years? Was he really mentally sick and unaware of it and was he obvious to others? Did he do things that made people notice and laugh at him like the school girls at the bus stop?

These thoughts hit him all the way toward the station. He mindlessly walked through the building to the mail room and barely remembered going to the mail room. Grabbing his daily haul he walked toward the basement and went through the security door. Setting his box down Hakkai sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He winced when he touched the sore spot on his head. No one noticed the bruise because his bangs covered it up. Goku had noticed it one night when he had snuggled into his throat and happened to look up toward his face. Hakkai almost laughed at the memory, Goku huffing and saying he would kill the guy who managed to land a punch on him. Hakkai had told him of the car incident, and the boy had freaked. Hakkai didn't know how but it had led to another. . . Session of intimacy.

He woke from his thoughts to the sound of someone banging on his security door. He looked over his shoulder to see a large built man holding up his badge. Hakkai let him in and straightened upon seeing whom it was.

Homura Taishi walked forward, his blue trench sweeping the floor. It had been a while since Hakkai had seen the other male. His eyes were still as sharp as ever as the air around him carried a mysterious nonchalance. His hair was styled in the similar way Genjyo Sanzo had his, bangs in front and combed neatly in the back. Homura stared at him in a calm manner, but Hakkai knew there must be something brewing beneath the surface.

"Good day Detective Homura," Hakkai tried to greet kindly. He knew his voice betrayed him, but Homura gave him a nod and came a little closer.

"Cho Hakkai, I'm surprised to see you still here. I would have thought a man of your . . . Intellect, would have decided to take the offer up north. I heard Kougaiji. . . Personally recommended you," he smiled, teeth white as always.

Hakkai narrowed his eyes at the other man's tone. It was no secret that many knew that Hakkai and Kougaiji had ties. What they didn't know was that it wasn't on an intimate level. Homura's cold discolored eyes regarded him, waiting for a retort.

"Yes, well I'm afraid I didn't want to move my work so far from my apartment. After all, I'd hate to make you do your own paperwork," he added, turning away.

Homura gave a huff and decided to lean on the wall near the bathroom door. He had crossed his arms, and Hakkai couldn't help but notice how large the other man had become. Homura worked out because he was a field detective. He was used to chasing perps and even was known to manhandle a few. His track record had many police brutalities and abuse toward suspects in question all over it. He was a manipulator and often tricked people to get what he wanted. Hakkai was one of the very few besides Kougaiji, who was not fooled by his demeanor and lies.

"Speaking of paperwork, I remembered what I had come down here for. I need the files on the suspect list regarding the Rainy Day case; I'd prefer them in alphabetical order if you don't mind," his voice sauntered out. Hakkai finished putting away the rest of his own papers.

"Oh? And I guess you remembered that you needed the proper permission from the commissioner also? I would like that paperwork in alphabetical order as well," Hakkai mentioned. Homura seemed to freeze on the spot and frown. He closed his eyes and gave a small laugh as he pushed off the wall.

"Oh so your one of those types huh?" he asked. Hakkai stood his ground as Homura seemed to draw closer.

"So prim and proper? Kougaiji and Bosatsu must have you on a short leash huh?" he asked. Hakkai narrowed his eyes at the statement.

"Maybe it's about time that someone put you on yours," the brunette retorted. Homura's smile dropped as he approached the brunette closely. Hakkai only felt a small pin of fear coat his spine as Homura seemed to try to crush him between his body and the wooden desk.

"Depends Cho, is it, a leather leash or a metaphorical one?" he almost purred against the brunette's ear. Green eyes were sharp as a large hand came forward and grabbed his chin.

"I believe a noose would suit you much better," Hakkai hissed. Homura gave a smirk as his eyes turned darker. For an odd moment Homura seemed like he was about to lean forward and bend him back first over the desk. Hakkai made a noise as he was pushed backward and the hand on his chin became tighter.

"Better watch that tongue of yours Cho. Someday Kougaiji won't be around to save you," the dark-haired man growled against his mouth. Before Hakkai could retort or push him off, someone spoke.

"Hands off dip shit," a hiss came from behind them. Homura let go and backed up before facing the person behind him. Hakkai gasped and grabbed his jaw as the pressure was released. He rubbed the sore skin and looked up to see who had spoken. He was both relieved and surprised to see Detective Sanzo standing there with a scowl on his face. He wore a long tan trench coat with both his hands stuffed into the pockets. He regarded Homura with a look of both hatred and disgust; at least, that is what it looked like to Hakkai. Almost as if he was embarrassed Homura cleared his throat and rolled his shoulders.

"What do you want Genjyo?" he asked, tucking his own hands into his trench. Sanzo looked between the trembling Hakkai and the smirking Homura.

"I came to get some paper work for the Commissioner. I'm sure she would like to know why you're down here harassing her paper clerk though," he asked. Homura dropped the smirk and let out a small huff of laughter.

"Nothing, I'm finished here, not as if I got what I wanted per say, but I'll be on my way none the less," he simply said, walking past them both. Hakkai waited for the sound of footsteps to disappear before he looked up. Sanzo was facing the stairs, as if making sure the man was gone. His face went from irritated to an closely calculating perspective. He dropped the look a moment later and instead regarded Hakkai virtually calmly, well as calm as his facial muscles would allow. Hakkai tried to fix himself as the encounter with Homura had ruffled his polo shirt. He smoothed down his front and continued to rub his sore chin.

"Ah. . . So anyway, what paper work did you need?" Hakkai asked, dismissing the situation. He was still trembling slightly, and his jaw was sore from the brutal grip.

"Nothing actually, it was just an excuse," the blond said, turning toward him fully. Hakkai looked up in surprise, still rubbing his chin. He didn't take Sanzo the type to lie especially, by the way, the other held himself.

"An excuse?" he asked. He rooted himself to the floor as Sanzo approached his desk. The blond tilted his head and nodded it toward the brunette.

"Your head, how is it?" he asked, almost as if trying to peer through his thick unruly bangs. Hakkai lifted his bangs and smiled nervously at how Sanzo was looking at the purplish bruise.

"Just a bruise now, nothing serious," he said. Sanzo's nose twitched, and Hakkai wondered briefly what the blond was trying to do. He knew about social awkwardness, and he was a bit of a victim of it himself in some situations.

"And your chin?" he asked again, almost as if he were prying. Hakkai felt his mouth go dry, and he struggled to get his saliva flowing. He felt his face turn red in embarrassment at having been caught in that situation.

"I-it's fine. . . Homura just likes to. . . Scare people," he finished, turning away.

"He's always been the type to become physical when denied something," he mentioned in an afterthought.

"He's a shit bag, a manipulative shit bag," Sanzo said with narrowed eyes, looking toward the far wall. Hakkai cleared his throat and nodded.

"I would have to agree with you there," he said quietly. They stood there in silence for a moment until Sanzo looked at him again.

"The idiot . . . Gojyo wanted me to invite you to lunch again this afternoon," he said. Hakkai blinked in surprise.

"O-oh? Well, um . . . As much as I'd like to, I'm afraid it's Friday," Hakkai answered. Sanzo only stared at him as if asking with his eyes to elaborate.

"Oh, sorry I forget you're from a different precinct. Friday is the day all the detectives submit updated paperwork and evidence. I'll literally be up all afternoon and night to organize it," the brunette explained. Sanzo narrowed his eyes but nodded.

"Fine, I'll tell the idiot to reschedule or something," he said. Hakkai nodded in an unsure manner before Sanzo turned his back to him.

"See you if I see you," was all he said. Hakkai watched him leave and the security door close behind him. He watched the blond go, but he felt like Sanzo had left him clueless somehow. Not able to figure out what he was feeling Hakkai dropped those thoughts. He sat behind his desk and decided to boot up his computer instead.

"Well, no use thinking about it," he told himself. Hakkai shook his head and sighed as the ache of his bruise was giving him a headache. He put his fingers to his computer and got to work.

* * *

Throughout the whole day and continued trips to the mail room he had boxes and boxes of evidence. Boxes of paperwork were all over the floor as Hakkai typed madly at his computer. He logged, taped, tagged, dated and submitted everything before he sent it to lock up in the back room. He had email after email and submitted papers online to print and file under the correct detective and dates. Half the night was almost gone, and he could barely see the sun of the next day threatening to shine through his tiny window. When he was on his final box of papers, he began to feel dizzy. Looking at his watch, he saw it was almost around four in the morning. He shook his head and suddenly wished he had remembered to bring a lunch or at least install a coffee pot down here. He had been telling himself that for years but had never really gotten down to it.

"Oh no," he suddenly gasped. Hakkai stood shakily and quickly maneuvered around his desk. Sprinting to the bathroom, he flung the door open and landed as a heap on the floor. He hung his head over the toilet as his stomach burned and twisted into knots. He clenched his eyes against the pain threatening to disembowel him. Counting in his head, he took deep breaths and sorely regretted not eating. His stomach was empty and no doubt if he got sick, he would only produce stomach acid. He calmed slightly and continued to breathe. Sweat was coating his forehead and hands as he stood and looked at himself in the mirror.

"I'm so. . . . Ugly," he whispered to the reflection. His face seemed nearly drawn from the lack of sleep and nourishment. The skin under his eyes was purple, and the rest of him seemed almost yellow. He swallowed some saliva, and it felt like sandpaper as it went down. His tongue was swollen and he suddenly found it difficult to breathe. Exiting the bathroom, he decided to take a small break and sit in his chair. His legs gave out halfway across the room as he collapsed into a heap onto the floor. His body felt heavy as he tried to lie on his back. His eyes seemed to become heavier as the light on his ceiling swung from his impact onto the floor. The cold concrete beneath him stung his hot skin as he rested his head against it.

_So nice. . . _

He could only think about how tired he was. He had been moving every since noon of yesterday, and he just wanted to stay still.

_No more moving. . . No more papers. . . any more. . . Just want to sleep. . . _

He tried to rationalize his thinking, but his body would have none of it. He closed his eyes and finally obeyed the pull of sleep.

* * *

_Hey...Kai. . . What...W-wak...Wake...Hea...Hear...Hear me...Me?_

_W.. Wa .. . Wake u...Up!_

Green eyes dully opened when something warm touched his side. The warmth traveled up his stomach and then rested on his neck, tracing his pulse line. He could barely feel his heart beat as the soft thudding resonated inside his chest. He heard more words above him as they buzzed against his ears. He didn't move his head, but his eyes searched his surroundings.

His body felt cold, and something warm was working its way across his forehead. He remembered a time when his sister would run her fingers through his hair, the sensation calming him in the past.

He looked over his shoulder to see a pair of concerned eyes watching him. The lips above him were moving but everything Hakkai heard was like it was being sent through a filter. More voices joined the rest as it all became louder to the point where he wanted them to stop. He briefly remembered the silent movies he had been forced to watch in high school.

Hands flipped him over onto his back as a silhouette hovered over him. Hakkai gave a pain-filled groan as his back muscles cracked from being in one position for too long. He winced and clenched his teeth and eyes shooting open. His head throbbed as his sore arm tingled as if it had been sun burned.

_Hakkai. . . Kai!_

The hands shook him as the voice yelled into his ears. Long red hair swept against his face, and the smell was familiar.

"Kou. . . Kougaiji?" Hakkai whispered hoarsely, trying to blink through his mind's fog.

A pair of startled blue eyes looked him up and down. Kougaiji sat him up and carefully pulled Hakkai's doll like form against him. Kou's body was warm and Hakkai felt like he could fall asleep against it. Kougaiji looked behind him to the two people standing there watching them.

"Call an ambulance. He's in shock!" the red head yelled. Sanzo and Gojyo looked at each other before Gojyo bolted up the stairs, trench coat flying behind him. Sanzo leant down by Kougaiji's side to examine the shaking brunette. Hakkai briefly flicked his eyes to him when the sunlight from the small window caught his blond hair. As much as the brunette tried he couldn't link a name with the man he saw. The reoccurring thought of rain, for some reason, crashed like waves against his brain.

"Hakkai, Hakkai look at me! Do you understand me?" Kou continued to ask him, shaking him slightly. Hakkai's eyes were nearly dull as he regarded the other. Kougaiji's warm breath filtered over his face, and the warmth made him feel strange. Kougaiji bit his lower lip and carefully hoisted Hakkai off the floor. His friend's body was cold as he hauled him into his arms bridal style on the floor.

"Kou. . . Sleep . . . Papers are . . . Cold . . . " The brunette rambled, body limp. Sanzo frowned, and his eyes narrowed at the unmatched words and phrases.

"He hit his head when he landed on the floor," he clarified. Instead of helping though, the information seemed to anger Kougaiji.

"Forget that, be useful and get the door, I'm carrying him upstairs!" he growled. Sanzo stood back as the red head easily lifted Hakkai off the floor. Hakkai's head slipped off his shoulder and hung off his forearm. He groaned deep in his chest, and the sound made Kou nervous.

"Easy Kai, we're getting you some help," he whispered against the brunette's ear. Hakkai blinked but didn't understand the words.

"But . . . It's. . . Friday," he spoke unconsciously. Kougaiji frowned and ignored the shocked faces as he passed them to the outside. Gojyo was on his cell phone outside as an ambulance roared and pulled into the police parking lot. Hakkai could only stare as the lights flashed and Kou yelled something above him. The brunette took a breath and stilled against Kougaiji's heaving chest.

* * *

TBC


	6. The days that changed me

**Chapter 6: The days that changed me**

* * *

_Gonou. . . Gonou? Wake up silly!_

Hakkai groggily sat up to where his face had been buried in the blankets. He sat up and moved his long hair behind his ears. He adjusted his glasses and set them back correctly onto his nose. Looking over to the head of the bed, his older sister Kanan smiled at him.

"Silly, you fell asleep again!" she smiled in a scolding manner. Gonou blinked and rubbed his eyes under his glasses.

"Ah, so I have, I'm sorry, but you were sleeping when I came in," he explained. She giggled, and the sound made the brother smile. She reached toward him, and he smiled as he laced fingers with his twin.

"So how was work? Win any big cases?" she smiled, running her finger tips against his palm. Gonou smiled and shook his head in a breathless laugh.

"Kanan, I'm a paper clerk not a lawyer. I'm just the one who catalogs the evidence not shows it," he laughed. She seemed to pout, and it made her peach-colored cheeks fill out.

"That's boring; you should just go up state like Kougaiji suggested. I think it would be great! It's warmer, and the work would be more suited to you!" she explained, in earnest. Gonou shook his head and gave his sister a soft smile.

"I'm not leaving you down here alone Kanan. We were raised here; I don't want to leave it," he said. She dropped her pout and instead looked out her window. The sound of chatting nurses and visitors filtered through the hallways to the hospital rooms.

"Gonou lets go to Europe when I'm better," she asked of him. Her brother seemed surprised.

"Europe?" he asked in interest. She smiled widely at him.

"Yeah! We can go to France, Italy, and England. . . Let's make an adventure out of it! We can take pictures and eat all the exotic food!" she said in excitement.

"We can even rub elbows with the queen as we drink tea with her," Gonou smiled. Kanan laughed heartily, and her cheeks turned pink.

"Exactly! When I get better Gonou will you take me there?" she begged. Staring at her in affection Gonou tightened his hold on her hand.

"Anything you want Kanan," he smiled. She smiled back at him and beckoned him closer. He pushed his chair up further as she gently ran fingers through his hair.

"You need a haircut, but I like it this long. You should keep it this way so you can braid it-like mine," she said. Gonou snorted and shook her hand from his hair.

"I don't look very appealing with braids my dear," he said in a bit of an accent. She laughed again and instead studied his hands. She lifted his right palm up to her face and gently kissed his palm.

"I love your hands. . . Is that a weird thing to say? You have lovely hands for a guy Gonou. . . They're so soft and warm. . . " Her voice drifted off in a whisper. Gonou watched her and smiled gently.

"Thank you Kanan. . . You're warm too. Now get better so I can try a real Belgium waffle," he joked. She smiled at him, her own green eyes shining.

"Okay brother," she said softly.

Four days later though. . . Kanan died quietly in her sleep. Her twin brother was left unaware as he slept by her bed, buried face first in the sheets by her cold feet.

* * *

Hakkai woke up screaming as he flew up in his own bed. He panted as sweat trickled down his brow to collect in the collar of his hospital gown. He took deep breaths as his surroundings cleared, and he settled back against his large pillows. He looked around the room as bright sunlight made him squint, surprised at not seeing the rain for once. There was a knock on his door, and he turned his head to the sound. Sha Gojyo waved at him from the door of the room.

"Yo, you okay, I thought I heard you yell?" he asked, stepping into the room. Hakkai was still a little dazed as Gojyo grabbed a chair and set it near the head of the bed. It was a little closer than what Hakkai would have liked, but it didn't appear that Gojyo was aware of his boundary issues.

"I knew I should have let the ambulance take you two days ago. Now I feel guilty, and it's your fault; you've been out for two days," he said, sitting down with the chair backwards. The red head regarded him as he slung his arms over the back of the chair. Hakkai didn't look at him though as he spoke. Instead, he lifted his hand and felt the fresh bandage over the previous bruise he already had.

"What happened? Why am I at the . . . The . . . ," he didn't want to say the word.

"Hospital? Well, it seems it's not a good thing when you pass out for long hours on a concrete floor. Your angry friend Kou practically tried to carry you all the way here," Gojyo explained, tapping his foot against the floor. Hakkai shook his head and sighed deeply through his nose.

"He covers the concern with the anger. He'll probably chew me out to replace the feeling of concern he has. He's always been that way, ever since we were kids," he smiled though in affection. Gojyo raised an eyebrow and was about to open his mouth to talk. A cough interrupted him and they both looked at the door. Kougaiji stared almost hatefully at Gojyo as he saw how casually the red head was sitting beside his childhood friend.

"Your partner is waiting for you by the doors, I suggest you join him," he said, glaring daggers now. Gojyo huffed and laced his fingers behind his head as he sat back in his chair.

"He knows I take my time, let him smoke his cigarette," he said, shrugging his shoulders. Hakkai watched nervously as Kougaiji's fists clenched at his side.

"I'll rephrase that then. Get the hell out so I can talk to Hakkai," he hissed. Gojyo frowned and swiftly stood from the chair.

"Easy dude, no need to beat up an injured man. Last time I checked hospitals were for loving visiting acquaintances," he stressed the word loving to the other. Kou only seemed to become more aggravated though.

"Out!" he almost shouted. Hakkai watched in worry as Gojyo rolled his eyes and flashed a wink at him.

"Well I guess I'm being kicked out. Hope you feel better Kai, try to find a mattress though the next time you want to fall asleep, eh?" he joked. Gojyo paid no mind to Kougaiji's growling as he passed him and left the room. Hakkai leaned back against his pillows as Kougaiji closed the door in a huff. He went to Gojyo's abandon chair, spun it the right way back and sat down roughly.

"I'll be fine you said. . . I visited my therapist you said. . . I'm taking care of it, you said. . . It seems like everything you say is turning into bullshit Hakkai," Kougaiji growled, leaning back in his chair.

Too tired for an argument Hakkai decided to close his eyes and try to make himself comfortable in the bed. He opened them a moment later but kept them only part way open.

"Hello Kougaiji, it's good to see you too," he said softly, letting his head fall a little to the side. He could hear Kougaiji as the other fought to control his anger.

"I'm sorry it's just . . . Seeing you like that made me worried. I never expected to greet you while you were unconscious on the floor. I thought at first that . . . You were dead," he mumbled the last part. Hakkai suddenly felt a little guilty. He opened his eyes and sat up to see Kougaiji nearly hiding behind his long bangs.

"Kou, I'm sorry you saw that. I was honestly doing fine up until that night. I had been up all Friday night with files, and my body just seemed to quit on me. I've actually been sleeping quite well so. . . I'm not sure what happened," he explained. Kougaiji regarded him; mouth set in a fine line

"I'm speaking to the doctor, Hakkai. I can't trust that this is all psychological anymore. You need a real doctor, not a therapist to shoot the breeze with," his voice was hard but at the same time desperate.

"Kou-" Hakkai said, sitting up fully on his bed. The brunette winced as his back muscles protested. He made a noise of discomfort, and Kou stood up and carefully pushed him backward into the comfort of the pillows. He looked down at Hakkai then with both a mixture of worry and anger.

"No, from this day forwards Kai, we do this my way. I'm not letting my best friend kill himself with his own stupidity," he growled.

The brunette frowned as his friend stared down at him with an intensity in his blue eyes. Sighing Hakkai drooped his head and ran his fingers through his hair. He knew he could no longer avoid the inevitable. Sooner or later everything would mix into a deadly cocktail. He meekly looked up at his friend who was waiting for him to say something. The brunette shook his head and looked up fully at the other.

"All right Kougaiji, you win," he whispered.

* * *

The visit with the doctor almost made him bolt to the door. If Kougaiji hadn't had been there, then most likely he would have succeeded. Hakkai liked his space, and the doctor was destroying all of that. The man stuck his instruments in his ears and mouth; he lifted his shirt and examined him like a specimen. Every time he grew uncomfortable Kougaiji would look at him in an apology. When it all became too much, he winced away from the man examining him. It was over finally with a final blood draw, and some notes scribbled down onto paper. Hakkai didn't want to be here. He wanted to be back with the therapist. He wanted to be in that quiet room with the comfy sofa and intelligent conversation.

"Are you okay?" Kougaiji asked him when the doctor left. The brunette shook his head and trembled against his white sheets.

"No, I'm not!" he almost gasped out. His eyes felt watery, but he felt violated and a little betrayed for his friend letting this happen. Hakkai hated doctors and hospitals. It was all too personal and Hakkai treasured his privacy. Everything that had just happened with that doctor had ripped it all away. He felt naked and exposed and the hand on his back from his friend did not help in the slightest.

Kougaiji seemed to hesitate as he sat down in the chair next to the bed.

"I'm sorry; I know you hate all this but Kai; it could help you get better," he tried to explain. The brunette shook his head and stared at his trembling hands.

"Feeling violated isn't helping me Kou. It makes me anxious and I make mistakes when I'm nervous," he ground out to the other. The doctor poked his head through the door and motioned to Kou. The red head stood and sighed through his nose.

"I'll talk to the doctor. Stay and try to relax, I'll be back in a few minutes," he said. He was surprised when he heard Hakkai huff.

"Not like I'm going anywhere in this damn trap," he said quietly. Kougaiji walked to the door and closed it behind him. He faced the doctor as the man regarded his clipboard.

"Your friend has long-standing damage from the chronic insomnia. His condition seems much more normal then previous patients I've had though. His blood sugar is low, and his weight could be better. I noticed discoloration near his eyes and stomach but other than that he should control his weight better. He needs more vitamins since he lacks major and much-needed body fat. He doesn't have allergies or diabetes, so I'm going to recommend a very strong dose to him. It should help him fall asleep and stay asleep," the man advised. Kougaiji nodded and crossed his arms.

"What's going to happen to him if he continues to lack sleep?" he asked. He knew he wouldn't like the answer, but he needed to know.

"He risks the shortening of his lifespan. He's more likely for memory loss and depression. He could develop diabetes and weight loss, heart problems, poor immune system and much more prone to accidents. It's worrisome but exhaustion has led to death in sleep deprived individuals," the doctor noted. Kougaiji felt his pulse pick up.

He could die? Just from not sleeping?

Kougaiji nodded and stopped crossing his arms.

"All right, what is this medicine?" He asked.

* * *

Hakkai spent two more days in the hospital before he was released. The doctor introduced his medicine, and he took it the first night. They kept him, making sure the medication wouldn't harm him or cause side effects. Satisfied, they scheduled his release for the next day. Surprisingly, Gojyo and Sanzo stopped by, having also been the ones to find him on the floor. He felt embarrassed to be seen in a hospital bed, but they paid it-no mind. Sanzo seemed to be a little nicer as Gojyo joked around and flirted with every nurse who came through the door. When the red head mentioned the word sponge bath though, Sanzo whacked him upside the head. Hakkai watched them and inwardly laughed at their banter.

Kougaiji put him on sick leave. Hakkai had never taken a day off since he started working so his earned time off slot was full. . . Very full. Kou put his friend on paid leave and told him not to come back until he was well enough to work again. It also helped that Kou had made the doctor write up a pretty worthy doctor slip, not that he really needed it.

When the time came to go home, it was Gojyo that offered him a ride. Hakkai took the offer, and the red head helped him into his apartment.

"Did you want me to carry you across the threshold?" he joked as he opened the door. Hakkai actually chuckled as he walked through the door with his duffel bag.

"No thank you; I'll wait for the body building bride my fortune cookie recommended to me," he joked back. For some reason, being around Gojyo made him feel comfortable. The other man was easy to talk to and seemed to have an open mind. It took a while for him to get used to Gojyo's actions though, he tended not to look before he leapt per say. Hakkai dropped his bag off in his room as Gojyo observed his place and whistled. Hakkai watched the red head nod his head as he observed the furniture and large view windows.

"Holy crap, all this under a paper pusher's salary? Man, I'll hide in a basement if I can afford all this!" he smiled at the brunette. Hakkai coughed as his cheeks turned a little pink. The green-eyed man walked over to his kitchen as Gojyo approached his entertainment center and looked at all the DVDs there.

"N-no, actually paper pusher is more of a hobby. I can afford this place because well. . . I save my money, mostly. I also invest and write articles for college textbooks," he said. Hakkai went to his fridge to prepare something for his guest. Gojyo took off his coat and shoes and let his toes sink into the carpet.

"Hmm . . . Damn that's nice," he purred. Hakkai nearly choked on his laughter as he stuck his head into his fridge. Watching Gojyo reminded him of something he had watched on the channel where animals made weird noises during a mating dance or something. He emerged from the fridge with some beer, and Gojyo's eyes lit up like Christmas bulbs.

"You sir, are a most gracious host," he smiled, walking over.

"Why don't you watch TV or something; I just need to make a quick phone call," Hakkai explained. The red head shrugged and walked over to his couch.

"Sure, I was going to catch a game score anyway," he smiled with a wink.

Hakkai nodded and walked toward his bedroom. Picking up his home phone by the bed, he walked to the bathroom to put away his pills. As he talked to his therapist about rescheduling his visits, he stared at them. They were small green pills with a microscopic blue line running through the middle of them. They were small and Hakkai was thankful; he hated swallowing pills. He set the bottle in the cabinet above the toilet and went back to talk on the phone. He said good-bye to his therapist and sighed, rubbing his forehead. He entered the living room to see Gojyo staring in confusion at the static on his TV.

"Oh damn, I forgot my cable is out. I'm sorry Gojyo; I forgot to call the guy today," Hakkai apologized. Gojyo stared at him with the remote in his hand.

"How long has it been out?" He asked, setting the remote back onto the coffee table.

"Three weeks," Hakkai answered. Gojyo froze, and his mouth fell open for the brunette.

"Say what-Wait. . . You don't watch TV very often do you?" he said instead. Hakkai's cheeks turned a little pink at that statement. His eyes wandered around his apartment, and Gojyo just suddenly noticed all the books he had on the shelves near the large view windows.

"Oh .. . . Sorry, never picked up a book unless you include magazines," he shrugged. Hakkai laughed and went to his kitchen to get some tea. He handed Gojyo another beer and sat next to him on his leather couch. Rain pounded the windows as a streak of thunder struck the sky.

"Well Sanzo will be staying home today. He hates the rain; he's like a cat," the red head smirked. Hakkai looked out the windows.

"It has been going for quite some time. I'm surprised the city isn't flooded by now," he said, sipping his hot tea. Gojyo hummed in his throat as he sipped his beer. He relaxed against the couch and suddenly smiled.

"This place of yours is nice. It's very. . . Homey, comfortable," he said, letting his fingers make circles in the air. Hakkai gave a small breathless laugh.

"You're welcome any time; I owe you and Sanzo both for ah. . . Finding me," he said in embarrassment, looking away.

"Hey man, don't worry about it. There is just some shit out there you can't control. Sometimes it's your health and often it's not. But anyway, what got Kougaiji's panties in a twist? He didn't yell at you after I left did he?" Gojyo asked him with a raised eyebrow. Hakkai shook his head but sipped his tea. He watched the steam rise from the cup and vanished into the air of the room.

"He was worried mostly . . . He becomes angry when he's worried," Hakkai explained, tracing the rim of his tea cup. Gojyo watched as the brunette's finger traced the edge of the cup.

"Yeah . . . You said that about a million times, but he seems more like he's . . . An ass. . . An overprotective ass. He wouldn't let me or Sanzo come near you in the ambulance ride. Usually people only act that way when . . . They're together," Gojyo smirked, wiggling his eyebrows. Hakkai nearly spat out his tea. He faced Gojyo, who was now staring at him in an closely leering manner.

"So. . . . ? Are you two an…Item? Not that I'm judging or anything," he asked now with an even wider smile. Hakkai shook his head rapidly, and for some reason, it made Gojyo break out into laughter. The sound carried around the apartment, and it made Hakkai's pulse quicken.

"N-no! No. . . . It's not that! Kougaiji is more like . . . Ah. . . Well, he's my . . . " He rambled, looking over all around the apartment. Gojyo watched in amusement as Hakkai seemed to struggle for words. The brunette sighed a moment later and rubbed the back of his neck, looking at him with pink cheeks. Gojyo was a little taken off guard by the look.

"We've been friends since we were children. He used to come over to my house and stay whenever he got into an argument with his parents. I wasn't exactly a. . . . Built child. I was rather small so. . . . Everybody used to pick on me. Kou was always helping me and chasing off bullies. We even went to the same college after high school. When we graduated, he was the one who got me the job at the station as an evidence clerk," he explained.

Gojyo had leant back fully now on the leather couch. The other man was so long his feet almost touched Hakkai's thigh. When Hakkai had first moved into the apartment, the couch had been already sitting there. He thought it awfully big for just one person and often only curled on the right end in front of the television. For years, the left side of his couch had gone unused, fluffed and left normal. The first time he had fallen asleep on it though, he had re-thought about it. He wasn't very tall, so he liked to stretch out on it, but he barely went past the middle cushion. He was glad he kept the couch; it suited Gojyo just fine and his lanky frame. Hakkai briefly wondered if Gojyo had been a model before he had become a police detective, his built seemed to suit such a profession.

_And his looks. . . _

"Sounds like one of those one-sided kinds of things," Gojyo said, sipping from his beer. Hakkai broke from his thoughts and shrugged as he sipped at his tea again.

"He's like this because I lost my sister five years ago to sickness. She was my twin, so we. . . We were always together. I imagine . . . Kougaiji must think I'm lonely still," he whispered, lowering his tea cup slightly.

"Oh, sorry man didn't mean to pry," Gojyo said holding his hands up and looking apologetic. Hakkai looked at him with a small smile and a shake of his head. The action caused his bangs to fall in front of his eyes, so he moved them behind his ears. He briefly noticed Gojyo's eyes go to the now fading bruise on his forehead.

"No, it's all right. Actually. . . I must be boring you terribly with such personal things," the brunette said, also looking apologetic.

"Nah, I've heard more boring shit in the precinct meetings. Besides it's good to vent ya know? It's like free therapy when you talk to somebody. Course I can never get a word out of Sanzo so it's like dry humping a wall or something . . . I. . . Damn sorry Kai, mind if I smoke in here? I've been itching for one for hours now," Gojyo said, running his fingers through his scalp. Hakkai blinked in realization and jumped from the couch.

"Oh yes! Sorry I forgot that you smoke. Where are they? I'll get them," he offered. Gojyo smiled in appreciation and pointed to his coat over by the door. Hakkai retrieved a packet of Marlboro's and silver Zippo and handed them to Gojyo. He took it with a wink and easily flipped open the cigarette box. He stuck one between his lips and stuffed the packet into his front shirt pocket.

"So did the doctor say what was wrong? I mean, why you passed out?" Gojyo asked, lighting up. Hakkai watched him light the stick before setting his lighter on the coffee table. Hakkai was silent for a moment as he watched the cigarette smoke rise into the air. He was careful of his breathing, but he didn't mind the smell, after all everyone at the station practically smoked.

"It's part of the reason Kougaiji is so protective. I...Well I have um. . . Insomnia," he said, still not looking at the other. Gojyo made a sound and let out a puff of smoke, scratching his chin.

"What, you lack sleep? A good night's rest will fix that," Gojyo said, pointing his cigarette toward Hakkai's bedroom door.

"Chronic Insomnia issues I should say. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in almost . . . Twenty years," he said.

Gojyo froze and stared at him. His red eyes were wide as Hakkai watched him calmly albeit with a sad smile.

"You don't sleep. . . At all?" He asked in disbelief. Hakkai nodded sadly and faced away from him.

"Kougaiji thinks I could drop dead at any moment in time. . . And the truth being is . . . He might be right," he said in an afterthought. Gojyo tilted his head and put his cigarette back into his mouth.

"Well. . . That explains a lot," he said, smiling sheepishly.

"Hmm, why is that?" Hakkai asked facing him.

"I kinda overheard Kou talking to the doctor. He looked worried and I was down the hall getting some coffee," Gojyo shrugged casually. The brunette narrowed his eyes but didn't look angry.

"You mean you were eavesdropping?" Hakkai corrected him. Gojyo seemed to turn pink a little at being caught. Hakkai gave a breathless chuckle toward him.

"So even you aren't as smooth as you make yourself out to be, hmm?" he continued to laugh. Gojyo gave him a look and took a longer drag on his cigarette.

"Shut up," he joked, flicking his ashes into his empty beer can.

Hakkai set down his tea and was surprised a moment later to hear Gojyo's stomach growl. The other made a noise and coughed in embarrassment.

"Whoops, knew I forgot something today," he said. Hakkai laughed after the tense silence.

"What would you like? It would be rude not to feed you after you took me home and kept me company for so long," the green-eyed man said, standing from the couch.

"Well if you insist, being such a gentleman and all. . . Got any meat?" he asked eagerly. Hakkai smiled at his large grin, and it made his eyes shine.

"I'll see what I can whip up," he said, going into the kitchen.

* * *

Forty minutes later, Gojyo was in heaven.

"Oh .. . . My . . . God. . . " Gojyo purred, slipping the still sizzling chunk of meat into his mouth.

They now sat at the hard wood table a few feet from the kitchen island. Hakkai sat with his own plate and a red face as Gojyo's eyes rolled into his head. Hakkai had gone through his freezer and found some strip steaks he had bought on sale two days previous. He grilled them up with some onions, spices, garlic butter and threw in some carrots. He used up some left-over potato wedges and fried them up with some paprika. He hadn't cooked since Goku left and hoped Gojyo didn't mind the throw together. Cooking had always been his hobby, and he was proud to admit that he was very good.

Gojyo looked like he was ready to orgasm on the spot. . . Guess he didn't mind the throw together after all.

"I don't think I've ever had a steak this decent!" he moaned around another mouthful. Hakkai watched as the other man lopped a excellent heap of onions on the next bite.

"T-Thank you?" he asked, a little scared at how fast Gojyo was eating. Hakkai took a bite of his own first helping as Gojyo picked another steak onto his plate.

"I should get Sanzo to eat your cooking, might loosen his blond ass up!" Gojyo talked with a full mouth. The brunette chewed slowly, still fascinated at the speed in which Gojyo ate.

"He doesn't eat like you do . . . Does he?" he couldn't help but ask. Gojyo shook his head somehow while managing to eat. Hakkai ate slowly while Gojyo seemed to inhale the meal in front of him. He only looked up once he was finished to see Hakkai staring at him in awe.

"What?" he asked, completely unaware of his behavior. Hakkai raised his hand and laughed behind it.

"I'm sorry . . . It's just you eat like someone I know. He lived in this building since he was little, and he always came over for meals. You eat like he does, and I guess I . . . Miss it in a way," he said. Gojyo took a sip of his beer but his eyes never left Hakkai.

"An old boyfriend?" he asked. Hakkai sputtered on his own beer and blushed.

"N-no . . . More like a child I adopted as my little brother. He left for college last week, and I wonder when I'll see him again . . . If ever," he added looking away. Gojyo set down his beer and tapped the brunette on the shoulder from across the table.

"Hey, don't look so down, I'm sure the kid will be back eating you out of house and home in no time. Until then, I'll take over for the kid if you want," he smiled impishly. Hakkai smiled and shook his head, collecting their empty plates.

"Every home owners dream," he said.

* * *

Hakkai wrapped the rest of the stake up and sent it with Gojyo. The red head left with a smile and told Hakkai to get some rest. For the first time in days Hakkai felt tired but not ready to go to bed. He decided to take his medication and sit and read on the couch until it kicked in. The clock on the wall read almost seven as he sat down with one of his favorite thrillers. He propped himself against the arm of his couch and decided to sip some more tea. The clock had barely struck eight and Hakkai accidentally fell asleep against the couch pillows. His book dropped to the floor with a dull thud as thunder once again lit up the sky. His green eyes opened only briefly but not from being awake. They dulled out and finally closed as the rain beat against the window glass.

He was out.

* * *

TBC


	7. So much more to it

**Chapter 7: So much more to it**

* * *

_Rain fell against his face as he faced the sky. Hues of blue and orange danced across his eye lids as he breathed the air. He choked and coughed, lowering his head and ducking. He coughed until the soft wetness turned scratchy and rough. He opened his eyes and instead of water saw earth. Papers floated all around him, gathering in heaps across the floor. He stared in confusion as ink-covered parcels hit the floor. He looked everywhere as shelves were toppled over and a computer was smashed against the wall. He could only stare as the sky disappeared and a single light fixture swung in place above his head._

* * *

Hakkai awoke blinking furiously with a dry mouth and a clogged nasal passage. He sat up from his position on the couch and looked around. It was still dark out, rain pounding the windows even harder than before. He sat up and noticed his book had landed on the floor. As he picked it up, he looked to the wall clock and narrowed his eyes.

_2:44 a.m._

He swallowed his excess saliva and stood on shaky legs. His stomach suddenly cramped and with a yell, he grabbed his abdomen. He groaned in pain as spikes seemed to pinch every wall in his gut. He got dizzy and simply fell back onto the couch. He panted as the cramps passed, and he was left feeling very empty. He got up again slowly and carefully walked to the bathroom. He turned the taps on his tub and waited for it to fill. He sat on the washing machine, watching as steam filled the room. When the tub was ready, he stripped and carefully slid in. He sighed as the heat lapped against his flesh, instantly swept in a wave of relief. He relaxed back into the water, letting it roll over him in literal waves. He opened his eyes as he set his legs up on the edges of the tub and crossed his arms loosely over his stomach.

He very faintly ran his finger tips across his collar bone, feeling the skin trickle in its wake. He suddenly thought of Goku and wondered how the boy was doing. He thought of Gojyo and how he must be back at his own apartment sleeping off the large meal he ate. Hakkai laughed when he mentally imagined Gojyo midnight snacking on the left overs, he brought home. He couldn't remember the last time he had someone come over just to chat. He felt like he had actually made a friend in Gojyo. Sanzo though might be a little harder too win over, not that he was prying, but he would like to get to know the blond as well. After all, he was Gojyo's partner. He had also been the one to visit him while Hakkai had stayed at the hospital. He didn't talk much, but he would glare at Gojyo or hit him when he was being crude or flirting with the nurses.

He shook his head and sank down further into the tub.

"Papers . . . Why would I have a dream about papers?" He asked himself, sloshing water over his arms. He washed his face and legs before getting out of the tub.

* * *

Hakkai couldn't fall asleep after his bath. He tried but all he could do was glare at the ceiling of his bedroom. He gave up two hours in and decided to get some coffee going. Now that he was on paid leave, he would need to find things to keep him busy. The TV needed fixing, and he needed to clean the fridge. Maybe he could finish that one article he started or think about buying curtains to block out the endless scenery of rain and thunder. He was surprised to hear his home phone ring as he sat up from his bed, pushing the covers off his legs. He looked to the electric clock to see that it was almost five in the morning. He picked up the phone and held it to his ear.

"Hello, Cho Gonou speaking?" he asked.

_"Hakkai,"_ the voice said.

"Kougaiji? It's rather early, is everything okay?" Hakkai asked in concern, getting up from the bed. He heard a stifled snuff on the other end.

_"That should be my line. Did you manage to get any sleep or. . .?"_ his voice asked.

"Ah, well I took that little pill. . . I slept from about, eight to almost three in the morning. That's about seven or eight hours roughly," Hakkai said. He heard Kou on the other side sigh.

_"It's better than nothing. Hakkai, I need to speak with you about something. Would it be all right if I stopped by around seven?"_ he asked. Hakkai walked around his apartment as he talked on the phone.

"Of course, I'll have breakfast ready like we're back in college," he laughed. He heard Kou laugh at the other side of the phone.

_"Sounds good, don't forget the coffee."_

* * *

Hakkai had changed into fresh clothes by the time Kou arrived at his place. It was a little past seven and Hakkai smiled at his friend as he took his coat.

"What brings you here so early?" Hakkai asked. Kou smoothed back his red hair as he turned toward his green-eyed friend. Hakkai couldn't help but admire how long Kou's hair had gotten. The other man had always kept it long, never remembering a time it wasn't. Years of police work sculpted him, muscle upon muscle lining his frame. He was built from the neck down but not bulky. He was healthy and lean and just nice to look at. Hakkai thought indeed the woman Kou chose would be very lucky. Hakkai did feel a pinch of worry though when Kougaiji walked over and gave him a one-armed hug.

"I thought the earlier the better. Besides, you're the only person I know who is up before seven in the morning," he clarified. Hakkai led his friend to the table and got him some coffee.

"I hope you don't mind the usual breakfast. I was going to make waffles, but I couldn't find any batter," he said. Hakkai smiled when his friend looked like he was about to drool all over the food. He knew Kougaiji to be more of a morning eater then a day eater. It was nice also to see his friend drop his guard around him. The red head never acted like his true self when he was at work or in front of other people.

A few minutes of breakfast went by and Kou suddenly put down his fork.

"I missed your cooking," he said almost sadly. Hakkai stopped eating his toast and looked at his friend.

"It has been a while hasn't it? You've . . . No, we've both been so busy for what feels like years. Ever since the Rainy Day case started, we've only been able to eat diner lunches," the brunette said, pouring some orange juice.

"Yeah but it's not your own cooking," Kou commented quietly.

"I thought your sister could cook?" Hakkai asked. He knew the little girl was a little loud though, in a way he was reminded of Goku.

"She tried but, well, I just got sick of getting a new stove every week," he said, raising an eyebrow at the other.

"Yes, that does sound expensive," Hakkai replied. Kougaiji sipped his coffee and gave the other a once over.

"I hope the pills work out for you. He gave you a month's supply and some cream for under your eyes," he commented. Hakkai didn't want to, but he guessed Kou wanted to talk about his insomnia again.

"Does the conversation always have to be about me? I wish you would talk about yourself more," he said lightly, biting some of his toast.

"I worry because you're all I have left besides Lirin. Kai, this is serious; it's your health," Kou said almost roughly.

"You've been talking about my health for years. It's all you talked about when we were kids and even in college. Just stop already! That's half the reason why I didn't live in the same dorm as you!" Hakkai said roughly back. Kou narrowed his eyes and Hakkai suddenly felt guilty. He looked away and took a breath.

"I'm sorry that was rude," he apologized. Kougaiji shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. His blue eyes were steely as he looked at the brunette.

"Hakkai . . . You're practically my brother. What am I supposed to do? Sit back and wait for you to fall asleep behind the wheel? Wait until I get a call saying you passed out and died of falling down some stairs? I can't help it, and Kai . . . I just can't!" He almost yelled. What had turned into a quiet breakfast had gone into a personal discussion.

"Kougaiji I . . . Ah!" Hakkai jumped back as his elbow hit his drink. The juice dropped off the table and spilled all over his pants. Kou jumped up to help, but Hakkai held up a hand.

"Its fine, I'll clean it up," he interjected. Kou grabbed his arm though and pushed him toward his room.

"Go on and change, I'll pick it up; it's my fault anyway," he said. Hakkai hesitated but shook his head with a sigh.

"All right, I'll be right back," he said. Kougaiji watched him go, and he bit his lip. He looked to the dropped cup and then outside to the windows. He took deep steadying breaths and clenched his fists at his side.

"Fuck . . . Just . . . Fuck it all," he whispered.

Turning toward Hakkai's room, he could see the other's silhouette through the doorway. He watched Hakkai's shadow as the other took off his pajama pants and slipped into something else. Kou ignored the glass and made his decision. He turned away from the windows and followed Hakkai into his room.

* * *

Hakkai sighed as he searched his closet for another pair of pants. He moved around his room and all he could think about was the previous conversation. He was mad but at the same time he felt like he needed to set the other straight. He was sick of his condition getting in the way and being the main focus of their friendship.

He heard feet move across the carpet toward him, and he panicked a little. He quickly pulled on his pants, thinking Kou wanted to yell at him and get something off his chest at that moment. He sighed and crossed his arms over his abdomen. He turned to Kou when he other pulled his bedroom door open all the way, letting it hit the wall with a small bang. Hakkai tried to look calm, but he must have appeared nervous. Kou approached him quickly, and Hakkai opened his mouth to speak.

He never got that far.

Kougaiji grabbed his hips and pressed his mouth hard against Hakkai's.

Hakkai almost fell back if it wasn't for the hands on his hips. He moaned in surprise as Kougaiji tilted his head, intending to make the kiss deeper. Hakkai opened his mouth in his shock, and his friend's tongue went in. The tongue tasted him and wrapped around his own, running over teeth and gums. He twisted in the hold, setting his hands-on Kougaiji's broad chest. They continued to kiss as Kou's hands moved from his hips to the back of his thighs near his ass. Hakkai broke the kiss and stared incredulously at his friend. Kou watched him with his hard blue eyes as he leaned close and rested their foreheads together.

"Kai, would you be angry if I said I wanted to sleep with you?" he asked him, eyes going to half mast. Hakkai gaped and blinked in confusion.

"Kougaiji, what are you doing?" he asked, voice slightly strangled. Kou didn't answer, but he drew the other into a tight hug.

"Kai, Lirin is sick, really sick," he said. Hakkai went rigid against him but remained silent. He set his own trembling hands on his friend's back and felt the muscles there shake.

"I got promoted yesterday, they want to transfer me to another state, and I don't know when I'll be back. This new job could help put Lirin in a good hospital. I don't know when I'll be capable to see you again, if I'll be able to see you another time. Hell, your health could win and this could be the last time I really get to talk to you," Kou's tight voice almost croaked out. Hakkai's eyes misted over, and he pulled back to look at his childhood friend's face. Kou's eyes almost seemed solid and lined with false hope. The brunette reached up and traced the strong lines of Kougaiji's face.

"I'm sorry; I had no idea," he breathed against Kou's tan skin.

"Kai, a part of me has always loved you. Ever since we were kids you were the only one who understood me. When you lost Kanan, I wanted to be everything for you, but I had to support Lirin since my parents left us. When I saw you passed out at the station, I hated myself for not letting you know how I felt sooner. So before I go, please, let me be with you, I want you to feel how I feel about you," he said softly to the other. Hakkai felt his heart pulse as Kou gently traced the back of his thigh with his hand. His nails scrapped against his jeans as he let his palm run across the globe of his backside. Kou leaned forward and boldly settled his mouth on the skin below Hakkai's ear.

The brunette gasped and closed his eyes as a tongue worked over the spot. His legs trembled as he struggled to get the words out.

"Kougaiji . . . I could never deny you anything. I just wish I knew sooner. . . " He gasped as Kou bit down gently on the spot. Kou made a noise and used his other hand to trace Hakkai's stomach.

"I was going to ask you to come with me. I wanted to be selfish, but I knew you would never leave the city you and Kanan had grown up in," he whispered against the now bruised skin. Hakkai gasped and closed his eyes. The hand on his stomach crawled upward and gently ran over one of his nipples. The brunette choked and opened his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered back. Kougaiji though shook his head.

"There is nothing to be sorry for. . . Just. . . Just let me love you right now," he said.

Hakkai felt a bubble of desire grow in his stomach. The feeling of a much larger man pressing against him made him quiver. Goku wasn't small in stature, but he wasn't a full-grown man either. The way Kougaiji pressed himself between his legs made him wonder what all that muscle was capable of doing. Kou kissed him and Hakkai only held a hint of nervousness as that tongue groped his mouth again. The red head's hands grabbed his sides as the brunette grabbed the sides of Kou's face. After a few moments, both pulled back and Hakkai shivered at the intensity in that pair of steel blue eyes.

"Get undressed," he almost ordered.

The words shot straight-through Hakkai, and it made him shiver. Gently, Hakkai reached for his shirt and slowly raised it above his waist. His hands trembled as his lifted it over his head and up and off his torso. Kou's breathing deepened as he stared at Hakkai's chest. He reached for his own shirt and unbuttoned the garment. Hakkai watched as more and more tan skin was revealed. Kou threw his shirt roughly to the side and grabbed Hakkai's forearms. He pulled the other close and stared into his eyes.

"Have you ever been with a man Hakkai?" he asked almost seductively. Hakkai suddenly felt nervous; would his friend be angry if he knew?

"I have but . . . I've never. . . " Hakkai coughed and motioned downwards with his eyes. Hoping Kou would get the meaning. The other, hummed and traced his lips with his own, making them tingle.

"You've just never had anyone inside you. . . I'll be the first?" he whispered. Hakkai nodded shakily and closed his eyes.

"Yeah. . . Yes. . . So, please. . . Be gentle," he asked of his friend.

Kou made a noise of conformation and kissed him gently.

"I will," he said back.

He nudged Hakkai backwards with his hips and made him sit on the bed. Hakkai looked up at Kou and blushed. Kougaiji reached for his zipper and undid it slowly, eyes never leaving the man under him. He slipped them down and off, kicking them to the side of the room. Hakkai swallowed when Kou bent down and set his hands on the sides of the brunette's hips. He kissed him tenderly as he pushed him backward, moving him farther on the bed. Hakkai raised his hands and threaded them through long hair. Kou almost purred as he gently kissed Hakkai's collarbone.

"Touch me," Kou asked of him. Hakkai's breathing became harder as he felt Kou's erection through his boxers. His trembling hand reached between them and cupped the bulge slowly rising up through the material. Hands worked at his jeans as the button was undone and a fly came down. The brunette gasped as a bold hand cupped him and started to massage. Hakkai jerked against his friend and took a deep breath. Using one hand, Kou reached for his boxers and slid them down. Hakkai watched as the garment descended down built tan thighs. Throwing them to the floor Kou sat on his knees and grabbed Hakkai's hand.

"Jerk me off," he purred to the man below him. Hakkai's face flushed as his stomach trembled. He reached forward and gently grasped Kou's erection, pressing it against his stomach. He watched in fascination as the muscles of Kou's stomach smoothed out.

"It's so hot. . . " Hakkai whispered not looking at the other. Attentively he moved his hand up and down, simply feeling the skin in his hand. Kou groaned and moved his hips to Hakkai's touches.

"Harder," he husked. The brunette nodded and sat up slightly, using both his hands now. He grasped the base and squeezed gently while his other hand stroked the shaft and the head. Kou leaned down slightly and licked the skin of Hakkai's shoulder.

"Faster," he breathed against his ear lobe. Hakkai bit his lip as a tongue followed, and he moved his hands faster. He squeezed and pulled and massaged the silky skin in his possession. Kou moved his hips and made grunts and moans. When Kou gave two rapid twitches of his hips, he came in Hakkai's hold. The red head sighed and groaned.

"Fuck . . . Hakkai," he gasped. The brunette blushed at the amount of liquid that coated his fingers. He slowly pulled them backward and chose to wipe them on his jeans. Kou pulled back and gently grasped the sides of his head. He leaned down for a kiss as he traced Hakkai's chest with his trembling fingers.

"I need lube," he said. Hakkai nodded and gently moved Kou backward.

"Under the bed," he whispered. Kou leant down and reached an arm under the mattress. He searched for a moment and smirked as he found a small blue vial. He gently chuckled as the label red vanilla flavored. Hakkai blushed when the other looked at him. Goku had brought it the second day they were intimate. Remembering in the throes of passion that he had knocked it off the bed and left it there on their last day together. Kou uncapped it and lifted it to his nose.

"Take off your pants," he said. Hakkai nervously grasped the edge of his jeans. He raised his knees and slipped the denim down his hips. Kou watched in arousal as Hakkai removed the pants and sent them to the floor. He breathed deep and gently ran his hand on the inside of Hakkai's thigh.

"Kai. . . You're beautiful," he breathed. He coaxed Hakkai back and lay on top of him. Hakkai blushed harder as Kou's hand reached up farther and traced the skin between his globes. The feeling of hard muscle against his skin made him tremble, and a shot of pleasure curled around his spine. He closed his eyes when lips traced his neck and another hand gently skimmed over his own heated arousal.

"Kou. . . " He moaned as he was fisted. They kissed heatedly as Hakkai wrapped his arms around his friend's neck. Kou coated his fingers with the lube and rubbed them to get them warm. Hakkai only stalled for a moment in surprise as those fingers went under his scrotum and gently probed his virgin entrance. He made a slight noise and raised his hips as Kou slid a finger all the way into the knuckle.

"Shh, I'll go slowly," Kou calmed him. Hakkai made a small whimper and noises as that finger moved and probed. It rubbed against his walls, and he could feel every inch of the digit stretch him. Kou leaned down and licked his right nipple as he turned one finger into two. Hakkai spread his legs a little more and rested his head on his pillow. His fingers tangled in Kou's hair, petting it and tugging on the scalp.

"It feels. . . Strange," he stuttered. Hakkai closed his eyes and clenched his teeth when Kou shoved them in deeper. The brunette panted and raised his hips to the slow rhythm. A hard suck on his nipple caused him to buck, making the fingers stab something deep inside him. He was suddenly aware of the large body on top of him, coaxing every little reaction from him.

"Ah. . . Ahh!" Hakkai arched in Kougaiji's hold. The red head groaned in approval and smirked into Hakkai's skin.

"That's it. . . That's what I want," he purred against Hakkai's skin. The brunette cried out as Kou sat up and moved his fingers harder into Hakkai's entrance. The brunette cried out and twisted his body. Kougaiji watched him in fascination and breathed harder. He felt his erection rise up, and he pressed it into Hakkai's thigh.

"Kai, shit . . . I won't last," he rasped out. Hakkai's own arousal became too much. He whimpered and groaned the more Kou's fingers worked him, pressing that spot and causing his stomach muscles to jump. He had never felt something like this before. Just from that one spot even the pulse rate of his heart seemed to be controlled.

"I-I'm gonna cum. . . " Hakkai begged in a weak voice. He rode the feeling as fingers soothed his walls, making his toes and fingers curl into the bed spread. Kougaiji quickly pulled his fingers out, leaving Hakkai panting and wanting. He reached for the lube and generously coated his cock, letting some of the liquid fall to the blankets. Hakkai watched him through watery eyes and felt his own arousal about to burst. He reached toward his childhood friend and the other tightly held him in an embrace.

"Kou. . . I can't take it; I want you. . . I. . . I need you," he panted against the other's ear. Hakkai had never felt such an overwhelming sense of need. His entire body burned and buzzed at every place Kou touched him. He panted and blushed the more Kou looked and touched at his body. Kou's erection stood proudly between his tan thighs as he stared down at him in hunger. As steely blue eyes watched him, Hakkai thought his own body in comparison was pale and much leaner than Kou's. Those thoughts were thrown aside as Kou's hands reached under his ass to pull him up and into his lap.

"I'm going to do it in one thrust Kai, are you ready?" he panted out himself. Hakkai's chest rubbed against Kou's own. He could feel that heavy erection as it prodded his entrance, waiting to be submerged. He bit his lip and moved his hips a little, rubbing his now red cock against his friend's abs

"Y-yes," he swallowed.

Kou's eyes met his own as fingers dug into the back of his thighs to hold him upright and steady. Gently, Kou spread the mounds of flesh and started to lower Hakkai down. The initial break was maddening as much as it hurt. Hakkai tried to stay relaxed as something large broke through the first layer of muscle in his backside. He made a noise but couldn't escape gravity as it lowered him down onto Kou's manhood. He whimpered and cried as one brutal thrust sent him all the way down and made him stay rooted. Hakkai's finger nails dug into Kou's back as the other man grunted from the treatment. The brunette tried to loosen his hold but literal fire jumped up his spine, causing a wave of tears to flow from the corners of his eyes.

"I'm sorry. . . It was too fast," Kou panted with his head on Hakkai's shoulder.

The pain was overwhelming as his muscles struggled to relax against the intrusion. Hakkai panted and cried as he squirmed to put Kou's cock in a more comfortable position.

"Don't move yet, let me. . . Place you," Kou soothed.

Hakkai trembled all over as the hands on his ass stroked his back. Hakkai wanted to wrap his legs around his friend but Kou had other ideas. Reaching past him his friend grabbed a thick pillow and propped it against Hakkai's lower back. He laid the brunette down, and Hakkai felt his hips go up as his back and head went down. When he was flat on his back, hips elevated did Kou look him in the eye. He brought his hands up, and fingered Hakkai's bangs with tender affection.

"Are you all right?" he asked. Hakkai wanted to say no, but he didn't want to stop. He squirmed in place as grit his teeth as some fresh tears gathered at the corners of his eyes.

"I'm okay. . . Just. . . Let me adjust," he begged. Kou nodded and moved his arms. He grabbed the back of Hakkai's knees and propped them up and over his forearms. The brunette was completely exposed to him. Kougaiji was left staring in hunger at the sight of his own cock sinking into his best friend's entrance.

"I won't move until you're ready," he whispered back to the trembling brunette.

Hakkai panted as he lowered his hands from Kou's back to the sheets. He clenched and unclenched his fingers as the red head's erection pulsed inside him. The feeling of being so filled was overwhelming. He never imagined he could feel so vulnerable but at the same time so relaxed and passionate. To be connected to another body made him lightheaded and eager. He relaxed around the intrusion and gave Kou a small smile.

"I-I'm all right; you can start," he rasped out. Kougaiji nodded and kissed his forehead.

"Hold on to me," he instructed.

Kou gently snapped his hips forward and made a sound in the back of his throat. Hakkai gasped and reached up to grab at Kou's forearms. They loved against each other, nothing being hurried and all of it strictly feeling nothing but bliss. Kou panted as he continued to move nothing but his hips. Using the muscles in his back and arms, he increased the pressure, although the thrusts themselves were unhurried. Hakkai tilted his head back as leisurely but raw power rammed inside him. He gave a breathless plea every time the long organ inside him speared his prostate, making him see stars. He looked up to see Kou's eyes closed in concentration. The muscles in his neck jumped every time he snapped his hips forward. Hakkai was amazed at the man above him. He had known Kou for years, always knew what type of person he was. To see this side of his friend Hakkai felt happy and safe within the other's arms.

"Kougaiji, please. . . Faster," he begged. Kou opened his eyes and smiled down at him.

"You got it," he purred. Hakkai gave a small laugh that turned into a choked moan a moment later. Kou moved in him harder, causing the bed to squeak. Sunlight came through the window, dancing across Hakkai's stomach and Kou's back. They moved together, and Hakkai made sounds that he never knew he could make. Kou leaned over him, causing Hakkai's legs to open more as their lovemaking became faster. Kou grunted and started to steadily move inside the brunette.

"Fuck . . . Fuck!" Kou grunted as he slammed his hips forward. Hakkai arched when a certain thrust made him clench his teeth. He cried out and reached up to grab Kou's shoulder blades of his back.

"Don't stop!" he begged out. Kou shook his head and leaned down to kiss Hakkai.

"I won't. . . I won't ever stop!" he rasped out. The two moaned into the room as their peaks started to surface. Hakkai felt the pressure built in the base of his cock and spread to the place where Kou was connected to his body. It stirred and looped in his stomach, making him sweat and crave to finish. Kou's thrusts became erratic, no long smooth but more to the intent to finish. Hakkai felt his moment come when Kou grabbed his erection and pumped him.

"Chrgh," Hakkai choked, arching his hips. He came with a yell against Kougaiji's stomach, coating them both. The other gave a final thrust and Hakkai felt liquid heat fill him. He closed his eyes as the warmth spread through him, making him tremble and shiver. Both stopped moving as nothing but the sound of their breathing filled the sunny room. Kougaiji leaned down and moved Hakkai's bangs from his eyes.

"Thank you Kai. . . I love you my friend," he whispered, kissing him. Hakkai kissed back and ran his fingers over the side of Kou's face.

"And I'll always love you too, Kou. . . For everything," he whispered back.

Both of them smiled and gently embraced on the bed, watching the sun rise higher into the sky.

"The rain. . . It stopped?" Hakkai whispered.

* * *

Hakkai was in his kitchen a half-hour later. His backside burned but not to the point where he couldn't move. He cleaned Kou's clothes while the other was in the shower. For the first time in days the sun broke through the clouds and lit up the city streets. Hakkai smiled at the sun as he finished the laundry and cleaning the kitchen. His home phone went off, and Hakkai went to his bedroom to answer it.

"Hello, Cho Gonou speaking?" he answered.

"Yo Kai, it's Gojyo!" the red head announced sounding strange.

"Gojyo, what is it? You don't sound happy. . . " Hakkai answered, sitting down on his bed.

"Yeah about that. . . Have you been to the office at all yesterday or this morning?" he asked.

"No, I went to bed after you left, and I've been. . . Busy, this morning, why?" Hakkai asked.

"I hate to tell ya bud but . . . Someone broke into the evidence room. It's a wreck and your computers been smashed. Looks like someone was trying to find something and got angry," Gojyo explained. Hakkai felt his heart turn into ice and slide down his throat.

"W-what!" He yelled. At the same time, Kougaiji was just stepping out of the bathroom. He became worried at the look of his friend's face.

"Hakkai?" Kougaiji asked.

"How did this happen? I'm the only one with the key to the basement!" The brunette rasped out.

"Looks like someone got in by force," Gojyo said.

"Are you there now?" Hakkai asked.

"Yeah but I think you should stay away. Cops are crawling everywhere and the Chief doesn't look happy," he said.

"No, that's not it! I need to give something to Bosatsu, something very important regarding the Rainy Day case. I have to get there to make sure the paper work wasn't stolen!" Hakkai said desperately into the phone.

"Huh? What paperwork? Wait . . . Shit, I'll just come get you instead. I'll be there with Sanzo in a few minutes so meet us on the sidewalk," he instructed.

"I will, thank you for the call," the brunette said.

Hakkai hung up the phone and turned to the half-dressed Kougaiji.

"We need to get to the station," was all he said.

* * *

TBC


	8. Broken into

**Chapter 8: Broken into**

* * *

Hakkai filled Kou in on the situation as both men got ready to go. To say the least Kougaiji was not happy. His cell had gone off, and it was the Chief herself.

"I need to get to the station back on the east side. Will you be all right?" He asked the brunette. Kou stood beside the other as Hakkai waited on the curb for Gojyo and Sanzo.

"I'll be fine; I just hope that evidence didn't get into the wrong hands," he said in desperation. Unexpectedly Kougaiji leaned forward and kissed him, wrapping an arm around his waist.

"Don't worry, I know you'll have put it in a safe place," he whispered against the other's lips. They both stood there a moment, simply getting comfort in each other's presence.

"Will this be the last time I see you?" Hakkai asked. Kougaiji bit his lip and sighed.

"It might be, but I'll call you every week," he promised. Hakkai kept himself from crying as his friend brushed his cheek before pulling away.

"Good bye," the brunette whispered. Kougaiji gave him a hard nod and waved for a taxi.

"Good bye Kai, remember, I love you," he said.

Hakkai watched as the other hurried into the cab, trench coat waving behind him. The weather started to turn sour again as the sun disappeared, and it started to drizzle. Kou watched him from the window as the cabby pulled into traffic. He gave Hakkai a small smile as the brunette watched the cab go. As it did, Sanzo pulled up in a car with Gojyo.

"Hakkai, get in!" Gojyo said, rolling down his window.

The brunette watched the cab drive away as he slowly approached the detective's car. He slid into the back and buckled up as Sanzo took off into traffic. The red head turned around to smile and greet him but frowned at the lost look on Hakkai's face.

"Hey yo, what's wrong man?" he asked. Hakkai wasn't aware of it, but Sanzo was watching him through the rear-view mirror.

"N-nothing, I'm fine. My head just still hurts a little is all," he said in a whisper. Sanzo turned back to the road.

"Maybe you should have stayed home. The investigation team hasn't found any finger prints yet," the blond said.

"I know, but I need to make sure the evidence for the Rainy Day wasn't taken. It special paper work only intended for the higher ups. It may even lead to whom the real killer is, which is why I'm concerned that the office was ransacked. If that's the case, then he wants the evidence that could lead to his capture," Hakkai said softly.

"Wait, are you saying you're some kind of secret agent or something?" Gojyo asked from the front seat.

"No, it's nothing like that. Bosatsu trusts me because I've worked the case's evidence since it started. She asked me to keep it hidden for her and only tell a few select people. The evidence was meant to be produced soon anyway, but we didn't know how the public would react. That and we weren't sure is the killer would flee once more details have been brought to the public," Hakkai explained to them.

"So you think this is an inside job then?" Sanzo asked.

"Only a specialized unit is aware of the new evidence. There are a select few in that group so it's highly possible that one of them is or is working for the killer. What has me a little worried is that it happened last night," Hakkai drifted off.

"Why, what's so special about yesterday?" Gojyo asked. Sanzo's eyes widened in realization.

"Yesterday was Friday," he stated, actually sounding concerned. Gojyo's head whipped right back to Hakkai.

"If you had been there, you would have run into him!" Gojyo said in surprise. Hakkai nodded.

"Either the killer intended to interrogate me for the evidence or .. . Kill me for it," he said. Sanzo remained silent while Gojyo looked at him with what looked like desperation.

"You could have been killed last night," he said. Hakkai looked out the window as the rain ran down it.

"Yes. . . It seems that way," the brunette said.

Thunder coated the sky and now steady rain drops hit the windshield of the car.

"Fucking rain, I can't see shit," Sanzo hissed as he merged into another intersection.

As they approached the station, the three men in the car gaped at what they saw. Under black umbrellas many interviewers pushed and pulled at one another as they tried to approach some police officers. They were pushed back behind a barricade as Sanzo parked his car a few feet away from the adjoining parking lot. More and more news vans approached the building as people ran out of them and set up their cameras.

"It's a fiasco!" Gojyo said getting out of the car. Sanzo growled in annoyance as he opened his own car door. Hakkai stepped out and blinked as rain drops coated his face. He wiped them away and started walking quietly next to Gojyo.

"This all seems too big for just a simple break in. What in gods' name are these people after?" Hakkai whispered.

"They weren't aroundwhen we left, how did they get in the front so fast?" Gojyo whispered this time to Sanzo. The blond grunted and pushed at both their shoulders to make them walk faster.

"Go through the back, I don't want an encounter with those vultures," he hissed. They both nodded in agreement and quietly followed Sanzo.

"Excuse me! Cho Gonou?" a voice yelled. Hakkai's heart stopped up as several pairs of feet hit the parking lot pavement and approached him. He turned and watched in horror as many news people ran toward him, microphones waving in the air. A few more eager reporters got close and actually pushed Sanzo and Gojyo out of the way. Hakkai became nervous when people started shouting and pushing at each other, shoving their microphones in his face.

"Cho Gonou is it true that the evidence room was broken into last night!" one woman yelled.

"Is it true that some evidence has been held back from the Rainy Day killer case?" a male news man yelled.

"Is it true that you yourself have been withholding evidence regarding possible victims?" Another woman asked.

"Why with hold evidence? Why not put the killer in jail now before more victims show up dead?" Someone shouted from the back of the group.

They kept approaching the brunette, bombarding him with question after question. They pushed him back against a police cruiser, and his heart beat triples as the cold metal met his back. They shoved cameras in his face, and lights went off from other cameras as they stepped on his toes. He felt his personal space invaded by all these people who only thought about themselves. He felt trapped and briefly wondered how quickly he could jump over a police car and book it to the nearest alley way. His vision began to swim from both the rain and the constant bombardment. He felt claustrophobic as his legs shook and threatened to give out. Fearing he would pass out Hakkai in vain stuttered on his words in an attempt to get them all away from him.

"Beat it!" An angry voice yelled. Hakkai felt a body shove itself between his own and the crowd. Not realizing he had closed his eyes Hakkai opened them and tilted his head up. Sanzo and Gojyo literally started to push the crowd backward, angry looks on their faces. What was a little unnerving though was the fact that Sanzo had his gun drawn. He held it threateningly toward the sky, and the reporters gaped when they saw it.

"Come any closer and we'll treat you as a threat!" the blond yelled, pointing his gun at the crowd. Hakkai felt his pulse slow as Gojyo grabbed his arm and quickly lead him away from the crowd. Many people had backed off when Sanzo started waving his gun around. Hakkai slipped into the back and sighed in relief as they made it inside the building.

"Thank you," he said to Gojyo. The red head shook out his hair and smiled nervously.

"Honestly, I think I was about to piss myself when Sanzo started waving his gun around. You don't mess with that, he is a pretty damn good shot!" He clarified. Hakkai smiled lightly and nodded his head toward the hallway.

"Come on, the sooner I give her the papers the better," he said. Gojyo followed him down the hall and past the security gate. They arrived at the basement steps and headed into the darkness. Hakkai bit his lip when he saw how much damage had been done. The security gate door had a large dent in it like someone had torn right through it. The light bulb flickered over the scattered mess of papers and broken glass. His computer was smashed, left on the floor near one of the filing cabinets. The lock on the evidence cage had been snapped and now rested on the floor in pieces. Hakkai walked through the mess and tried not to cringe. Years of hard work and organization had felt as though they had slipped down the drain. Bags in the evidence locker had been ripped open. Several items and other papers rested on the floor as well.

He jumped from his sorrow when Gojyo laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Yo, sorry man, looks like that mother fucker did some damage," he seemed to apologize with his eyes. Hakkai shook his head and gently patted the hand on his shoulder.

"No, it's all right; I have much of it on file electronically anyway. Hopefully, the hard drive isn't ruined in the computer. As for actual evidence . . . It doesn't seem like anything is damaged or missing. I've worked around this stuff for years; I would know when something is out of place," the brunette replied. He stepped away from Gojyo and headed for the evidence cage.

"I'm going to make sure Sanzo didn't kill anyone. Are you going to be all right?" Gojyo asked him. Hakkai turned toward him for a moment.

"Yes, I'll be fine. Please make sure Sanzo ah. . . Hasn't capped anyone yet," the brunette smiled nervously. Gojyo gave a small chuckle and waved before heading up the stairs.

"You got it!" he smiled.

Hakkai watched him go and suddenly dropped his smile. He walked to his smashed computer and gently moved the pieces with his shoe. He bent down and carefully set the monitor back on his desk. Being sure not to cut himself, he broke the rest of the glass on the screen and pulled out a small chip. He held it up to the light and examined it, making sure it wasn't broken.

"You were very close my friend. . . However, not close enough," Hakkai whispered.

* * *

Hakkai walked to the Chief's office where Sanzo and Gojyo were talking. Jien was there too talking to Bosatsu herself and when he walked in everyone looked at him. Hakkai figured he must have been a sight. He was probably still pale, and his hair wet from the continuing rain fall. He blushed slightly at all the attention.

"Hakkai, hey dude ya feeling better? It scared me to hear you ended up in the hospital," Jien said, walking up to him. Hakkai gave him a smile and gently clasped Jien's hand to shake it.

"I'm fine; I just needed to give something to Bosatsu," he said.

"Well I'm right here; I just hope it's what I think it is," she said from behind her desk. Jien stood back a bit, and Hakkai observed the Chief. She wore a tight blue shirt under her brown trench coat. Her hair was up in its usual ponytail and her lips rosy from too much lip stick. She stood up with a click of her heels and smiled at the brunette.

"Hakkai, I wouldn't have trusted any other human being with this assignment, thank you," she said with a nod. Hakkai stepped forward and dropped the small chip into her hand. The others watched in confusion as she held it to the light and examined it.

"That's it?" Jien asked.

"A microchip?" Sanzo questioned while leaning against the wall.

"No shit huh, that tiny thing was what the bastard was looking for?" Gojyo said, squinting as he looked at it. Bosatsu picked up a USB stick and put the small device in it. She plugged it into her computer and waited for it to load. Her eyes squinted at the monitor and opened wide a moment later.

"All right Hakkai, you're still on sick leave so you should head home and rest," she smiled at him. Hakkai nodded and made to the door.

"All right, if you insist, call me if you need anything further," he said. She winked at him which in turn caused him to blush.

"Hey Hakkai!" Gojyo called.

The brunette turned to the red head and clumsily caught the car keys thrown to him.

"Wait in the car will ya? Sanzo and I will save you money on cab fare," he smiled. Hakkai blinked and coughed.

"O-oh .. . . A-alright, I'll just. . . Wait in the car," he said in a stammer.

As soon as he closed the door behind him and walked down the hall did Bosatsu finally speak.

"We have a situation gentleman," she stated. All the men in the room became alert but confused.

"Why?" Sanzo asked, narrowing his eyes. Gojyo looked at his partner and examined his serious look.

"Does it involve the guy who broke into the evidence room?" Jien asked also. Bosatsu thinned her lips and shook her head.

"Worse I'm afraid," she said, taking a breath.

She stood from her desk and swivelled her monitor around to face them all. The men in the room looked surprised; Hakkai's face picture was on the monitor.

"Is that Hakkai?" Gojyo asked.

It was Hakkai all right, but the photo looked like it had been taken years ago.

"Hakkai made the top ten victim's list the first year the Rainy Day killer started. The reasons back then had not yet been cleared as to why he was selected, until now," she said. She looked at them all dead in the eye.

"Gentlemen, Hakkai has recently made his top ten on his list once again this year," she announced. All the men in the room looked at each other.

"W-What number is he on the list?" Jien dared to ask.

Bosatsu turned her screen back toward her.

"Number one," she whispered.

* * *

TBC


	9. Protection times two

**Chapter 9: Protection times two**

* * *

Gojyo and Sanzo gave the brunette a lift home. Hakkai invited them inside, unaware of what they were about to tell him. Both men actually looked anxious, something Hakkai was not used to seeing of them, especially the normally reserved Sanzo. As soon as they got the other home, they sat him down on his leather couch.

"Hakkai, we need to tell you something, and we need you to listen," Sanzo started. He chose to stand near the coffee table while Gojyo sat next to Hakkai on the couch.

"Yeah man, this comes from the Chief herself and what was on that chip you gave her," Gojyo mentioned, staring hard at the brunette. Hakkai nervously switched looking between Sanzo and Gojyo. His gut twisted in a way a man on trial would act; it wasn't so much fear as it was being anxious.

"Umm. . . Am I in some kind of trouble?" he asked them. Both the detectives looked at each other. Sanzo nodded his head to Gojyo, who sighed.

"In a way. way . . . Sort of but it's not your fault," Gojyo explained, holding up his hands. Hakkai blinked in confusion and instead looked to Sanzo.

"Maybe you should tell me, you don't tend to beat around the bush like Gojyo," the brunette asked of him. In a way, the comment made Sanzo almost smirk; too bad the situation was too serious right now.

"You've been targeted by the Rainy Day killer," Sanzo said right out, narrowing his eyes.

Hakkai's frame froze against his couch as his breathing stopped. His green eyes were wide as he slowly turned his head to look at Gojyo.

"What?" He whispered perplexed. He must have looked scared because Sanzo grabbed a kitchen chair and dragged it over roughly. He set it next to the coffee table directly in front of Hakkai's now shaking form. He sat down and crossed his legs.

"For some reason, some reason Kai you're at the top of this guy's list. Do you have any idea why he might be doing this?" Sanzo asked him, his form stiff on his seat.

Hakkai slowly shook his head as he looked at the floor. He suddenly felt very cold, so he raised his knees and hugged them.

"I-I don't know; I can't think of anything. . . I haven't done anything. . . Have I?" he asked himself. God, he now craved more than anything to be talking to either Kougaiji or his therapist.

Hakkai continued to stare at the floor as the cold feeling within him grew. He started to shake, and he clenched his teeth to keep them from chattering.

"Hakkai listen; Bosatsu put us responsible of your protection. He's not getting near you, as long as we're around, ya got that?" Gojyo said, voice trying to be reassuring.

Hakkai only glanced at him from the corner of his eyes. Gojyo's own eyes seemed to soften at his scared look.

"We'll take shifts until we're sure this guy has given up. It might take a while but Bosatsu isn't taking any chances," Sanzo explained, standing up from the chair. Hakkai watched the blond walk to his windows and light up a cigarette. The brunette seemed to have trouble registering the words.

"But why. . . Would you do this for me?" he asked them. Sanzo gave a huff and faced him. The blond watched the other with hard eyes but there was an underlining emotion Hakkai couldn't place within those purple depths.

"What reason do you want?" he asked, letting out a breath of smoke. Hakkai tried to think of what the blond meant. Unable to think at the moment Hakkai felt all his energy leave him as he relaxed against his couch. The way Sanzo was looking at him though made him feel. . . Uneasy? It always felt like the fair-haired man was judging him for every little action or word he said. Even when he was in the hospital, the golden haired detective analyzed him, as if just simply looking at him made him weaker. Hakkai suddenly felt irritated and wanted to take it out on someone.

"Bait possibly? I am the closest target the police have ever had after all," he simply said. Sanzo must have not liked the answer because he almost glared at the brunette.

"Moron," he turned his back and faced the windows.

"Knock it off Sanzo, I doubt he wants any of this to be happening. Look Hakkai. . . Just relax and we'll take care of everything," Gojyo assured, slapping Hakkai on the back with a large grin.

The brunette though couldn't feel at ease. His stomach had a permanent iceberg that wasn't going to melt anytime soon.

* * *

The whole week of his recovery time was his private personal hell. He felt trapped in his apartment even with either Gojyo or Sanzo there. Both men would often take shifts staying with him most of the day and late into the night. Hakkai's insomnia even with the pills made him more tired than ever before. He would find himself drifting off or staring at the wall with either Gojyo or Sanzo having to constantly check if he was okay. The only plus side to the whole thing was Sanzo seemed to be lightening up around him. Hakkai had thought the man had been annoyed at watching him, but it really wasn't that way at all.

Sanzo even complimented his cooking at times when the brunette decided to feed his bodyguards as a small thank you for putting up with him. Sanzo even offered to fix the brunette's cable which Hakkai had forgotten to call the man again. When both detectives were at his home, late Hakkai would even cook them dinner. It had been nice to finally use all the food the brunette had brought on his last trip. He let them use his shower and washed their clothes when they came in from the rain. He offered them a place to sleep when neither man felt like driving home. Hakkai though through all the comfort would still often look over his shoulder at the slightest noise or clash of thunder.

When Friday came Gojyo had surprised him by inviting him over to his own apartment.

"It'll be fun; I'll grab some booze, and it will get you out of your own place for a while. God knows you need to stop staring at the same four walls all week long," the red head smiled.

Hakkai was sitting at his kitchen table with a fresh mug of coffee in his hands. It was early and Gojyo had decided to spend the night since the rain only seemed to become heavier. Flooding had made the roads unsafe, and the brunette didn't want Sanzo to risk it to pick up his partner. Hakkai had been up all night anyway so he offered Gojyo his own bed, with fresh sheets of course. The red head seemed worried as he looked Hakkai over. The brunette had spent the night staring out of his window or reading to try to make him tired. Even when Gojyo had gotten up to use the bathroom at three in the morning, the brunette had been watching TV on mute.

"Who knows, maybe you'll sleep better?" He shrugged, scooping some egg into his mouth. Hakkai tilted his head as he watched Gojyo eat his breakfast.

"Are you sure I won't be a brother?" He asked in uncertainty. Gojyo gave him a skeptical eye over his plate as he sat down his fork.

"Kai . . . If anything, Sanzo and I are the imposing ones. We eat your food, use your shower and your washing machine . . . Hell we've each spent the night in your bed," he reminded the brunette. Hakkai blushed and looked away at the way Gojyo had said it. Gojyo seemed to laugh lightly at Hakkai's look. Hakkai couldn't help it; it was in his nature to give a little more than he got.

"Yes but . . . You're on duty though. I could at least help by making the stay a little more comfortable," he said, looking back up at the red head. Gojyo bit into his toast and practically guzzled his coffee down.

"Besides, you need to get out of this place. If you want to make yourself more comfortable though . . . Want to cook me another awesome dinner?" he winked. Hakkai chuckled lightly and brought his coffee to his lips.

"All right, if you insist," he smiled back.

* * *

Gojyo had borrowed Sanzo's car the next day and drove them around in it. They stopped to the grocery store, and Hakkai put his foot down when Gojyo tried to pay for the groceries. He decided to make a spicy chicken salad since Gojyo had talked about nothing but spicy food the whole drive. The apartment building was located a few miles from Hakkai's own place. It was tucked away between a law office and a large child's park. The street was narrow and Gojyo was careful to park Sanzo's car between the buildings and into a small parking garage in the back. Gojyo grabbed the groceries while Hakkai grabbed his overnight bag and followed him to the elevator. Hakkai could hear arguing just as they stepped out onto Gojyo's fourth floor.

"God dammit not again," Gojyo sighed, starting to walk down the hallway.

"Marriage scuffles?" Hakkai asked, following quietly behind him.

"Nah, these two college roommates live here and all they do it bitch at another. Although . . . They do act like they're married or something," he mumbled the last part. Hakkai walked with him further down the hall and turned a corner. The hallway was a bit narrow with personal items littering the walk space. Children's toys, trash, a bike, some shoes and even an old mop were obstacles on the way to Gojyo's door. Hakkai could hear some children screaming as a mother raised her voice in one apartment. They walked up to a slightly worn tan door, and Gojyo unlocked it with his key. He pushed it open with his foot as beckoned Hakkai inside.

"It's kind of small but . . . Hey, it's home," he shrugged. Hakkai took off his shoes at the door and followed the red head through the kitchen. Gojyo set down the groceries as Hakkai looked around. It was actually rather large as they moved through it. They entered the kitchen through the door that eventually led to the living room. It held a short eating table in the center with a couch off to the right and near the windows, a small television. Magazines littered the floor near the couch and beer cans occupied the table. It didn't smell bad, but Hakkai didn't want to be rude and open a window to let out the overly strong smell of cigarettes and beer. The carpet could have been cleaner, and the walls were yellow, but it did have its own class to it. Some pictures and awards hung along the walls along with a few books on a shelf near the closet door. An over flowing ash tray sat on the kitchen counter as Gojyo started putting away the groceries.

"Eh. . . Let me clean up a bit for a minute, make yourself at home though," he offered, waving his hand around. Hakkai set his bag on the floor and followed Gojyo.

"I'll help you, got a trash bag?" he asked. He roamed the apartment with Gojyo picking up garbage and other junk. Gojyo picked up his magazines as Hakkai emptied the ashtrays and collected the beer cans. Hakkai had pretended not to see as Gojyo dropped one magazine, which happened to be a porno. The red head only coughed and quickly shoved the erotic material into his closet. After they cleaned Gojyo sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Sorry about the mess, I haven't been home in a bit, and I don't seriously have many people over. Sanzo is usually the only one who really sees it, so I don't really care for his opinion," he joked. Hakkai sat at the table and looked at him.

"And mine matters?" he asked curiously. Gojyo shrugged and gave him a goofy smile.

"I don't know, hopefully your cleanliness will rub off on me or something," he laughed.

After dinner and a brief tour around the apartment Hakkai sat on the slightly worn couch. It was nearing eight at night, and Hakkai had changed out of his jeans and into his pajama pants and a white T-shirt. Gojyo was going through his cabinets looking for something as Hakkai watched him in confusion. The news was on the TV, and Hakkai watched the weather channel along with updates from around the city. Sanzo had called after they ate saying he would be stopping by for something tomorrow morning. The red head made a noise of success and came out of his floor cabinets with a slightly dusty bottle.

"Found it!" he said in victory, holding it up like a trophy. He set it on the counter as he cleaned the outside of the bottle. He took out some glasses and brought the bottle with him as he sat next to Hakkai on the couch.

"Wine?" Hakkai asked unfolding his legs and setting his feet on the floor. Gojyo handed him a glass and un did the cork on the bottle.

"Sanzo's old man gave it to me a few years back, and I sorta forgot about it since I don't drink anything but beer. Someone of your sophisticated taste might be better suited," he chuckled. The brunette watched him open the bottle and pour their glasses.

"Thank you for the compliment, but I'm not as sophisticated as one might think," Hakkai defended lightly.

"Yeah but first time I saw you that was the word that came through my mind," he winked, filling Hakkai's glass. The red liquid inside the glass sloshed around thickly.

"Really? I hope the word snotty wasn't in your mind also. I tend to give people a vibe that. . . That I'm a bit of a prude," he confessed.

"Nah, most people think of me as an ass from the way I act. Well, Sanzo thinks I'm an ass anyway, but he thinks that way about everyone," he frowned, taking a sip. Hakkai raised his cup and inwardly smiled at the sweet taste of the wine. He pulled back his glass and smiled at the red head.

"You're definitely cocky if you don't mind me saying," the brunette smiled. Gojyo looked at him and leant back a bit on his couch, giving him a squinty eyed look.

"Now that I think about it, should I have taken you to doctor visits or something over the last week? You are on medical leave after all," he mentioned. Hakkai shook his head and suddenly remembered the pills he had in his bag. He had been taking them, but they didn't seem to be doing much anymore.

"No, I used to . . . Well, I was going to therapy. Not for emotional problems but strictly for my insomnia. I put the sessions on hold though, Kougaiji doesn't like me going to them all that much," he said, sipping his drink. At the thought of Kougaiji Hakkai felt both a bitter ache, and a sense of excitement run through him. He recalled the morning he spent with the other and missed both the contact and the emotions behind it.

"I heard he got a promotion, and some higher ups were talking about it. Are you going to be okay with him so far away?" Gojyo asked. Hakkai looked surprised and sat down his glass to refill it.

"I do talk about him a lot, don't I? I'll be fine; we already had a proper good bye," he said, picking the glass back up and taking a long sip.

"Proper good-bye?" Gojyo raised an eyebrow. Hakkai didn't look at the other as he answered. The brunette took a breath and sloshed his wine around in his glass.

"Yes," was all he said.

There were a few moments of silence in which neither spoke. Hakkai tried to keep his cheeks from turning red the longer the other male stared at him.

"Did you sleep with him?" Gojyo asked suddenly.

Hakkai took an intake of breath and almost dropped his glass. He looked at Gojyo to see the other's reaction. The man didn't seem disgusted as he watched Hakkai, only innocently curious. Hakkai wasn't sure how to answer the question as he blinked still in his own shock.

"I don't care if you did. Hell, I'm the most unbiased person you'll meet. Even so, I was wondering if Kou finally told you his feelings. I'm no sharp cookie, but I can tell when somebody has feelings for someone else, by the way, they act," he said, looking across the room. Hakkai stared at his glass as he shifted against the couch's arm rest.

"He . . . He did," Hakkai answered. Gojyo set down his glass and looked at the brunette.

"Do you feel the same way?" he asked again. Hakkai looked away and took a long sip of his wine. He didn't like where the conversation was going.

"Gojyo . . . I'd rather not talk about it," he said quietly. The red head shrugged and refilled both their glasses.

"All right, suit yourself," he said back.

Hakkai felt terribly exposed after that. He just couldn't figure Gojyo out at all. The moment the red head seemed supportive he turned around and ripped a hole in Hakkai's persona. It was almost as if he was doing it on purpose. The rest of the evening consisted of light talk and watching the news. Thunder roared outside, and Hakkai turned to watch it. Rain flooded the city hard as Gojyo came back to the couch with a beer in hand. They both had finished the wine, and Hakkai was feeling a little tipsy after his fourth glass. He had always been very good with his alcohol but between how tired he was it didn't take long to succumb to it. Gojyo stumbled a little as he returned to the couch and sat a little closer to the brunette than what would be considered polite. It seemed that Gojyo also had a hard time holding his drink, and it didn't help that there were a few open and now empty beer cans on the coffee table as well.

"Geesh, the rain just won't stop," Gojyo said out loud. Hakkai nodded and turned to look at the red head. Gojyo's face came in a little blurrily, so he blinked to clear away the cloudiness.

"That time of the year," he said.

"Feels like it's been raining all year!" Gojyo complained. Hakkai made a noise of approval before looking back out the window.

"I've been wondering. . . " Gojyo began, turning fully toward the brunette. Hakkai looked back to him and curled up a bit more on the couch. Gojyo drew a little closer and almost pressed against his thigh.

"How does therapy cure insomnia? Don't you need a real doctor for that kind of thing?" he asked with a raised brow. Hakkai could hear in the other's voice that he was on the verge of being drunk. Gojyo's face was a little flushed, and Hakkai admitted he was beginning to get that way as well. Deciding to humor the drunken other, Hakkai answered his questions.

"It doesn't really. . . I was hoping more so to find an answer if anything else. I've only recently gone to the doctor," he said. Gojyo made a noise and wrinkled his nose.

"That sounds stupid, what the hell could a therapist tell ya?" he snorted, leaning back on the couch.

"It's actually very useful," Hakkai lightly argued. Gojyo shook his head and reached for another beer.

"What they tell ya? Drink more water and go to church?" he almost seemed too mock. Hakkai was slightly annoyed at the words and felt a need to defend his therapist a little.

"Sex," Hakkai said. Gojyo's opened beer stopped halfway to his mouth as his brows frowned in the middle.

"Sex?" he repeated, looking toward the brunette. Hakkai gave his own small smirk at catching Gojyo off guard.

"Yes, she said I need more sex in my life. She said sex can be a release in more than one way," he stated her exact words. Gojyo bursted out laughing before he took a sip of his beer. Crushing the can in his hand, he let it join the others on the coffee table.

"She got that right!" he continued to laugh hysterically. Hakkai watched as the other continued to laugh, nearly falling off the couch. Gojyo almost spilt his newly open beer as he also set it on the coffee table along with the others.

"So have you been keeping up with your therapist's advice?" Gojyo smirked, wiping his mouth of excess beer. Hakkai looked away and took a sip of his own beer, having decided to get one after Gojyo made it look so tempting.

"I hardly see that as any of your business," he mumbled. Gojyo crawled a little closer as he continued to smirk widely.

"Oh come on! This is what men do! They complain about shit and brag when they've been getting some tail!" he whined. Hakkai huffed and crossed his arms.

"I've never believed in being so macho that I would spill my guts like that," he said. Hakkai rubbed his eyes as he spoke, feeling a bit tired. He managed to stifle a yawn as Gojyo raised an eyebrow at him.

"Heh, tired finally? I don't think you've slept for a few nights," Gojyo said, voice slightly lower. Hakkai rubbed his forehead and moved some of his hair behind his ears. Unaware to him Gojyo watched every slight movement that he had made, no matter how small.

"I could yawn all I wanted and still not sleep," he said quietly, setting down his finished beer can.

"Hmm. . . So. . . What would make you tired? . . Like, really tired?" Gojyo inquired. Hakkai turned his head away from his friend.

"Gojyo. . . " He began.

"Sex maybe?" the red head interrupted. Hakkai looked back to his friend with a face of confusion.

"W-what?" he asked, blushing slightly. Gojyo set down his beer and leaned on his arms toward Hakkai.

"Yeah I mean. . . Kou left what. . . About a week ago?" Gojyo shrugged. Hakkai's heart clenched at the mention of his friend. Kougaiji had yet to call, and Hakkai wondered how the other man was doing.

"Gojyo that is irrelevant," the brunette said. Gojyo shook his head and poked Hakkai in the shoulder. The brunette tensed a little when Gojyo set his hand on that same shoulder and let it slide down Hakkai's arm.

"No, it isn't; it means it's been a week since you've slept. . . A week since you've had sex with someone, right?" he said. Hakkai looked at Gojyo in anger this time.

"Gojyo, I do believe you've had enough to drink. Before you embarrass yourself, I suggest you just go to bed so I can stay up all night as usual! I'm glad you find my problem so interesting!" Hakkai nearly hissed, throwing off the red head's hand on his arm. Gojyo's eyes suddenly turned angry, and he brought his hands up and grabbed Hakkai roughly by his biceps.

"I would never do that, don't lump me in with the everyday common asshole. I care much more deeply than that," he hissed lowly.

Hakkai didn't have time to react before Gojyo leaned forward and captured his mouth in a powerful kiss. Hakkai opened his mouth in surprise, and Gojyo took full advantage of it. The taste of beer and cigarettes assaulted him, and he closed his eyes. A hungry tongue invaded his mouth, licking the inside of his cheeks and making saliva roll down his chin. Hakkai had never tasted or felt something so powerful, any kiss he had every experienced in the past was wiped away by Gojyo. The grip on his arms grew tighter until the brunette realized he was being pulled into Gojyo's lap. The red head moaned and tilted his head, making the kiss deeper.

It was strong. . . It tasted like beer. . . Gojyo smelt like cigarettes as butterflies coated his stomach. . . but all in all. . .

Hakkai liked it . . . He liked the kiss and everything about it.

A warm feeling traveled from his chest and without meaning to his groin. His cheeks turned red as he closed his eyes and started returning the kiss. Their tongues battled as Gojyo pulled his body anyway it would go. Hakkai's bangs fell in front of his face and tickled his nose. The brunette gasped as a large olive skinned hand went into his pajama top and felt up his stomach. The feeling in his groin increased and for once he didn't want it to stop.

Gojyo. . . Made him feel amazing.

* * *

TBC


	10. Lay me down

**Chapter 10: Lay me down**

* * *

Hakkai grunted as Gojyo pushed him into his bedroom door. The grunt was swallowed a moment later by a hungry mouth. Gojyo had opened his eyes, and for a moment and Hakkai thought he was looking into fiery pits instead of pupils. The look in Gojyo's eyes said nothing but desire and hunger. Hakkai had never been looked at with that type of eyes. Anyone who knew him personally always usually regarded him with either caution or adoration but this. . .

This was lust.

The bedroom was tiny, only containing a double bed and a minuscule dresser with a chair near the window. The room also smelt of cigarettes as a large ashtray over flowed on the window sill. A door in the corner was open slightly revealing what appeared to Hakkai as being a bathroom. . . A very messy looking bathroom.

Gojyo didn't give him anymore time to think as his mouth was caught again. Hakkai had lost his pajama top in the living room when Gojyo started feeling up his chest. The red head still had his clothes on but looked like he wanted them off. Hakkai felt the edges of his pants grabbed as a pair of lips nibbled on his neck.

"Fuck . . . You taste good," Gojyo breathed hotly against his skin. Hakkai closed his eyes as the hands wasted no time and quickly rid him of his pants. It might have been the amount of wine in his system, but he found himself unable to speak. It was as if his body wanted this and controlled everything on its own terms. Hakkai answered by moaning and jutting his hips forward in need. Gojyo sunk to his knees and the brunette gasped as strong hands held his hips in an iron grip. He looked down into the man's fiery gaze as he expertly licked his tongue across his navel to the narrow patch of hair beginning to his groin. Hakkai blushed at the strong gaze that Gojyo never removed from his own sight. He ran that tongue up and down a few times, nibbling on the skin here and there. Hakkai threaded his fingers into red hair as Gojyo breathed on his half-formed erection.

"Do you want me to . . . ?" Gojyo asked him in a low voice. Hakkai opened his eyes, not realizing he closed them a moment ago. He bit his lip as Gojyo steadied him against his bedroom wall by his hips alone, gaze sharp and full of lust.

"Want. . . ?" Hakkai's brain muddled, blinking rapidly.

"Suck you off?" he asked with a smirk. Hakkai didn't have a chance to answer as Gojyo's hot breath roamed over his now loaded erection. Hakkai had never felt so embarrassed and full of desire at the same time in his life. Gojyo still watched him as he trailed his tongue teasingly just to the side of the brunette's erection. With his legs trembling Hakkai nodded and closed his eyes.

"Y-yes . . . " He whispered. He heard Gojyo chuckle against his hip.

"Yes what?" He continued to tease. The brunette bit his lip as his face and chest took on a deeper red hue.

"S-suck m-me o-off," he stumbled over his words.

Without warning, Gojyo swallowed him whole right up to the base of his length. Hakkai choked on his intake of air as his head fell back to the wall. His legs shook and the only thing keeping him up was Gojyo's grip on his hips. He looked down at the head of red hair as it moved almost expertly over his cock. The larger male made deep throaty sounds that went straight to the pit of Hakkai's stomach. Gojyo sucked him harder, pressing Hakkai almost painfully into the wall. His hips twitched with every outward suck and deep throated movement. The brunette couldn't describe the feeling, having never had a blow job before he was overwhelmed. He panted harder as his knees shook and Gojyo's bangs brushed against his stomach with every movement.

"G-Gojyo!" Hakkai choked out.

He felt his stomach tense and his groin throb with the upcoming orgasm. He grasped a fist full of red hair with his right hand as his other braced himself against the wall. He bent over partly at the waist as his knees spread slightly. Gojyo pulled back with a long lick to the head of Hakkai's cock. He smirked up at Hakkai when he realized the state the other was in. Red eyes met green and Hakkai couldn't help but swallow the excess saliva in his mouth. No words were needed; they seemed to communicate with their eyes. Gojyo leaned forward one last time and licked Hakkai, causing the other to moan which in turn made the red head smirk. He swallowed the paper clerks' whole again, and this time worked him harder. In no time, the brunette was brought to orgasm, crying out as his hand tightened in Gojyo's red hair. Gojyo moaned as his mouth filled with liquid, closing his eyes. He swallowed the liquid, making a pleased noise at the taste. He slowly rose, hands-on Hakkai's hips as he dragged his tongue up to the brunette's abdomen. When he reached Hakkai's face, he leaned in and captured his lips in another powerful kiss.

Hakkai was at a loss for words at this point. His mind was buzzing, and his legs felt like jelly. The hold on his hips pulled him away from the door, lips never breaking contact. Gojyo steered him to the bed and easily fell on top of him when they reached it. Bringing his hands up, Hakkai ran them down the bigger man's tan back, nails slightly scratching. Gojyo moaned and arched his back like a cat being petted. Their kissing grew hotter as the red head manipulated his head to different angles. When air was needed both pulled back, panting and looking at each other.

Hakkai's green eyes were slightly hazy between his own lust and the many glasses of wine. His groin ached even though he had already reached completion just a moment ago. Gojyo slowly stood from him and grasped the ends of his muscle shirt, pulling it upward. Tan abs glistened with sweat as the brunette's eyes took it all in. Gojyo must have been a field detective. It was the only explanation for such a body. Hakkai panted as the red head seemed to be teasing him with a strip show. Gojyo smirked devilishly as he slowly lowered the edges of his sleep pants. When they were around Gojyo's knees, Hakkai squirmed a bit and looked away. Gojyo chuckled as he crawled back onto the bed with Hakkai, in between his legs.

"Why so shy suddenly? I already had your cock in my mouth," he husked against the skin of Hakkai's neck. Despite himself at the crude words, Hakkai felt his stomach flutter in arousal.

"S-should we even be doing this?" Hakkai asked, bringing his eyes back to the other. Gojyo hummed in his throat as he laid himself fully on top of Hakkai.

"Do you have a reason not to?" Gojyo in turn asked him.

Hakkai gasped as that muscled body came in contact with his own lean one. Gojyo kissed him as he powerfully ground his hips downward. Hakkai whimpered against his lips as arms circled around his back and pulled him close. Trying to find his logical side Hakkai couldn't find a reason, not to do this. He wasn't in a relationship, and Gojyo didn't seem to be either. Maybe he didn't want the awkwardness between him, and Gojyo that some people got after sleeping with their friends. Hakkai didn't want to lose the one friend he had made truly in Gojyo.

"You're thinking too much," Gojyo suddenly whispered against his cheek. Hakkai snapped from his thoughts as Gojyo looked down at him. Hakkai blushed and turned his eyes away as a bold hand went lower and ran across his stomach. There was a faint scar near his abdomen from a bike accident in his childhood, but Gojyo didn't seem disgusted by it. He watched his own hand roam over Hakkai's slightly pale skin. The brunette breathed deep as he watched as Gojyo seemed to be examining his body. The journey ended when Gojyo gently wrapped his fingers over Hakkai's awakening arousal.

"Now, just feel for me, brace yourself," Gojyo whispered, moving his hands to the brunette's hips. Hakkai at the words blinked in confusion.

"W-what?" he said breathlessly, shifting a bit on the double bed. Gojyo smirked and looked through his long red bangs at him. Before he could say anything else, Gojyo squeezed his hips and lifted him up. Hakkai felt his hips go up until his ass was up and off of the bed. Hakkai flushed in embarrassment as he was fully exposed to the other male. His heart rate quickened as a healthy fresh flush coated his chest and cheeks at the new position.

"G-Gojyo!" Hakkai squirmed in his friend's grip. Gojyo chuckled throatily, and to Hakkai's horror lowered his face to the brunette's most private area. Hakkai raised his hands and tried to reach to push Gojyo's face away from his entrance. His hands came up just short as Gojyo playfully chuckled and avoided the hands.

"Trust me, bet you've never had this done to you," he husked.

Before Hakkai could speak any more, Gojyo moved fast and licked the area of skin behind his testicles. Hakkai squirmed again and gave out a surprised moan which startled him. Gojyo moaned against the skin he licked. Moving down the red head's hair tickled Hakkai's legs as he smoothed over the skin. Hakkai threw his head back and clenched the sheets in arousal and extreme embarrassment. His hips twitched as Gojyo licked his entrance and boldly stuck his tongue in. Hakkai bit his lip and unintentionally jutted his hips up to the mouth. Gojyo adjusted his grip and bent Hakkai in half for a better angle. He delved deeper, his tongue long and hot inside Hakkai's anus. The brunette tried to stifle whimpers as protests sat on the edge of his tongue. Gojyo growled at the responses he was getting from the other. He watched over Hakkai's erection as the brunette threaded his long piano fingers into his own bangs and cried out as Gojyo sunk further into his entrance.

"You like that, Hakkai?" Gojyo husked against the skin of his ass. The brunette squeezed his eyes shut and squirmed as that hot tongue sent jolts of pleasure straight to his cock.

"S-stop! I-it's . . . " Hakkai protested in a series of moans.

"Dirty?" Gojyo asked him, licking him harder. He bent his head and shoved his tongue deeper and harder into Hakkai, stretching him. He ran the pink muscle over Hakkai's inner walls as he set the brunette's legs over his shoulder for a better access. Hakkai cried out and started to gently rock his hips to the intrusion inside him. Having never felt something like this, Hakkai was conflicting. The sensation was amazing but the act itself made him shiver in embarrassment and slight disgust. Why would anyone want to put their tongue in such a private place? Gojyo seemed to like it as he moaned and worked him harder. To prevent himself from coming Hakkai quickly grabbed the base of his erection to keep himself in check. Gojyo saw this, and his eyes turned into slits.

"Looks like you're ready," he whispered. He pulled back, licking his lips as Hakkai panted, sweat running down his forehead. He looked at Gojyo with those intense green eyes. The red head could tell that Hakkai by nature was shy and very reserved. The level of intimacy this man had experienced no doubt stopped at the foreplay and simply went straight to the deed. Gojyo was more passionate than that. He liked to give his lovers a good time before the initial fucking actually started. He wanted Hakkai to find things out about himself that he never even knew. Gojyo didn't know why, but he wanted to take care of Hakkai and open a new door for him, one he would never want to close again.

He let Hakkai's hips settle on the bed as the brunette squeezed his erection. He felt Hakkai loosen from the rimming and knew the brunette wouldn't need anymore preparation. Gently, Gojyo separated Hakkai's legs again and eased himself over the trembling brunette. Hakkai's features seemed to glow and for the first time in a while with a lover Gojyo took a deep breath and sat back to admire him. He leaned over Hakkai, kissing his lips and feeling the head of the other's erection tap his stomach. Easing Hakkai's hips into his lap the red head let his own erection rub against the crack of Hakkai's ass. He wasn't sure what type of lover Kougaiji had been, but he assumed Hakkai must have bottomed by the way the other man reacted to him. Kissing Hakkai harder the brunette wrapped his arms around Gojyo's neck and kissed back almost as much but still held back in his shy nature. His face and chest were flushed, and Gojyo felt adrenaline and excitement run through his veins. He moved Hakkai's hips closer as he rubbed his erection against Hakkai's entrance. The brunette looked at him with a mixture of lust, nervousness and fear. Gojyo looked deep into his eyes as he carefully moved forward and pushed through the first ring of muscle and delved further inside the green-eyed man.

Gojyo was a rough lover.

Hakkai gasped as his hands clenched into Gojyo's cigarette smelling sheets. Since the sex had begun, Gojyo's tenderness had turned a different direction. The gentleness was still there, but it wasn't as persistent. Gojyo had moved him to his hands and knees, and he quickly moved in and out of him. The brunette had closed his eyes as Gojyo spared no expense, ramming his prostate and manipulating his hips to different angles. He wasn't in pain . . . Just . . . In a state of desire that made a blush come to his cheeks and permanently stay there. Gojyo above him bent over his back, whispering in his ear and kissing his back and shoulder blades. The power of the thrusts caused Hakkai to fall to his chest, hips in the air as he tried in vain to keep up to the thrusting. Gojyo grunted above him, panting at the state of his partner on the bed. When that amazing sensation began to fill his spine, Hakkai picked his head up and tried to reach for his neglected erection, red and leaking furiously.

"You wanna come?" Gojyo almost seemed to growl lowly against his back. Hakkai let out a whimper of need as Gojyo flipped him onto his back. Hakkai panted almost harshly as the thrusts kept going even as Gojyo smirked down at him. The brunette's teeth were clenched as sweat began to cloud his eyes. His hands behind his head shook terribly as he struggled to find some leverage through the rough fucking. His hips continued to bounce on the bed as Gojyo groaned and let his hands settle on his neglected erection. Moving over Hakkai, he kissed his breathless lips, opening him up more to the sex and lightly touching the out of breath brunette's cock.

"Gojyo!" Hakkai arched. In his sensitive state, Hakkai bucked and Gojyo fondled him, letting the red head know that he was close to cumming.

Gojyo's eyes widened before they narrowed in desire.

"Hakkai," he whispered back, sounding equally as pleasured. The red head leaned fully down until he was face to face with the flushed other. Slamming his hips forward he carefully finished Hakkai as the other, screamed and closed his eyes. Gojyo groaned as a gush of warm cum landed on his stomach, Hakkai convulsing under him. When the other turned boneless Gojyo thrusted harshly once more until he too grunted his completion. The red head's arms shook as he touched his head to the mattress beside Hakkai's neck. Long trembling fingers smoothed into red hair as Hakkai fought to control his own breathing. Leaning back up Gojyo turned his head to the side to see an exhausted Hakkai barely able to keep his eyes open. The other male had bags under his eyes, looking darker than Gojyo had remembered looking at earlier in the evening. Realizing Hakkai must have been ready to pass out, he leaned over and kissed his lips.

"Go to sleep Kai," he urged. Hakkai's eyes lowered until they almost closed.

"Gojyo," he murmured softly. The other smirked and ran his hand almost tenderly over the brunette's cheek as his eyes completely closed.

"Sleep," he said again. Hakkai nodded off almost immediately as Gojyo gently pulled out and sat up on the bed. He watched Hakkai for a few moments as the other's chest rose and fell smoothly. Fighting the urge for an after sex smoke, he moved Hakkai and spooned the other's back. Snuggling them both into the bed, Gojyo closed his eyes, letting Hakkai's breathing swiftly sent him also to sleep.

* * *

_Bodies moved against him like tidal waves in the ocean. Looking around his eyes fought to get used to the strange light blinking and changing color above him. Twisting his head, he heard laughter that sounded like neither happy nor sane. He felt a hand on his arm, moving past his shoulder to hold the back of his neck in an almost soft caress. No matter how hard he tried, but he was unable to turn to the one doing it. His arms were stuck to his sides as his legs felt like jelly. The floor under him lit up as more people continued to dance, moving erratically._

_A nice dress shirt . . . Sunglasses . . . Too much jewelry but not a face in the crowd. Neat suites, black ties, zebra painted couches . . . He didn't understand why all these things came to mind._

* * *

Hakkai awoke, but he fought not to let his body jerk. He blinked in confusion as the room around him seemed unfamiliar and small. Remembering he was at Gojyo's, he frowned but blushed as the burning in his backside was intensified. His eyes went wide as someone behind him mumbled in their sleep, hot air touching the back of his neck. Turning slightly he did all he could not to disturb the arm now wrapped about his waist and dangerously close to his groin. Gojyo was still fast asleep, his much larger frame nearly taking up all the bed side. Red hair looked wild as it scattered across the pillows, come of his lying on Hakkai's neckline. Trying not to shiver at the tickling sensation it brought he struggled to look around for a clock. There was an electric one near the dresser by the bathroom as Hakkai zoned in on it.

_2:45 a.m._

He fought back a groan and the urge to rise from the bed. He moved his legs slightly which in turn caused Gojyo to groan and shift more snug in his own body. Hakkai blushed as hot skin came into contact with his back. His eyes went wide as Gojyo's hips seemed to push right up against his backside, not leaving to the imagination about what else was not poking Hakkai in the backside. He tried to even his breathing and closed his eyes, willing his body to just go back to sleep.

"You're thinking too much again," Gojyo suddenly mumbled against his cheek. In surprise, Hakkai turned his head to catch Gojyo's gaze with him own. The red head's eyes were still slept gazed as his messy bangs partially hid his face. Hakkai blinked and moved to slightly lay on his back.

"Did I wake you?" Hakkai asked. Gojyo ran a hand through his hair as his other arm tightened and pulled Hakkai closer.

"Nah, I was just dozing," he said, his eyes never leaving Hakkai's. They watched each other for a moment, and it made Hakkai nervous.

"You were having a dream, kept mumbling the word . . . Sunglasses," Gojyo said. Hakkai gave a small laugh.

"I didn't realize I talked in my sleep," he said softly.

"You move around a lot too," Gojyo smirked. Hakkai made a noise as Gojyo wrapped his other arm around him until their bare stomachs touched. They were face to face as Gojyo looked deeply into his eyes. Hakkai didn't know what to do or say as Gojyo leaned forward fully and kissed his lips. The kiss was soft, a mere touching of lips, and it made Hakkai close his eyes. When Gojyo pulled back, he opened them to see the red head smirking at him.

"Gojyo . . . Where exactly are we on this?" The brunette asked him. The red head raised an eyebrow and shrugged his shoulders.

"What? You mean is this going to be a casual fling or something? To be honest, I've wanted to fuck you the moment, I saw you in your office," he said. He seemed to mull something over in his head before he looked casually up at his ceiling fan.

"Sanzo too actually, you can be all he talks about some moments if we're on the subject. Whether it's the case or how we kinda wanted to. . . Convince you," he said lightly. Hakkai sat up a bit and stared in shock at the red head.

"Wait. . . I don't understand, is Sanzo your lover?" he asked in fear. Hakkai had a sinking feeling in his stomach and prayed to god he just did not come in between a serious relationship between the two detectives.

"What? Well. . . Sorta. . . I mean we're not in love per-say. . . Just Uh. . . I guess fuck buddies really," Gojyo shrugged.

"But our relationship was becoming a bit lacking as of late. I mean we tried a whole bunch of kinky shit but it didn't feel right. . . So as soon as we both saw you, we kinda . . Wanted you. So I approached you first and well. . . We didn't want to scare you off. And to be honest after I saw you in the hospital like that we kinda . . . Started caring about you. You've treated Sanzo and I really kindly Kai. . . And well. . . We wanna be around you more. You were like this. . . Glue to us. You filled the gap we needed. . . Shit, does that sound cheesy?" he asked the other. Hakkai only continued to look at the red head in shock.

"So you want me to be another fuck buddy?" Hakkai asked straight out with a raised bro. Gojyo made a noise of frustration and slapped his forehead.

"Hakkai, dude no! Sheesh!" Gojyo seemed to be annoyed as he plopped onto his back. He pulled Hakkai back to the bed and covered him with his body. Hakkai didn't struggle, but that didn't mean he didn't tense under the scarlet headed man. Gojyo looked down at him from under a curtain of ruby hair.

"What I'm trying to say . . . Is that both of us want to be with you!" Gojyo told him. Hakkai blinked as Gojyo seemed to look away and take a red hue to his naturally tan face. The brunette could only think of one word to describe this situation.

_Polygamy?_

"You mean . . . All three of us . . . In a relationship?" he asked unsurely. Gojyo leaned down and kissed his forehead, running his hands-down Hakkai's stomach.

"If you want . . . To be honest, I wanted to approach this in a different way. But when I started drinking last night, and you moved that damn bit of hair behind your ear . . . You looked so beautiful," he mumbled in embarrassment. Hakkai felt butterflies enter his stomach at the words. Having never been in a long-lasting relationship, it was so sudden and a bit scary that two men wanted him at the same time. Especially when he hadn't known them for too long, and each had entirely different personalities.

"Why didn't Sanzo approach me then?" He asked a bit shyly. Gojyo actually laughed at that, leaning down to kiss Hakkai's collarbone.

"Believe it or not, he might be a hard ass but . . . He's a shy motherfucker," he smiled. Hakkai couldn't help but let out a surprised huff.

"No way," he said in confusion. Gojyo this time kissed his lips, and he leaned his full body weight onto the brunette. Hakkai made a noise of arousal as Gojyo rubbed against him. Ashamed of himself, he looked away as Gojyo laughed.

"I think I could get used to this," the red head mumbled.

* * *

TBC


	11. Misty Revelations

**Chapter 11: Misty Revelations**

* * *

Surprisingly, after another heated morning sex session Hakkai and Gojyo fell back to sleep. Remembering that Sanzo was going to stop by early Hakkai at least wanted to look presentable. Gojyo let him slip into the shower and also attempted to follow him in. As much as Hakkai was willing, his body was hurting. Both sessions took a toll on his body right down to his fatigue. Luckily, Gojyo was the understanding type and wasn't offended when Hakkai told him he was sore. Now in the small shower Hakkai relaxed into the spray. His clean clothes sat on the counter as he scrubbed shampoo into his hair. At first, he was reluctant to leave anything of his in this bathroom; the state of Gojyo's toilet made his skin crawl. If Gojyo hadn't admitted being in a relationship with Sanzo, he would have sworn the red head was a bachelor.

As he washed his hair, his thoughts went back to Sanzo. With Gojyo's personality, it was easy to know what the other was thinking. Every time Hakkai was left alone with Sanzo; it almost felt like he had to walk on pins and needles The blond was hard to read and the one thing Hakkai feared was angering a quiet person or offending someone. He had been genuinely nice to Sanzo because the man was taking time out of his schedule to guard him. Every time the other looked at him; he could never read the emotions behind those closely glowing purple eyes. The idea that the blond wanted him nearly seemed. . . surreal. Hakkai briefly wondered if he could handle being in a relationship with two people at the same time. It was all happening so fast, but he was comforted by Gojyo's words.

_"We want you yeah. . . But we would never force you." _

Hakkai sighed as he rinsed out his hair.

_But how do I feel? _

Deep down, the brunette wasn't sure what he felt for the two men. They opened a door for him, and he had to decide where he wanted to go with it. Admittedly, he found them both attractive, not feeling ashamed in the slightest at admitting that little fact. He wasn't in love but . . . He felt this striking affection and dare he say . . . Arousal whenever he was around them both. There were times over the week he could have sworn either of them were staring at him. However, by the time Hakkai went to confirm it, they had turned away or made it look like they hadn't been looking at all. He briefly wondered where he stood if he didn't go through with this. He already had sex with Gojyo. . . Twice. He knew that he would not at any time be able to treat the man the same way again without thinking about the intimacy between them and vice versa. He at no time wanted to make it awkward, especially for someone he cared about as a true friend.

_Well. . . He's more than a friend now. . . _

Hakkai groaned and let his head gently tap against the tile wall under the spray. He thought to himself how at least he had not had sex with Sanzo yet, lest he makes it even more awkward between them all. Gojyo and Sanzo didn't seem very romantic toward one another, if anything, no one would suspect what they did when alone or in the bedroom.

_"But our relationship was becoming a bit lacking as of late. . . " _

That was something else that made Hakkai think. Why him? What made him so special?

_"To be honest, I wanted to fuck you the moment, I saw you in your office. Sanzo too actually, you can be all he talks about some moments if we're on the subject."_

Blushing, the brunette pushed away from the wall and wiped his eyes of the water.

_I need to think more about this. I need to be very smart about this. . . _

Hakkai shook his head as he looked to the side, rubbing his chin in thought.

_"So as soon as we saw you, we both kinda . . . Wanted you." _

He decided that most of all he just wanted to go slow. He felt he had already destroyed that promise with the spontaneous sex with Gojyo, and he had no clue how to handle Sanzo. The blond was still a mystery to him, and he didn't know how to act around him or even what his true nature really was. He was becoming some kind of bond between these two, and the brunette did not want to ruin what these two men held for each other. Whether it is only sex or maybe Gojyo felt more for Sanzo or vice versa. Hakkai would never forgive himself if he drove the detectives apart.

Hakkai relaxed under the spray as he let his thoughts carry him away. As he rinsed off his body wash, he briefly heard the bathroom door unfastened quietly and remained ajar. Hakkai in order not to nearly faint from the heat left the sliding glass shower door open. The sudden cool air of Gojyo's room made goose bumps crawl up Hakkai's back, and he shivered as he rubbed his arms. He turned to see what Gojyo could want when he froze, his hands buried in his wet hair. His green eyes widened at the person who was certainly not Gojyo standing outside the door.

Leaning against the door frame, Genjyo Sanzo stared at him with those damn deep purple eyes. Neither spoke as the only sound in the room was the shower going. Seeing Hakkai's shivers, Sanzo closed the door . . . With him still in the bathroom. He flicked his half-smoked cigarette in the sink as he almost casually eyed Hakkai's naked form from the see through shower doors.

"You've been in here so long that Gojyo thought you drowned," his deep voice said. Hakkai felt his face heat up as Sanzo never removed his gaze from him.

"O-oh, s-sorry, I'm almost done," the brunette said quickly, turning away from that intense gaze.

_This man is just unpredictable. . ._

_"...As soon as we saw you, we both kinda . . . Wanted you."_

Hakkai's heart rate sped up at the remembered words sped up in his chest. Sanzo made a noise of thought as the sound of something hitting the floor caught Hakkai's attention. Shyly Hakkai looked over his wet shoulder and felt his stomach fall to the stall floor. Sanzo was working on his belt as his already discarded shirt was on the floor. Flawlessly white skin gleamed from the bathroom light as rows of stomach muscle tensed and released as the blond worked on his belt. Hakkai didn't move, frozen to the spot as Sanzo kicked off his boxers, standing impeccably naked in front of Hakkai. Sanzo caught his gaze as a shiver of both fear and desire seemed to coat his stomach. Embarrassed beyond belief Hakkai raised his arms and almost tried to blend with the tile of the shower stall as he hugged his upper body.

_S-So much for trying to take this slow! _

"S-Sanzo . . . W-what are you doing?" He asked quietly, not looking at the other. Sanzo made a grunting noise as he approached the shower, not embarrassed about his nakedness in the slightest.

"I thought that part was obvious," Sanzo said in a gruff voice. Hakkai bit his lip as the blond closed the stall door behind him, nearly pressing Hakkai into the wall. Frozen to the spot he almost flinched when Sanzo ran his hand up his back from the base of his spine to his neck line. Hakkai closed his eyes as the hand went back down to gently skin across and around his hip. The touch made him shiver as he looked over his shoulder at the blond. Sanzo's gaze followed his own hand as he seemed to be testing the brunette's skin. A sudden look came to his purple eyes as his face never changed, a deep emotion hidden beneath the surface but waiting to emerge.

"Still sore?" he asked Hakkai. Confused by the question for a moment, Hakkai turned to fully look at Sanzo. The water made the room steam as wetness dripped off of Sanzo's bangs. His hair quickly became soaked, and Hakkai couldn't help but flick his eyes down Sanzo's body for just a moment, trying not to stare or at least make it obvious.

"A-a little?" the brunette seemed to whisper, not removing his gaze from Sanzo's. The blond tilted his head as he reached out and set both his hands on either side of the brunette's hips against the shower wall.

"Hmm, it will have to do," he mumbled more to himself. Hakkai gasped as Sanzo almost crushed his body against the shower wall. The brunette let out a sound as the blond caught his lips in a rough but powerful kiss. Hakkai felt water travel down his back as a hand glided down it and set itself on his hip. Sanzo made a gruff noise before pulling back, his eyes looking like a cat.

"S-Sanzo. . . W-wait a minute," Hakkai tried to say. The golden haired male ignored him as a firm hand went between his legs and carefully probed his still semi-sore entrance. Hakkai gasped and bucked, unintentionally rubbing up against the fair-haired man.

"You can take it," the blond whispered into his ear. Hakkai blushed horribly as a finger pushed inside of him, all the way to the knuckle. Hakkai let out a pained moan as his stretched entrance very reluctantly took the finger all the way in. Sanzo worked his lips over the column of Hakkai's throat as the brunette's hands found purchase up and around Sanzo's neck. The intense feelings of both pain and pleasure threw Hakkai off as the finger rubbed against his sex abused walls. Arousal subdued him as a hard suck to his neck caused him to almost fall to the floor of the shower. Sanzo grunted and pulled out his finger from Hakkai's entrance. The brunette panted as Sanzo pulled back and surprisingly, captured his lips. The kiss was needy and hot as hands grabbed his hips and lifted him slightly off the floor. For the fear of slipping, Hakkai grabbed the towel bar on the side of the stall as his legs shook.

"Wrap your legs around my waist," he husked against Hakkai's cheek.

Complying Hakkai gained back his balance as only Sanzo's strength held him up. Feeling something bump against his entrance the brunette gasped as Sanzo ran the tip of his cock along the crack of the other's ass. Feeling embarrassed Hakkai squeezed his eyes shut. Sanzo above him smirked at the rapid flush on Hakkai's face. Not being able to help himself, Sanzo raised his hand and let it run through the brunette's bangs. Hakkai briefly opened his eyes as Sanzo looked down at him. Water ran over both their faces, both their temperatures rising with the heat of the shower. Sanzo moved closer until he was near the shell of the brunette's ear.

"Hakkai," he whispered, thrusting his hips forward.

Hakkai's head hit the wall behind him as the blond speared him in one thrust. Being stretched so suddenly after his sessions with Gojyo made tears come to his eyes. He clenched his jaw and clenched the hair at the base of Sanzo's skull. Grunting at the rough treatment, Sanzo began his thrusting and Hakkai began his moaning. The thrusts were powerful, more so than Gojyo's. His back smacked against wet tiles as the blond buried his face into his neck and let out his own moans. Hakkai cried out as his arms tightened around Sanzo's neck. Pleasure assaulted him as much as the pain did, and together it made everything spin wildly in his stomach. He wasn't hard when they started but now his slightly red erection swelled and was trapped between their stomachs. Hakkai couldn't help the whimper that escaped him as his clenched his teeth, tears running down his face. The heat from the shower made his head spin and his groin ache as he took thrust after thrust from Sanzo. The blond clenched his hips tightly and Hakkai knew somewhere in the back of his mind that he would be bruised. The thrusting suddenly slowed as Sanzo leaned back a bit to examine him. Hakkai panted harshly as the cock inside him went slightly deeper but moved at a slower pace. The blond smirked at his disheveled appearance and bucked his hips hard. Hakkai snapped his head back and cried out loudly into the room. His knees shook around Sanzo's waist as the blond delivered a few more of those thrusts.

"Better than I imagined," Sanzo suddenly said as he closed his eyes. Hakkai tried to pull himself together, but the blond wasn't letting up. The brunette felt pain somewhere deep inside him, but his prostate was being abused to the point where it was covering it up. Hakkai's fingers spasms at the base of Sanzo's neck as the tell-tale signs of orgasm were swiftly approaching.

"It hurts; it's too much . . . I'm going to come!" Hakkai whimpered out as his thighs trembled. Sanzo let out a low moan as he captured Hakkai's lips. Hakkai bucked as his breath quickened, and he struggled not to throw Sanzo almost off of him. Orgasm hit Hakkai as he cried out, arching against the blond and releasing all over his stomach. Sanzo's own breath hitched as the brunette closed his eyes, feeling a warm coat his insides. Both men panted harshly as Sanzo's face was buried into Hakkai's neck. Staring at the wall above Sanzo's shoulder, Hakkai let his arms nearly slip off the blond's neck as a sudden tiredness hit him. He lowered his legs until his feet hit the floor, and Sanzo pulled back slightly. Both men slipped to the floor as they looked at each other with hazy eyes. Sanzo's face held a different emotion then, almost soft in comparison to his usual looks. Hakkai's brain was fuzzy as he tried to quell the now full-fledged pain raging up his backside.

_I've never seen that look before. . . It's so. . . Handsome. . . _

Unable to help himself, Hakkai raised his hand and let it run over the side of the blond's face. Sanzo's eyes became sharper as he surprised Hakkai and turned and nuzzled into the hand touching his face.

"Sanzo . . . " Hakkai said weakly, his hand starting to fall.

_I'm so tired. . . _

Hakkai's eyes lowered as the water from the spray cooled and became cold.

"Hakkai . . . " Sanzo said just as quietly back.

Hakkai's hand was quickly caught as Sanzo leaned forward, capturing his mouth in a soft and surprisingly tender kiss.

_How . . . Should I feel?_

* * *

_TBC_


	12. The day after is

**Chapter 12: The day after is...**

* * *

After the shower, Hakkai thought he was about to collapse. Sanzo dried them both off and clothed Hakkai before tucking him back into Gojyo's bed. The brunette fell asleep almost immediately. Later in the living room Sanzo and Gojyo sat staring at the bedroom door, wondering how Hakkai was doing.

"Sheesh, how hard did you ride him?" Gojyo asked, opening his beer. Sanzo gave him a glare before taking a sip of his own coffee. It was only half hearted though, seeing as he just got some action.

"I didn't treat him that rough; you forget you had him before I did," the blond said, looking out the window. The red head smirked before taking a long sip of his beer.

"So was it better than you thought. Honesty he's still a little shy, but far better than that piece of shit we talked about back at the upside precinct," he mentioned. Sanzo really glared at him this time.

"You chose that trash, I told you he was trash from the beginning you dick," he mentioned.

"Yeah yeah. . . Keep your dress on. Well, so much for going slow. But damn, I need to stop drinking so much. But fuck, he was irresistible; you should have seen him," the red head nearly purred. Sanzo's lip quirked before he turned toward his coffee.

"Don't talk about him like he's an object moron. I told you to take time but like always, you rushed in with your dick's head first . . . Literally, and metaphorically," the blond mentioned.

"Hey, my dick hasn't led me wrong yet. And not to mention, it was you who started the sexual tension between us, remember?" Gojyo said with a smirk.

"I needed to get laid, and you were there. Stop making such a deal about it," Sanzo said, not looking away from the television that was on mute.

"Two years of partnership and you still talk to me, am I a miracle worker or what?" Gojyo waved his hand.

"You're a dick either way," Sanzo retorted. It was nearing almost ten when Sanzo got up and looked in on Hakkai. The brunette was nestled deep in the blankets, snoring slightly. Gojyo waited for the bedroom door to close before he spoke.

"He's been sleeping anyway, but I think he forgot to take that little pill the doctor gave him," Gojyo mentioned, getting up to get another beer.

"Was he taking it when you spent the night last time at his place?" Sanzo asked, standing there and crossing his arms.

"Yeah, but he still stayed up almost the entire night. You should have seen the bags under his eyes," the red head said from his kitchen. Sanzo heard the sound of another beer being opened before he turned back to the TV. He frowned when he saw almost no signs of sunshine on the weather channel.

"So how are we going to go through this anyway?" Gojyo said, coming from the kitchen.

"Hakkai? Like I said, take time," the blond repeated. Gojyo groaned and slumped onto the couch.

"But I'm impatient. Don't get me wrong, I like the guy enough to go slow. But every time I lay my eyes on him now, all I'm going to think about is last night!" he complained.

"Like I'm not going to think about what I did with him in the shower?" Sanzo asked, looking annoyed. Gojyo smirked and took a drag from his now lit cigarette.

"What did you do in the shower?" he asked slyly, wiggling his eyebrows. Sanzo raised an eyebrow at him before giving him his back.

"None of your business," he mumbled. Gojyo was about to protest when a sudden noise interrupted them. Gojyo had forgotten to turn his cell to vibrate as it rang loudly on his kitchen table. Sanzo hissed at him to get it as the red head scrambled off the couch. As soon as it was pressed to his ear did Sanzo check on Hakkai to make sure the noise had not woken him up. He sighed in relief to see the brunette still sleeping. He closed the door and looked at Gojyo, who was frowning into his phone.

"Where was it found?" he said into the device. Sanzo sat on the couch and listened closely. Gojyo pulled at the bottom of his hair and sighed.

"All right, we'll be in tonight, but what about. . . ?" he started to ask. His eyes narrowed as he growled into the phone.

"Then why can't Homura's squad pick up the slack? He's always bragging about how good he is!" the red head almost yelled. He growled into the phone as the voice on the other end continued to talk.

"Fine, we'll be there," he said finally. He snapped his phone shut and ran his hand through his bangs.

"Sanzo . . . They found another victim," he said finally.

* * *

_Bodies danced and moved against each other in a rhythm. He stood in the crowd, watching them wave like fish in a net. Someone moved against him as he turned to look around. Lights flickered, causing him to blink rapidly, unused to the scenery. The noise echoed around him as he stepped from the crowd down a deserted hallway. As if some large door slammed behind him, he was left in silence._

_Looking around he turned into a circle and observed the room._

_A fish tank, spacious carpet, a large oak desk. . . Zebra painted couches. . ._

* * *

Hakkai awoke to a ringing phone. Recognizing it as Gojyo's, he sighed and buried his face into the pillow. He heard the door open ajar, knowing that Sanzo must have been checking up on him had heard the door close before he let his eyes come unclosed. His body ached, and he was still tired but knew if he slept any longer, he wouldn't be sleeping tonight. He heard muffled talking through the door and carefully rose from the bed. The sheets pooled around his waist as he rubbed his eyes and nose. He blinked away the sleep as he stood and walked toward the door. He had planned to go into the living room but heard a frustrated voice on the other side. He pressed his ear to the door and listened to the voices on the other side.

_"Sanzo . . . They found another victim,"_ Gojyo said in a defeated voice.

Hakkai froze against the door and pressed his ear harder against the wood.

_"Was it the Rainy Day case?"_ he heard Sanzo ask.

_"They're not ruling it out, but the way the victim was found they're saying it looked like a mafia job. The body had been sitting for what seemed more over a week. Besides the body was found near the rail tracks over by city hall. No one every goes into that side of the county. No doubt it was probably the Hyakugan mafia,"_ Gojyo talked lowly.

_"Chin Yisou's old man retired to Florida earlier this year. Chin has been running around like the city is his playground now that daddy isn't here to make him his errand boy,"_ Sanzo spoke.

_"Probably uses all that protection money to fund his club downtown. I think it's called The Centipede; I've drunk there a few times. It's a shit hole full of thugs,"_ the red head mentioned.

_"Drug busts have been salvaged there, but we can't send anyone under cover to see if there is a connection with the Rainy Day case. Sounds like to me that Chin just copies the murders for kicks."_

_"Shit, why can't we send anyone in?"_ Gojyo asked.

_"Some say Chin Yisou has men on the inside. He's got deep pockets and lots of his father's friends in the law offices. No doubt he knows about every under cover cop we have. Even the ones who haven't graduated from the academy yet,"_ the blond answered.

_"Damn. . . We're in a pickle and up to our knees in this shit. They want us to question a few witnesses who were hanging around the murder site. Lots of bums and drug dealers and a few hookers. . . That I'm looking forward to actually,"_ he mentioned.

_"You're a pig in more than one sense,"_ Sanzo muttered.

Hakkai backed away from the door and felt his head fill. He knocked his brain for every piece of evidence that had come in or under the name, Hyakugan. He bit his lip as he remembered crime photos of drug busts in the upper offices of the club The Centipede. His mind could only cast vague images since the evidence had been taken years ago. He slipped back into Gojyo's bed and decided to mull over it in his sleep. Another person had died this week, and Hakkai mourned that unknown soul.

* * *

He had expected a reaction when he stepped into the living room. He wasn't sure what kind, but he knew he would get one. He woke up around noon to Gojyo's smiling face and a small heated look from Sanzo. The blond told him to get something to eat while Gojyo smirked and asked him how he was feeling. Hakkai had never felt his face go so red. He ate while both talked about the weather and some details about the case. Hakkai had been surprised that they all acted really normal, but he feared the awkwardness more than anything. As he tried to walk to the bedroom to wash his face, Gojyo snagged him and pulled him on the couch, asking him seriously if he was sore or needed an aspirin. Hakkai had been touched by the sentiment and answered honestly. Hakkai wasn't sure what to label them all yet, but he figured they could all figure it out along the way.

He was still in his pajamas and didn't feel like getting dressed. Around two they both helped him pack his bag and drove him back to his apartment. They explained to him about Gojyo's phone call but left out a lot of details. Hakkai suddenly felt guilty for listening in, but he hid it well when they worried over not being able to watch him. It was raining hard, and they all arrived soaked to the brunette's apartment. Gojyo had showered back at his place so Hakkai sent Sanzo into the bathroom and took all their wet clothes to dry. He laundered them while Sanzo showered, and Gojyo shaved.

The clothes were fresh again as they sat folded on the back of Hakkai's leather couch. The brunette stood at the window now, hugging his elbows. The rain fell as he watched people scramble to get to shelter on the streets below. Thunder rumbled, and he could feel it go straight through to his bones. He turned his head as he watched the droplets travel down the window and disappear into the abyss below. He knew he would be left alone tonight and for some reason. . . The thought of it scared him more than anything. A chill came to his bones even through the heavy orange sweater he wore along with his dark-blue jeans. His hair hung loose about his face, and as he breathed, it moved. He heard footsteps behind him and looked at the reflection in the window glass. Sanzo stood there, running a towel through his hair as he wore only a pair of loose pajama pants that Hakkai had left out for him. He held back a blush as those intense purple eyes focused on him at the window. Sanzo walked over, throwing the towel on the back of an arm chair.

"I was talking with Gojyo in the bathroom; we don't think it wise for you to leave the apartment while we're gone," he said, standing next to the brunette. Hakkai nodded, thinking he would hear those words sooner or later.

"I had a feeling you and Gojyo would come to that decision," he said calmly. Sanzo was about to light a cigarette when he suddenly dropped it to his side.

"We don't intend to make you feel like a prisoner," he said, looking at the brunette. Hakkai didn't look back, but he wasn't frowning.

"It's all right, and I've kept you both from the real work long enough. I don't feel like a captive nor do I want you to feel like you need to worry about me. I have all I need here; I don't exactly have anywhere to go or the desire to find trouble," he said. Hakkai turned to look at Sanzo, his deep green eyes truthful and honest.

"Both of you . . . Have done so much for me already. I guess my hospitality is the only way I am truly able to thank you both," he said quietly.

Sanzo's face was that blank emotion that Hakkai always had trouble identifying. The blond dropped his lighter and cigarette and approached Hakkai. The brunette blinked in confusion as he was suddenly embraced tightly by a slightly wet Sanzo. The sudden smell of apricot shampoo assaulted his senses as a warmth spread around his waist where Sanzo had his built arms hooked. His face was in a slightly pale shoulder to the point where he could still taste the steam from the shower. He backed up a little to see intense violet eyes staring back at him.

"Sanzo?" He asked. The blond smirked before leaning closer to his face.

"One of these days, your kindness is going to get you into trouble," he whispered.

Hakkai would have questioned it if his lips weren't otherwise occupied. Sanzo kissed him deeply, leaning his body against the cool glass of the window. A probing tongue didn't wait as it sprang forward and tasted every crevice of the brunette's mouth. Hakkai closed his eyes as the tongue rubbed against his own, making heat pull into his stomach. The arms around his waist tightened for a moment before they softly became gentle and moved to hold his hips. The tongue receded, and a simple light kiss was set on his lips before they pulled away. Hakkai opened his eyes and blinked with a flush as Sanzo's gaze bore into his own. The hands on his hips caressed his sides softly once more before letting him go. Sanzo turned abruptly while slowly Hakkai hugged his elbows, trying to figure out what the kiss had meant.

"You don't kiss very often do you?" Sanzo asked, picking up his cigarette and lighter from the floor. Hakkai cleared his throat, willing down his blush.

"Uh, no, I can't say I . . . Indulge too much in the act," he almost whispered. Sanzo made a noise before he finally decided to light his cigarette.

"Good, keep it that way," he said.

Hakkai's eyes widened as he watched the blond walk toward his clothing and pick them up before going to the bedroom to change. The brunette could only fathom in some strange way that it was Sanzo's way of saying. . .

Don't go kissing anyone else. . .

* * *

Both Gojyo and Sanzo were ready, by the time they had to leave. Sanzo stood by the doorway while Gojyo stood in front of Hakkai. The scarlet head was acting fidgety, and it confused the brunette beyond belief. Finally, the red head reached into his coat and pulled something out. If it weren't for the table behind him, Hakkai would have fully stepped away from Gojyo. In the other man's hand was a small hand gun.

"Gojyo?" Hakkai questioned. The red head looked at him so seriously that Hakkai wondered if somehow Sanzo had taken over the other's body.

"Hakkai, we're not going to be here for a few days. For some reason, the chief isn't sending anyone to watch you. So promise me you'll hold onto this for me. . . For us," the red head asked of him. The brunette looked over to Sanzo, and the man didn't look like he was taking this as a joke. He looked at Gojyo almost desperately.

"You can't be serious?" he asked almost in fear. Gojyo shook his head and set the gun on the table beside Hakkai.

"I am, and we are. I know you know how to use one. Everyone at the station has brief gun training. But Kai, I'm asking you to keep it in case anything happens," the red head explained. The brunette looked unsure as he stared at the piece on the table. He didn't even want to look at it, so much as keep it in his apartment.

"But!" he tried.

"Bullshit! We are not leaving you unarmed!" Sanzo finally said from the doorway. Hakkai swallowed the nervousness down before looking back at the gun. He picked it up quickly and walked over to his kitchen draw near the fridge. He slipped it in on top of some envelopes and almost slammed the draw shut. He felt a body behind him as Gojyo leaned over his shoulder and kissed the side of his neck. Hakkai closed his eyes as he felt the warmth of Gojyo's lips leave something on his skin.

"Just give us some peace of mind that it's here Kai," he seemed to beg quietly. Hakkai willed his heart to stop beating so hard as he looked at the red head. Gojyo's crimson eyes looked at him in a way that also seemed to be begging. Hakkai took a shaky breath and nodded reluctantly, some of his hair getting in front of his eyes from the motion.

"All right, just. . . Take care of each other Gojyo, I can watch myself," Hakkai breathed. Gojyo smiled and nodded with a wink, the true Gojyo coming through. The red head reached up and brushed the hair away from his eyes.

"You bet babe," he said cheekily with a large smile. Hakkai finally let himself smile but almost squeaked in surprise as Gojyo quickly caught his lips for a kiss before walking toward Sanzo. The blond glared at his partner before giving a nod to the shell-shocked Hakkai. The door closed, and Hakkai evened out his breathing. He walked away from the kitchen to the window and watched Sanzo's car go down the road. He heard thunder crash through the sky as everyone on the sidewalk walked to their destinations.

* * *

Later in the evening Hakkai decided to mope would get him no where. He forced himself to get something to eat and cleaned the bathroom. Wet towels were hung over his sink which Hakkai laughed at. Every time Gojyo showered; he left them on the floor of hung over the shower wall. Sanzo seemed to be a bit more considerate. The sink near the toilet still had bits of Gojyo's stubble and was surprised to see the hair a tad darker than the man's normal red hair. After everything was clean, it started to get dark out. Still not tired, but after everything that had happened today he decided to try to sleep early. He took his pill in hopes that maybe it would kick in while he was in the middle of something. He scanned his bookshelves, but nothing caught his eye; his mind kept going back to the stupid gun in his kitchen cabinet. It bothered him greatly, for some reason, for it to be there. He decided to surf the internet instead, maybe the computer screen light will make him drowsy.

As he sat down near his wide window, he suddenly remembered his office at the station. He wondered if it had been cleaned up, or they wanted to wait for him to be back from his leave. He sighed as he realized he would be needing a new computer as well. He suddenly remembered his dream and what it could be telling him. Clicking to the station link he connected with his work computer and began going through some old evidence files. Everything he clicked on was confidential but with a simple password, he could access them unlike normal personnel. He searched everything with the key words' Chin Yisou or Hyakugan. Crime scene photos of drug busts or Chin's arrest records came up. He scrolled down to the bust photos, and his eyes widened.

A large oak desk . . . Fish tank . . . Spacious carpet . . . A zebra textured armchair and couch.

Hakkai swallowed and pushed back from the computer. His mind buzzed as everything in his dream seemed to become a reality. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and decided to type in the club, The Centipede.

Pictures of the logo came up along with pictures of lines of people outside. It wasn't an exclusive club, and more like a hangout for thugs and mafia members along with the general public. Powering down the computer, he sat and stared at the wall. He felt this deep nagging inside of him that he could not identify. Every fiber of his being telling him to go there, to get answers, but he knew it was suicidal. He promised Gojyo and Sanzo, he wouldn't leave the apartment. He promised not to go looking for trouble and to stay at home. He bit his lip as he finally felt the pill take effect. It was pitch black out now as he logged off the computer and decided to go to bed. Walking to the bedroom, his stomach clenched, but he ignored it. Everything in his brain was a mess as he struggled to understand himself and the dreams. The dreams weren't normal, and he was very sure of that. He had this strong urge to read up on dream psychology or call his therapist to simply talk to her.

He wondered if he was dreading on the line of paranormal, that the dreams were something else entirely.

He dressed for bed as he slipped under the cold covers, listening to the rain on the skylight window. He closed his eyes and briefly wondered if the detectives were thinking about him as much as he was them.

* * *

TBC


	13. The Centipede

**Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki or any of the characters. **

**I finally fixed this chapter after re-typing it like three times. Stupid computer.**

**Chapter 13: The Centipede**

* * *

_Everybody moved around him in a cloud of limbs and leather. People pushed against him as he was caught in a tidal wave of movement. His heart beat faster as the heat of bodies became too much for him, and he pushed against them to get out. He walked through the crowd and the crowd suddenly split like the red sea. Hakkai looked ahead of him and blinked in confusion._

_Another brunette stood in front of him, looking for all the world seriously. Hakkai stared at a mirror reflection of himself as the figure approached him. The brunette watched as his duplicate reached behind him and into his shirt. Hakkai was silent as his double pulled out the gun Gojyo had given him. The double approached him with a gentle smile._

_"It's okay; you can do this," he said. Hakkai stared at the other in confusion._

_"What?" Hakkai asked. The other came closer and grabbed his wrist. Hakkai gulped as his duplicate pressed the gun into his hand. Hakkai stared at it, lost on its purpose as he looked to the double._

_"I-I don't understand," he said. His double smiled kindly and moved into his space. His twin embraced him and placed a warm hand over the one holding the gun._

_"Do this, find the truth . . . Do this for her . . . For us," he begged. Hakkai closed his eyes and shook his head._

_"For . . . What?" He questioned. The embrace got tighter as a voice whispered in his ear._

_"For her..."_

* * *

Hakkai woke up groggy and confused, his stomach winded in hard knots. Sitting up in bed, he ran his fingers over his forehead and looked out his window. For the first time in days the sun almost broke through the clouds, and the brunette hoped the detectives weren't out in the rain last night. His dream slammed into his skull as he moved his body and set his feet on the floor. He rubbed at his eyes as he shakily licked at his dry lips.

"What...Is going on?" he whispered to himself.

Standing up he walked to his kitchen to fix himself some morning tea. He glanced to the side as the tea pot boiled to the side drawer in his kitchen. Hakkai's green eyes were only half open as his dream came back to him. This one seemed so significant and he couldn't help but feel it was edging him toward something. His dreams had always been mysteries or de ja vue...But now they had taken form and had begun speaking to him. He swallowed the saliva in his mouth as he removed the tea pot from the stove. His other hand on its own accord drifted to the draw and opened it. He picked up the small device and held it about an eye level, examining it.

"It's okay; you can do this."

The brunette bit his lip as he opened the barrel and looked inside. The design was similar to Sanzo's gun, containing six slots and not much larger than a human hand. Taking his tea, Hakkai set it on the table as he closed the gun and spun the barrel. Like in every cop movie he had seen he lifted the gun to test his aim. His arm shook with just the thought of needing to use it. He sighed and set the gun down on the table as he took a sip of his tea. He had no idea what to do.

His heart was telling him to do something radical. Hakkai had never been involved with investigations or even in the field. He stayed where he had been needed, he didn't interview people; he collected evidence. Very rarely was he called to the field where victims had died. He dusted for prints, bagged evidence, gave evidence to court or submitted it to the lawyers...He had never been actually involved with suspects!

Chin Yisou was a dangerous man; he was a mobster with no respect to human life. He dealt drugs and killed people for a living. This man was smart and knew what to expect from people who wanted to get close to him. No doubt Yisou was the man who had personally killed so many, but for some reason, or another he was involved with the Rainy Day case, or not even at all which was driving not only the police mad, but Hakkai himself.

"What does he have to gain from killing people the same way the killer does? Are they connected, but he is much more sloppy about getting rid of the bodies?"

Hakkai hugged his elbows as he walked from the kitchen to the living room and sat down on the couch.

"I could get killed. This case has nothing to do with me but...Why do I feel like I need to do this?" he asked himself. He held his tea as he walked to the windows and looked to the city below. His gut churned with just the thought of what he might have to do or...What he wanted to do.

_"Do this, find the truth...Do this for her...For us."_

"For her?" Hakkai asked himself. He shook his head as he closed his eyes.

For some reason, Hakkai was on the victims list. He had never had an encounter with the killer, but he was a target. No one knew why the man targeted people with no connection to each other, but he did. It would be suicidal for him to leave the safety of police protection and even worse leave his apartment.

"I can't believe I'm considering this..."

* * *

Hakkai rode in the back of the taxi as a light drizzle coated the city. He shifted slightly on the seat as the sound of his pants against the leather of the seat made a squeak. He pushed back his bangs as he adjusted his glasses and removed a sweaty patch from the back of his neck. As he arrived at his destination, he stepped out and moved to the driver's side to pay the man. As he handed the cabby the money, the man gave him a once over.

"You can ride in my cab anytime gorgeous," he winked. Hakkai took the compliment with a fake smile as he backed up.

"Thank you," he said politely, managing to hide his grimace. The cabby gave a chuckle as Hakkai watched him pull off the curb. The brunette took a breath as he took out a pocket mirror and examined himself. He had gone shopping earlier and bought a hair kit, turning his natural chocolate-brown to a dirty blond that could easily be washed out. The clothes he wore would be thrown out after tonight, but Hakkai almost considered keeping them. Never in his life would he have purchased a pair of leather pants. He felt terribly exposed as the leather clung to his skin from both rain and sweat. His dress shirt was buttoned up to the collar bone with a black jacket over that. His shoes clicked against the sidewalk as he headed for his destination. He knew he was crazy. He knew he was walking into a dangerous situation, but he felt like he had to. He was breaking his promise to stay safe as he knew it would kill him to keep it a secret.

And he prayed to god, he didn't have to use the gun now strapped between his belt and his backside. He walked to the corner and peeked from behind a building. The light of the neon sign above him made him squint.

_''{:}(-){:}(-){:}THE CENTIPEDE{:}(-){:}(-){:}''_

The sign was more obnoxious than anything. It looked cheaply made with absolutely no thought about the artistic value. Various parts of the sign blinked in different colors before eventually all of them lighting up and blinking. Hakkai watched as people hung out outside the club, smoking, talking or making out against the building. The building itself looked run down with no visible windows. It was just a large brick building looking worse for wear in this shit hole part of the city.

He spied a large bouncer by the door who was looking at anyone and everyone. He wasn't denying people entry, which was good; Hakkai would be able to enter.

He hid back behind the building and put his hand on his chest. His heart was beating faster than he would have liked. Tonight he would have to become a whole different person and put his shyness to the side if he wanted to get through this.

"I'm suicidal," he whispered to himself again. He cleared his thoughts and licked his lips as the drizzle started to slowly turn into rain. Walking toward the entrance, Hakkai prayed his looks would be to his advantage. Deciding to test the theory he began to walk past the bouncer into the club. He gave the man his best sultry smile, and the guy's eyebrows went up as he passed. The man continued to stare at him as he lifted up his sunglasses for a better look.

"Damn . . . " the guard whispered.

Hakkai breathed a relieved sigh as the man watched him until he fully entered the club. Hakkai stopped as soon as he went through the blacked out doors. The club was every bit he had seen in his dream. The lights above his head flashed in sync with the music as people danced in droves. The dance floor was substantial, covering most of the floor. A sizable bar was situated on the right side while a small lounge area was more toward the back, filled with couches and drinking couples and singles. The bathrooms were toward the back near what looked like a large set of stairs leading upwards. Hakkai instantly recognized the offices above as the place the evidence clerks had taken pictures of during the last drug bust. The door that concealed the offices was guarded by a large suit, wearing the same glasses as the bouncer outside.

Hakkai decided to sit at the bar and make a game plan. He sat down and ordered a drink, hoping that maybe it would calm his nerves. He felt the gun press against his lower back as he took a sip of his liquor. The music changed and what looked like to be college girls took up the floor and moved with each other. All their eyes would flash to the couches were a group of about four men sat watching them and drinking their beers. The brunette looked around a little more as his mind raced to what he was going to do to get up into the offices, tonight's objective was clear to him now...

Finding Chin Yisou...As far as what Hakkai wanted to do when he found him was a whole other matter.

He watched the floor for a little longer as his one drink turned into two. The lights flickered, and something caught the edge of Hakkai's vision. It was a small alcove with a personal mini bar and different lights then the rest of the club. Two suited men stood near the entrance to the alcove, talking to each other but watching their surroundings carefully. Hakkai's green eyes blinked through the strobe lights and colors to make out a figure in the small sophisticated area. A man was sitting in a separate booth away from the dance floor. The brunette stood from his stool after putting some money on the counter. He walked closer to the area without seeming like he was curious. He chose instead to lean near a pillar, decorated with more strobe lights and neon signs. He peered closer and his heart nearly stopped at who was in the VIP area.

_Chin Yisou!_

Chin Yisou sat on a large lounge couch, watching the college girls dance. Hakkai's breath caught as the man from all the mug shots came to life. He was every bit as sharp looking through the photos, but not in the sense of fashionably able. His face reminded Hakkai of a pointed knife, right down to the shape of his serpent like eyes. His hair was bushy at the top, much the way Kougaiji styles his. A long gray pony tail stuck out on the back of his neck, resting on the back of a fine vanilla colored suit. Hakkai suddenly felt a hint of nervousness hit his gut as he slowly went back to the bar.

The lights suddenly dimmed as a much faster song took to the air. Hakkai looked back to the college girls and saw one of them getting on top of a small dance area near the DJ booth. She was very attractive, wearing a slim dress that complimented her wild mane of jet-black hair. She moved in time to the music as her friends cheered from the audience, and several men made cat calls and encouragements. Hakkai let his eyes go back to Chin Yisou, who seemed to have perked at the sight of the young girl. He watched her dance with fascination and called one of his goons over. He whispered into the man's ear and sure enough pointed at the girl.

Sitting at the bar, Hakkai heard the song end, and the girl was helped down from the stage. The suit came up to her and spoke to her while her friends watched, in earnest. She smiled brightly and walked with the suited man, getting many looks of jealousy along the way. She was led to Chin Yisou, who greeted her and pulled her onto his couch, whispering in her ear and gently running a pale hand down her thigh. Hakkai felt his inside coat in disgust at the display and hoped the girl knew what she was getting herself into. She seemed to as she latched her arms around him and started nibbling on his ear. In turn Yisou latched onto her neck and eagerly sucked at. Hakkai couldn't hear the noises from here, but he imagined they probably weren't pleasant. He guessed they weren't, by the way, the guards near the alcove grimaced in disgust, the other making a gagging motion toward his comrade.

Another song came on, and it seemed another female had gained some courage and stepped onto the stage. Her clothing was much more revealing, but her hair was short and cropped nearly with a long braid going down the back. She moved well in high heels, and it seemed it was her bust size that attracted most of her attention. Hakkai vaguely thought she must have been a stripper; her moves proved it along with the sultry looks she gave the audience.

_I wonder..._

Hakkai looked to Chin Yisou and sure enough; the man was looking up from his current toy's neck. He still sucked on the skin, but he watched the other woman closely. He must have liked what he saw because he pulled back and aside from his current girl. Calling a guard over, he waved his hand and had her taken away. She huffed angrily at him and gave him dirty looks and comments as she was dragged out. He sent his other suit to go get the new girl who held his attention.

"It seems he can't stay occupied for very long when something much more beautiful comes along," Hakkai whispered.

He stood from the bar and decided he needed a quiet place to think. He was mildly surprised to see that Chin had already grown tired of his new girl and dismissed her to sit brooding on his couch. Heading for the bathrooms, Hakkai slipped in and sighed at the quiet space, it seemed to have sound proof walls. Walking to the mirror Hakkai noticed his cheeks were a little flushed from the alcohol and atmosphere. Sweat clung to his brow, and he raised his hand to wipe it away. Turning on the tap, he splashed water over his face to gather his thoughts.

_Okay . . . Chin seems not able to stay with one woman for too long. He gets women who look sexy and a bit trashy. I just hope that his tastes don't stay in only the female gender..._

Hakkai looked at himself and moved his hair certain ways. Many had always told him he was attractive, but he wasn't . . . Breath taking. He bit his lip and debated whether or not he should go home and re-think the whole thing. He needed to get Chin's attention enough to get him alone, but how?

The bathroom door opened and a young male stepped in, wearing black from head to toe. He was thin and a bit short and for a moment, Hakkai thought he was a high school kid. The natural brunette pretended to wash his hands as the youth set a small bag on the counter and opened it. The boy reached in and pulled out some eyeliner. Hakkai watched intently as the boy opened it and proceeded to go over his eyes with it.

Hakkai suddenly remembered the amount of makeup the women had worn and bit his lip.

_I wonder...Maybe if I..._

Taking a breath and putting on a smile Hakkai approached the boy.

"Excuse me," he said kindly. The boy stopped and looked at him, blinking. The young man suddenly blushed and looked over him up and down.

"Y-yes?" He asked, his voice slightly breathy and light. Hakkai's smile turned into a smirk worthy of Gojyo as he pointed at the boy's bag.

"May I borrow some of that?"

* * *

TBC


	14. Unwanted attention

**Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki or the characters.**

**I've been on a writing streak, enjoy the chapter!**

**Chapter 14: Unwanted attention**

* * *

Many people turned to gawk as two people stepped out of the men's bathroom and moved to the center of the floor. Women and men alike gawked and whispered as a dirty blond and a younger male walked past them and to the dance floor. Hakkai felt like his heart was going to burst from his chest, his instinct was too shy away from these people and hide. He fought against it as he looked to the boy who was now hanging off of his arm.

Back in the bathroom the boy had been surprised that someone like him wanted to wear makeup. Hakkai kept smiling and complimenting the boy's looks and the younger easily caved and even helped him re-do his look. Hakkai undid another button on his shirt and tucked the garment into his leather pants. Hakkai thanked god the gun had a safety feature, lest he saw himself with one less ass cheek by now. His eyes glowed as he removed his glasses and left them in the jacket he had decided to shed and leave with the coat man. His sleeves were rolled up, exposing his arms. He had one arm draped over the younger man's waist that watched him still with that look of adoration on his face. Hakkai felt guilty about leading the young man on but by the evil looks he was getting from one man he had passed, no doubt this young man would not be leaving alone tonight. Along with eyeliner, the boy insisted on some blush and lip gloss. Hakkai had reluctantly agreed and was actually glad he did. He didn't look trashy when he looked into the mirror, he was down right attractive.

He pulled the boy to him on the dance floor. Shy hazel brown eyes looked up at him in playfulness as the youth wrapped his arms around his middle. Hakkai's eyes shot to Yisou discreetly as the man seemed to be looking around the club again. Keeping his courage up, the music changed and so did Hakkai.

_Just for tonight, I'm not Hakkai...I'm someone else..._

Hakkai hoped that all those nights playing dance revolution with Goku would pay off. He moved with the younger man in a way Hakkai had not even moved when he attended his junior prom or office parties. Spinning the boy around he seemed to also be a good dancer and moved very well against Hakkai. The brunette wasn't as flexible as the women before him but for a male he danced well within his range. He swung his body, and for the first time in years forgot himself and got lost in the moment.

Hakkai had been the teen you never saw on the football field. He was involved in chess club or the school newspaper. He liked to sit home and read while everyone else was off getting drunk or high at college parties. He had never danced with a group of friends or drunk so much he had awoken passed out on a friend's lawn.

Tonight he felt like someone else.

He felt brave as he grasped the youth from the middle and gave him a smile. In turn, the other blushed and brushed sensually against him. By the way, the younger acted, no doubt this boy wanted him to take him home tonight.

"Excuse me sir," someone said behind him. The music changed without either of the two noticing. Hakkai turned only his head as he looked and saw one of Chin Yisou's suits address him.

"Yes?" Hakkai asked, gently releasing the boy he had. He still had a grip on the other as the suit looked him over.

"It's your lucky day sweet heart. The boss wants to invite you to his table," the suit said. By the way, the guard looked at him and held himself, no doubt Hakkai wouldn't have the option to refuse. Hakkai looked to Yisou and the man sat up more in his seat, looking at Hakkai like a hungry animal. He nodded toward the guard, giving his best smile.

"Sure, I'd be happy to," he said smoothly. The guard nodded, and Hakkai turned to the pouting hazel eyed boy.

"You're leaving?" he said sadly. Hakkai reached up and tenderly put some of the boy's hair behind his ear.

"Seems that way, but don't be sad. That young man by the DJ table has been giving you the eye all night," Hakkai replied. The boy looked over and sure enough, a male the same age watched them closely. The boy gave a reluctant smile and leaned up quickly to kiss Hakkai's cheek.

"If it doesn't work out, my name is Evan Diller. Look me up sometime handsome," he said. A tug on Hakkai's arm broke the moment.

"Come on, don't keep the boss waiting," the suit grunted. Hakkai was nearly dragged away from the floor and the youth. The man from the corner made his move and soon was talking to the boy whom had been watching Hakkai dance with. Hakkai internally wished the young man luck as he walked toward the alcove and prepared to meet Chin Yisou.

Hakkai walked into the alcove and was greeted by a standing Chin Yisou. The two suits took up their positions and stood guard over the entrance once more, blocking the way out. Hakkai put on his best smirk as Chin looked him over in appreciation.

"Well hello, thank you accepting my...Invitation. I am Chin Yisou, the owner of this club," he sauntered out. He reached out a hand and Hakkai held in an internal wince at how cold and clammy the skin was as he reached up and gently touched the hand. Hakkai quickly thought up a name.

"Tenpou, nice to meet you," he said back. Chin's smile went creepy as he set his hand on Hakkai's arm and led him over to the couch.

"Are you new? I don't believe I've...Seen you around before," Chin said. Hakkai sat down and crossed his legs as Chin almost molded to his side. Hakkai felt his gun dig into his lower back, but he ignored it. It actually gave him some comfort to have it.

"I've been around the neighborhood, but I've never stepped in The Centipede."

"I guess not, surely I would not have missed a gem such as yourself," Chin smiled. Hakkai tried not to flinch as Yisou ran his fingers across Hakkai's face to his neck. Instead, he tried to smile and seem like he was preening into the touch.

"Had I know; I would have danced here much sooner," Hakkai smiled. Chin hummed in his throat as he leaned forward and breathed against Hakkai's earlobe.

"I liked the way you move sweetheart. You have a unique body. It takes a lot to capture my attention," he whispered almost seductively. Had Hakkai been an actor in a past life, surely by now he would have won many awards. Yisou's hand reached across him and started running down his ass cheek and all the way under the leg Hakkai had crossed on top of his other one. Since the pants were so thin and leather, Hakkai felt every nail on each finger scrape the skin.

"I like to dance, but all those people watching me almost made me feel shy," Hakkai said back, carefully setting a hand on Yisou's chest and playing with one of the necklaces he found there.

"Do you mind if we make this conversation more...Private?" he asked, lowering his voice. Chin's eyes lit up like his favorite team had won the world cup. His smile was snake like as he leaned forward and kissed Hakkai's neck to his collar bone.

"Of course, I wouldn't want you turning coy...Come with me, and we can be as...Private as you'd like. In fact, I prefer it that way," he purred against slightly sweaty skin. Hakkai felt fear settle in his gut at the tone of voice Yisou used. Hakkai was nearly yanked off the couch by the eager look on Chin's face. Hakkai wrapped an arm around his biceps and followed him out of the alcove. Yisou walked past the suits and the crowd and headed toward the set of stairs near the bathroom. The guard standing there immediately straightened up and fixed his tie. Chin stopped in front of him and pointed at the door.

"No one disturbs me; no one understand Zakuro? I don't even care if Zenon shows up from being lit on fire. No one disturbs me and my...Guest," he purred the last part to Hakkai. Hakkai pretended to be amused as the guard Zakuro nodded.

"Yes sir, no one comes in, not even Zenon," he said in a rush with a salute. Chin took Hakki through the door to end up in a hallway littered with statues and flowers.

"I take it this...Zenon's person interrupted an evening of yours once?" Hakkai asked curious. Hakkai recognized the name from other suspects who could have been pointed out as the Rainy Day killer. If Zenon had a connection to Yisou, next maybe he could get more answers tonight, then he thought previous. Yisou made a face before turning to Hakkai.

"It's hard to find some peace and quiet when I'm with someone. Everybody always wants something and usually pops in without invite. Though I guess I should thank him that night, all the women I have are beautiful...Until they open their mouths that is," he said in a chuckle.

"The woman you were with, did she say something rude?" Hakkai asked.

"More like she wouldn't shut up, it was like nailing a broken record. Don't get me wrong, I like um loud, but she was just annoying the shit outta me; I kicked her out halfway through the process," he smirked. Hakkai chuckled and went along with it.

"I'm glad you still liked me, even after I opened my mouth." Chin gave him a sly look at that. He lifted a hand and ran fingers under Hakkai's jaw line.

"I can think of other things to do with those pretty lips."

Hakkai still heard the club's music through the door, and his heart seemed to race as something entered his mind.

The noise echoed around him as he stepped from the crowd down a deserted hallway.

Parts of Hakkai's dream were coming to life as he walked down the quiet hallway with Chin Yisou. The door behind them slammed closed, eliminating all the sounds from the club.

As if some large door slammed behind him, he was left in silence.

Chin's hand moved to caress his back as he opened a door at the end off the hallway. Hakkai's mind raced to come up with a plan as Chin ushered him inside. The room hit his mind like a brick to a pane of glass.

_A fish tank, spacious carpet, a large oak desk. . . Zebra painted couches. . ._

Everything was there. It had been rearranged since the drug bust photos, but it was still the same. Every detail, the furniture, the mini bar in the corner, the fish tank that took up the entire half of the room...The zebra painted couch.

Hakkai almost jumped from the pair of hands who ran up his arms from the elbows to his shoulders. He looked over his shoulder at Chin Yisou, who smirked at him.

"Do you like my office? It's a place I like to come to...Get away from the masses," he whispered quietly in the large room. Chin backed up and smirked as Hakkai watched him curiously. Yisou flipped a switch near the door, and it changed the scenery completely. The light in the large fish tank changed from a soothing blue to an almost blood red. The light on the mini bar switched on, making the neon lights buzz. Music filled the air as the air conditioner blew a cool breeze above their heads and surrounded their bodies. Hakkai smirked and looked around the room.

"How...Decadent," he breathed.

"Glad you think so, few people recognize class so easily," Chin commented, walking to the mini bar. He took out some glasses as Hakkai continued to look around.

_More like gaudy and cheap...Even Gojyo's apartment has more perspective than this dump..._

Yisou walked over and handed him a glass. Hakkai toasted it toward him before he felt the burning alcohol slide down his throat. Hakkai's eyes watered while Chin downed his like a champ. Setting his drink down, Chin grabbed Hakkai's arms and pulled him close.

"I don't usually go for men, but it's been a hard week. Meetings, greetings, parties...I need someone as strong as me, someone who can...Keep up in the sack," he purred. Hakkai swallowed nervously. He knew it would end up as something like this, men like Chin Yisou only had one thing in mind when it came to attractive people.

_Sex...As much as they could in a night with as many people as possible..._

"Have you been busy?" Hakkai asked, sounding teasing. Chin Yisou bit down a little harder than necessary, causing Hakkai to wince.

"You have no idea!" He hissed playfully against Hakkai's neck.

Oh no . . . Hakkai had a perfectly clear idea.

"Let's get more comfortable on the couch," he purred. Hakkai felt his stomach drop as he was suddenly thrown onto the couch by a very eager man. The gun dug into his lower back as he was situated between the arm of the couch and the man on top of him. Yisou dived in almost immediately and started sucking on his neck. An unwanted moan came out of Hakkai's throat in surprise as Yisou chuckled against the skin. The sucking became more eager as Hakkai quickly placed his hands-on Chin's shoulders. The other pulled back with an annoyed look on his face.

"What is it?" he asked impatiently. Hakkai put on his best smirk to try to diffuse the situation.

"Easy, easy now...I bet its been a while hasn't it?" Hakkai soothed. Chin gave him a raised eyebrow. His sharp face pulled a little as his mouth set in a frown.

"What? What is that supposed to mean?" he grunted. Hakkai sat up and carefully cradled Chin's face in his hands. The man still looked suspicious but seemed calmed by Hakkai's hands.

"Meetings...Greeting...Parties...You said it yourself, you've been busy. You must be tired... And having me just lay here like a bum while you do all the work...Why not relax and let me show you a good time? Every man needs to be pampered now and then," Hakkai offered. For added effort, he leaned in and ran his lips under Yisou's jaw. The man's skin smelt and tasted like cheap perfume and cigarette smoke. Yisou in turn made a noise of contemplation in the back of his throat.

"I am tired of always being the one in charge..." Yisou mumbled under his breath.

"What did you have in mind?" he asked almost curious. Hakkai stood from the couch as his eyes quickly searched the room.

_I need to get him distracted. I can't question him now, think Hakkai...Think!_

His eyes roamed to a thick lamp situated behind Yisou. His mind's light bulb went off as Chin sat up and lounged on the couch.

_Now for a distraction..._

Chin watched him curiously as Hakkai undid the rest of the buttons on his shirt, giving him a wink. Yisou licked his lips as Hakkai let it fall off his shoulders and bunch on his lower back. Being careful, Hakkai untucked the shirt and hid his hand behind his back to bunch the shirt up and hide the gun. The music did a good job of making the room appealing and noisy, and all Chin could look at was the creamy skin of his chest as the shirt and gun fell silently to the floor.

_I never thought I would have to do a strip tease for a mafia boss..._

"Oh baby...I like what I see," Chin smiled. Hakkai smiled as Chin reached up and un did his tie. Hakkai walked forward as Yisou opened his legs and Hakkai slid over his thighs. Yisou's hands didn't hesitate as they slid over his hips and grabbed his ass through the leather. The action caused Hakkai to grunt and slightly lift his hips. Hakkai reached up and gently caressed the back of Yisou's head, playing with his pony tail. The lamp was just at the edge of his finger tips. Unexpectedly Chin leaned up to him and took a nipple into his mouth. Hakkai faltered and tried not to jerk away in disgust. Instead, he gave a breathy sound, almost close to a gasp.

"Fuck Tenpou, you taste good; I wonder how tight you really are under all that leather," Yisou hissed against the nipple. Hakkai chuckled as his hands fully clasped the lamp behind Yisou's head.

"You're never gonna know," Hakkai said in a straight voice. Chin pulled back a little.

"Huh?" He grunted.

_THWACK!_

Hakkai smacked Yisou hard across the head, and the man went down like a sack of bricks. Hakkai quickly stood and grabbed for his shirt. He searched through it like crazy and pulled out the gun, and a small device clipped to the inside of his collar. He picked up the voice recorder and smiled to himself to see it un harmed. Looking at Yisou, Hakkai suddenly had all the questions he wanted to ask the man.

* * *

**TBC**


	15. The interview

**Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki or the characters.**

**Another chapter, I'm on a roll!**

**CHAPTER 15: The interview**

* * *

Hakkai now fully clothed had gone through the desk to find rope and some black duct tape. It seemed Yisou was into bondage and kept all the materials he needed in his desk. The brunette had also found some rope, lube and a gag ball but absolutely refused to touch the objects, seeing as the rope had some blood on it. Now that Chin was practically strapped to the chair, Hakkai needed to wake up the mafia boss. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew something could go wrong. This place was crawling with Yisou's men, and he would have to go through the front entrance to escape if something happened. He was all alone with no phone to call for help. He bit his lip and took a breath to calm himself. The coolness of the room helped as he breathed it in and set his head straight.

_You can do this, ask your questions and get the hell out of here!_

Putting a hand on his hip that was holding the gun, he looked Chin Yisou over. The man's head was to the side, and Hakkai rose an eyebrow at the small amount of drool collecting on the side of his lip. His snake-like features seemed to vanish the long Hakkai stood there and looked him over. He no longer saw a very powerful mafia boss; he saw a spoiled child who thought he had the world by the balls now that daddy wasn't around.

_Gross, he sleeps like a friggin bum..._

The brunette shook his head as he brought his hand up that wasn't holding the gun this time. His nerves shook as his fingers trembled.

"You better answer my questions, or I'm going to have to explain a lot to two over-protective detectives if they're at my apartment tomorrow and I'm not," he said to himself.

Lashing his hand forward, Hakkai slapped Chin Yisou across the face, attempting to awaken him.

Chin only mumbled a few times before not waking up. Hakkai thought he heard the man mumble something about his dad. Sounded like Yisou got slapped a lot by his old man before he moved to Florida.

Hakkai decided to try again. He slapped Yisou, and the man groaned and made a grimace; Hakkai hoped he would wake up soon; his hand was starting to hurt. He did it once more even harder, and Yisou popped awake. He looked around the room until his eyes landed on Hakkai. He tried to move but found himself strapped to his favorite lounge chair.

"What the fuck?" he yelled. The brunette let him thrash around for a moment in order to understand his situation. He planned to make it the only kindness towards the man tonight. As Yisou looked at him, Hakkai held up the gun and pointed it at Yisou's head.

"Scream and I will kill you," Hakkai said with narrowed eyes. Yisou couldn't get free and settled with glaring at Hakkai instead.

"You mother fucker! You fucking skank son of a–!" Chin started yelling. Hakkai felt his own nerves waver as Chin kept yelling. Using the side of the gun, Hakkai back handed him across the face. The man looked stunned for a moment at the sudden show of force.

"Shut up, no one can hear you," Hakkai said. Chin continued to growl in his throat.

"Shit...What do you want? You a cop? You gotta cop's gun," Chin observed. Hakkai scowled.

"No, I'm no police officer, but I do want answers," Hakkai said. Chin sneered at him as he leaned back in his chair.

"And what makes you think you're going to get them pretty eyes?" he asked. Hakkai back handed him again, and it made Chin split his lip.

"Fuck!" he yelled. Hakkai didn't have time for this bullshit. He didn't know Yisou's reputation, but he wasn't sure how long Chin usually stayed with the people he slept with. Guards might come in any moment to see if their boss was either in the act or kicking someone out.

"Two nights ago a body was found on the train tracks by city hall, was it, you?" Hakkai asked. Chin looked at him with a growl.

"Fuck you!" he spat. Hakkai was getting impatient.

Maybe I can scare him...

Hakkai lifted his gun and pressed it to Chin's temple. It faulted the mafia boss for a moment before he smirked.

"You don't have the guts. I can tell pretty boy, you might think you got this situation under control, but I know your kind; you're all talk!" he laughed.

_Guess not..._

Hakkai suddenly thought of something, and his smile went evil. Chin gave a nervous twitch as Hakkai lowered the gun to about mid chest until it reached all the way down to his waist line.

"Uh, what are you doing?" he asked with a hiss. Hakkai lowered the gun until it was almost touching Chin's crotch.

"I wonder; how much would it hurt to get your balls shot off?" Hakkai smiled pleasantly. Chin Yisou suddenly started to sweat.

"Y-you're kidding me!" he growled. Hakkai cocked the gun, and the sound was loud in the quiet room.

"I may not have the stomach to kill, but I am capable of wounding someone enough. How embarrassing would it be to show up in the emergency room like this? Hmm?" Hakkai asked with a tilted head. Yisou suddenly became very quiet and Hakkai continued.

"Now tell me, are your boys responsible for the body found two days ago?" Hakkai repeated. Chin Yisou looked at the gun and grumbled to himself.

"Yes, yes alright! It was my boys!" Chin said, feeling the gun closer to his groin then he would have liked.

"Why?" Hakkai said. Chin rolled his eyes and looked at Hakkai.

"Hell should I know; my old man's influence is still around here. He makes moves with or without my approval," he sneered.

"So you have no affiliation to the real killings?" Hakkai asked.

"No, I have no clue who the hell the Rainy Day killer is! We just wanted...We wanted people to start respecting Hyakugan! Christ, get that thing away from me already!" Yisou yelled, trying to back up. Hakkai pulled back the gun and Chin let out a sigh.

"So you just run around killing people because you want everyone to think you're the Rainy Day killer?" Hakkai asked him. Chin Yisou growled and tried to move.

"What the fuck does it matter?" Chin asked. Hakkai narrowed his eyes and gave a sneer of his own. Just the thought that this idiot was running around...Only trying to look cool by killing people...

"You're pathetic," Hakkai said. Chin froze and looked up at him.

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"Pretending to be the big boss man. You're still stuck in your daddy's shadow," Hakkai hissed. Chin's face turned red as he looked Hakkai over.

"Fuck you, I'm going to take the Hyakugan to a whole new level!" he hissed. He started thrashing in his chair as his rambling got louder.

"When I find the real prick doing the killings, I'm gonna take him out! Because of that fucking bitch, everyone doesn't fear us anymore!"

"Pretend all you want, I'm done with you," Hakkai said tiredly, backing up.

The brunette wasn't sure what more he could ask. A sudden thought occurred to Hakkai as he turned back to the still pissed-off Yisou.

"Are you involved with Zenon's biker gang as well?" Hakkai mentioned. Yisou huffed and turned his head.

"More like a patsy," he said.

"Elaborate," Hakkai said, waving his gun around.

"Fuck you," Yisou smiled.

Hakkai really didn't want to do this. Setting the gun to the side, Hakkai hoped his karate grip was still good. Squatting between Yisou's legs he made a pinching motion with his fingers.

"Last chance," he smiled. Yisou went pale.

"W-wait!" he yelled. Hakkai reached forward and effectively cupped Yisou's crotch through his pants. The mafia boss howled in pain as Hakkai squeezed the skin of his testicles through the layer of his clothing. Yisou thrashed until Hakkai thought his face would turn purple. Letting go Hakkai watched him pant and sweat.

"You fucking whore! I'm gonna rip out your fucking–! YAAH!" he yelled. Hakkai pinched painfully again and smirked.

"Talk, or I'll keep squeezing!" he smiled. Yisou howled and attempted to dislodge him.

"All right! Fuck! Neither of us is involved with the killer!" he yelled. Hakkai backed up and smirked to see tears develop in Yisou's eyes from the pain.

"So both of you are pretending?" he asked. Yisou nodded through his pain.

"Yes, yes...Ah...We don't even know who the real killer is!" he gasped. Hakkai backed up and picked up his gun. His heart rate had calmed considerably as he turned toward the door.

"Well, thanks anyway," Hakkai said, going for the door.

"Hey! Get back here! Untie me!" he yelled. Hakkai didn't look back at the yelling Yisou as he exited the office and walked down the hallway. Checking his voice recorder, he smiled to see the light blinking as he turned it off and pocketed it. He walked back toward where Zakuro was keeping guard and smiled at the man.

"Good job, Zakuro," he smiled. The man blinked behind his sun glasses and coughed.

"T-the boss?" he asked, curious. Hakkai smirked and walked past the man.

"He's going to be a bit sore tomorrow," he said. He didn't see Zakuro's full blush as he walked down the stairs. The music was even louder now that Hakkai had been away from it. He suddenly felt a massive headache come to him as he moved a little quicker down the stairs.

_See...You did it...Not exactly nice and easy, but your still alive!_

Hakkai didn't muse on it as he walked past the crowds and exited the club. He hailed a taxi and quickly got into it. As he drove away, he neglected to see a set of eyes watch him from the alleyway next to the club.

* * *

Stepping out of the alleyway the man strode into the club and ignored the bouncers. He walked through the crowd, ignoring the stares he received. Walking up the stairs by the bathroom, Zakuro straightened up and nodded.

"Sir! Ah, Yisou was just visited by someone, so he might be tired!" Zakuro stuttered with a blush.

"Shut it," he said stiffly. Zakuro stood still as the man passed him and slammed the door closed behind him. Walking down the hallway, he reached the office and opened the door. Chin Yisou looked up from his tied position on the chair and gaped.

"Ah, shit, not now!" he groaned. The man chuckled as he approached the tied-up Chin Yisou.

"Oh Yisou, you're never-ending search to bury your cock into something warm is going to get you killed. Tell me, did he shove his dick up to your ass to make you sing or...Should I use my imagination?" he smiled. Chin's face went red as he struggled to get out of his seat.

"Shut up and untie me! I didn't say a fucking thing so just shut the fuck up shit head!" he yelled. The man sighed and reached into his trench pocket. He pulled out a gun and didn't hesitate to aim it at the mafia boss's head.

"Four years of free will and work almost flew out of my ass because of you. If you could have only kept it in your pants this one time, I wouldn't of had to kill you," he sauntered out. Yisou's eyes filled with fear as the man cocked the gun.

"W-wait, wait! D-don't!" he called out.

_BANG!_

The man watched as the bullet entered Yisou's skull. Blood splattered the floor, making him grimace at the way the color turned at the carpet. Yisou's head slumped to the side as the man blew into the barrel of his gun and put it away.

"Now. . .To go visit our little investigator," he whispered.

* * *

TBC


	16. Midnight Visitor

**Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki or any of the characters.**

**Chapter 16: Midnight visitor**

* * *

Hakkai entered his apartment and stood silently as his door closed behind him. Turning quickly he used all the locks he had and closed the door tighter than a government-run bank. He breathed deeply through his nose as his legs shook as the last traces of the pounding music left his ears. He leaned against his door as the drizzle of rain water fell from the back of his hair onto the floor.

"Oh god," he groaned, holding his stomach. Hakkai quickly ran to his bathroom at a speed, he would have been proud of in high school track. He practically threw his gun on the couch along with the voice recorder as he made a beeline for the room. He only tripped once on the bathroom rug and caught himself on his sink. Sinking in front of his toilet, he let the night's events replay in his head.

"I'm suicidal . . . I'm suicidal," he whispered over and again. Having nothing in his stomach besides alcohol, he gagged as he felt the tremors of nausea consume him. He had cold sweats as he desperately stripped off the club clothing and ran his hands through his hair. Taking his fingers back he watched as the blond hair dye seeped through his fingers. Standing up he sighed and naked walked to his shower. He quickly got under the spray as the cold water swiftly turned to hot. Everything hit him at once as an embarrassed flush coated his face. He couldn't believe all the things he had done. He flirted; he drank; he let people touch him intimately and almost got busy with a mafia boss. He could have been discovered, worse; he could have been killed.

_Why . . .Why did I do those things? _

Hakkai showered and scrubbed his scalp until it stung. The hair dye went down the drain hopefully with the memories of tonight's events. He had what he needed but no doubt he would be questioned about how he had obtained it. After the shower, Hakkai felt a little better by being alone in his apartment. Picking up the gun, he put it back in the draw and went to his computer. Hooking up the voice recorder, he listened to it once and grimaced at the things he had said in order to get Yisou to talk. Especially threatening to shoot his balls off. Hakkai used a program he had and thanked police technology. No doubt they would be able to know it was Yisou, but he would need to disguise his own voice. Quickly changing the tone of his voice, he left Yisou's and his confession alone. He made a CD copyand went to put it on his book shelf disguised as an ordinary music disk. Powering down his computer, he stepped away and looked at the clock.

_11:45 p.m._

Before he could sit on his couch he nearly jumped as his home phone went off. Looking at the caller I.D., he picked it up.

"Hello? Hakkai speaking," the brunette said quietly.

_"Hakkai," _the voice on the other end said warmly.

"Kougaiji? How have you been? Why the late call?" Hakkai asked, a hint of worry in his voice. On the other end, Kou gave a light chuckle.

_"Relax, I just figured it would be a good time to call," _he said. Hakkai looked at the clock and saw it was almost midnight.

"At midnight?" Hakkai asked skeptically.

_"I was up and I wasn't sure if you could sleep, how has it been?" _he asked. Hakkai sank into his couch and watched the rain outside his window.

"Actually you caught me on one of my off nights. I've been sleeping very well as of late," he said.

_"I heard from the Chief about your protection order. Has the killer really set his sights on you?" _Kou asked from the other side. Hakkai felt a knot of worry hit his stomach, but he just sat down further on his couch.

"I'm okay. I haven't left my apartment and Sanzo, and Gojyo have been very good to me. I don't know why though Kou, why would he want me?" the brunette asked. Hakkai for the life of him couldn't think of a reason why. He was just a simple evidence clerk. In the movies, the bad guys usually went after the detectives, not the guy who sits in the basement.

"Do you think it's because I was the one holding on to the main evidence for so long?" he suddenly thought. Kou was quite on the other end until he hears a sigh and a creaking of a chair.

_"I-I don't know Kai. It's killing me to be so far away from you. I'm worried and . . . I miss talking to you. I overall just miss being near you. Everyone up here is so uptight,"_ he admitted quietly. Hakkai felt a small blush hit his face at the tone of voice Kou used.

"I miss you too, but I'm not lonely if you're worried. I almost feel like I've adopted Gojyo and Sanzo is nice to talk to. They keep me going," he said. Hakkai felt heat hit his belly as guilt hit his chest. He didn't want Kou to know just yet about the relationship he has had with the two detectives. Kou clicked his tongue on the other end.

_"I should be back in town next week or the week after. Some new evidence has come to light, and they found a suspect up north," _Kou explained. Hakkai's eyes for a moment traveled to the flash drive on his desk.

"Did you hear about the body they found two nights ago?" Hakkai asked.

_"What? A body? No, how did you find out?" _Kou asked sounding surprised.

"Umm, I over heard a phone call Gojyo was making. I know it was rude, but it was hard to not over hear," Hakkai explained.

_"Did he mention anything else?" _Kou asked him. Hakkai wondered if it would be okay to even let Kougaiji know about this information in the first place.

"Only that it didn't sound like the Rainy Day killer . . . Listen Kou . . . I, I have proof that it wasn't the killer this time," he said. On the other side of the phone, Kou sat up a bit more in his office chair.

_"What do you mean?" _He asked. Hakkai took a breath before he sat up fully on his couch.

"I won't tell you how, but I have a confession on tape of Chin Yisou of the Hyakugan mafia," he said quietly. He heard Kou gasp on the other line along with the sound of a chair scraping across the floor. Hakkai braced himself as he heard his childhood friend growl lowly on the phone.

_"You what! How the fuck–?" _Kou yelled on the other end.

"I'd rather not say," Hakkai said.

_"You have got to be the most suicidal idiot I've ever known!" _Kougaiji growled lowly on the other end. Hakkai brushed the guilt from his mind as he moved some of his rain damp hair from his neck.

"The point is I have it. I need to turn it into the department tomorrow. I'd do it tonight but I would rather lay low, for the moment," he said. Kou on the other end took a few breaths. Hakkai thought it only a little strange that Kou didn't explode as much as Hakkai thought he would.

_"Hakkai, is your door locked?"_ Kou suddenly asked him.

"Yes, believe me, I locked everything," Hakkai said back.

_"This changes a lot. I'm still pissed at you though. Stay in your apartment and don't come out! Hell, don't even answer the door for the mail man, got it? Actually, don't even go into your lobby, stay put!"_ Kou almost said anxiously. Hakkai stood from his sofa and approached his window, now Kou was making him paranoid.

"I understand. I won't go into details but believe me; they won't find me so easily," Hakkai said.

_"I want details when I get back. Hakkai what the hell were you thinking? You've never been the one to be involved in cases like this!"_ Kou asked him.

"I felt like I needed to. I can't explain it without sounding crazy but . . . Just understand that I had to do this," he said quietly. Kou sighed on the other end.

_"Get some sleep Kai, try not to think too much about it. I'll see you next week or so. . . "_ He said.

"All right, don't strain yourself Kougaiji, I'm okay," the brunette quietly said. Kou chuckled on the other end.

_"Yeah? Well, you're about to be the death of me. I mean it, don't leave your apartment and don't ever do something like this again. You could be dead right now Kai,"_ the other spoke. Hakkai felt his chest tighten as a clap of thunder sounded outside.

"I know Kou. . . I know. I won't do anything more about this. I'll see you next week," he promised.

Hakkai walked to his phone hook as he said his good-bye. Hakkai shook off the last tendrils of nervousness as he breathed. His body felt numb in both success and fear. Rubbing his arms he turned to go into his bedroom and finally get some sleep. Something caught in the corner of his eye, and he frowned. The sound of something hitting the ground made him jump, and he turned to the front door. His eyes bulged when he saw it wide open, the light of the hallway coming in.

"What the–?" he breathed in fear. Footsteps sounded behind him as he turned in a flash. He didn't have time to scream as something hard collided with his head and sent him to the floor. He groaned as a numbing pain blossomed on the side of his head. His eyes blinked on their own as they scattered about the room, looking for the source of the pain. His mind went blank as he closed his eyes as a set of feet put themselves in front of him.

He was out.

The man above him smirked as he observed his victim. Licking his lips he removed his wet coat and let it fall to the floor along with his bag. He dropped his gun on top of his bag that he had used to knock the other out. Looking at the sprawled figure, he admired the way Cho Hakkai's chocolate hair fanned against the soft carpet of his apartment. He walked to the door and closed it again, setting the locks. Returning to his victim, he pulled a syringe from his pant's pocket and uncapped it, holding it up.

"Cho Hakkai . . . You've crossed me for the last time . . . " He purred.

* * *

His world was blurry and cold the next time he woke up. Hakkai tried to blink, but his vision refused to clear. His body felt numb but at the same time weightless and groggy. He tried to move, but he felt himself unable to lift his arms or move his legs. He shifted until his head fell to the side, falling on something soft and familiar.

"Wha–?" He rasped. His throat felt like it had been forcefully closed. It was dry and raspy to the point where it even hurt to breathe. He searched his room, and it spun as he put more effort in just trying to see straight. He tried to move more now and gasped as he pulled on his wrists. Tilting his head upward he saw them tied down to his head board.

He must have been in his bedroom. The color of the walls even through his haze was painfully familiar. He struggled more as his body refused to comply with his demands and stayed put. He cried out in frustration as he tried to make sense of his current predicament.

"It is useless, Cho Hakkai," a voice above him said. Hakkai stopped moving as his heart rate picked up. He tried to look around, but the room was too dark; he couldn't make out the person standing by his bound feet. A sudden chill took him as he gasped when he realized why he was so cold.

He was naked.

Naked in front of someone who tied him to his bed.

His brain clicked, and he struggled harder to get free. His mind was slowly collapsing to whatever had been put into his system. Sweat coated his face as the cold reality seeped into his bones. He stopped moving and willed anyone, anyone in this god-forsaken building to help him. He wanted Sanzo or Gojyo to suddenly appear and realize what was going on. He stopped moving and instead focused on trying now just to remain calm and stay awake.

"A-are . . . Are you going to kill me?" Hakkai managed to whisper out. His heart was thudding faster in his chest at the mere thought of anyone finding him murdered, naked on his bed. Instead, the man chuckled at his question, and Hakkai struggled to memorize the voice. He tried to memorize anything, movement, features, anything that would help him should he survive.

"I should; it would make things easier, but I adore a challenge. I need a reason to keep going now. I need to give you a reason to keep living Cho Hakkai," he said.

The words spoken became more muddled as they were uttered. Hakkai felt dizzy and sick as his body betrayed him and gave into whatever spell he was under.

"Why? Who are you?" he tried to yell. His brown hair was messy, and his green eyes widened as he tried to stay focused. Fear coated his insides as the man drew closer and Hakkai's eyes slipped closed before the light of the moon could help him identify his captor.

"I...Am the Rainy Day Killer," the man whispered out. Hakkai would have screamed as he felt a gloved hand run up his naked thigh. He would have cried if he could have seen the sick satisfaction that coated the other man's face. He did though manage one scream as the man crawled on top of him and spread his legs, spearing him and begging to thrust as his world turned into muddy water.

* * *

TBC


	17. I'm so alone

**Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki or the characters.**

**Chapter 17: I'm so alone**

* * *

Hakkai sat numb on the examination table at the local hospital. Breathing deeply, he was surprised to even be sitting up straight. Deep circles lined under his eyes, either from the tiredness or the after-effects of the drugs used on him. He was surprised himself to even be able to stand, let alone walking. He stared at the far wall, not registering how cold the room was, he sat there in nothing but a paper gown. He licked his lips and shakily looked toward the viewing window. His doctor was still talking to some officers.

As soon as he had woken up that morning he knew...He knew what had been done to him. Hakkai felt it in his bones, his organs, his skin...Everything. He didn't even bother to put his clothes on as he walked into the living room, numb and slightly disoriented. The tape recorder was gone of course, taken, but thankfully, the killer never took the copy he made. And if it wasn't worse, in some mocking gesture, all the locks had been done back up on his apartment door. His wrists ached and remained bruised from where the rope had been biting into his skin. He felt sick and sore and didn't even want to name the places on his body that he felt these things. He felt violated, but most of all he was scared. He was scared that not only did he meet the Rainy Day killer; he could have himself been a victim; his body left somewhere for all the public to discover and see..

But no, the bastard had decided to torture him instead.

Slipping on whatever he could find he didn't even remember taking the bus to the police station. He didn't remember part of the morning as with humiliation and fear, he had told one of the detectives what had happened to him. He was immediately taken to an examination room and then to the hospital. Back at the sterile environment, he had just gotten done with a rape kit. The doctor offered counselors, but Hakkai didn't want them. Several officers working on the case had come in and questioned him, the worst part was that Jien had been one of them. The man took one look at him, and his mouth had dropped open. Hakkai couldn't even offer him a reassuring smile, he felt way too empty. He answered all of their questions with no emotion, even if all the questions turned out to be the same. When Jien left the man had still seemed shell shocked to offer any comfort.

Hakkai didn't want any. All he wanted to do was go home, sleep, and never wake up.

After everything, Hakkai had been released from the hospital. He took a taxi this time and entered his silent apartment. It was about midday, but he still felt tired. He had been poked and prodded and swabbed and bagged, and he felt nauseous about it all. He went to the bathroom and drew himself a bath, determined to scrub every ounce of the stranger away. Looking at his reflection, he looked worn and pale, his eyes a bit sunken. His chocolate hair hung limp and even to him seemed greasy. Green eyes were dull as he forced himself away from the mirror and his sad looking exterior. Slipping into the tub, he seriously debated whether or not he wanted to drown himself. Gojyo and Sanzo were due back sometime tonight, and he had no clue how he planned to face them both. His heart sank at the thought of being capable to act normal around them. He wouldn't be skillful enoughto pull it off, especially with Sanzo.

However,...He missed them terribly.

He wanted them here; he wanted someone to talk to.

After the bath, Hakkai just wanted to lay down. He had stripped the bed and gave everything over to the detectives. Laying down on his new sheets, he did breathe a small sigh at the foreign smell of unused material. Hakkai closed his eyes and fell quickly asleep.

* * *

_It was every where...All over the walls, coating and dripping from the ceiling. It pooled around his feet as he breathed in the coppery smell. The held his head between his hands and threatened to rip out his hair. A sea of bodies floated by him, all dead and staring lifelessly into the open air. Everything stank; it was all too much._

_Blood...So much blood all over the place!_

_He screamed, but no one could hear him._

* * *

"Hakkai, it's good to see you again. How have you been? I admit; I was surprised that you called me so out of the blue," his therapist said. Hakkai watched the fog outside the window and brushed off the coolness of the room. He sat in the lounge chair today, deviating from his usual couch. Wearing a thick coat over his jeans, he regarded her and tried to smile. She tapped her pen against her notepad and smiled at him.

"Much has happened since I last spoke with you. I believe our rearmost conversation revolved around the intimacy you shared with...Goku? Is that where you wanted to pick up?" she asked. Hakkai cringed at the word intimacy. He took deep breaths and willed his heart to slow. He must have looked distressed because his therapist looked at him in concern.

"Are you all right?" she asked. Hakkai quickly nodded and pushed some of his hair away from his face.

"I was hoping to talk to you again about the dreams," he evaded. She looked surprised but complied.

"Okay, how have you been sleeping? I take it; you're doing more of it since you're dreaming," she said. Hakkai gave a half hearted shrug.

"I've been sleeping through fine, for the most part. The dreams though...They are becoming...Much more detailed now. To the point where...I'm being talked to," he whispered. She frowned a little and moved from around her desk. She sat opposite Hakkai as she examined her patient.

"What do these dreams say?" she asked. Hakkai swallowed and recalled the dream where he was talking to himself...

"It told me...To do something very stupid. The worst part being...I actually did it! It was okay for a while but, now it scares me. They tell me to do things that could kill me. It almost did kill me, like I was in some trance, like I transformed into another person," he said shakily. He looked at his therapist, and she seemed unnerved by his lack of composure. For as long as Hakkai had been seeing his therapist, he had always had calm conversation with her. He had never broken down or in any sense gotten angry in a session. He put his hands over his face and leaned back into his chair.

"I feel like sometimes that I used to be another person. That the Hakkai I am now is different from the one when my sister was alive!"

The therapist nodded carefully and swiveled in her computer chair. She looked at the floor and moved some of her hair from her eyes.

"A death can change a person Hakkai. It is possible that you became someone who had to adapt so that you could continue living without your sibling. Sometimes...It can make a person hardened, and they feel their interiors affect their exteriors. You possibly became a whole other person," she explained. Hakkai sighed shakily in his seat. He leaned back against the fabric and tried not to whimper at the pain that shot up his spine. He had worn his glasses today to hopefully deviate from his migraine, but it only seemed to amplify it. He sighed deeply as he leaned more against the arm of the chair now.

"Sometimes...I just feel like the dreams want to tell me who I really am. I don't feel the same as I did when Kanan was alive, even when I got over her death. I feel twisted around and confused. I sleep but at the same time I wish I could just not dream about anything at all!" Hakkai shook his head and buried his shaking fingers into his hair. His rape was getting to him, but he wasn't sure what his therapist would recommend if he mentioned it. He didn't want to discuss it, hell; he didn't even want to accept that it happened.

"I think I'm going insane!" he finished in a whisper. Whether he realized it or not he let a tear escape his closed eyes. His therapist was quiet for a moment as she looked him over, frowning. She got up and walked again to her desk, opening a drawer, she went searching through it.

"Hakkai, if you think your dreams may cause you to lose control, then I have a suggestion," she said calmly. Hakkai didn't look up at her as she wrote down a number and handed it to him.

"I don't think there is solving this problem anymore; I've already been to a doctor! I take these stupid pills, and they don't even work half the time," Hakkai said quietly. Reluctantly, he looked up as she handed him the card.

"Trust me, maybe it could help," she said quietly. He looked at her with watery eyes as he shakily reached for the small business card.

* * *

_Help? Help? That bitch thought this could help!_

Hakkai stomped angrily into his apartment and slammed the door closed, locking it in the process. He fumed all the way from his therapist's office to the taxi and back to his own apartment. He didn't bother picking up his coat as he threw it to the floor and ignored the rumbles of thunder outside. He took the small card his therapist gave him and glared at it. He had called the number on his cell phone and was surprised to learn it was a hotline to a suicide counselor.

_I'm not suicidal dammit! Why does everyone think I have a death wish?_

Hakkai threw the card into the trash as he kicked off his shoes and threw them by the door. His apartment was dark as he walked to the kitchen and started making coffee. His movements were stiff as he ground the beans and poured the water. Unconsciously, his eyes roamed to the kitchen drawer where Gojyo's gun lay resting. Pulling open the draw he sneered at the silver device before slamming the door closed.

"Some help you were you stupid–! Where were you when I got...When I g-got..." he breathed heavily, choking on his words. Hakkai whimpered slightly as a raw tear ran down his cheek. He hadn't cried since his sister had passed away so long ago. His stomach felt empty and ached when he realized he hadn't eaten anything since the night before last. He continued to cry, and he grabbed his cup and huddled down on his couch. Staring at the far wall he let the tears go.

_Maybe my therapist had every right to think I'm suicidal..._

He had been extremely depressed after Kanan died. He drank heavily for a small period and even worked himself into exhaustion. Kougaiji was the one to knock him out of his stupor, literally. He had been drunk one night as Kou came over to his apartment. Hakkai couldn't remember the whole night, but Kou had explained about wrestling a knife away from him when he caught him in the bathroom with it. He had felt so ashamed that Kou had seen him at his worst. It had taken a whole night of crying, but Kou helped him through it. As years went by it got a little easier. He adjusted to his quiet life very slowly, got himself together and was determined to live the life his sister wanted him to live with or without her.

He stared at the wall as memories of her filled his mind. They were so alike in every way. They both loved to read and travel; they were twins, and Hakkai swore sometimes he could even feel her pain. There was a time when he questioned how much Kanan had meant to him, he often hated himself for thinking that maybe he even wanted more with Kanan than what was considered appropriate. He had hated himself for a long time, and as he got older, he realized that all he had were only feelings; he just wanted to keep her as safe and as happy as possible.

He swallowed back some tears as he finished his coffee. The liquid was warm and did a lot for his frazzled nerves. He tried to put the rape far from his mind and even in some way a thanked god that he was passed out for most of it. Nevertheless, just the thought that someone did that to him . . . While he was passed out . . .

_Fucker . . . _

Spying his pill bottle on the stand next to him, he picked it up and moved it around in his hands. Somewhere deep in his mind he wondered what would happen if he took them all. Would he die? Would he never wake up? Would someone walk into his apartment to find him stiff and cold, dead on his couch? Instead, he frowned and looked at his clock. It was nearing midnight and Gojyo, and Sanzo had yet to even call him. He had been at the station for a time while he was interviewed, word of mouth could have spread, especially with Jien. It had been so long since he had talked with the other, and he wondered what the man was doing now. Jien wasn't into gossip by any means but any doubt that out of concern, he might get hold of the chief, and she would contact his body guards. He didn't want her telling the two detectives. He especially didn't want to think that they should be blamed for what happen to him. He had been the one to go out and make his own mistakes; he had to atone for them and deal with the consequences.

Dread filled Hakkai at the thought of both finding out what had happened. Maybe they already knew and decided that he was no longer worth the effort. Gojyo didn't seem the type but to him, Sanzo might have been. Hakkai realized that he really didn't even know the two men well enough. He knew small things about them, such as habits, and he always figured the larger stuff would have come later down the road in their relationship. It saddened Hakkai to think that maybe the two detectives would have given up on him before he really even had gotten the chance to ask them questions.

_Maybe they'll be disgusted . . . Being touched by another man . . . They'll think I'm a.._

Hakkai felt more tears fall at even the thought that they would avoid him now. He had always heard stories of rape victims being left by loved ones because the loved one didn't know how to cope or treat the rape victim.

Hakkai sat quietly with his cup of coffee as he let his life events flash before his eyes. He felt sick as he forced himself to swallow two of his pills before checking his locks and trying to lie down. He stared at the far wall as the rain pounded the streets outside. He bit his lip as he felt more tears well up and fall.

He had never felt so alone . . .

* * *

Sanzo is very pissed off at the moment...

Gojyo knew when to play with the man and when to just keep his mouth shut. They were currently two counties away, wet, tired and extremely hungry. At the moment, all both detectives wanted was to go back to Hakkai's apartment, eat his cooking, curl up into clean and warm clothes and crawl into bed with Hakkai and just sleep. Instead, covered in mud from a field chase, they now stood in an interrogation room rented out to them by a neighboring police station also working on the Rainy Day killer case. Sanzo stood against the table itching to rip the cigarette from the jackass that was currently sitting in front of him. Gojyo stood near the door; arms crossed as he too glared at the man sitting on the other end of the table.

The biker gang leader Zenon only smiled at them; his leather jacket soaked and shining in the dim lighting of the room. His hair was slightly wet but still stuck up high and spiked on his head. His tan skin was all natural right down to his bone structure. What wasn't natural though was his right eye. Leading the life he did, Zenon's right eye was completely gone, taken in a knife fight when he was younger. A long jagged scar ran from his right cheek to the middle of his forehead, the eye hidden by a black eye patch.

He smirked at the detectives as he leaned backward and slapped his muddy boots up and onto the investigation table, leaning back in his chair.

"So boys, why chase me down in the middle of nowhere, in the rain, kick my gang's ass and drag me into a shit poor investigation room? Eh?" he asked, with a tilt of the head.

"Why did I have to chase you through a fucking swamp? My shoes will never be the same asshole!" Gojyo growled, moving away from the door. Zenon smirked as he looked down to the detective's shoes, mud coating them in a thin layer all the way to the end of his pants.

"Have your boyfriend here buy you a new pair sweet heart. A little mud never killed nobody," Zenon replied.

"No one runs unless they have something to hide," Sanzo spoke, voice deep and laced with suspicion. Zenon shrugged as he flicked some ash away from his smoke.

"I haven't got anything to hide, me and my boys were just having a midnight stroll," he replied casually.

"In a swamp?" Gojyo raised his eyebrow.

"More like hiding a body," Sanzo added. He walked forward and slapped something on the table in front of the other. Zenon took out his cigarette to look down at it as he righted himself in his chair. A driver's license stared up at him, a picture of a young female in her mid twenties. Her hair was long and golden as her hazel brown eyes looked nervous.

"Oh that? Nah, nobody, I found it on the floor of the gas station near a town is all. I just held on to it," he said with a shrug. Sanzo wasn't convinced as Gojyo came up beside him.

"Look, I'd love to spend all night playing grab ass with you, but I got places to be. Just tell us why you're hiding bodies, and we might lessen your sentence. After all, you're still wanted for the murder of your wife and kid after all," Gojyo told him. Zenon was quiet for a moment as he studied the two detectives. His eye suddenly went dark as he popped his cigarette back into his mouth.

"Don't bring them up," he said in a deadly voice. Both detectives were surprised at the mood change but held it in on their faces.

"Touchy subject?" Sanzo asked. Zenon sneered, but it turned with a shrug a moment later.

"That was months ago, you never got anything on me. You cops only turn to the first person you can so you can all just go home and fuck yourselves," he replied. Gojyo watched as Zenon pushed his lit cigarette into the table, marking up the wood with the lit bud. His own urge for a cigarette raged with full force.

"He is threatening you isn't he?" Sanzo suddenly asked. Zenon froze before he looked up at Sanzo with a sneer.

"Excuse me?" he asked the blond. Sanzo's gaze didn't waver as he stared down the orange haired man.

"Why are you hiding bodies for the Rainy Day killer?" he asked. Zenon's face smoothed out until it seemed like he had receded into his inner mind. He tapped the table and stared up at the ceiling.

"You got someone you love?" he suddenly asked. Both Gojyo's and Sanzo's minds immediately flashed to a green-eyed man before they looked at each other.

"What is your point Zenon?" Gojyo asked. The orange haired man didn't look at them both as they spoke.

"I got news the other day that Chin Yisou squealed to someone, about everything. His body was found in his office, tied to a chair, a hole in his head. Your killer was most likely the one who killed him. If I were you, I would stop delving," he advised. He looked at the two men in such a serious way even Sanzo felt his breath being held.

"This guy is no amateur. I have no idea what he wants, but I don't think he is killing for fun. You want the truth? I have no affiliation with this guy what so ever, hell; I have no idea who he even is, but I know one thing..." he leaned forward.

"And what is that?" Gojyo asked, narrowing his eyes. Zenon was silent as he tilted his head to the side.

"Get in his way and he'll kill everything and everyone you love."

Everyone in the room was silent as Zenon stared them down. Gojyo and Sanzo narrowed their eyes.

"You didn't kill your family did you?" Gojyo asked. Zenon suddenly looked worn out as he set his chin on his hand.

"I want that mother fucker just as much as you guys do," he said quietly. The silence went on until Sanzo broke it.

"He killed them?" he asked. Zenon nodded and closed his good eye.

"I loved my wife and kid. I did bad things yeah, but I never let them get involved. Chin Yisou had gone trigger happy ever since his old man moved to Florida. As for that girl, you found in the swamp, she was there before I got there. Your killer migrates over three counties a few times a month. That is all I know."

"Do you expect us to believe you?" Gojyo asked. Zenon chuckled as he opened his eye.

"Believe what you want, I was in a bad way for a while when I found out what that fucker did to my wife. I ain't giving you details, but I would start looking around your own precincts. This guy gets info on people way too easily to be a normal person," he finished. Gojyo and Sanzo looked at each other.

"Ask what's his face...Detective Kougaiji? He and his partner worked on the case from the very beginning," he mentioned. Gojyo frowned, and Sanzo narrowed his eyes.

"Kougaiji?" the blond asked.

"Yeah, him and his partner got really close to catching him when the victim list was smaller, but something happened; his partner died or something...Kougaiji let the investigation get taken over by a different department, and he went somewhere else. Got real depressed and dealt with petty crime units for a while."

"Wait, how the hell do you know so much about that?" Gojyo asked, his voice raised a little. Zenon smiled and looked toward them both.

"You better start asking your Chief some questions' gentlemen," was all he said.

* * *

They asked no more questions after that. Gojyo and Sanzo let other officers take Zenon away as they dried off and made to go back to their hotel room.

"Man I wonder what Hakkai is up to, my cell died," Gojyo laughed. Sanzo narrowed his eyes at the other as they walked together down the precinct hallway.

"I told you to charge it in the car shit head," he mumbled. Sanzo didn't show it on the outside, but he was worried about Hakkai as well.

"Well at least we can head back now. The food around here is shitty!" he smiled. Sanzo rolled his eyes but narrowed them as a man came running down the hallway at them.

"Detective Sha Gojyo?" the man asked. Gojyo lifted an eyebrow and nodded at him.

"Yeah? That's me," he said.

"You have an emergency phone call at the desk...A detective Sha Jien?" he said. Gojyo blinked at whatever reason his brother might need to call him. Sanzo followed behind him as they made their way to the lobby and toward the desk. Picking up the phone Gojyo leaned against the desk and flashed the secretary a smile before addressing the phone.

"Hello, Jien, what's up?" he asked. Sanzo stood a hair away and didn't even remove his eyes from the phone.

Something feels wrong...

_"Gojyo...Listen to me..."_ Jien on the phone said. Gojyo frowned his brows at the tone his older brother used.

"Jien, what is it?" he asked impatiently, not liking his brother's serious attitude.

_"Gojyo...Hakkai was attacked...By the Rainy Day killer..."_

* * *

TBC


	18. Freak out

**Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki or the characters.**

**Chapter 18: Freak out**

* * *

Three days . . . Three days had passed since he had been raped.

Hakkai didn't do much in that amount of time. He mostly wandered his living room like a tiger in its cage. He would walk to the windows and watch the city in a chair or go to the kitchen to make tea. He sat on his couch to read time after time or tried too anyway . . .

He felt himself turning into a zombie, a lifeless vessel full of worry and fear. He wanted to go back to work, wanted to be busy, so he wouldn't have to think for more than a minute. Rain pounded the windows as he sat there on his couch. He had mailed in the voice recording as asked by Kougaiji, but after he didn't do much else. His stomach begged him for food, but he ignored it and instead did nothing but drink tea. He tried to watch television, but each time he tried his vision would fade in and out; green eyes tired from looking at the wall. Sitting in the quiet and the dimness, he felt himself fading away. He thought about Gojyo and Sanzo and wondered if he had been truly abandoned by them. It had been three days, and still he had heard nothing from them. Assuming the worst, Hakkai figured he had just been given up on. The thought made his chest ache, but he fought it down. He was used to being alone. It had been that way ever since his sister died.

He had his quick flings with them, and at the time they meant something. Now Hakkai sat there, alone, thinking about all that had happened since he had first fainted in his basement office. His life was starting to spiral, and he briefly wondered what he should be doing to try to fix it. He didn't want to drift towards a state where he knew he would sink into depression. Sighing deeply he lifted his body off the couch to make himself another cup of tea. His wrists itched badly and were still bruised from the rope. He rubbed them as he stared at his counter tops in his kitchen.

His hair needed washing; the laundry needed doing; he could get some groceries, but he didn't want to leave his apartment. He hadn't left it since he came back from the hospital, all the locks still in place. He didn't even want to go near the damn door if he could help it. Cold seeped into his heart as he just plopped himself down at his island. Setting his forehead on his hand he leaned on the counter top as he stirred his cold tea. Blinking once he felt moisture coat the sides of his vision as he simply let them fall. He didn't feel good; he didn't want to pretend anymore; he was sick of always being in these slumps and not being able to sleep at night.

Licking his lips he did nothing . . . Simply, nothing. He sat there and listened to his clock tick away in his kitchen. Thunder pounded the sky as he turned to watch a brief lighting streak coat the clouds. He blinked in confusion when the thunder seemed to rumble one after another.

_Wait a moment . . . _

He frowned as he faced his door. He heard people running up and down the hallway and briefly wondered if some children were playing tag in the building. The thudding noises stopped as his door seemed to be rattled on its hinges. His heart picked up as his door knob spun a few times, followed by heavy knocking.

"HAKKAI!" A familiar voice shouted through the door. The brunette stayed frozen to the spot as Gojyo's voice sounded through the door. He willed his body to move but his feet stayed still. The pounding got louder as he heard some muffled speaking on the other side of the door.

"No . . . Go away . . . " Hakkai whispered. He turned away from the door as his eyes threatened to spill over. He missed his stool and simply collapsed to the floor, falling into a pile of limbs. He breathed through his nose as he willed the people on the other side of his door to leave.

No . . . They can't . . They can't see me like this!

Tears ran down his face as sadness racked his body. He had trouble getting up as the rattling on his door got worse.

"Hakkai, you in there man?" Gojyo asked again.

"Open the door!" Sanzo seemed to growl.

Hakkai still didn't move from his spot. He watched as the hinges rattled before a loud bang made him jump on the spot. He leaned on the counter for support as his door jolted in place. His mouth came open in a gasp as another jolt sent one of the locks to the floor. He held his breath as a second one hit the floor soon after. He watched wide-eyed and scared as they forced the door open, panting from the effort. Both men were soaked to the bone from the rain, their hair sticking to their heads. Two sets of eyes found him in the kitchen as he stared at them like he had been caught doing something bad. His legs threatened to give out again as a blur of red nearly sprinted across the living room for him, a cloud of yellow right behind. Hakkai felt dizzy and took a step back as a damp mass grabbed him firmly and pulled him into a breathing chest and cold sodden jacket. Hakkai made a sound as Gojyo clasped him in a rough embrace, squeezing him securely.

"Hakkai, shit man, why didn't you answer the door?" he whispered against his ear.

Hakkai could only stare out across the floor as Gojyo pulled back to examine him. The other frowned in concern as nothing on Hakkai's face changed. Gojyo lifted a tan hand and set it on his cheek, running his fingers up and over his cheek bone. The touch was warm despite Gojyo's wet finger, and Hakkai felt every bit of it. His stomach settled in comfort at the intimate touch and the familiar person. His eyes remained un moving as the red head looked him over.

"Kai?" he asked in uncertainty. The brunette let his eyes drift over the taller man's shoulder only to be met with flaring purple. Sanzo himself had a strained look on his face as he stared Hakkai down. The way his eyebrows were set was unmistakable.

Sanzo was nervous.

Hakkai tried to smile at him, but it came out wrong. His body went limp in Gojyo's grip as it tightened around him.

"Hakkai . . . What happened?" Sanzo was the one to ask anxiously. The brunette had never seen the other man look so anxious before, not in the time he had known him. Hakkai took a breath as he let his gaze land on the floor, observing their mud-covered shoes. His eyes began to grow moist again and he dreaded the thought of even crying in front of the detectives. His heart was lighter though at the thought of them even coming back.

_But they did . . . They came back . . . I feel . . . Uhh . . . _

Hakkai swayed in the other's grip, and Gojyo was surprised as he caught Hakkai's full weight in his arms. The brunette fainted on the spot, barely hearing his name being shouted by two different voices.

* * *

_Gonou . . . ?_

_Gonou!_

_Gonou . . . _

_It will be all right brother . . . Just hang in there!_

_I promise...Everything will be all right..._

_Don't cry..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_Kanan...?_

* * *

"Kanan?" he whispered, opening his eyes. The brunette stared dully at his ceiling as he realized he was on his back. The familiar smell of his pillows hit him, and he blinked. He hadn't slept in his bed for more than three days, preferring his couch whenever he had his insomnia fits. He bent his neck when he felt something cold press against his forehead. Looking to his right, Sanzo sat on the edge of the bed, looking him over as if examining him like a doctor would. Sitting up on his elbows a bit he felt the cloth slide down to his eyes.

"You should go back to sleep," Sanzo said beside him. The golden haired man pressed against his shoulder and made him lay down. Hakkai's vision finally came back into focus and he was able to observe the blond. Sanzo had changed his clothes or should he say, borrowed Hakkai's. Sanzo only wore one of his polo tops with a pair of loose pajama pants. His hair was still slightly wet, clinging to his cheeks. Blinking he heard another set of feet and looked to the door. Gojyo wore his white wife beater and it looked like he had chosen to steal a pair of jeans, Hakkai not knowing if they fit successfully or not regarding the belt that held them up. The red head looked at him with wide eyes but full of some emotion Hakkai couldn't place his head around.

"You're awake, good; I thought I was going to have to call an ambulance or something," he smiled, walking over. Hakkai felt the dip in the bed as Gojyo occupied the other side. Realizing he was being stared at, Hakkai blushed at all the attention.

"I'm fine. I've just had trouble sleeping again," was all he said, looking away from them both. He didn't see Sanzo's frown as the man reached for his wrist. Hakkai unused to the contact flinched when Sanzo grabbed his arm and held it up mid level to get a good look at the appendage. A ring of blue still stuck around the brunette's wrist as purple eyes narrowed. Gojyo looked toward his other wrist as a scowl came to his face.

"That mother fucker," he whispered. Suddenly feeling panicked; Hakkai sat up and regarded them both.

"Don't, it's fine. I'm fine!" he said sternly despite his condition.

"Bullshit, somehow that fucker figured out where you lived. He could have killed you," Sanzo said with a growl. Hakkai sighed and brought his sore wrist to his chest.

"It's my fault; he must have followed me home," he said quietly. Both Gojyo and Sanzo reacted at the same time.

"What!" They shouted. Hakkai winced as the sound echoed off the walls. Gojyo looked absolutely shocked while Sanzo looked down right pissed.

"You said you wouldn't leave the apartment!" Gojyo reminded. Hakkai swallowed in guilt and didn't look at them.

"I left . . . The day after you two did. I...Oh dear," he breathed. Sanzo was the one who stood up and crossed his arms.

"Tell us, everything, now," he said with a snip. Gojyo gave him an annoyed look but also looked anxious as to why Hakkai left the apartment.

Taking a deep breath, he hoped they wouldn't just up and leave after he told them what he had done.

He spilled his guts.

Hakkai told them everything right down to the voice recorder he had used. He explained how he had met with Chin Yisou and what he had found out, his conversation with Kou and finally...How he had been attacked by the killer. At the end, Hakkai was trembling with both stress and fear. Gojyo looked in awe but at the same time scared. Sanzo's face was blank, almost as if he had withdrawn into himself in order to think. Hakkai watched them both for a minute until he winced and tried to rise from the bed.

"What's done is done. I can't take it back, if I upset you, I apologize, but I had to do it," he breathed. He was almost up with a wince until two hands landed and gripped his arms on either side of his body. Both Gojyo and Sanzo seemed surprised as they had the same thought about not letting Hakkai get up and off the bed. Gojyo snuffed a laugh and turned his head to scratch his cheek. Sanzo seemed less amused as he still held his usual scowl.

"Had to do it huh? Well, you must have your reasons, but that doesn't mean we're going to forgive you so easily," Gojyo said, turning to face him seriously. Hakkai sat on the edge of his bed as Sanzo slowly let go of his arm.

"You need to stay in bed," the blond advised gruffly. Hakkai sighed but got up anyway.

"I need to be moving," the brunette replied, trying to raise some strength in his voice. Sanzo scowled this time and gave a grunt.

"Whatever," he said, standing up. Gojyo and Hakkai watched as the blond left the room, making his way toward the living room. Hakkai watched him go as he winced and sat back down on the bed.

"What happened in here Kai?" Gojyo asked quietly. Green eyes left the floor to meet red ones. Hakkai looked away as he recalled the events of the night.

"He must have followed me home from the club. I didn't meet or talk with anyone besides Chin Yisou after I left. I made sure I wasn't followed, that no one could recognize me," he whispered.

"Apparently I failed."

Gojyo looked as if he was thinking.

"Dumb question, but are you all right? Should I be taking you to a doctor or . . . Your therapist or something?" he asked with a wave of his hand. Hakkai looked the red head over and couldn't help but smile. It seemed Gojyo didn't have the heart to ask him if he was okay after being raped.

"I was knocked out through most of it. As for doctors, I already went, the therapist too. I don't think I'll be going back though, she pissed me off something terrible I'm afraid," he gave a light chuckle. Gojyo licked his bottom lip as he stood from the bed.

"This bastard knows where you live Kai. It's dangerous to stay here," the red head advised. Hakkai though shook his head.

"I'm not letting him scare me Gojyo," he said. Gojyo's normally calm features suddenly turned sour.

"Kai, he gave you a warning this time, next time; he is going to kill you," his voice hardened. Hakkai looked at the far wall before standing up.

"I know that Gojyo. You forget that I'm an evidence clerk. I've seen what he does to his victims, how he leaves them to die. I'm not afraid to die if that is what your asking. Nevertheless, I'll be damned if I let him scare me by raping me," he said softly. Gojyo's hard face went soft, and he walked forward and embraced Hakkai.

"He doesn't look like it, but Sanzo is scared too. Hell, my heart stopped when Jien called me out of the blue," he replied, snuggling into Hakkai's throat. The brunette blinked in confusion.

"How do you know Jien so well?" he asked curiously. Gojyo pulled back with a raised eyebrow.

"Um, duh Kai, he's my older brother," he smirked. Hakkai blinked as a small tint of red coated his cheeks.

"Oh uh . . . Yes, Sha Jien would make sense then wouldn't it?" he said. Gojyo laughed as he held Hakkai tight with his body. It made him relieved to see that the real Hakkai could shine through, despite the circumstances.

"We really missed you. They led us on some shit lead two counties away to do nothing but interview an agitated biker. It's nice to just come back and be here," Gojyo mumbled into his throat. Hakkai's heart softened at the man's words. He hugged Gojyo back softly, letting his hands run over the larger man's shoulders.

"I missed you too, both of you," he replied back. Gojyo pulled backward and instead leaned forward to gently kiss Hakkai.

"It's good to be back," he whispered against slightly paler lips. Hakkai smiled lightly at the endearment until he heard footsteps approach the bedroom door. Looking over, both Hakkai and Gojyo blinked as Sanzo came through the door. His scowl was still in place, but his eyes told a different story as they narrowed at their intimate position. He sighed a moment later, running his hands through his rough looking blond hair.

"Shit, why am I always the one who gets mad and storms out?" he asked no one, in particular. Gojyo shrugged but didn't release his hold from around Hakkai's hips.

"Cause you're you man. There is no fixing that hot temper you seem to have," the red head said smoothly. The blond approached the pair as he none-to-gently pried Gojyo off of Hakkai, slipping an arm around the brunette's hip instead.

"Whatever, I'm starving. The hotel food was awful and the beds made me sleep like shit," Sanzo said, starting to lead Hakkai out of the bedroom. Gojyo made a noise at being pushed away from his object of affection.

"Hey asshole! Things were just getting good in here!" he yelled at the blond, holding up his middle finger. Hakkai blushed as Sanzo only made a snuff.

"Like you could even make it to second base," the blond mumbled. Shyly the brunette looked at the fair-haired detective, wondering if things were okay between them. Sanzo noticed the look and only tightened his arm around Hakkai's hip.

"I'm still mad at you for leaving the apartment, but I'm more pissed that something like that happened when I was supposed to be watching you," he mumbled. Hakkai shook his head as he heard Gojyo grumbling back in his bedroom.

"It's my fault. I'm the one who made the foolish choice. If anything, you should stay angry at me," he replied softly. Sanzo stopped walking and instead faced the other. The brunette was surprised as Sanzo leaned in and gently put their foreheads together.

"I'm trying to, but it's not working," he said in all seriousness. Hakkai felt his cheeks heat again as he gave a breathless laugh.

"It'll be all right now; I promise," Hakkai said.

* * *

TBC


	19. Loving the touch

**Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki the anime or any characters.**

**This is a long ass chapter! Took me a while but I think I got every detail perfect!**

**WARNING: MAJOR YAOI ALERT AND SEXUAL SITUATIONS IN THIS CHAPTER!**

**CHAPTER 19: Loving the touch**

* * *

Gojyo and Sanzo spent the rest of the day at the brunette's apartment. Hakkai was glad that they didn't prod, and to be honest Hakkai just wanted to forget the whole thing. He had his cry, and he was going to leave it at that. It felt good getting back to the normalcy. He cooked for them and did their laundry and offered them his bed for the night, feeling like all the other nights that he would once again not be able to sleep through himself. They discussed the case at intervals, but otherwise strayed away from the topic. Kougaiji had called to talk to the detectives, and Hakkai had to beg Sanzo not to mention anything about the rape to his other red-haired friend. Sanzo had become angry again but upon seeing the look on Hakkai's face at the time, reluctantly promised he would not tell. The brunette would tell his friend in due time, but not right now when the other had so much on his plate between the case and his sick sister.

It felt nice being able to sit on his couch and see Gojyo delving away into junk food. Sanzo chose to stand by the window and smoke, watching the streets. There was some kind of tension in the air but Hakkai honestly couldn't figure it out. They weren't angry at each other, but he somehow felt like something was uneasy about all of them together like this. Gojyo wasn't being as touchy as he normally would and Sanzo seemed to stand a bit away from him then he usually would. The brunette pondered this until he sort of understood why. They were giving him space; they probably thought he might not want to be intimate with either of them anytime soon but . . . He felt okay. The knowledge that he could be with either Gojyo or Sanzo . . . Or both in sex didn't make his stomach knot in fear or nervousness. He felt normal as he could be given the current situation. He hoped they didn't feel guilty about leaving him home alone. He made his own choices. It felt good just being around them again; he realized, currently that he had gotten to know both men; he couldn't think of his life without them in it now.

Evening rolled around, and they had finished dinner. Hakkai wanting to clean out his meat freezer made chops with gravy and salad. Gojyo had fallen asleep on the couch after a heaping three portions while Sanzo helped with the dishes. Hakkai washed while Sanzo dried and stacked the plates, not being familiar just yet with the brunette's kitchen to put them away yet. He stood there silently as Hakkai handed him dish after dish. After about a minute Sanzo seemed to growl . . . Or sigh at the same time.

"I know it's what you want but . . . I can't pretend everything is okay," he grumbled, setting down a plate with a small clatter. Hakkai looked at the couch to see Gojyo still on his stomach and sleeping. He dimmed the lights in the apartment to make it more comfortable, turning on the heat to get rid of the chill of the rain outside.

"Sanzo," Hakkai said softly, starting to dry his hands. He looked to the side at the other man, his green eyes seeming to be begging for something under his brown bangs, hanging just a bit in front of his face. The blond turned toward him with an angry look, eyes' burning and teeth clenched.

"Hakkai, how can you be so calm right now? After everything that has happened to you . . . For god sakes, you were ra–" he was cut off.

Hakkai quickly turned toward the blond, Sanzo raising his voice with every word. Quickly putting two fingers on Sanzo's lips to stall his speaking. Hakkai's features were anxious as his stomach almost bottomed out upon hearing that dreaded word again.

"Sanzo stop, please!" he whispered urgently with wide eyes. Sanzo still looked at him in that manner; eyes set in defiance. Hakkai looked at the floor as he spoke to the agitated man.

"I know, but please . . . Please . . . I just. . . I want to forget. I want to move on. If I let it bother me, then . . . He wins," he whispered. Hakkai didn't know what to say to make the blond just forget. He looked up into Sanzo's eyes with his own pleading green jewels.

"I'm all right . Really . . . I am," he breathed in honesty with a tilt of his head. He somehow managed to smile, and Sanzo stared at him for a moment in what could have been his own version of worry. He still remained stony but Hakkai could tell through the lines of his face he was just as worried as Gojyo had been.

Sanzo's eyes suddenly tilted down to the fingers still sealing his lips, a look of contemplation coating his vision. Hakkai flushed in embarrassment when he realized he had kept his fingers on Sanzo's lips the whole time he had been thinking and speaking. He swallowed some saliva in his mouth as he slowly pulled his hand back. It was constantly a reflex for him, when Kanan was alive, he often did it when she was rambling on about how she worried for him. It had regularly been something he did to reassure her.

"Oh, um, sorry . . . " He mumbled softly.

Before he could pull his hand back entirely, Sanzo grabbed his wrist gently but securely. Looking into purple eyes he gasped as they now seemed to burn from something else entirely. The blond pulled on his wrist, and Hakkai let him bring it back to his lips. Hakkai felt goose bumps run down his spine as Sanzo pressed his lips to the top of his hand on the fingers, breathing hot air over the knuckles, causing the brunette to shiver.

A sudden shot of arousal coated Hakkai's stomach as he took a breath, a blush coating his face. Sanzo stared at him now with lidded eyes, continuing to breathe over his knuckles. Moving closer to the brunette, he leaned over him slightly, causing Hakkai to look up at him questioningly.

"Hakkai . . . " He said softly.

The brunette tilted his head at the tone of Sanzo's voice, something he had never heard before while conversing with the man. It was softer, smoother, almost like a purr.

It sounded so loving to him . . .

Slowly, Hakkai raised his fingers and touched Sanzo's bottom lip, running his right index across the plump skin. He couldn't look to Sanzo in the eye as he did this, too embarrassed. Sanzo didn't move or say anything as Hakkai's touch became bolder, running to the corner of his mouth and letting more fingers come into play. All his fingers except his thumb ran over Sanzo's cheek over the bone to the corner of his eyes, brushing back blond bangs. It was exciting to Hakkai, never in the past being able to touch another so personally, intimately outside of sex. He had invariably respected Sanzo's personal space, the man always looking stiff and not wanting of contact unless necessary. It was all new territory to Hakkai. Pale skin made his heart race as he was allowed to explore. It was soft, softer than he realized, creamy and pale, the color of coffee when the milk was mixed in.

Looking into Sanzo's eyes this time, he brought his other hand up and buried it in his hair on the other side of his head, massaging the scalp. Even as his fingers smoothed back pieces of hair, it seemed to bounce back into place.

Hands grasped his hips but he didn't flinch, not at the contact. Fingers squeezed and dug lightly into his skin as Hakkai leaned forward like a creature possessed. Sanzo's eyes burned as Hakkai felt the first hints of nervousness hit him. His instinct to remain shy came full force, but he swallowed it back. Hands pulled him closer until he was chest to chest with Sanzo, both his hands still on the other's face. They shared the same air for a moment, staring into each other's eyes. Slowly, feeling bold, Hakkai took the initiative and gently tilted his head forward, letting his lips slide over Sanzo's pale ones.

The kiss was a mere touching of lips, but it sent electricity through Hakkai's veins. Sanzo's grip on him moved from his hips to one hand on his lower back, the other reaching forward and petting his stomach. Hakkai made a noise of arousal as the hand gently smoothed across his abs. The brunette never figured that the flat of his abdominal muscles would be one of his spots. Even so, as Sanzo continued to touch there, the more brave he felt into his kiss. Spikes of arousal shot into his groin as their kiss became harsher. Hakkai let his hands bury into golden hair as the blond tilted his head back and applied more pressure to his lips. Hakkai gasped as he felt his butt hit his counter, and Sanzo took advantage. A hot tongue swiped against his own, and the taste of cigarettes overwhelmed him. Sanzo must have smoked a different brand than what Gojyo did. Even when he kissed the red head, the flavor of his cigarette was noticeable to him.

Sanzo made a noise deep in his chest that seemed to vibrate against Hakkai's. Shyly Hakkai let his tongue come up and smooth against the blond's. They pressed tightly together, Hakkai's hands eventually wrapping around Sanzo's strong neck. The blond was a few inches taller than him so the brunette had to stand straighter in order to reach him. Sanzo's hand lowered on his stomach until it found the edge of Hakkai's sweater. The brunette squirmed a bit as the blond went up and under the article, circling his fingers over the smooth skin of the other's stomach. Hakkai gave a breathy sound that was immediately swallowed by the other male. Tongues battled as Hakkai felt his cock harden against Sanzo's abdomen. In return, something hard began grinding against him. When air became too necessary Hakkai was forced back, taking large gulps in shaky breaths. He stared at Sanzo in surprise when in turn the other looked as equally flushed as he did. Sanzo breathed deeply through his nose as the grip he had on Hakkai never loosened. All they could do was stare at one another in the silence of the apartment.

In the corner of Hakkai's eye, something in his apartment moved. Unhurriedly green eyes traveled from intense violet to smoldering red. Shifting his eyes steadily Hakkai looked at the couch where Gojyo had been sleeping.

Green eyes widened in shock as he felt his blush travel from his face into his neck. Sanzo didn't see the look as he leaned down and began nibbling on Hakkai's neck and moved to behind his ear.

The red head was up now, staring at them in a way that made embarrassment known once again in the brunette's gut. Hakkai gasped as Sanzo chose instead to completely open mouth suck on his neck.

Gojyo's mouth opened a bit as his breathing seemed to deepen the more he watched. His face went suddenly blank as he now sat upon the couch, some of his hairs hiding his face. His body language made it look like he wanted to sit back down and enjoy the show or jump and join in.

Sanzo happened to turn his head and stared in annoyance at the man on the couch. Hakkai felt as if any moment his whole body would give out and collapse into the sink.

"Hey, shit head, if you want in, quit gaping like a bitch and get over here," Sanzo's voice husked, returning to Hakkai's neck. The tone alone did something to Hakkai's insides, and apparently it did something to Gojyo too.

Slowly, Gojyo stood up and Hakkai swallowed as he made his way over with a bit of a swagger. Even in pajama pants there was no mistaking what was going on in the front of them. He moved quickly as Sanzo's hand traveled up Hakkai's stomach and went for a nipple. Hakkai almost groaned through his teeth as another glorious body pressed against his backside and molded to his skin. Another pair of hands went up the back of his sweater to the front as a hot mouth devoured the other side of his neck, opposite Sanzo. Two pairs of hands joined in unison and roamed his chest, touching his nipples and teasing the skin over his stomach.

"Ah!" Hakkai gasped as Gojyo practically ground against his backside. Sanzo ground a little softer against his front as the brunette was caught in between both of their ministrations. Among all the heavy breathing, none of them seemed to notice the thunderstorm now raging outside. His legs shook as a hand skimmed his ass and gently moved downward to grasp the inside of his thigh. The action caused a sudden spark of fear to erupt in his brain, and he froze.

_No . . . No . . . Don't do that! It will be fine . . . This is Sanzo and Gojyo . . . They would never do anything to hurt you . . . Relax._

Hakkai had been kissing Sanzo at the time, and it caused the blond to pull back. Gojyo looked up briefly from the skin he was sucking on and looked at the side of Hakkai's head in worry.

"Is it too soon? Are you . . . ?" he began.

Hakkai felt Gojyo pulling away from him, and he reacted. Quickly grabbing Gojyo's hand, he let him settle the large appendage back on his thigh.

"I'm fine . . . I promise; I want this," he said softly with a smile. Sanzo looked long and hard at him and so did Gojyo. They then looked at each other and softly the red head smiled.

"Okay then, but if you start freaking out, we're going to stop," Sanzo said, moving back to the skin. Hakkai closed his eyes as he felt Gojyo's hand continue down his leg.

"All right," he breathed.

* * *

What had started in the kitchen now moved to Hakkai's bedroom. Hands roamed as thunder crashed outside, sending tree limbs down into the road. Unused to so many hands at once, Hakkai felt overwhelmed as his mouth was either captured by Sanzo or Gojyo within a span of a few seconds of each other. Three bodies moved against one another as Hakkai's mind spun to remember what he had been like when both men had been with him singularly. He gasped as a hand to his chest pushed him, and he landed on his bed. He landed on his shoulders as he looked up in surprise at them both. He swallowed a moment later as they both stared down at him in pure hunger. The sudden idea that he was going to be with both these gorgeous men at the same time made his groin ache in arousal.

They seemed to realize the same thing as they both smirked and looked at each other.

"So, how do we want to do this?" Gojyo asked Sanzo almost playfully.

"Hmm, isn't it obvious?" the blond said, staring at him skeptically. Gojyo shrugged as he easily removed his top. Lean muscle and tan skin revealed itself, and Hakkai shamelessly stared; his bangs falling in front of his green eyes.

"Just wanted to make sure," Gojyo mumbled, throwing his top to the side. Sanzo rolled his violet eyes as he reached forward and grabbed Gojyo by the hair.

"Just shut up and fuck us," he growled. Hakkai felt his stomach flutter as Sanzo pulled Gojyo in harshly and captured his lips in a rough kiss. The kiss looked more like an attack then anything. It made both men groan until eventually Sanzo let go of Gojyo's hair and pulled back, licking his lips. Hakkai really felt his face flush at the way both men turned to him at the same time with equally heated looks. Sanzo crawled on top of him first, letting his body press against his own aroused one. Sanzo met him in a kiss as he straddles his hips, testing how much weight he could put on the brunette without it being uncomfortable. The pressure felt good against Hakkai's groin as he slowly brought his hand up and ran fingers through Sanzo's blond hair. They broke away, and Hakkai felt his stomach jump when tan fingers ghosted over the buttons on his fly. Sanzo and Gojyo looked down at him, and suddenly he felt self-conscious. Gojyo smirked as he moved behind Hakkai, breathing down the back of his neck on the bed. He could feel the muscles of Gojyo's stomach even through the material of his sweater. His chest was much broader than Sanzo's but leaner, tanner in comparison.

"Relax," he soothed, hot breath ghosting over skin. The brunette nodded at him as Sanzo moved in front of him.

"Put Kai in your lap," he told Gojyo. Hakkai felt a jolt of pleasure at the way his name was abbreviated on the fair-haired's lips. He didn't hear it often, the blond always being the one to address him by his full name. He lifted his arms when Sanzo moved forward and lifted the edges of his sweater. The coolness of the room from the rain outside smoothed over his skin, causing him to shiver. Against his back, Gojyo moved his hips as Hakkai felt the red head's erection grinding through his sleep pants to his lower back. The feeling was strange as Sanzo ran pale fingers over his chest. Hakkai unconsciously reached to the sides of him and planted his hands-on Gojyo's thighs. The red head kissed his earlobe, sucking on the skin as he continued to move his hips. Leaning forward, Sanzo took a nipple into his mouth which caused Hakkai to gasp and arch into it. The breathy sound in turn was mirrored by Sanzo as he slid down the skin to his stomach. Suddenly remembering his childhood scar, he wondered if Sanzo had really seen it the last time they were together. Gojyo hadn't minded it but he wasn't sure how Sanzo was on the topic of scars. It was nothing now but puckered skin, soft and stretching almost vertically just above his belly button. The blond didn't seem to skip a step though as he ran his tongue over the skin, causing Hakkai to flinch at the unfamiliar feeling.

The brunette's pants were removed easily and Hakkai felt the heavy denim almost slide off his legs. He was left completely bare before the blond and he felt his stomach flutter. Gojyo purred into his ear as his red eyes roamed over familiar naked flesh. Sanzo continued to tease the flesh of his stomach, making him squirm. Gojyo chose instead to migrate to Hakkai's neck, lapping at the skin.

"Gojyo, lift his legs up a bit," Sanzo said from somewhere near Hakkai's belly button. Gojyo obliged with a smirk as Hakkai looked at him in confusion, breathing picking up. He made a breathy noise as Gojyo reached around him and grabbed the back of his knees, pulling them up and backwards. The action caused Hakkai's hips to push forward toward Sanzo and his back to press into Gojyo's chest. Hakkai squirmed in embarrassment as he was now fully exposed to the blond detective, his own erection curling into his stomach. Sanzo smirked against the skin before a hot breath ran over Hakkai's at present fully formed cock. Gojyo held tightly, not relenting in his grip.

"S-Sanzo!" Hakkai gasped loudly as the blond, moved forward and swallowed his erection. Hakkai groaned as wet heat enveloped him and made him squirm. Gojyo groaned at the sight as Sanzo expertly moved over Hakkai's cock, not relenting or slowing down. The brunette moaned as his thighs threatened to tense. Sanzo placed his hands on the brunette's inner thighs and opened him more as he sucked him off. The sensations from both the front and back of Hakkai's body had him arching into Sanzo's mouth as he suddenly felt a hand travel to his lower back. He gasped as wet digits slid between his ass cheeks as Gojyo licked up the side of his neck and bit his earlobe.

"Relax, baby, just keep thinking about Sanzo's mouth," he whispered against his ear. Hakkai didn't even realize he was shaking until Gojyo pointed it out. He trembled as his hands tightened on Gojyo's thighs, a golden head still moving between his own. The fingers probed his entrance, gently slipping in and already curling. Hakkai clenched his teeth as a small spasm of pain erupted in inside him as Gojyo's long fingers stretched him. He panted against the pain and thanked god that Sanzo sucking him off was helping. Shakily removing his hands from Gojyo's thighs, he set them on Sanzo's head, threading his fingers through his locks. Sanzo looked up at him from his sucking. Hakkai must have been very red in the face because Sanzo smirked, and Gojyo chuckled from behind him. Fingers went deeper inside him, and Hakkai gasped as they curled a little more and struck his prostate. His hair was already beginning to stick over his fore head, sweat gathering at the back of his neck where Gojyo was breathing. He yelped and unintentionally thrusted outward into Sanzo's mouth. Sanzo in turn held his grip on the brunette's thighs. Gojyo was practically purring as he watched Hakkai writhe on the bed in his grip.

"Fuck, you look hot," Gojyo whispered near his head, thrusting his fingers again. Hakkai moaned out loudly as his body trembled harder. He took one hand from Sanzo's head and reached behind him to thread it into red hair, keeping them all connected. The strands felt soft in his grip, calming and yielding. Gojyo moaned as the fingers scratched his scalp, giving an involuntary thrust against Hakkai's back with a small purr. The brunette's stomach did flips as the impending orgasm made itself known. He shifted his hips as best he could in Gojyo's grip to adjust to the feeling of pleasure building up in the base of his cock. It swirled dangerously, threatening to come out any moment. Feeling his stomach muscles clench, Hakkai clenched his hands harder in both of their heads of hair. Sanzo's mouth was hot, as he gently let his teeth scrape over the head of Hakkai's cock.

"I'm . . I'm g-going to c-cum . . . " He panted out, throwing his head back. Gojyo added another finger, making it three altogether thrusting hard inside of his entrance. Sanzo moaned at the words and seemed to work harder, his blond hair bobbing like crazy. Hakkai trembled fiercely. His body felt like a mass of nerves, constant signals of pleasure being sent to his brain. He briefly wondered if he was hurting the two men by the way he was grasping at their hair. They gave no indication of pain as he felt the first signals of orgasm ready to be shot out of him. With a harsh suck and a good jab from Gojyo's long fingers, Hakkai came screaming to his bedroom ceiling.

Sanzo's mouth filled with a sticky substance as he swallowed and pulled back, licking his lips. His eyes looked absolutely predatory as he watched the brunette struggle to catch his breath. Gojyo feeling Hakkai arch against him held him tightly, enjoying the show for all it was worth. His own red eyes took over the site of Hakkai leaning against him, and the site of Sanzo looking absolutely predatory between the brunette's thighs. Hakkai was left panting and sweating as Gojyo hugged the man to his chest but didn't remove his fingers from inside of him. The brunette released his hands from both their heads and shakily brought his right hand up to wipe away the sweat from his head and eyes. His breath hitched a moment later as Gojyo began adding another finger, making it four inside him. The red head thrusted them gently as he reached up and turned Hakkai's chin toward him. Still panting, Hakkai took the kiss from Gojyo, moaning into the other man's mouth as he tenderly caressed his insides. Tongues came out, and Hakkai whimpered as the fingers became harder. He had just orgasmed but he already felt the next chain of arousal build inside him. He pulled backward for a quick breath before Sanzo sat up and grabbed his chin and kissed him back just as much. Salty sweetness filled the brunette's mouth as Sanzo let him taste himself. Never in his life would Hakkai thought he would ever be able to taste his own juices. He didn't find them totally unpleasant, especially when it was mixed with the pure taste that was Sanzo. He moaned regardless against the blond lips, finding it highly erotic. Breaking the gaze, Sanzo looked over Hakkai's shoulder to the red head who is still gently coaxing Hakkai back into arousal.

"Tilt his hips up," Sanzo whispered to Gojyo. Hakkai moaned as suddenly Gojyo leaned back, taking him with him. Sitting against the head board, this time Sanzo grabbed under the brunette's knees and spread him. The fingers stroked his prostate as Sanzo stared down at what Gojyo was doing to his entrance. The blond moaned at the sight as Gojyo reached around and grasped Hakkai's cock, beginning to stroke it in time with his thrusting. Hakkai whimpered as he reached forward and planted his hands-on Sanzo's shoulders, keeping him balanced lest he toppled over on the red head's lap.

"Hmm, I think he's ready," Sanzo's deep voice said. Gojyo made a noise of agreement against the side of Hakkai's neck as he turned to look at Sanzo.

"Oh yeah, he's ready," Gojyo breathed.

Hakkai felt Gojyo's rock hard cock beginning to rub between his ass cheeks. Suddenly stopping his hands, Hakkai twitched as Gojyo's fingers slowly removed themselves from his entrance. He was left panting again as they shifted him to lie on his back and Sanzo crawled over him. The brunette back hit pillows as he moved his legs to accommodate Sanzo's approach on him. Gojyo maneuvered them further up on the bed until Hakkai was flat upon his back near his head board. A sudden clash of thunder sounded outside and for a moment Hakkai was distracted. He couldn't remember what the weather was like on the night he was attacked, but he knew it wasn't enough at the time for him to really pay attention. All he knew was that he didn't hear one hitch of thunder as he was knocked out.

Gojyo slid behind Sanzo as the blond gently but widely spread his legs and tilted his hips upward. The sight alone actually surprised Hakkai, he never would've figured the blond to be a bottom but in all honesty, he never really expected Gojyo to be one either. He couldn't imagine what these two men were like together before they met him, but they seem to be an odd pair and always came up with one surprise after another. While he did this, violet eyes roamed over creamy skin as some traces of semen still lingered on Hakkai's stomach. The brunette looked up at them both with glazed eyes and a heavy blush spreading from his face all the way to his chest. As Sanzo moved on top of him, he felt Gojyo move behind the golden haired man, stroking his back and letting his hands linger at the back of the fair-haired's thighs. Hakkai was suddenly very glad that his bed was so large. No doubt with a smaller bed, none of this would've been capable.

He watched Gojyo move over Sanzo's back, kissing up the spine, his red hair fanning out behind him and across his own shoulders. Hakkai's breath hitched, watching as the redhead kissed every bump in the blond's spine. Two heavy bodies set themselves on the brunette, and Hakkai felt his breath hitch from the combination with the weight between his legs and on his stomach, touching his sensitive organ. Hakkai had some clue but briefly wondered what the two detectives wanted to do with him. Hands moved over his stomach and thighs and all of a sudden; Sanzo grunted and turned to look at Gojyo. The red head blinked and shrugged with a small smirk.

Hakkai sat up a bit and looked over Sanzo's shoulder in confusion. Gojyo's hands were near Sanzo's backside, and he blushed realizing Gojyo was stretching Sanzo. Hakkai was now blushing for a different reason. He never really pictured what Sanzo would be like in such a vulnerable kind of position in front of the redhead. Gojyo in turn gave a small chuckle but seemed very wary of the blonde's intense viper like gaze against him.

"Sorry dude, but it's been a while since you bottomed, hell; it's been a while since we've even been together," Gojyo mumbled against the skin of his back, kissing it. The blond rolled his eyes as he set his hands-on Hakkai's hips and started adjusting to the redhead's fingers.

"Then use lube and not spit shithead," Sanzo growled in annoyance.

"Why? Spit is so much sexier," Gojyo purred.

"Not when it's been so long since I've bottomed. Just get the lube ass hole or next time I'm fucking you dry," Sanzo hissed. Hakkai watched the exchange not knowing what to think at the moment. His mind was so modeled by arousal that it all seemed as if everything was comical. Panting, he sat up and watched on his elbows as Gojyo looked toward him, not being able to find the desired item.

"Under the bed on the right," Hakkai panted, sitting up slightly on his elbows. The action caused his chest to rub up against Sanzo's. The man seemed to take advantage and easily turned his head to lean down and mouth a nipple. Hakkai gasped but moaned as the action caused him to fall back down to the bed.

While Gojyo looked for the said item, Hakkai feeling brave at seeing Sanzo in his aroused state, lifted his hand and skimmed over the blond's stomach. Sanzo looked toward him then; eyes alight at what the brunette was doing. Sanzo, arching his back groaned as Hakkai boldly grasped his erection, starting to pump it. Sanzo let some of his body weight settle on the brunette as Hakkai steadily stroked him, going slow though as his shy nature threatened to kick in.

Gojyo finally finding the desired item, sat back up on the bed and regarded them both. He smirked at the sight of Sanzo arching his back and for once looking defenseless. He turned his head and smirked at Hakkai, noticing what he was doing to the blond. Chuckling, Gojyo was glad to see Sanzo finally relaxing and just letting loose. The blond had been a stressful mess ever since they had heard about what had happened to Hakkai. He was kind of proud of Sanzo for once for initiating something with Hakkai. Not that Sanzo was incapable of making the first move, he only tended to have terrible timing. He also by nature wasn't a romantic person unless provoked just right. If there was one word in this word to actually describe the feisty blond, it would be choleric.

Always irritable, easily angered, touchy, testy, wrathful . . . However, he always seemed to melt it away when he was around Hakkai and Gojyo. It took a long time, but Gojyo had managed to break through the man's defenses. Hakkai was the right person at the precise time to completely bring them all together.

Coating his fingers, Gojyo eased them back inside Sanzo and was glad to see the fair-haired so loose and relaxed. It probably also helped that Hakkai had brought his other hand into play as he stroked the blond man, gently rubbing across his stomach and the muscles there. Planting a hand on Sanzo's upper shoulders, he made the blond bend down personally with Hakkai as he hooked his fingers. Sanzo made a noise between a moan, and a grunt as the red head easily found his prostate and began to stroke it. Hakkai suddenly hitched a breath and arched as one of Sanzo's hands left his hip to grasp his erection instead.

Gojyo moaned at the sight of what both these men were doing as he rubbed his erection against Sanzo's backside. Looking down, he suddenly felt a hand tap his thigh. Sanzo looked over his shoulder at him, communicating with his eyes. The red head looked below them both to the squirming brunette and swallowed the saliva in his throat. The man was dripping with sweat as his almost scarlet erection stuck up against his abdomen. Sanzo wasn't helping the situation by slowly stroking Hakkai. Abandoning stroking Sanzo, Hakkai in favor brought up his legs and gently thrust his hips and fisting the sheets.

"Give me the lube," Sanzo said breathlessly, looking ready himself to go over the edge at the way Hakkai was responding to both their advances. Taking his fingers from the fair-haired's ass, Gojyo quickly uncapped the tube and lathered up his cock before giving it to Sanzo. The blond was a bit shaky as he applied the oil to his own dripping erection.

Hakkai opened his eyes and watched the two detectives get ready to penetrate him. Just the thought made a slight sliver of both fear and excitement coat his stomach. He wanted to be with these two men, and he didn't want to be in the horrible memory of his rape when he was with them. He watched Gojyo grab Sanzo's hips as he positioned himself, a look of smooth contemplation coating his face at what he was about to do. Sanzo in turn threw the lube somewhere onto the floor and leaned closer to Hakkai, breathing over his face. The brunette must have looked scared because Sanzo brought a hand up and smoothed back Hakkai's bangs in a tender gesture. The look on his face smoothed out as his eyes set in a way that for once didn't enhance a scowl or a glare. It was soft; it was a Genjyo Sanzo version of soft.

"Relax, it's just us," he whispered. Green eyes widened as his hair was pushed aside. He looked up at Gojyo, the man's hair wild against his back as he stared down at him with a look of both desire and caring. Adjusting his legs a bit, Hakkai let his thighs brush up against the sides of Sanzo's torso in acceptance. He dropped his legs a little and let his ankle brush up to where Gojyo's knee met the bed spread, now having contact with both men. Reaching up he caressed the side of Sanzo's face even as his stomach dropped in slight apprehension. His fingers were shaking, but he didn't let it interfere with what he wanted with these two men.

"I know. I'm fine . . . Please, don't stop," the brunette breathed. Sanzo's eyes narrowed, but he nodded. Slowly, he reached down and grasped the back of the brunette's knees. Lifting them up, he moved forward in the hold of Gojyo's grip and let the head of his cock kiss Hakkai's entrance. The green-eyed man tensed slightly, and his eyes widened from remembering the last time he had been with Sanzo. The only think he could think of was Sanzo's size and how filling it had been. Not letting the brunette have time to think, without warning, Sanzo moved his hips forward quickly and penetrated the squirming brunette giving a low moan in the process.

Hakkai gave out a painful gasp despite the quick smooth entry, willing his body not to seize up as he arched upon entry. His hands struggled to find a purchase as they buried into his turquoise green sheets. He willed his body not to push the men off of him as a swirl of memories assaulted his mind.

_"A – are . . . Are you going to kill me?"_

He struggled to stay relaxed, even in his mind. He didn't realize he closed his eyes until Sanzo gently ran a finger underneath one of his eye lids right up to his forehead. Opening them, he breathed partially through his teeth, willing his body to stay calm as his stomach rose and fell rapidly. He clasped the sheets in an iron grip, feeling his legs begin to shake where Sanzo was holding them down on the bed.

_"A – are . . . Are you going to kill me?"_

_"I should; it would make things easier, but I adore a challenge. I need a reason to keep going now. I need to give you a reason to keep living Cho Hakkai." _

Memories of that night wouldn't stop, and he prayed to God, they wouldn't interfere with what he wanted right now. The days that followed after the attack seemed to eat away at him, the rape kit, the doctors, his therapist, all of it wound into a giant tornado of nothing but thought and emotion. When Sanzo and Gojyo returned to his apartment, it felt like his heart had been able to start beating again. He gave himself a reason to be himself; he still had these two men whom he wanted to care for. In their own particular strange way, they were trying to help him, which he was grateful for. They have their personal peculiar way about it, but they showed that they were still willing to let him feel, to let him live again.

Not to let that fucker think he made a victim out of Hakkai.

Managing to stay semi-calm, he tried to give Sanzo a reassuring if not strained smile. Managing to lift a hand, he set it gently on Sanzo's cheek, even if they were trembling terribly. The blond detective still didn't look reassured, but he turned to look over his shoulder at Gojyo, who seemed equally as worried. The red head had also been watching, slightly cautious as not to rush. His tall body moved up on the bed, his erection lining up with Sanzo's entrance.

"Just breath," Gojyo coaxed him.

Carefully, he pushed forward into the blond, letting his body push Sanzo's forward and in doing so, more into Hakkai. Closing his eyes again, Hakkai felt the force of two bodies ram into him at once. Sanzo sunk in all the way as he felt a pair of lips connect with the side of his neck. Hakkai and Sanzo's moans echoed one another, one in slight pain and the other in pleasure. Gojyo's large frame leaned over them both as he breathed rapidly and licked his lips. Some of his hair fell past his shoulders and landed on Sanzo's lower back. He pulled out a little and then sunk back into the blond, causing Sanzo to grunt slightly.

"Oh, fuck . . . You're so tight; it has been a while since you bottomed," Gojyo whispered mixed in with a chuckle. Sanzo glared at him over his shoulder but didn't say anything as he gave the red head inside him a slight sneer. Hakkai, on the other hand, squirmed, trying to adjust to his two lovers and the force of it all. Sanzo seemed to wait patiently for him as he adjusted, quietly wondering if it was too soon to be doing this. Gojyo must've shared his thoughts as he silently stared down at Hakkai's inner turmoil. Both men kept silent and supportive as Hakkai's green eyes finally popped open to give them a look of confirmation.

"Hakkai, you doing okay there?" Gojyo said gently. Hakkai's bottom lip shook for a moment before he swallowed the gathering saliva in his mouth. He nodded slightly and gently raised his knees a bit that was on either side of him, still in Sanzo's grip.

"Yeah, it feels good, Ah . . . " He panted in honesty.

And it did. He wasn't lying about that.

Reassured, pulling back, Gojyo rapidly let his hips move forward, giving the first thrust. The action of sinking into Sanzo led the blond to give his own shallow thrust into the brunette. Hakkai made a sound between a moan and a pain-filled groan. Some pain was still there; he knew it would be. He had been feeling it for the past few days, not having the courage to go back to the doctor for any sort of medication. Based on how he felt when he woke up after the rape, he knew that something inside of him had torn. It also probably didn't help that he had seen his own blood spread out on his bed sheets.

Both men moved in unison as Hakkai fought to keep his mind on the task and not buried somewhere in his memories. The lips on his neck moved to his chin, breathing against the skin, sweat gathering already on the blonde's forehead. Shakily, Hakkai let his arms come up, wrapping around Sanzo's neck and digging his hand into blond hair. The silky golden nest felt good, calming his nerves and just letting him simply lay back and enjoy what was going on. The force of two bodies ramming into him made him feel buried and smothered.

He felt safe though in some weird way, knowing he was far away from the one who hurt him. Sanzo and Gojyo wanted to make him feel again, to be able to be held and not think about what happened. The brunette realized that if he wanted to move forward, he needed to just relax and accept what was going on around him.

Spreading his legs moderately, he moved his hips in unison to Sanzo's. He breathed gently through his mouth, letting it hang open slightly for better airflow. They moved smoothly against one another, like waves on the shore of a beach. Gojyo's eyes were closed, concentrating, taking the lead in their lovemaking. A particular thrust nailed Hakkai's prostate hard, which caused him to see stars. He moaned loudly, and it caused Gojyo to pant harshly across Sanzo's shoulder blades. Hakkai looked through his sweat-covered banks, noticing the contrast of skin that both men had as it melded together. Seeing the way it moved reminded Hakkai of sand in the desert, pale grains moving against dark ones in a never-ending sea during a dust storm.

The look on both of their faces was of utter rapture, and Hakkai briefly wondered how long it had been since these two men had last slept together. Between the case and being worried about his well-being, he guessed it had been a while since both these men had been intimate with one another. He wanted to do something for them, something to give back all that they had done. Whether it be for him emotionally, mentally, and physically. They had always been there, when he was hospitalized, when he had been a target . . . His heart swelled at just the thought that they had even missed him when they were gone for those few days that he had made the biggest mistake of his life. The thoughts alone caused something inside of him to grow.

He would forget that he promised himself. He would make it so these two men would never have to worry about him, for as long as he lived. Laying back, he accepted their love.

Moving as one, all three men worked toward their completion. Gojyo's hair was like a wild mane is a flew behind him, blond locks moving also. Hakkai arched into their touches, whether it was on his thighs, his knees, his chest or his face. In turn he tried to give his much as he got. Whenever he found a bit of skin that either belonged to Sanzo or Gojyo, he would play his lips on it or gently caress it. Hands stroked skin as they all rode each other to bliss.

As Gojyo leaned over Sanzo's back, he kept one hand on the fair-haired's hip, the other seeking out Hakkai's knee. The erection trapped between the brunette, and the blond's stomach ached and Hakkai brought his hand up to reach for it. As if reading his mind, Sanzo didn't let him get that far. Staring into violet eyes, Hakkai nearly felt his own role back into his head as the blond grasped his erection and worked into him harder. The bed creaked harshly as rain pattered the window, thunder crashing into the sky. Anybody who would've looked in on the room would've seen three bodies moving in unison, raindrops melding as they traveled downwards. Bodies arching Sanzo received the most of the pleasure being trapped in between as both a bottom and the topper. Gojyo's large frame was perfect as he supported both men on the bed.

Hakkai felt his abdomen tighten as the approaching orgasm threatened to surface. He felt a bit of saliva coat the side of his mouth where Sanzo had been kissing him, looking up, he could barely see through his eyelids as Gojyo had captured Sanzo's chin and turned it, so he could kiss him. The site was highly erotic, and it did something to Hakkai. He helped work harder moving his hips and his legs. The site of all three of them doing this to each other made him quake in a way that was much different from fear. Fingers tightening on the sheets, he felt a hand on his knee travel downward to join the hand on his erection. Together Sanzo and Gojyo pumped him, working him toward that ending of bliss.

"Ah, Sanzo, Gojyo . . . " Hakkai begged. He threw his head back and clenched his teeth as both men seemed to respond to their names being called. Both looking down, stared at what they were doing to their brunette lover. Gojyo didn't let up at the site as he continued to pound into Sanzo, who in turn pounded Hakkai. For their first time together, all three men would discover something unknown about each other. New bodies joining conjointly in a way most people would've never thought of.

Hakkai practically screamed as one thrust almost sent him over the edge, the hands on his cock keeping him stable for now. The red head and the blond could tell that the brunette was getting closer and nearer. Not wasting time and only seeking the end, they decided the time for romance would come later. Gojyo set up to his full height on his knees one hand clenching on the blond's hip. Sanzo's breathing was rapid as Gojyo thrust harder and his own cock struck deep inside Hakkai. Not being able to hold on much longer, one of Hakkai's hands clutch onto Sanzo's shoulder in warning. Understanding, Sanzo moved with Gojyo and together, gave a brutal thrust on both their ends.

Crying out, Hakkai came hard under them, fluid leaking out and washing over his stomach to the sheets. Sanzo's stomach became covered as he clenched his teeth, the brunette tightening around his cock. The feeling alone sent shocks of electricity up Hakkai's spine. Utter pleasure was all he could think of as the amazing pressure inside of him from the force of two bodies collided. His green eyes widened as moisture lined his vision, spilling over onto his sweating face. He threw his head back, the two hands on his cock squeezing him and milking him of his fluids.

Giving out with a long drawn out groan, Sanzo came inside the clerk, arching his back and in turn squeezing Gojyo. The red head groaned as the sight of both his lovers coming, and it sent him over the edge. His thighs shook as he struggled to stay upright, emptying himself into the blond as his hair flew behind him. Collapsing on Hakkai's chest, Sanzo's hot breath coated his collar bone. The brunette felt moisture run down his cheeks, and he froze when he realized that it wasn't sweat. Picking up a hand, he ran it under his eye and cleared away the tears.

They weren't tears of sadness or shame; they were tears of happiness.

Gojyo pulled out, a rush of liquid following and shakily crawled up next to Hakkai, letting his hand travel to Sanzo's disheveled mop of hair. The red head had trouble catching his breath as he snuggled up to Hakkai shoulder.

"You all right there Blondie?" he asked, voiced drained and raspy. Sanzo picked his head up from Hakkai's neckline and gave Gojyo an almost lazy look.

"I could ask the same of you," he only replied. Hakkai stomach rose and fell with every shaky breath. Tan fingers reached up and grasped under Hakkai chin. A pair of lips gently caressed his own and Hakkai was sure that Gojyo could taste some of the salty tears that had previously been there. Sanzo's arm winded its way around his waist, bringing him to his chest and holding him tightly. Gojyo rubbed his back as the lips instead migrated to the back of his neck, hands stroking his spine. The brunette knew he was shaking, whether it was from the lovemaking or what he got from it. He didn't feel a hundred percent yet, but he did better than he thought he would. Sanzo hugged him tightly as Gojyo winded his arms around them both, spooning his back. Hakkai closed his eyes for a brief moment before he opened them and looked into violet.

Sanzo's gaze remained soft as he felt Gojyo's breath hit the back of his neck. Snuggling into the blond neckline, he brought one of his hands backwards to find one of Gojyo's as it set itself somewhere on his lower back. He threaded his fingers with the redheads, squeezing them.

"Thank you," Hakkai whispered softly in a drained voice. He closed his eyes tight, more tears threatening to spill over. The two bodies on either side of him didn't say anything as he silently held him. Hakkai could sense the comfort that was willing to surface. As he felt the warmth surrounding him, he couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with this one notion that kept floating around inside of him. Taking a deep breath, he held it for a moment before he released it, calming himself. He didn't see violet eyes meet red over Hakkai's shoulder, communicating in silence. Gojyo gently leaned down until his lips were hovering over the back of Hakkai's head. His face was in chocolate hair as Sanzo chose to bury his own lips into Hakkai's bangs, softly kissing the skin.

"You're welcome," they said softly in unison.

Gojyo brought up the covers, cocooning them all together. The rain beat against the windows, silently drowning the world outside. Hakkai quietly and softly fell asleep alongside Gojyo. Sanzo still awake and staring at them both. He silently wondered what was going to happen next. He decided though, that no matter what, in his own silent declaration, he refused to let anything more happen to Hakkai.

And he had a feeling; Gojyo felt the same way as well. Hakkai was theirs now, and nobody, not even the rainy-day killer could change that.

* * *

A man sat on the hotel bed, staring out the window. His long legs pressed together as he sat straight, head tilted slightly at the pattering glass plane. He heard the shower running as he sat there on the bed, waiting for his friend to come back out. He didn't have to wait long as the door silently opened in a flash of steam flooded into the room. The man standing in the entrance to the bathroom sighed, running the fingers through his shockingly orange hair. Zenon looked toward his friend who still sat in the same position he had left him fifteen minutes ago. He frowned with a small tint of worry as his friend chose to let his eyes remain closed, sitting there with fisted hands resting across his thighs.

"You shouldn't sit like that, you can hurt your back again," Zenon remarked in a semi-scolding voice. His friend looked toward him for a moment but gave no indication that he cared about what was said. He simply turned his head back toward the window, letting his hands relax.

"I have more things to worry about then my back pain," the man said softly in a monotone voice. Zenon wore nothing but a towel as he walked over toward his friend. His friend didn't seem perturbed at his state of dress as he sat down right next to him, side to side. His tan skin shone in the lighting from the lamp in the dingy two bed hotel room. He didn't need to look forward to know that Zenon was lined with muscle upon muscle, his figure coated in scars and scratches from his past.

Sighing, Zenon scratched the back of his neck as he looked toward the other biker. He had known Shien for a long time; he trusted the man above all others. This man had taken him from his darkest times, even the times when all he could think about was revenge and killing. The blue-haired man chose to let his hair today rest softly against his back, long and shining from the moisture of the rain. It was very rare for Zenon to see Shien like this, the usually calm man seeming tense for one reason or another.

He looked thin in his purple jacket, his jeans dirty from tracking through the muddy weather. He was paler in comparison, a square jaw complemented by a long-standing swan like neck. He may have looked like a weak person, but Zenon knew about all else that Shien could be deadly when he needed to be. After the police had caught up with him, he sent Shien back to the hotel to wait for him. He had just returned about an hour ago to see his friend sitting on the bed, staring at the wall like a zombie. Even when Zenon suggested that he hop inthe shower, Shien showed no signs of life. Deciding maybe Shien needed some alone time, he instead decided to take the shower, hoping his friend would snap out of whatever state of mind he was in.

"What are you so worried about; cops got nothing on me," Zenon bragged. The orange haired male reached toward the stand near the bed and picked up his cigarette. Shien's head tilted downward and very briefly he let his eyes flicker open. They were pale as they wandered the room settling back on his gang leader.

"I'm not worried if they have anything on you, I'm more worried at this point about what you want to do about all this," he replied slowly.

"Shit, not this again. Shien, just stop already. I know what I have to do, all right?" Zenon said irritably. Shien didn't look like it, but he was slightly hurt by the rude comment. Sighing the man stood from the bed and walked toward the table near the television. He picked up his yellow hair band and carefully wrapped it around his wrist. Reaching back he grasped the base of his hair and started braiding it.

"Very well, I won't talk anymore tonight," he replied in an almost defeated voice. A sudden pair of hands on his own stopped him from his actions of braiding his hair. He turned his head slightly to look at Zenon, who stood directly behind him. Shien's stomach dropped when he realized Zenon was no longer wearing a towel around his hips. The one good eye Zenon had was narrowed in contemplation, studying his blue-haired companion. He pressed against Shien's back, letting the man feel his hot skin through his thin jacket.

"Your skin is cold," Zenon whispered into his ear. Shien gave a light shiver as Zenon's hand came forward and smoothed some hair away from the back of his neck. A pair of arms wrapped around him, squeezing him to the chest behind him. A pair of lips descended on his neck, going up the column to nibble on the ear lobe. Shien made a sound of defeat as the other hand immediately went to his belt and undid it.

"I'm always cold," Shien said quietly. Zenon made a sound of acknowledgment that didn't stop in his actions. The hand swiftly went down the front of Shien's jeans, grasping him through his underwear.

"No wonder you like to cuddle," Zenon husked. Spinning Shien around he didn't waste time as he captured the other man's lips. He hadn't felt this way for another person in such a long time. Shien opened a new door for him, one he thought he could never be able to walk through. When the man found him, bleeding and broken in a back-alley way, he at no time thought they'd have this relationship. Shien did something to him in a way he couldn't describe. Grasping the back of Shien's head, he built his tongue in further, in turn the man wrapped his arms around his shoulders and holding on tightly. He set Shien on top of the table, opening his legs and moving between them. He was sick of cops, now he just wanted to relax and spend the evening thoroughly loving his best friend. Shien never really showed much emotion toward anyone else when they were in public. If anything he was ever the silent soldier, diligently guarding his master. He loves these times with Shien, even if he never admitted it out loud. In a way, he was happy that Shien only showed his true side to him. Carefully removing all the blue-haired man's clothing, he settled down to lay on his back, arms stretched above his head. His blue hair fanned out, some of it going over the table edge. Zenon's heart rate sped up at the site, his arousal aching. Shien gave his own version of a smile, a very small upward turn of lips as he opened his knees further.

"Zenon, the rain isn't letting up," Shien said as he ran a hand down his own stomach.

The orange haired male chuckled as he leaned down to kiss his lover.

"Then I guess we are going to be here for a while, aren't we baby?" Zenon smiled against his lips.

* * *

TBC


	20. One thing at a time, and then some

**Chapter 20: One thing at a time . . . And then some.**

* * *

_His heart was beating in a way that matched the rain drops that rapidly hit his face. He was running quickly, following behind his friend, trench coat flying. At intervals, he got so close to the other man, his long red hair almost brushing against his cheek. The other male suddenly stopped, looking around and turned toward him, rain drops dripping off of his bangs. He wiped them away as his eyes focused on his partner who had caught up to him._

_"Which way did he go?" The other rushed out. He blinked and turned his head every which way, catching a flash of someone running ahead._

_"Over there! Behind the shop!" He shouted, pointing across the alley way._

_Both men took off, dodging people on the sidewalk and cars in the street. Brown locks swept against his eyes, his glasses threatening to fall off. He kept up a good pace, the thrill of fieldwork traveling up his legs. They were close now, he and his red-haired partner. They turned an alleyway and saw him shivering against the wall of a dead-end alley._

_They approached cautiously, the brunette drawing the gun from his holster. The red-haired man followed behind him. The man suddenly whirled around, looking scared out of his mind._

_"It wasn't me! I didn't kill her!" he screamed in hysterics. The man hugged the wall as if it was his last line of defense. The brunette frowned and didn't lower his gun as he moved slowly closer._

_"Regardless, we need to take you in," he said. He watched his red-haired partner approach the perp, cuffs in hand. Before he could get too close, the perp moved._

_In a sudden movement, he dashed forward in an attempt to run through the detective. A flash of something metallic and silver protruded from the man's hand, aiming right toward his partner. Not thinking about it, the brunette shot his gun, sending the hysterical man to the ground. The man screamed as his partner quickly got on the ground to hand cuff him, sending the knife to the side near some trash cans. Satisfied, both men called an ambulance and dragged him to the mouth of the alleyway._

_When backup arrived, his red-haired partner turned to him, patting him on the back. The brunette smiled, glad that his friend was safe and alive. His heart warmed at seeing his partner unharmed as the warmth of the hand on his back radiated between his shoulder blades._

_"Good job, he had a knife on him. I couldn't have done it without you," the red-haired man said. The brunette smiled softly and nodded his head at his partner. Wiping the water from his glasses, he took them off and regarded his partner with his deep green eyes._

_"Thanks . . . Kougaiji," he said. Kougaiji smiled and took him by the elbow, starting to lead him back to their squad car._

* * *

Hakkai awoke with a jolt as a clash of thunder alerted him to the state of the outside world. Blinking rapidly, he shifted slightly as sweat clung to his frame. He looked around, not recognizing at first where he was. He was in his room, in his bed, in the dark. His head rested on something soft and . . . Breathing. Moving only his eyes, he stared into a cream-colored neck where his face had been previously buried. Glancing upward into golden bangs, Sanzo's sleeping face looked slightly more relaxed then when he was awake. The blond man looked softer, tender. He curled around Hakkai as if even in rest, he sought to keep him safe. He felt breath hit the back of his neck and realized that Gojyo had curled up somewhere near his back, possibly between the shoulder blade. Hakkai felt his legs tangle around not only the bottom of the sheets, but with Gojyo's long legs as well. The comforter had fallen just below his shoulder as an arm curled around his waist. Gojyo's large frame took up almost half the bed, but he still chose to sleep almost on top of the brunette. Hakkai felt another arm shift under his head and saw that it was Sanzo's. At this point, Hakkai was literally wrapped in a human cocoon of limbs and flesh. He blinked away the sleep and looked toward his digital clock on the night stand.

_2:47 a.m._

He bit his lip and tried to fight the urge to get up. His back was aching, but in a good way. He was bruised; he knew it, but he actually felt like he didn't mind it one bit. A flush came to his cheeks when he thought how much he didn't mind the fact that Gojyo and Sanzo had left some sort of mark on him.

He felt the need to roam but just wanted to stay here in bed, and wrapped safely in the detective's arms. He had never felt so comfortable in his entire life, feeling like he could stay there forever he knew in the end his body would ask things of him. His subconscious won out, and he scolded himself for simply not staying and enjoying the comfort. It took very careful navigation, and some grunts from his sleeping companions but Hakkai managed to get out of bed without waking them up. Still naked and cold, he walked to the pile of clothes and found his white wife beater and a pair of pajama pants. Smoothing down his hair, he looked out the window for a brief moment to see it lightly drizzling. Starting to walk out of the bedroom, he stopped at the door for a moment and turned to look at the sleeping detectives. Gojyo migrated to his back, mouth slightly open and hair everywhere on the pillow. His chest rose and fell smoothly as Sanzo remained on his side, head buried in the pillow and an arm outstretched in the space that Hakkai had been occupying. The brunette smiled warmly and quietly closed the door behind him with a soft click.

Walking into his dark apartment, he fought not to jump at the shadows. When he had been home for those three days, he had kept every light he had on. Now that it was dark, he had the urge to make it brighter but fought it down. His sore body took him to the kitchen, and he opened a cupboard to get himself a tea bag. A few minutes later, he grunted slightly as he sat on his couch, the leather cold on his still slept warmed skin. His hair was mussed and at the same time sticking up from sweating earlier. He blushed to himself and sipped his tea as he thought of all the things he had done last night with Sanzo and Gojyo. Chewing his lip, he felt that little cloud of fear work its way out of his stomach and travels down his legs. His emotions were running crazy, bouncing between the passion of lust and the warmth of love. Both men made him feel something he never thought he would ever have. Stability, warmth, advice . . . The things he had never gotten from anyone besides his sister or Kougaiji but now on a more intimate level. The rain that pattered the windows made his sinuses act up. The tea helped, but he felt a rapid headache start to form from his slight exhaustion. Remembering he kept his aspirin in the draw by his couch, he set his tea down and opened it. His hand froze when a picture stared up at him. Frowning, he suddenly realized the last time he had opened this drawer. Reaching in carefully, he picked up the picture he hadn't held for several years.

Kanan smiled up at him, happy and cheeks flushed. Her long honey brown hair swung over her shoulder in the braid, he had done that morning. Her favorite yellow dress complimented her green eyes as her wooden cross necklace swung from her delicate neck. She was wrapped around one of Hakkai's arms and squeezed it tightly as she smiled at the camera. Hakkai stood next to her, giving a thumb up and looking equally as happy. Hakkai couldn't believe the difference about how he looked back then. His hair was longer in the back, and some of his bangs covered his eyes over his glasses. Now that he thought about it, he didn't wear them as much, using them only really at work when he needed them. He was fitter in those days he noticed. He seemed to fill out his clothes much better in the past then than he did now. He seemed skinnier now and almost sickly in his opinion. The longer he stared at the picture, the more he realized how much he had changed since back then. He had just started as an evidence clerk, getting used to his surroundings and earning money on his own. Kanan waited tables at the diner Hakkai used to work as a cook at. He'd always encouraged her to a college, but she regularly had been happy where she was. She never complained about anything, she smiled and always laughed and remain happy most of the time. His sister was a light of hope sometimes, constantly encouraging him to do his best and just be himself. Their childhood was rough, being tossed from foster home to foster home. The orphanage was the worst in his opinion, always remembering nights where he and Kanan had gotten so cold that they huddled together for warmth. They were around the age of eight or ten, trying to survive in a dingy rundown environment on a very creaky and rusting bed. Those times were the worst for both, him and her. He remembered her always crying, because they never had enough to eat. Often Hakkai would go without just to make sure she had gotten sufficiently. He was never ashamed to admit that he was hungry, he had learned to survive the environment, but most of all he had learned how to take care of his sister. He loved her terribly, and now that he thought back on it; it hurt so much that she wasn't here anymore.

"Kanan," he whispered in the dark.

The brunette stared down at the photo as he felt hurt and sadness coat his insides. He looked so young back then, granted it was only a few years ago, but he didn't feel that way at present. The happiness he held back then was nothing compared too currently. He took a deep breath at the image of his sister. Her death had hurt him so badly that he had taken down all the pictures he had of her, not wanting to realize what he had lost. She was his reason for living, and he lived to take care of her. When she died, he thought he might have too in a way. He was a zombie, having no purpose, and now; he felt like he could try again. Sanzo and Gojyo brought something out in him. Something he liked to feel, something he had felt when his sister was still with him.

_Gouno!_

_Gouno . . . _

_You don't have to work so hard, and I'm here too, Gonou!_

_Gonou, how was work today?_

_You're the best Gonou!_

_I love your hands, is that a weird thing to say?_

_When I get better, let's travel somewhere, just you and me!_

He leaned back further on the couch, holding the picture against his chest as her words reverberated in his skull. She always had a way of making you feel welcome and warm.

A sudden chill went through his body, and he curled his legs closer to him. Bowing his head a bit toward his chest, he watched as dark clouds swirled underneath the moonlight coming through his window. The rain had turned into a misty fog, covering the streets and blocking other people's views should they have ever looked out the windows into the night. His lovers were in his room sleeping, but he still felt like in a way he was alone in his apartment. His dream came back to him, and he realized it didn't seem like a premonition or a déjà vu. It seemed different, half fake but at the same time, it held the face of one of his friends. He didn't know how long he sat there, but it must have been a while. His drink had gone cold, and he didn't feel like getting up to heat it again.

He awoke from his stupor as he heard the soft patter of feet on his carpet. Turning to look over his shoulder, he was surprised to see Sanzo emerging from his room. Hakkai looked to the clock in the kitchen and blinked as it neared almost four in the morning, not realizing he had been sitting on the couch for closely an hour. The blond looked sleep muddled as he ran a hand through his un ruly bangs. His eyes regarded Hakkai in both slight worry and curiosity.

"I woke up and you weren't there," he said, coming to stand beside Hakkai near the couch. Hakkai saw that the blond had put on his faded blue jeans that Gojyo had been wearing last night. He was bare chested, and Hakkai sat up a bit on the couch as Sanzo chose to occupy the cushion next to him. He suddenly frowned and reached forward, touching Hakkai's cheek. The brunette startled a bit as Sanzo pulled back, wiping the wetness from his eyes.

"Oh! Um . . . How embarrassing," Hakkai whispered, starting to wipe now at his face. Sanzo made a sound along the line of a sigh and instead pulled on Hakkai's arm. He scooted closer and carefully wrapped the brunette in his embrace. Hakkai easily fit into the blond's arms and settled himself there, feeling the warmth of Sanzo's skin coat over his own body. The blond set his chin on top of his head and simply sat there, staring at the far wall.

"We thought you ran away or something," Sanzo said out of the blue. Hakkai blinked from his current position in Sanzo's neck line. He pulled back a bit and looked into half sleepy violets.

"Ran away? No, nothing like that," Hakkai said softly, shaking his head. The blond cast his eyes downward to the picture Hakkai was holding in his hand. He easily reached over and took it. Hakkai was a bit surprised at the boldness but didn't pull away as Sanzo took the picture. The blond studied it a moment, holding it eye level.

"Your sister?" he asked softly. The brunette nodded and as he closed his eyes.

"Yes, her name was Kanan, my twin," he said, lost in thought. Sanzo carefully set the photo up right near the end stand by Hakkai's cold tea cup. He winded one arm around Hakkai, pulling him a bit closer. They sat in silence for several minutes, listening to the rain patter against the large windows. Hakkai was lost in his thoughts as he pressed against Sanzo's bare chest, simply relishing in being in someone's hold.

"I don't really remember my mother." Sanzo suddenly said staring at the far wall. Hakkai blinked in confusion as he sat up a bit to look at Sanzo. The man's eyes were half mast and glazed as if he were lost in some distant memory.

"She died when I was six. My dad raised me by himself. I think her name was Kouran. She was seventeen when she got pregnant . . . My parents started young." Hakkai listened carefully, but Sanzo still wouldn't look at him. Carefully, Hakkai raised his hand and smoothed it against Sanzo's cheek. The blond finally looked at him, still keeping that glazed appearance.

"My father was a detective too. I would often stay up almost all night until he came home. And when he did, that's when I finally felt the most relief that he was safe and alive. I don't remember my mother enough to miss her, but I imagine it must've left a large hole in his heart." Hakkai nodded in understanding, drifting his eyes down to look at the cushion of his couch.

"I've lived my whole life with her, and we were always together. The day she died, it felt like a part of needed to. I didn't have anybody except Kougaiji . . . Even so, he couldn't always be here when I needed him. I've changed a lot since then, I've lost a lot of confidence in myself. I feel like I've become weaker without her, but at the same time I wanted to become strong and have her know that I made out okay," he whispered into the dark. Sanzo seemed to nod in understanding as he brought Hakkai back down to his chest.

"I became a detective because I wanted to prove to my father that I could remain strong. I wasn't very outgoing as a child. I didn't have many friends. Becoming a detective made me feel like I carried on a piece of him somehow." Hakkai huddled closer as he listened to Sanzo talk.

"Sanzo, is your father . . . ?" Hakkai began to ask.

"No, he's still alive. We just haven't . . Been on speaking terms lately. I haven't called him in forever," Sanzo answered almost casually. The brunette made a thoughtful noise in the back of his throat.

"I don't think I was ever away from my sister for too long. She used to get panicky when I didn't call if I happened to be running late at work," he smiled in memory. Sanzo casually stroked his back and Hakkai gently let more of his weight settle on the man. It was nearing almost five in the morning now, and Sanzo looked like he could use more sleep. He seemed comfortable though and Hakkai felt a bit privileged to be seeing the blond so relaxed like this on his couch. The fair-haired's words though bothered him, he wondered briefly why he currently wasn't speaking with his father. The hand on his back smoothed up to the back of his neck and almost sighed as it ran through the hair on the back of his head.

"Sanzo . . . No matter how important you think it is, common misunderstandings are always petty," Hakkai suddenly said, sitting up. Sanzo looked at him, eyes frowning a bit under his bangs. The hold around Hakkai's waist tightened slightly as the brunette sat up fully.

"You think that person will always be there . . . They may or in my case, may not. Kanan's death was so sudden, and it killed me. The worst part being, I was there when she died. I fell asleep in the chair by her bed, totally unaware that when I went to wake her . . . She was already gone. Those are the deaths that hurt the most, the ones that remain unsuspected," the brunette explained. Hakkai's green eyes softened as he gently set a hand on the blond's cheek.

"I've never believed in avoiding family, since I didn't have much of it. Don't avoid him for too long . . . Okay?" He asked of him softly. Sanzo's look was unreadable as he took in Hakkai's words. He sighed a moment later and gave a shrug of his shoulders, sitting up and running a hand through his messy hair.

"Maybe I'll call him tomorrow," he suddenly said. Hakkai smiled fully and made to stand from the couch.

"We should probably go back to bed; it's still early," he offered. Sanzo stood and stretched as he grabbed Kai's elbow to lead him back to the bedroom. The blond suddenly stopped and looked over his shoulder at him.

"How long has your sister been gone?" He asked. Hakkai seemed surprised by the question, but he tilted his head in thought.

"About . . . Five years, it will be six in about two months," he answered. Sanzo seemed to look like he was thinking for a moment.

"Just curious," was all he said. Hakkai didn't question it as he was pulled back toward his room. Gojyo was sitting up looking tired as he watched them enter.

"Caught the runaway? Good, the bed was getting cold," he said, leaning back against the head board. Sanzo didn't comment as he let Hakkai slide in first and situate in the middle. The blond slid in behind him and brought the blankets back up around them all.

"Sorry, habits die hard I guess," Hakkai answered as he leaned over and moved some hair from Gojyo's eyes. The red head smiled and slung an arm around his neck, kissing him softly.

"More nights like last night and that habit will be broken," he smirked. Hakkai blushed and swallowed some saliva as he felt Sanzo press against his back.

"Less talk, more sleep," was all he said. Gojyo and Hakkai smiled as Sanzo plopped onto his pillow, much unlike his character, and closed his eyes. Settling in, Hakkai felt two sets of arms' wrap around him as everyone's breathing evened out. Closing his green eyes, he was lulled by the rain on the window, sending them all back into a slumber.

* * *

TBC


	21. Unexpected visitor and guest

**Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki or characters.**

**Chapter 21: Unexpected visitor and guest.**

* * *

The week that went by would be one Hakkai would call his adjustment period. He was calming down still from his rape and Gojyo and Sanzo in their own ways soothed him. Even with the two helping him get out of his apartment, Hakkai had to admit he was nervous. He had not set a step outside since he had come back from the doctor's office. It felt good to get fresh air, and he admitted he had become a bit of a hermit and would make himself sick if he just stayed inside and worried. He wanted to go back to work soon and get out of this slump he felt he had fallen in. Gojyo had convinced them all to go out for dinner and the thought alone made Hakkai stop and think. Looking at himself in the mirror, he grimaced to see the dark circles still under his eyes. He seemed pale from lack of sunlight and of course offered to stay behind.

No dice.

Both men literally picked out his clothes and shoved him into the shower. The brunette confused by the behavior simply did as told. He felt he should be grateful after all, he was probably taking up much of their time. During that week, both detectives still had to go to work. They gave him the same speech every day before they headed out of the apartment.

Lock the doors, draw the blinds, pretend you're not home.

Often Hakkai's gaze would drift to the kitchen draw that still had the gun inside. When he was home independently, he found himself turning the television toward the kitchen, so he could watch it from his coffee island. He felt some need to always be near the draw when he was left alone, almost expecting the man who hurt him to come through the door any moment. He pretty much camped near his kitchen as he watched the rain pummel the city for hours on end. He should have been eating, but the sound of his empty apartment made him to scared to turn his back to the door.

Drifting into his thoughts for those hours, Hakkai often tried to remember anything, any detail that might have helped him figure out who broke into his apartment. Still fuzzy on the details, he tried to clean himself up before Gojyo and Sanzo returned. He kept busy, doing laundry, cleaning, making the bed, vacuuming, dusting his overflowing book shelves, and he needed to send in his article if he wanted to get paid for it. The detectives would always return, surprised at the dinner on the table as they were soaked from the rain.

Hakkai was surprised that they made his apartment their permanent stop for the night. They each had overnight bags stashed in his room, and he wondered if he was keeping them from their apartments. He didn't mind them over for the entire week, but he wondered briefly if either detective needed to head home for a night to either recuperate or clean out their refrigerators.

He stared at his island as he smelt his roast cooking in the crock pot by the sink. He reflected back on the week and blushed despite himself. It seemed as if almost every night they all had been . . . Together.

Closing his green eyes, Hakkai wallowed in embarrassment at how loud he had been. He was sure his neighbors had heard him. This had been happening almost every night; something would set the detectives off, an action, a word . . . Last night it had been because Hakkai had just been running his fingers through his hair on the couch to scratch an itch, it was ridiculous in some ways . . . And highly satisfying in another.

Though he could say . . . He really didn't mind all the sex . . .

He was used to the two men and had learned to avoid his shyness. He touched more and definitely wasn't afraid to be vocal anymore. He must have been loud, especially at the way Sanzo of all people had been smiling when he shouted the other man's name last night.

He came out of his thoughts as the door opened and two wet detectives came through the door. Hakkai looked to his counter and smiled as he remembered to make coffee for them. He got up to take their coats and hang them as they cursed at their wet shoes.

"I told you to spend the extra fifty and not get me leather but nooo . . . You had to have these water absorbing sponges!" Gojyo complained, glaring at Sanzo. The blond glared back at the red head as he handed Hakkai his trench.

"I'm not spending two hundred on field shoes, get over it ass wipe," Sanzo hissed as he shook out his hair. Hakkai almost smiled at their banter if they didn't happen to look so serious.

"Okay, all right, just take them off, and I'll dry them off. There is coffee brewing so go get a cup while I get some towels," Hakkai soothed. Both men seemed to calm instantly as they looked at their brunette.

"Yeah fine. I'll get us some cups. Princess Sanzo needs to be wiped down before he has a freak out," Gojyo muttered, walking to the kitchen. The blond continued to glare from under his wet mop. Hakkai took pity on him and smiled softly as he picked up the towel he left by the doorway.

"I take it both of you had a hard day?" He asked the blond. Sanzo stood still as the brunette wrapped the towel around his neck and began to dry his bangs and around his ears. Violet eyes closed and for a moment, Hakkai thought Sanzo might have started purring like a large cat.

"Gojyo pissed off the chief first thing in the morning and she put us on field duty today. He just had to remark how her work shirt made her tits stand out just right in this weather," He answered in annoyance. Hakkai faltered in his drying as he stared wide-eyed at the blond.

"Seriously? Oh my . . . I'm afraid she is very . . . Sensitive about her bust size. Last man I knew commented on it got sent to the juvenile division for almost a year," He said, continuing with his task. He finished Sanzo's hair and smiled at how it now stuck up in several places. He smoothed it down with a small smile and always liked how soft it was when he could touch it. Gojyo walked up behind him with a scowl and almost shoved a cup of coffee into Sanzo's hands.

"It was meant to be a compliment. Not my fault she took it the wrong way," He mumbled. Hakkai took the same towel and instead slung it over Gojyo's shoulders.

"All right, what is done is done. Just make sure to get your whole head dry, or you'll catch a cold," Hakkai told him, choosing to hold his coffee cup. Gojyo instead chose to smirk and wrap his arms around Hakkai's waist.

"Don't worry baby. I can think of a million things to do right now to get us all nice and steamy," He said lewdly with a grin. Hakkai blushed despite himself as Gojyo pressed the length of his body against the brunette. It was true, Gojyo's body despite the cold weather always had a very high temperature. Red hair brushed against his face as Gojyo smirked down into his now blushing one. The hands around him tightened, and Hakkai struggled not to drop Gojyo's coffee in the hallway. A look came into the man's eyes, and all Hakkai could do was stare. It was one of those cases again where a simple action triggered a chain of events. He heard a rustling behind him and briefly turned his head to see what the blond was up to. He saw Sanzo kick off his shoes and let his other coat fall to the floor. Hakkai would've scolded him if at the moment his mind wasn't so preoccupied, and the hands on his hips weren't pulling him closer. His hand shook and he almost dropped the mug of coffee. Sanzo grabbed it and set his own next to it on the stand by the door. Hakkai felt the second body, slightly cold press against his back. Lips made contact with the back of his neck as he almost melted between them. A second pair of hands came from behind in and joined Gojyo's as they gently went up his sides. It seems whatever animosity both men were feeling toward each other had seemed to dissipate immediately with the brunette's presence. Hakkai moaned as the lips on his neck travel to his shoulder, right where the skin was meeting clothing. Gojyo gently put a knee between his legs, and already Hakkai could feel the brief feeling of arousal his stomach. He couldn't believe how utterly shameless he had suddenly become, but at the same time he just didn't give a damn.

Hands moved all over him as he advanced into their touches. They stood there in the hallway, kissing at skin and just feeling the heat bounce off each other. Hakkai closed his eyes as he felt the stresses of the day fade under their fingertips. It seemed to be the same for them Sanzo continued to move to the skin behind his ear and nip at the ear lobe. Gojyo's hands went up his chest to his neck as he gently held Hakkai's head in place and planted a soft kiss on his lips. It was soothing and relaxing, and it was starting to build up to something more. Green eyes opened, and Hakkai took a deep breath. His body was starting to shiver, but it wasn't in a bad way. The hands urged him toward the living room and eventually knew that it would take him to the bedroom. He didn't do anything to stop it as the kisses became harder and his touches became softer.

"Gojyo . . . Sanzo-" Hakkai whispered longingly as the red head was nearly face to face with him.

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

Hakkai froze and tensed more than a tree in winter. His eyes bulged in his skull; he could feel it. Gojyo and Sanzo were instantly alert, pulling away intimately but not physically. Their eyes shot toward the door and they both stared at it for a moment. The banking happened again and Sanzo quickly went for his jacket on the floor. Hakkai was shaking now, trembling in fear. A thousand different scenarios cascaded through his skull, and all his eyes could do was immediately go to the drawer in his kitchen. His mind shattered, and he didn't even feel Gojyo's arms wrapped around him protectively and pull him away from the door. He didn't watch is Sanzo emerged from his crouched position with his gun in his hand. The banging became louder and Hakkai's heart got louder with it.

_Get the gun, the gun! Get the gun now, get it, get out of Gojyo's grip and get that gun!_

_Kill him, don't let them inside, don't let him hurt you another time, don't let him hurt anyone ever again!_

He didn't realize he was struggling in Gojyo grip until the red head shook his shoulders.

"Hakkai, Hakkai snap out of it!" Gojyo whispered harshly at him. Hakkai's eyes were ripped away from the drawer and settled on Gojyo's nearly panicked red ones. He buried himself in the man's hold and clenched his teeth so tight that it hurt his gums.

"Don't let him get me, don't let him . . . Not again," Hakkai whispered in broken sentences. Arms wrapped around him and held him tightly. Red eyes looked at the door where Sanzo now held himself ready with his gun. He nodded at his partner and kept the gun behind his back as he set his hand on the door knob. Opening it quickly the person at the door almost jumped back at the sheer force of it.

"Hey, easy dude! What the hell?" A young voice drifted into the apartment. Sanzo stared the boy down with his hard violet eyes. He scanned the teen up and down before determining him not a threat.

"What do you want?" The blond asked, anxious to get rid of the stranger. The teen scowled and crossed his arms defiantly.

"Who the hell are you? The door man? Where is Kai? Hakkai!" He asked, shouting into the apartment.

The brunette in Gojyo's arms stopped shaking and blinked. He easily pulled back from Gojyo's grip and looked apologetically up at him. The red head stood confused as Hakkai set a hand on his arm and faced the door.

"Goku? Is that you?" Hakkai called back.

"Yeah dude! Tell the ass to let me in!" He called back. Hakkai if not a bit shakily walked toward the hallway with Gojyo right behind him. Sanzo scowled at the kid but a gentle hand on his back from Hakkai had him moving to the side of the door.

"Hakkai!" Goku shouted. He jumped forward, and the brunette was almost knocked backwards as the teen wrapped his arms around his waist. Hakkai smiled softly and gently petted the boy's soft chocolate locks.

"Goku, what a surprise, I thought you were at college?" He asked the boy. The boy pulled back and smiled widely. Hakkai tried to hide the fact that just a moment ago; he was having a freak out and just about ready to shoot the person at the door. Sanzo moved away and carefully picked up his coat, putting the gun back inside his pocket. Gojyo looked over Hakkai's shoulder at the kid and raised an eyebrow.

"Oy, who's the shrimp?" He asked the brunette. Goku's face went sour in an instant from that comment.

"Hey! Who you calling shrimp you cockroach!" He shouted, pointing at the tall read head. Gojyo's face instantly flared and Hakkai had to hold the other man back.

"Fuck you! I should kick your ass out of the fifth story window you bitch!" Gojyo cussed, holding up his middle finger. Goku and Gojyo continued to bicker until Hakkai caught a movement in the hallway. His green eyes looked up to see a young male about Goku's height standing just by the wall. He looked at Hakkai through hazel eyes that seemed exactly like Goku's. He stood there a bit nervously, shifting on the spot and giving a small nod of acknowledgment. He had a round face that was emphasized by his blackish blue hair tied up in a pony tail on the back of his head; some of his bangs flowing into his eyes. In Hakkai's opinion, he seemed rather shy which he found endearing right away.

"Goku, who is your friend?" Hakkai asked the boy who was still squabbling with Gojyo. The younger brunette stopped yelling and blinked. He turned around and slapped his forehead almost immediately.

"Oh! Sorry!" He said to the boy. Goku reached out and grabbed the boy's arm, pulling him next to him. The other male stumbled but said nothing as Goku latched onto him like a leech.

"Hakkai, this is Nataku. We met at college! He's my boyfriend!" He shouted with excitement, hugging the other tightly. The boy named Nataku blushed instantly, looking away. Hakkai smiled softly if not in a bit of a surprised way. He never would've imagined Goku suddenly going steady with another boy, but he always hoped that he would, even if it was a girl.

"Goku, that's great, come inside then, no need to stand in the hallway. Gojyo, would you get some more coffee cups please?" He asked the red head. Gojyo was still pumped from the arguing but slung an arm around Hakkai's shoulder and smiled.

"Yeah all right . . That little monkey bitch," He mumbled the last part. Sanzo still stood in the hallway, and Hakkai passed him a reassuring smile and with a small squeeze of the arm. He himself, was however still shaken up from his moment, but it passed and now he was just happy to see the boy again. Sanzo followed closely on his heels, and it made Goku raise an eyebrow at the strange behavior from the serious looking man.

"Yo, Kai, what is with the suit?" He asked, pointing at the blond. He still had a grip on his boyfriend Nataku as he led the other toward the couch. Hakkai turned around and cocked his head in confusion.

"Suit?" He asked the boy. Goku nodded and pointed back and forth from Gojyo to Sanzo.

"You get roommates or servants or something?" He asked the brunette. Hakkai blushed despite himself and tried to think of what he could exactly call Gojyo and Sanzo. It didn't feel right just announcing them what, fuck buddies, lovers? They hadn't gotten to that point in their relationship where they really are calling it anything at the moment. Hakkai was just happy to have them around, if he did have the feeling of love than he mostly kept to himself. One of these days he planned to have a nice long talk with both to see if this really was going anywhere.

"Well, to put it simply I suppose . . . Well . . . " He seemed for once at a loss as he looked around the room. Goku stared at him as if expecting an answer right away, knowing Hakkai for his quick answers, he seemed a little put off at the brunette wasn't immediately answering him.

"We're sleeping with him," Gojyo said from the kitchen. Hakkai's neck heated in a way he couldn't describe as he quickly looked back at Goku to see the boy's reaction. The boy's mouth had fallen open, and his boyfriend looked confused.

"At the same time! WHAT!" Goku shouted, jumping up from the couch. Sanzo's face never changed, and he didn't seem to be denying it either. He just looked annoyed at Gojyo for telling other people their private business.

"Very nice Gojyo, extremely subtle," Sanzo remarked with a glare. Hakkai felt his stomach drop as he slowly saw Goku face turn red.

"Um. Goku, why don't you sit back down with some coffee? Nataku, you're so quiet, would you like some snacks?" Hakkai offered.

* * *

Goku was glaring at Gojyo and Sanzo as he decided to sit on a chair in the middle of the living room. Hakkai pretended to be preoccupied with his tea as Nataku sat in another chair, admiring all the books in the room Hakkai had. He ate some apple slices quietly and looked at Goku as if the boy wanted to kill the two other men sitting on the couch.

"Um . . . Goku, you can stop glaring. It's really none of our business and besides . . . They seem very nice," Nataku offered, giving him a minuscule nervous smile. Hakkai looked up from his tea and gave Nataku a short nod.

"Thank you Nataku, but I'm afraid Goku is a very uh . . . A stubborn person. He won't back down," He told the other. Nataku nodded and ate another piece of apple.

"I think those two are fishy," Goku said, staring still at the blond and red head. Sanzo didn't give any emotion as he sat next to Hakkai on the couch. Gojyo was on Hakkai's other side, smoking a cigarette. After Hakkai had filled the detectives in about who Goku was, he wanted the boy to stay for dinner. Nataku had been quiet but charming and seemed like a good match to keep Goku in his reins. All of them had decided to settle for the night and changed into their night clothes. Nataku and Goku had brought a bag each and left it by the door. Goku wore his usual shirt and pajama pants while Nataku had on a matching pajama top and bottom, cream in color, which brought out his eyes.

"Fishy? Who drops in without calling you brat?" Gojyo hissed, setting his hands on his knees. He leaned back on the couch and casually slung an arm up and around the back of it behind Hakkai. The brunette knew Gojyo was only mad because they had been . . . Interrupted from what was going to probably be taken to Hakkai's bedroom. Sanzo still remained silent which for a moment was strange for him. Goku sneered and crossed his arms.

"I was here way before you jerk! I practically lived here! I bet you guys are perverts!" Goku shouted. Nataku looked nervously between them all and tried to sooth his agitated boyfriend.

"Goku, don't be rude!" Nataku urged.

"Yeah monkey bitch, don't be rude in someone else's apartment!" Gojyo teased. Hakkai frowned and looked at Gojyo.

"Gojyo, please don't–" Hakkai began.

"Yeah cherry top, this apartment isn't yours, its Kai's!" Goku reminded with a growl.

"Cherry top?" Gojyo shouted with disgust. Sanzo gave a small quirk of lips and filed the nickname away for reference.

"Did they run out of hair dye at the super market?" Goku smirked, crossing his arms again.

"Pin sized asshole!" Gojyo yelled, standing from the couch.

"Pussy!"

"Fucktard!"

"Bottom bitch!"

Sanzo quirked an eyebrow at him at that one. Nataku only continued to stare and stay out of Goku's way.

"Why don't you go drop the soap at the gym!" Goku shouted back.

"Sounds like someone needs some alone time with their vibrator!" Gojyo shouted, now in his face.

"At least I know how to turn one on!"

"You couldn't turn on a light bulb, let alone a man!"

Hakkai sighed into his cup as he leant back further on his couch. He hated to say it, but he felt a migraine coming on. He wasn't used to this kind of thing, and he at no time has ever had to separate teenagers for fighting. All in all, though, he never really expected Gojyo to get in this kind of juvenile battle with Goku. If an outsider looked in, they would swear that these two bickering men were brothers. Setting his coffee mug on his lap Hakkai shook his head softly.

"Make them stop please . . . " He begged no one, in particular. Sanzo shook his own head but seemed to be enjoying the show. Hakkai had a feeling, he wasn't getting any help from the fair-haired man anytime soon. For Sanzo, it must've been quite amusing. He wondered if the blond took personal joy in the redhead's discomfort. He seemed to be because Hakkai had never seen him so giddy, though he didn't really show it on his face. He could tell though at times when Sanzo was pleased with something, he'd have this weird quirk of his eyebrow. He often saw it in bed, as much as he hated to admit it.

"You'll never be the man your mother was!" Gojyo shouted in the apartment.

"Yeah? I bet my mom had a bigger dick than you!" Goku said right back.

"I don't know what makes you act so shitty but you're doing fine!"

"I'd choke you but they would call it animal abuse!"

"Yeah! If I wanted to talk to a bitch I would have bought a dog!"

"Need help taking out that tampon misses grouchy?"

"Did you have bitch flakes for breakfast? You seem like a professional!"

"I've been called worse by better!"

The shouting went on and on, and it didn't look like he was going to stop anytime soon. Nataku, the woeful boy, had moved away from Goku and moved his chair to sit by the arm of the couch. He looked like though he was used to this kind of shouting from Goku, Hakkai thought it best that the poor boy knew what he was in for with dating Goku firsthand. Goku and Gojyo weren't nearly the same height, but they chose to yell in each other's faces anyway. Hakkai couldn't help but find the situation funny, especially at how good they seemed to be at coming up with insults.

"He looked most of those up; he likes to keep a full arsenal at work," Sanzo said suddenly. Hakkai nodded and sighed again, choosing to look out the window this time and watch the rain. He hoped all the shouting was disturbing his neighbors.

"I thought I saw a comeback website in my computer history. Gojyo should really learn how to log off my computer when he's done with it," Hakkai advised.

"You must be a real sick freak if both of you are double teaming Hakkai! You both look like a couple of rapists to me!" Goku shouted suddenly.

Hakkai froze on the spot, and it took everything he had not to spit out the coffee in his mouth. Sanzo beside him tensed on the couch immediately, and Gojyo's eyes bulged. Both men quickly looked at Hakkai, who had steadily gone pale at the word. Not wanting to alert Goku, he hid his discomfort and shakily put down his mug back to his lap.

"Um, Goku, it's getting late. You really should go see your uncle before you turn in. I'm sure he wants to see you before you head back to college in a few days," Hakkai managed to steadily say. It seems the argument had dissipated at those words, and Goku dropped his scowl. He didn't notice the sudden tenseness which Hakkai was grateful for. He wasn't sure he was ready to tell Goku yet what had exactly been going on since he left for college.

"Hmmm, yeah I suppose so. Not like that old bastard will be happy to see me anyway. Probably got a new skank in his apartment," Goku sighed. He walked over to Nataku and gave him a small peck on the lips with a large smile.

"Behave until I get back," He joked, turning on the spot. Hakkai watched the boy leave the apartment, closing the door softly behind him. He swallowed the excess saliva in his throat and cleared it. With a smile, he turned to Nataku and addressed the boy.

Gojyo had swiftly walked back to the couch and sat down next to Hakkai, gently setting a hand on his thigh. Sanzo still looked tense, but he was about to run out the door and chase after Goku for what he said. He knew he couldn't blame the boy, but that didn't mean he didn't want the boy finding out anyway. Hakkai gently squeezed Gojyo's hand back but didn't turn to look at him. His green eyes were a bit shadowy, but he was hoping his smile would make up for it.

"Nataku, how did you and Goku get together?" Hakkai asked.

Nataku gave a little smile back with a tiny laugh, a small puff of air.

"I...Well. . . It wasn't under the best circumstances. I guess you could say we literally fell on top of one another," Nataku started with a small blush. Hakkai continued to listen, but he couldn't help but laugh. Gojyo snickered while Sanzo seemed to still be staring at the front door.

"I was at a football game on the campus. Our team won so everybody went to the after party. Goku was so drunk I think he thought he was somewhere else. A couple of people got into a fight, and I was sort of stuck in the middle," Nataku continued.

"They were that drunk?" Hakkai asked him. Gojyo waved a hand in the air.

"Ah college life, where kids get so drunk they fight about almost anything," He sighed.

"Well I almost got punched in the face when Goku came . . . Jumping out from no where. He punched the other in the face and dragged me out of there. It was really . . . Sweet, I guess. Unfortunetly, it wasn't fun when we got outside," He grimaced. Hakkai tilted his head.

"Why?" He asked. Nataku giggled and it made his cheeks flush.

"I had to hold his hair back as he vomited in the bushes," He said. Gojyo burst out laughing while Sanzo rolled his eyes. Hakkai gave a dry laugh and stood from the couch.

"Yes that sounds very much like him. Have you two been seeing one another long?" He asked.

"About three weeks now. He followed me around a lot and kept apologizing. He asked me out a week later, and I said yes. He actually seemed the most normal compared to others who had asked," He said with a shrug. Hakkai smiled fondly at him as he walked over to his island.

"Goku is a good kid. He had some rough patches, but I must say he smoothed them over quite well. He's a good boy though, I promise," He winked. Nataku gave a shy smile and nodded.

Sudden stomping from down the hall made them look at the front door. Goku walked through briskly and tried not to slam it behind him. He said nothing and showed no emotion as he sat on the couch, closest to Nataku. Hakkai frowned and walked over immediately. He knew that look; he had seen it many times in the boy's past.

"Goku? Are you all right?" Hakkai asked him. He crouched down and gave a face at the fresh bruise that now marred the boy's cheek. His eye was beginning to swell, and Hakkai recognized a punch when he saw one.

"I'm fine Kai. My uncle is just nothing but a drunk shit is all," Goku said stiffly, touching his bruise with a grimace. Hakkai's eyes became darker, and he stood up from his crouched position.

"Gojyo, would you kindly, please get Goku an ice pack. I'll be right back," He announced, heading to the door. Nataku worried over his boyfriend while Sanzo stood up to possibly follow Hakkai.

"Hakkai, where are you–?" Sanzo started, reaching for the brunette's arm. Hakkai turned to look at him, and it actually made Sanzo freeze in his tracks. The look in those green eyes was not friendly in the slightest.

"I have dinner in the crock pot, would you check on it for me?" He asked of the blond. Sanzo didn't look like he wanted to back down, but he slowly pulled his hand back.

"Sure," Was all he said. Hakkai smiled nicely this time as he went for his shoes.

"Be back in a moment," He announced to the room in a pleasant voice. Goku watched him go with a slightly nervous look.

"Oh shit, he is pissed," He whispered to himself.

* * *

Hakkai arrived at the desired hallway to hear yelling coming from an apartment. Stepping up to the door, he put on his nicest smile and knocked on the door. The yelling stopped for a moment and the door opened swiftly, hitting the wall behind it and making a loud crash. Hakkai was hit in the face by an aroma that almost made his lip curl. It was the combination of a dirty rag littered with smokers' cough and too much vodka. The man at the door looked worse for wear, but the brunette could make distinct markings that made him, and Goku related. He had never really encountered Goku's uncle before and usually had no plan to do so, but for some reason, he was especially pissed off today.

"The fuck you want?" The drunken man hissed. Hakkai smiled and tilted his head. The man's mop of hair was disheveled and covered in sweat. Looking into the entrance hallway, Hakkai saw an older woman with a black eye smoking a cigarette on the couch. He gave her a small smile before addressing the man.

"I believe this is yours; I was returning it," Hakkai suddenly said. The man looked confused in his drunken state and looked Hakkai up and down.

"What? What's mine?" He said angrily. Hakkai said nothing as the smile dropped from his face.

"This."

Without warning, Hakkai lifted his fist and balled it. Letting it shoot forward with a swing of his arm, he caught the man in the nose with a forceful punch. Goku's uncle went down with a howl as he clutched at his now broken nose. The woman on the couch dropped her cigarette and covered her mouth in surprise. Hakkai felt the adrenaline rush through his system as he went forward and leaned over the bleeding man.

"If you ever touch Goku like that again, I'm going to hunt you down, skin you, and leave you out in the sun to dry, understood?" Hakkai asked pleasantly. The man might've been drunk but shakily nodded his head and tried to get as far away from Hakkai as possible.

"Yes! Yes! I won't touch that little shit again, just get away from me! My nose!" He howled in pain. Hakkai straightened back up and hid his bloody hand behind his back.

"Good, I'm glad I could return the item that was lost to you. Have a nice day."

Without another word, Hakkai made his way back to his apartment.

* * *

When Hakkai returned the apartment, he saw Nataku almost in tears. Goku, though pressing an ice pack against his face, was trying to calm the other down.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. I didn't want to get you in trouble!" Nataku apologized, tugging almost painfully on his own ponytail in guilt. The ice pack fell to the floor as Goku dropped it to keep Nataku from tugging on his hair anymore.

"Don't do that, I wanted to tell him! Not my fault he's a stupid prick! I wanted to bring you here to meet everybody!" Goku said, hugging the other tightly. Nataku still continued to shed tears as the apartment door closed behind Hakkai. Everyone looked up to see him come in, and Hakkai continued to hide his bloody hand behind his back.

"Sorry, had to run a small errand. Dinner should be done by now," Hakkai said. Gently, he walked over to Nataku and set a hand on the boy's shoulder. Hazel eyes looked up at him, slightly drowned. The brunette gave him a kind smile and gently steered him toward the bathroom.

"Now now, everything's all right. Let's go wash up for dinner. Sanzo, would you be so kind as to hand out the plates? I'll be right back," Hakkai asked of him. He didn't stop to see their faces as he gently coaxed the boy to the bathroom, so he could wash his face. Once inside he turned on the tap and held up a towel for Nataku to take. The boy took it gratefully and went to wipe his face with it.

"I'm sorry. I just feel like this whole trip is my fault. But, I really wanted to meet everybody," Nataku said mournfully. Hakkai carefully set his knuckles underneath the water and watched the dry blood slowly go down the drain. When he was finished, he gently took the towel from Nataku and bent down slightly to help him with his face. The boy looked nervous and Hakkai put on a gentle smile to reassure him.

"Don't worry, it's not your fault. Goku's uncle is a very difficult man too . . . Live with. Goku's had a very hard life, but he's a good boy. I only do those sorts of things whenever it seems necessary. And as far as it goes Nataku, you're more than welcome to be here. I'm very happy that Goku found someone so wonderful," Hakkai told him as he gently wiped away his tears.

Nataku looked up at him with wide hazel eyes as a slow blush coated his pale cheeks. The boy looked to the side and gently fidgeted with his fingers on the towel.

"I'm not usually so nervous like this, but I honestly like Goku, and I wanted to meet his family. He talks about you a lot; you must've sincerely helped him," Nataku said. Hakkai's hand throbbed, but he hid his grimace as he experimentally clenched and unclenched his hand behind his back. There were a few shallow cuts on his knuckles from where his fist had made contact with a few parts of Goku's uncle's teeth. He smiled regardless and gently set a hand on top of Nataku's head, rustling his hair.

"You're family now too Nataku. You're welcome in my home anytime, so don't be afraid to stop by, all right? With or without Goku, but most likely at this point you'll probably be seeing more of us now that you're family," Hakkai smiled gently, pulling back the towel. The boy's eyes became bright and he stood up on his toes as he smiled widely.

"Thank you! You all seem really nice, and I know Goku won't say it...But I think he likes your red-haired friend, even though they fight a lot," Nataku smiled still. Hakkai hung up the towel as he carefully cloaked his still bleeding hand behind his lower back.

"Thank you Nataku, you're more than welcome."

* * *

Hakkai couldn't remember a time when his apartment was so crowded. His kitchen table finally was used to its full potential. All the chairs were occupied, filled with hungry bodies that chatted and laughed with one another. In another life, if he had ever gotten married, he would've imagined that this is what it would have been like had he ever had children and a wife. Instead, he had two lovers, a son, and his son's boyfriend. It still felt the same; they in contrast acted like a family in his eyes. Goku and Gojyo fought over food and how much they could eat. Nataku talked about school with Hakkai and what he wanted to do. Even Sanzo had put in his two bits about the educational system, surprisingly knowing a lot about it and offering advice which Hakkai thought was kind of sweet. Gojyo made dirty jokes now and then, so lewd it almost made Goku throw silverware at him. It was getting late and Goku helped him get out the futon that he'd always used whenever he stayed over at Hakkai's. The brunette wanted to put in Hakkai's room, but Gojyo, and Sanzo had heavily protested that. Hakkai didn't plan on doing anything tonight, but maybe his two lovers just wanted the privacy of being with him at night.

Goku eventually relented when Gojyo hinted that he would be alone with Nataku at night. That caused the younger boy to give Nataku a glance and a small smirk. Hakkai hoped sincerely though that Goku wouldn't involve Nataku in anything sexual on his first visit to someone else's apartment. Goku talked like a big game, but he knew eventually all that food in his stomach would make him fall asleep. They put sheets on the futon and just as Hakkai predicted, Goku was out within minutes surprising Nataku. Nataku gave them all a good night and gently crawled in with Goku, covering him with blankets. The rain had cleared now and left a misty fog over the city. Looking out his window, Hakkai's green eyes scanned the streets, looking for any signs of life. Gojyo was adjusting the clock by the bedside, and Sanzo had just taken off his shirt, shivering slightly at the cold air of the apartment. Hakkai had turned down the thermostat; he would turn it back up in the morning. He was busy gazing out the window when Gojyo reached over and tugged on his arm. The brunette was ushered into bed between the two men, and immediately Gojyo wrapped his arms around both.

The day must've been hard on both detectives because Hakkai was left the only one awake minutes later when the other two had fallen asleep. He watched them and couldn't help but firmly smile at how big his family had grown. He wasn't sure whether they were exactly were yet, but he loved them all like one. He'd only know Nataku for a day, but he already felt a deep affection for the boy who in turn had felt something for Goku. He must've been deeply special because the younger brunette was a extremely hard person to please. Nevertheless, they were good for each other, and Hakkai was commenting that. Slowly, Hakkai, from the events of the day, from being worried, scared, and angry, also felt exhaustion coat his body. He had gone through many mood changes today and his hand ached from punching Goku's uncle. He still couldn't believe what he had done, he had never really inflicted violence before, but he felt the man had earned it this time. Whether that man liked it or not, Goku was his family, like a son, someone he raised since childhood.

The body heat from both his lovers gently coaxed him into relaxation. He felt his body getting heavy, and he sank into his mattress as he adjusted to both winding around him. Feeling Sanzo's breath on the back of his neck, he sank further into Gojyo's own neckline and closed his eyes.

He hadn't taken his little pill in a while, and he hadn't seriously needed to. And he hoped he didn't need too ever again.

* * *

**TBC**


	22. Hitting the fan

**Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki**

**Bonus chapter because I'm in such a good mood!**

**This should be the last filler before I get back to some more action. Hope you all like it!**

**Chapter 22: Hitting the fan**

* * *

Goku's visit was an unexpected one, but not totally unwelcome. That morning-after everyone was up, Hakkai cooked them all a huge breakfast, still hiding his sore hand. He made sure Gojyo and Sanzo were all set before he ushered them out of the door to work, making sure that Gojyo would keep his mouth to himself this time. Goku and Nataku had been balls of energy so Hakkai decided that maybe they should all go out. Getting them properly attired, he was surprised to see the rain had actually held off and the sun broke through the storm clouds. It was still wet in some parts of the city, but it looked like it would actually dry out for a small period of time. Though the weather was warm, Hakkai made sure to play mother and dress the boy's warmly. Hakkai himself wore his favorite green sweater with a brown jacket over it. Goku wore his usual hood and Nataku seemed the most appropriately dressed in a blue jacket. Goku stuck to Nataku's arm like a leech while at the same time, the younger brunette grabbed Hakkai's hand and dragged them both out of the door. The fresh air felt nice and Hakkai had to admit that he had missed it.

They took a cab to about the middle of town where all the shopping districts were. Still full of breakfast, Hakkai decided to take the boys to the park. Nataku was from a rural area, not used to seeing tall buildings and so many cars. From what Hakkai had learned in the small amount of time he spent with Nataku, the boy seemed to be a country bumpkin. His father sounded like a strict man, a farmer, and he lost his mother when he was quite young. It either was work on the farm or go to college, Nataku decided to go to college.

The boys were quite the pair as Hakkai watched them, and Goku seemed to be the calmest Hakkai had ever seen the boy. They were good for each other, and hopefully it would stay that way if Hakkai had anything to do with it. Goku's bruise had healed up somewhat. He must have dodged when he saw the punch coming. Nataku had brought his camera and took pictures of everything just about around him. He took pictures of Hakkai and Goku with each other and then Hakkai took some pictures of them together. The younger male promised to make copies and send them to Hakkai via computer.

Wanting to do something nice for the boys, he decided to take them shopping. Nataku marveled at the huge mall that went almost four stories high. Goku attempted to drag him to the nearest outlet to try clothes. Hakkai had gone to a kiosk and ordered coffee and sat on the fountain, watching Goku pull up several shirts either for himself or fitting to Nataku. They scoured each floor and before Hakkai had realized it, he was holding bag after bag. He knew Goku needed fresh clothes, and he wanted to stop and get them both brand new sneakers as well. Nataku was shy of course, but Hakkai would have none of it; it's not like he spent his money on anything else. Each boy split the bags, and they all carried them to the food court where they sat down for some lunch. Gojyo had called him on his cell phone saying they were going to be a little late tonight, following a lead that had just come up way across town.

Regarding the case, Hakkai briefly thought about Kougaiji and how the other man was doing. He hadn't spoken to him in quite a while, and he worried for his friend. He also briefly wondered how he was going to tell Kougaiji about what had happened to him. He feared the day he would have to tell his friend everything.

Even so, that morning was spent with the two boys, and he found himself much calmer, relaxed and happy. It seemed like whatever happened to him was so long ago, even though it had only been a few days. The surprise visit was nice, one Hakkai actually welcomed wholeheartedly.

After lunch which consisted of burgers and french fries, something Hakkai hadn't had in a while, he got the boys' home to the apartment and carefully packed their bags with their brand new stuff so it would all fit. Both kept smiling at him, and it briefly made Hakkai think of Christmas morning, with the little ones jumping up and down with their new toys. He had relented though when Goku picked up some comic books and begged Hakkai to get Nataku some candy, the boy too shy to ask for himself. Goku had always been very grateful as a child, knowing he never got much. Nataku seemed overly surprised at the city clothing, much different from his own. The boys would only be staying for about two more days and Hakkai wanted to make the most of it. He wasn't sure how long the detectives would be, but he would make sure dinner would be waiting by the time they got back.

Goku asked all sorts of questions about them, like how they met and what they were like in private. Hakkai hadn't answered the private question, but he told them pretty much they were the way they were as they were seen. Goku didn't believe him, but Hakkai was used to that. The boy would have his suspicions and to be quite honest; Hakkai was sort of surprised that the boy didn't bring up any of their previous encounters. He had half expected the boy to pounce on him, as soon as he came to the door, but he was glad that Nataku was standing behind him. He didn't want to explain to Gojyo and Sanzo about how exactly close with Goku, he had gone at one point. It felt like it had been put in the past also, and he didn't want to bring it back up. What's done is done, he did what he did, and he did it not knowing if he'd ever see Goku again. Most people would frown upon what happened; he knew, but what was done was out of friendship and nothing more.

It was getting late and Hakkai had to admit he was a little worried when it started to roll around eight o'clock. Hakkai had brought out his old play station and Nataku and Goku were playing on it while he made dinner. Steak sounded nice, and he picked up a few pieces along with some other meat in his freezer to sizzle. He could hear the excited shouts of both boys in the living room as they battled competitively. It felt nice to have someone here in the apartment with him. He had things to do, and he didn't have to think too much. He was closing the oven door when suddenly Goku was behind him at the island, Nataku nowhere in sight, possibly in the bathroom.

"Kai?" Goku asked sheepishly. Hakkai turned to face him, taking off his oven gloves.

"Yes Goku?" He answered. The younger brunette bit his lip and looked to the side.

"I'm not going to lie okay. I'm kind of pissed that you're seeing Gojyo and Sanzo," He sniffed straight away, his voice slightly angry. Hakkai was a little surprised, but he guessed he should have been expecting this.

"Believe me Goku, it was an unplanned adventure, but as I spent more time with them; I began to like them around. What we're you expecting?" He asked the boy. Goku crossed his arms and gave him a stare. His normally warm hazel eyes were slightly darker.

"I don't know, that you'd always just been here, alone? It's not fair of me to do that, to say that . . . But that's just what I'm used to ya know? It makes me nervous to tell you the truth. They seem odd and act funny around me," Goku said, tilting his head. Hakkai had a feeling that Goku was trying to pry for information, to better the boy so that he wasn't willing to give him what he wanted.

"Goku, what is happening between the detectives and me, I'm not sure what it is myself. I wouldn't quite call it a fling, but I definitely feel like something deeper is growing. I'm sorry if some things change, but that's just how it is sometimes," Hakkai explained, being gentle in his tone. The boy didn't seem convinced as he sighed and slipped onto one of the island stools.

"I don't like change, I'll say that right away. They seem nice it's just . . . I don't know how to say it. Man, to tell you the truth, I was hoping me and Nataku would get to you first," He said absentmindedly. That made Hakkai pause in his actions as he started to set the table. He had picked the silverware halfway across the counter before he gently let his hand set them back down.

"Meaning what exactly?" He didn't mean to sound accusing. Goku looked sheepish as he gave a small shrug of his shoulders and a wide smile.

"That I and Nataku would do exactly what those two detectives are doing to you right now," He said. Hakkai's mouth dropped open, and his eyes must've bulged because Goku suddenly leapt up from the stool and held up his hands with a small bit of fright in his eyes.

"What! I'm just saying . . . I mean . . . I know I thought it would work out, but when I got to think about it . . . And then Nataku came along . . . I got conflicted okay? I mean, I love Nataku indefinitely. It may be too early to say it, but you know how I think sometimes!" He said, trying to explain. Hakkai stomach must've dropped somewhere onto the floor because it sure felt like it. He took a shaky breath and turned away from the boy, choosing instead to address the counter he was currently leaning on for both physical and mental support.

"Goku, what in your right mind would make you think that's a good idea?" He asked the boy, still not looking at him. He heard Goku shuffling somewhere behind him, but he didn't turn to look. A warm hand suddenly touched the middle of his back, and Hakkai couldn't help but turn around and finally look at the boy.

"Because all I could think about when I first got to college, was how much I wanted to be back here with you. I know you're avoiding talking about it, I kind of was too . . . Those nights we spent together before I left. I know they were meant to just be good-bye flings, but I don't know, am I making sense?" He asked in a soft voice. Hakkai ran a hand through his bangs and looked the boy over. Goku for all the world looked confused and conflicted, and Hakkai had been the one to put them in this situation. Somewhere in the deep of his mind he shouldn't have slept with the boy, but at the time he was desperate and confused. He himself at the time had been yearning for something to help him discover himself. He didn't need to drag Goku down in his own self-revelations. In a way, he blamed himself completely and prayed to God, he didn't ruin the boy because of his mistake.

"Goku, there's a difference between love and lust. What we did was just lust, but what you need to do is love. You'll discover that they are two completely different feelings."

"I know the difference Hakkai. I mean for God sakes, I love Nataku! I don't know, I guess I almost had this fantasy that it would just be you, me and Nataku. But then those other two guys . . . I didn't expect them!" He confessed somewhat hysterically. Goku had crossed his arms again and looked at the floor. Hakkai took a deep breath through his nose and gently set his hand on top of Goku's brown locks, almost petting him like he did whenever Goku pouted as a young child.

"Like I said, things change. However, that doesn't mean they have to be bad changes. You and Nataku are welcome here anytime you wish. Goku, you're practically my son; I will unfailingly be nearby for you no matter what. I think that's what you need to hear, just because I'm involved with two other people doesn't mean I won't always be here for you," He explained. Goku's posture relaxed somewhat, but he still seemed a little tense.

"I guess it just went differently in my head is all . . . I know you love me, and I love you, in that . . . Fatherly kind of way," He shrugged. Hakkai set his hand on Goku's shoulder instead and softly leaned forward. Goku blushed despite himself as Hakkai gently set his lips in the middle of the youth's head in a gesture of affection. He pulled back from the small pack and smiled warmly at the boy.

"I do love you. You're a good person Goku, never think that you'll be alone, because we're all here, and we're not going anywhere and neither am I."

* * *

When the time came to say good-bye, Hakkai had to remind himself that he would be seeing the boys again. He would get them on holidays and vacations and hopefully any breaks that happened in college. He made sure they had all their gear packed and ready, and packed lunches for the long train ride back. Surprisingly, Gojyo and Sanzo came with him to see the boys off. Gojyo and Goku did nothing but argue terribly, but now they seemed to be on much more friendlier terms. Possibly, arguing was just their way of getting to know each other. Nataku opened up and built a small friendship with Sanzo of all people. It seemed the blond could only stand Nataku out of both the boys. Hakkai hugged both tight and gave a small peck to the sides of each of their heads before pulling away completely.

"You're not getting any kisses from me dammit," Gojyo said from behind Hakkai. Nataku gave a small giggle behind his sleeve while Goku only glared at the red head and stuck his tongue out at him.

"Why would I want to catch stupid, asshole?" He told the man. Gojyo gave an enormous smirk, meant to be sarcastic in every way.

"Too late, I think you're fully infected," He said. Goku would've argued more Hakkai hadn't set a hand on his head. Not being able to fight his paternal side, he shifted Goku's collar up a bit more to protect his neck from the cold. He did the same with Nataku and gently brushed down his bangs that were now getting slightly wet from the mist that was drizzling down.

"All right, let's all give a proper good-bye, shall we? Be sure to call me when you get back and stay dry. No heavy drinking and if they have to party for God sakes, make sure you don't get so stupidly drunk you do something you regret," Hakkai laughed. Goku gave a smile and so did Nataku at that.

"Thanks for having me, it was really nice meeting everybody," Nataku said happily. Hakkai nodded and turned to Gojyo and Sanzo.

"The trains about to leave, let's walk them to the platform."

Both men fell behind Hakkai as the train pulled up with a loud whistle. Making sure they had everything, Hakkai suddenly felt scared about letting them go. He fought it down though, he would see them again he knew it. Goku was very precious to him, one of the few he would call true family.

Goku suddenly turned to both the detectives and gave them a look. Both men were slightly surprised by the intensity of it as they looked at each other. Hakkai was doing last-minute adjustments to Nataku's bags, and he managed to catch them both in a whisper.

"You fuck tarts better take good care of Hakkai. I hear anything, and I'll kick both your asses, got it?" He said almost darkly. Sanzo showed no emotion and only gave his usual glare. Gojyo was the first to recover as he gave a slope chuckle underneath his breath.

"Don't worry kid, we promise; Hakkai is in the best hands possible. If we fuck up, you'll be the first to know," Gojyo whispered back with a smirk. Goku didn't seem any more relieved as he watched the train pull-up.

"He means a lot to me, more than you'll ever know."

Both frowned at that sentence, but before they could ask Goku had turned away from them. He hugged Hakkai one last time and gave him a smile as he held Nataku's hand on the train. Hakkai watched them sit down at the window seat, and they waved frantically at him. Hakkai gave a small wave back as the train whistled loudly. All three men on the platform watched as their faces disappeared around the next bend and back to college for the semester.

"I'm going to miss them," Hakkai whispered not intended for anyone to hear. He felt an arm sling around his shoulders as Gojyo's face came into view. Sanzo appeared at his other side and took his wrist, leading him back under the roof of the platform.

"They're definitely an interesting pair, especially that Goku," Sanzo muttered. Hakkai nodded and reached up to hold Gojyo's hand that was on the shoulder.

"There are days I regret not adopting him. I wanted to give him a better home. I know what it's like not to grow up with anybody. No parental love, no reassurance . . . I have always seen him as my own," He said watching the train grow farther away.

"Kid doesn't realize how good he's got it. You'd bend over backwards for him," Gojyo said. Both the men lead Hakkai off the platform and back to the parking lot.

"Yes I'm afraid; I'm a bit hooked. Nevertheless, look at the bright side, you get the TV back," Hakkai laughed. Gojyo gave a puff of breath as he looked at Sanzo. The blond worked an eyebrow at him as Gojyo's own eyebrows seemed to dance on his fore head.

"Which means we get the apartment all to ourselves again, and I think when we get there, we should pick up where we left off two days ago," He mentioned. Hakkai took in a surprised breath and swallowed. Gojyo's hand was suddenly very close to his backside. He looked back helplessly at Sanzo, and the man only seemed to share Gojyo's sentiment.

"Um, wait a minute, I still have to clean up the apartment from the boys!" Hakkai protested.

"No way dude, sex first, then you can clean," Gojyo smirked. Sanzo wasn't helping the situation as he unlocked the door and opened the back seat for the brunette. Hakkai rolled his eyes at the way they shoved him in the car and slammed their own doors eagerly. The blond didn't even have to say anything to be in complete agreement with his partner. Hakkai only buckled his seat belt and leaned back in his seat as Gojyo pulled out of the station. He briefly wondered if this was what parents did the first moment their kids would leave and head back to college. He momentarily drifted off into thought as Gojyo eagerly explained what they were going to do, as soon as they crossed the threshold. Hakkai was only half listening as he gazed out the window and thought of the two boys and what they were doing now on the train.

_No . . . My boys._

Hakkai smiled at the thought as the red head sped them all back to his apartment.

* * *

**TBC**


	23. Back to the grind of things

**Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki or the characters.**

**Chapter 23: Back to the grind of things**

* * *

Kougaiji sat at his new desk, deep into the stormy night at least a county away. Staring at his computer, he felt a major migraine about to occur. He ran a frustrated hand through his long hair and chewed his bottom lip in annoyance. He sighed and sat back from his computer, choosing instead to stare out of his window at the passing storm. Moving some hair behind his ear, he scooted closer to the desk and slipped open a file near his right. His eyes briefly flicked to the photos sitting near his pen, and he stared at them silently. His younger sister, Lirin smiled back as he sat next to him on a bench in their old neighborhood. The picture right next to it made him smile slightly. Hakkai and his sister Kanan smiled as they waved to the camera, smiled wider and happy. Kougaiji felt a pull at his heart as he stared at his childhood friends. It was a sudden knock at the door and pulled himself away from his pictures.

"Come in," he said.

The door opened slightly, and a woman came through. Kougaiji pushed his chair bit away from his desk as a secretary came striding toward him.

"I have that file you needed. The chief sent it down herself just this morning," she said. Kougaiji nodded his head and reached for the file. She handed to him with a small smile.

"Let me know if you need anything else," she mentioned. Kougaiji watched her leave the room, closing the door softly behind her. He pulled himself back to his desk and set the file down. Taking a breath, he opened it and picked up the first folder.

Previous and up-to-date victims list.

His eyes narrowed as he opened the folder open and standard contents. There had to be at least thirty names in this list, either victims or possible victims. One side of the list was the current deceased. The other sides of the list were victims. Not knowing why, Kougaiji's eyes scanned for a certain name on the list. His heart sped up as he saw Cho Hakkai Gonou on the victim's side. Closing the folder, he reached up between his eyes and massage the skin on his forehead. Why had he come to this? Why was he being targeted now? A knock at his door suddenly woke him from his stupor.

"It's open," he said sitting up. The door opened, and a man smiled at him. Kougaiji instantly recognized the fellow detective who worked here at the station. They were assigned the same unit regarding the rainy-day killer case.

"Hey, did you happen to look through the file yet?" He asked grabbing a chair in front of the desk in sitting down. Kougaiji shook his head as he opened the file once more and scanned a different section.

"I just recently got it, literally a few minutes ago," he answered. The detective nodded and happened to glance at the pictures on his desk. He didn't say anything but he suddenly perked up.

"Did you hear that the chief wants everybody to come back to the station at the East side? You came from there didn't you, before the promotion?" He asked. Kougaiji's heart actually sped up at the thought of being able to return there. He missed talking to his green-eyed friend and often wondered what the man was doing.

"Good, there were some things I wanted to check up on anyway. Did she say why?" He asked.

"The other day someone was questioned and some names came up. They think they might have a new possible suspect, but I highly doubt it's credible. Since Chin Yisou did, everything is pretty much quieted down. The number of victims has gone down too. It really makes it look like Chin was the actual killer," he said.

Kougaiji sighed as he flipped the folder closed.

"I just want to get out of this draft weather, this whole place, no offense, its bringing me down," He commented with a small smile. The other detective laughed as he shook his head.

"Yeah, bet that things were more exciting back at the other place. He had a lot more going on, moreover, flow I guess. That partner of yours, I remember every time I visited he would entertain me with all these funny puzzles. He was good at that shit, always stumped me."

Kos face abruptly changed into a deep frown as he looked away. The other detective immediately felt guilty about bringing it up.

"Oh, sorry man, I forgot. He was a good man, and he had a decent heart. Whatever happened to him? He didn't really say in the police report," He couldn't help but ask. Kougaiji was still silent as he carefully took the folder and placed it on another place on his desk. He looked at his pictures somberly as he heard the rain clash outside.

"He committed suicide," Was all he said.

* * *

Hakkai stood in his bathroom, fussing with his bangs. It had been too long since he had been to work, and now he felt he was ready. He was still nervous about leaving the apartment, still not knowing what to expect as soon as he got back. Even so, he missed work, believe it or not; he missed being in his basement locked away from the rest of the world for hours at a time. He knew he'd feel safe down there, and he should feel fortunate that there was a cage door between him and the exit.

He looked at himself in the mirror and noticed how his skin had actually looked a lot better. The deep circles around his eyes vanished from nights of sleep. He hadn't had as many dreams as he usually did, at least nothing to shake a stick at. Gojyo and Sanzo had been at his apartment the whole time, and he felt guilty about keeping them. They had grown closer in those last few weeks, even when Goku had made his surprise visit. Maybe now that they had a look into his life a bit, they probably understood it better. And in turn Hakkai learned a lot about them. Minuscule things really, liked Sanzo like mayonnaise in his noodles, or that he was allergic to nutmeg. Tiny snippets of conversation had them learning that Gojyo grew up without a father. His brother and he were half-brothers, and that they had been taken away from their mother at a young age because she was a major alcoholic.

He didn't delve too much in the past, all of them still being reluctant to share. They felt comfortable in the knowledge that they could and eventually would. Hakkai guessed that they actually had established a relationship with one another. They really couldn't be called fuck buddies anymore, they had shared too much. The conversation hadn't exactly come up yet, but every time he looked at them they couldn't help but feel warm. He felt an inner oneness coat him and make him feel safe. He wondered if they felt the equivalent, he was sure he gave them the same warm look every time they make eye contact with each other.

He fixed his vest and rearranged his cufflinks. It had been a while since he had dressed for work, and he wanted to make a good fresh impression back. He ironed his pants and his work shirt, clipping buttons and wearing a belt. Turning in the mirror he smiled in satisfaction at how much he had actually been fattening up. He has eaten a lot lately, more than he usually would. Since Gojyo and Sanzo had been around, he had been doing a lot of baking. He never usually baked for himself, he could not eat it all. But since it was raining and both men were in his house, he just felt this need to keep them fed. He made cookies, loaves of banana bread, some angel cake and surprisingly, Sanzo himself had almost eaten a whole tray of raspberry tarts he had made He laughed to himself when he thought of the utter delight Sanzo sort of had on his face after everyone will. It was so unlike the man, Hakkai guessed he only felt comfortable to show his true side around them and no one else.

Running his hand through his bangs, one last time he made to exit the bathroom. He heard footsteps coming up behind him, and he turned to see Gojyo making his way toward the bathroom. He looked a little nervous and Hakkai understood why. Though the topic had not come up, they were still technically working with a case. They were at the same time trying to find the man that broke into Hakkai's apartment and raped him. The brunette couldn't say that he was fully healed, but he was better off than he was. No doubt if the detectives had never come back, he would still be that mess that the rapist had left behind.

Hakkai was still facing the mirror, but his head was turned toward the red head. Gojyo came up behind him, sporting his trench and wrapped his arms around the back of Hakkai. The brunette had grown used to the touching now, since they had been together so much it was only natural currently. Sanzo touched him more now too and in turn; Hakkai wasn't afraid once in a while to touch back. Sometimes he would straighten blond bangs or his collar. For Gojyo, he was constantly cleaning ashtrays and tying back his hair. Once in a while if he was standing over the stove, one of them would come up behind him and wrap their arms around his waist, watching him do something. Sanzo mostly did it when they were sleeping, sneaking his arms about his waist while Gojyo wrapped his arms around both their shoulders. The blond had also gotten used to watching television by putting his head on Hakkai's lap while Gojyo sat on the floor, legs outstretched. It was amazing how in a short amount of time they had grown so comfortable. They even started leaving bits of clothing here and there in his room. Hakkai made room in his closet and had given them hangers for things. More shoes were by the door and if each man didn't have their own apartment, he'd swear that they were all living together.

Hakkai was facing the mirror as Gojyo set his chin on his shoulder. He looked at Hakkai up and down and gave a small smirk.

"Nice, were you wearing that the first time we met?" He asked the brunette. Hakkai gave a small chuckle as he raised his hand and gently brushed back some of Gojyo's hair.

"I think I was wearing the vest, not the shirt. I still feel this need to dress up even though I'm hidden in the basement. You never know who could come by at any moment," He mentioned. Gojyo merely gave a shrug with his shoulders as his arms tightened around Hakkai's thin waist.

"Are you sure you're ready to go back?" He asked seriously. Hakkai could see the lines of worry in Gojyo's face, and he had seen it in Sanzo's also whenever the topic was brought up.

"I can't hide forever, and I can't let him think he's won. I need to go back. I need to keep going on with my life. It's what my sister would want, and it's what I want for myself," He said, turning his head slightly to look at Gojyo's red eyes. One of the hands around his waist reached forward to rest on his stomach. Lips made contact with the space behind his ear as green eyes closed.

"Were both nervous wrecks, if we had our way you'd never leave the apartment," Gojyo whispered.

"I know, but I can't hide like a hermit; I find it highly unappealing," Hakkai smiled. Gojyo chuckled as he easily leaned forward and kissed Hakkai on the lips this time. He released the brunette, and both exited the bathroom toward the living room. Sanzo was still sulking on the couch, not really wanting Hakkai to go back to work either. As the brunette passed them to get his coat, he couldn't help but pluck Sanzo on the end of his nose with his index finger. Hakkai used to do to Goku whenever the boy was sitting and pouting somewhere. Sanzo went cross eyed for a moment before he blinked rapidly and made a snuffing sound.

"Let's get going, the chief wanted us in her office by eight," He mentioned. Each man slipped on their shoes and coats, locking the apartment as they left. It was all routine to Hakkai, and he felt himself falling back into it. They took Sanzo's car and drove through traffic, weaving in and out of lanes easily. It was still early so few people were out and about yet. Hakkai actually felt the first tendrils of nervousness spread through his chest. It was the combination of returning and hoping that the person who had replaced him had done what he asked. He hadn't been back since the office had been broken into, and he wondered what it looked like now. He was told his computer was replaced, a new lock on the security door and the cage at the back had fresh bars. He would be getting the keys from the chief herself when he went back to report.

They pulled into the station, and Hakkai was greeted with the familiar surroundings. It had been that long, but he still felt like he was in an unfamiliar place. He exited the car and waited for Gojyo and Sanzo to lock their doors. They walked side-by-side into the building as Hakkai looked around, Chicago and to remember faces of people he knew. They were greeted by the usual security guard that smiled upon seeing Hakkai's return. The woman at the front desk winked flirtatiously at Gojyo and in turn the redhead couldn't help but smirk and wave. Sanzo remained his stony self. People greeted him, but he gave no indication back.

They ran into Jien in the hallway, and the man smiled broadly at them all. Hakkai was a bit surprised though as the sizeable man suddenly came up to him and enveloped him in a great hug. To say the least, Hakkai had not been expecting that. He was expected something totally different. The last time the man saw him, he was at his worst, sitting on a doctor's bed just after his rape. He was sure that they all knew, but he was glad they were pretending not to. The hug was warm and Hakkai carefully returned it with a small pat on the other man's back. When Jien pulled backward he was smiling and holding Hakkai's shoulders.

"Hakkai, it's good to see you back man, that other file clerk was a total mess! You know he delivered two different documents to the wrong stations? I swear to God, I heard him crying over the phone! This place will be a lot more organized now that you're back," He smiled. Hakkai rolled his eyes and briefly wondered how much work he had stepped back into.

"It's good to see you, how is Yaone?" He asked.

They shared idle conversation for a while until the clock almost struck eight. Jien said his good-byes and gave a small punch to Gojyo's shoulder as he left. He waved at Hakkai one last time before walking down the hallway and disappearing into another office. As he approached the chief's office, her secretary stopped them halfway. Jiroushin spied them in the hall and hurriedly approached them.

"Hakkai, good to see you back, the basement has been a mess without you. That reminds me, here are the keys to the new locks. Chief Bosatsu wanted you to get started right away," He said. Jiroushin handed a pair of brand-new keys to Hakkai. The brunette picked up the ring and examined each key; all of them labeled. He pocketed them and turned to give the detectives a smile.

"I guess then this is where I say good-bye for the day," He told them. Sanzo only gave a small nod while Gojyo gave him a reluctant smile.

"I'll be calling around lunch, leave it open. We're going to that place at the corner near the bakery," the redhead replied. Hakkai nodded as he turned to Sanzo. The blond wasn't showing it, but Hakkai could read his body language. He was tense, that was for sure.

"It sounds good; I'll call you and let you know when my break is. Be safe out there, please," Hakkai said softly. Jiroushin had vanished after giving Hakkai his keys. Now that the man was gone, Hakkai let out a sigh and reached forward to grab Sanzo's wrist.

"It'll be all right, just concentrate on your job and I'll see you at lunch," He promised. Sanzo face never changed but Hakkai was relieved when his hand was gently squeezed back.

"See you at lunch," The blond replied in an almost straggled voice. Gojyo gave him a smile as he walked down the hallway at Sanzo's side. Hakkai stood there for a moment, simply watching them go. Reluctantly, he took up the keys from his pocket and headed back toward the familiar basement door. He opened the door quietly and took a deep breath. Making his way to the stairs, he was happy to see that the light fixture above his desk had been fixed.

Both were fixed along with a brand-new computer sitting on the desk. He opened the gate and went through, shutting it tightly behind him with a click. It still looked the same. The bathroom door was open; the filing cabinets were upright again, a brand-new security door that housed evidence in the back, and overall the place finally looked clean. He was even surprised if not a bit happy to see a new coffee maker sitting by the filing cabinet on a table. Hakkai thought it would have almost been funny if a fruit basket were set on his desk when he arrived.

Setting his briefcase on the desk, Hakkai took in the familiar smell about the evidence room. Stale paper mixed with dust coated his nostrils and the familiarity of it all to him was comforting. He hadn't been in his office since it had been broken into. Sighing finally in contempt, Hakkai sat down in his chair and started his new computer.

* * *

He had been working for hours, and it was almost around twelve thirty as Hakkai sat behind his desk. After going so long without writing, he had felt his hand slowly start to cramp up. He typed a little on his computer as he filed paper after paper. His work environment was familiar to him again, and he had no problem doing his task. Looking at the clock and realized it was starting to near his break, he looked at his phone that he had stashed away in one of his side drawers. Before he could pick up his cell phone, someone was knocking at his security door. Hakkai looked up from reaching his phone, and an immediate smile came over his face.

"Kougaiji!" He said happily getting up from his chair. Without hesitating Hakkai pressed the security button, and Kougaiji came through the door. Hakkai came from around his desk and open his arms. Kougaiji in turn smiled widely as he quickly approached his childhood friend. They met in hug, arms tight and warm. Hakkai felt overwhelming warmth coated his insides and happiness at seeing his red-haired friend again. He felt like everything is truly right now, Kougaiji was back for at least a short amount of time.

"This is unexpected, when did you get back?" He asked the other. Kougaiji pulled back from the hug but didn't release Hakkai's arms. The red head felt his chest tighten at being able to see Hakkai again.

"They just told me yesterday. I took the first train they had this morning. I wanted to keep it a surprise," He told his green-eyed friend. Hakkai gave a small laugh and shook his head.

"You were always good at those, still; I wish you had told me," He said partly scolding. He was aware of the hands grasping his upper arms squeezing slightly. Kougaiji was dressed in his best trench coat, tan in color and matching his skin tone. The promotion had done him good. He looked great with his brand-new suit, shoes and held a healthy glow about him. Hakkai was relieved and proud of his friend; he had earned this position. He knew it for sure.

Before he could open his mouth to say more, Kougaiji had moved slightly nearer to him. Hakkai's mind went blank as suddenly the hands on his upper arms tightened and pulled him closer. His gasp was muffled as Kougaiji pulled him in and kissed him softly on the lips. The kiss came out of nowhere, and Hakkai's eyes widened, his body not moving. He was suddenly swept in a memory of the last time they had slept together. The taste was the same; cinnamon combined with something spicy and rich. Kougaiji's eyes closed and his head tilted in order to make the kiss deeper. As much as Hakkai loved his friend, he needed to end this kiss quickly. He tried backing up but Kougaiji only followed him, pressing him into the wall. His friend continued to kiss him, letting his hands wander down to catch Hakkai's elbows instead. Quickly moving his head, Hakkai avoided Kougaiji as he tried to come in for another kiss.

"Kougaiji, what are you doing?" Hakkai asked in a shaky voice. He knew his cheeks were a flame. The kiss was unexpected, especially from someone like Kou. The redhead had an intense burning in his eyes, full of desire with a mixture of longing.

"I missed you. I've been thinking about you, about us," He said in a husky voice. Hakkai swore he could feel his blush travel down his throat and settle somewhere in his stomach. How could he explain to his friend about everything that happened in his absence? How was he going to tell Kougaiji about Sanzo and Gojyo? About what he had with them?

A million unanswered questions floated to the brunette's mind the longer Kougaiji stared at him. Before the red head could move in on him again, Hakkai swiftly put his hands up and pressed against his friend's chest, a slightly nervous look on his face.

"Kougaiji, wait for a moment, you don't understand," Hakkai tried, starting to push his friend backwards. Kougaiji didn't seem to be listening to him.

A sudden slamming of a door made both jump and spin their heads toward the security gate. Hakkai suddenly swallowed a mouthful of fear. Sanzo was standing at the slightly open gate, looking extremely menacing. His glare was so intense that Hakkai was sure the wall tile would crack if the blond looked directly at it. Looking back and forth between them, Hakkai tried to think of what to do next. Sanzo stepped away from the security gate until he was almost standing in front of Kougaiji.

"Hands. Off. Now." Sanzo hissed, walking forward. Kougaiji wasn't intimidated as he stared the blond down with his own line of defense. Sanzo looked on the warpath, his violet eyes burning in his skull.

Hakkai watched in horror as Sanzo's fists clenched at his side, and Kougaiji let out a growl of his own. Before they could get close to each other, Hakkai intervened. He put himself between the two men, just as they reached each other, setting a hand on each of their chests. They stopped only reluctantly but not when it came to openly glaring

"Got a problem sunshine?" Kougaiji asked menacingly. Sanzo in turn curled his upper lip as he tried to move past Hakkai for the red head.

"You should learn to keep your hands off of things that aren't yours shit bag," Sanzo hissed. Kougaiji blinked in realization, and he stared at Hakkai.

"What the fuck is he talking about?" He asked his brown-haired friend. Hakkai suddenly looked meek but he turned to Sanzo regardless. He set his hands on the sides of Sanzo's face in order to get the man to look at him.

"Sanzo, I need to talk to Kougaiji. Let me take him to lunch today. We have a lot to talk about," He tried to reason. Sanzo's eyes briefly flicked to his own apologetic ones but went back to Kougaiji with a glare.

"As long as he keeps his hands to himself, I shouldn't need to beat the shit out of him," he growled. Hakkai's fingers carefully smoothed back some of Sanzo's hair, and it made the blond relent just moderately. He reached up and grabbed Hakkai's wrists, squeezing them slightly to let him know he wasn't mad at him. Reluctantly, Sanzo turned back around and stuffed his hands into his trench, heading for the door. The door upstairs slammed shut and Hakkai was left alone with Kougaiji. The brunette turned back to his shocked friend gave a small smile.

"I think we should head out."

* * *

It had been a tense cab ride as Hakkai took Kougaiji to their usual lunch spot. They sat at their tables on the patio in silence until Hakkai finally looked up into his friend's pained eyes. Hakkai had just built his guts about what he, and the two of the detectives shared. Kougaiji had been shocked to say the least, but the shock was quickly replaced with a small amount of anger.

"Both of them? You're involved with both? When I left, you barely knew them. I haven't been gone possibly a month at the least," His voice was hard and critical. Hakkai had swallowed his excess saliva but didn't relax in his own glare.

"A lot has happened since you left Kougaiji. I've done a lot of changing, for better or for worse," Hakkai said, fingering his napkin. His red-haired friend clenched his teeth as he looked to the side where other people were eating around them.

"Who started it?" He quietly asked the brunette. They paused in their conversation for a moment as the waiter came back with their meal. Once they were settled Hakkai picked up his spoon in order to eat his chowder.

"Gojyo did, but it wasn't exactly planned. To tell you the truth, some days I think everything was just an accident. Even so, it worked out and to be honest. I'm very happy," He said, taking a spoonful into his mouth. Kougaiji looked surprised and suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore. He looked down at his club sandwich and immediately felt like his stomach had bottomed out.

"They make you happy?" He asked curiously. Hakkai nodded and encouraged his friend to take a bite of his meal. Kougaiji did albeit reluctantly. Hakkai waited for him to finish chewing before he spoke again.

"They do, I can't explain it, but they do. I've done things now I didn't think I'd ever do again since Kanan died," He said lightly. Kougaiji looked down at the table and sighed. Hakkai must've been happy. He didn't keep that sad tone in his voice he usually did when he talked about his sister.

"Do you love them?" Kougaiji couldn't help but ask. It was painful asking the question, but he had to know how Hakkai felt about them. The brunette was about to take a sip of his coffee when he stopped midway. He thought for a moment before he finally brought the cup back up to his lips.

"I think I do," He answered truthfully. Both sat in silence for a moment until something suddenly occurred to Hakkai. He looked toward Kougaiji, who wasn't looking back and chewed at his sandwich. The brunette didn't know what to say or do. What did Kougaiji expect? He didn't exactly make a commitment before he left. He didn't ask Hakkai to wait for him. He briefly wondered if he was going to go through the same thing he did with Goku. He should really learn how to pick his battles before he chose to fight. He shouldn't have felt guilty, but he did.

Reaching out, Hakkai gently set his hand on top of Kougaiji's, the one resting beside his drink. The hand was immediately caught and squeezed, and a feeling of warmth returned to the brunette's insides.

"I'm sorry if I seem selfish, it's just unexpected is all. Those two seemed like people I'd never thought you would get involved with," Kou said, not looking at him. Hakkai nodded and gently ran his thumb along Kou's fingers.

"Believe me, I was surprised too. Things have a funny way of working out. They're good to me though, I wouldn't continue this if they weren't," He said softly. Kou looked up at him then and intertwined their fingers.

"Just promise me you'll stay safe. You're still a target for the Rainy Day killer after all. I don't know what I'd do . . . I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you while I wasn't here," He said in all seriousness. Kou's eyes were intense as he stared the brunette down. Hakkai prayed the bead of sweat going down his neck was hidden. He still didn't know if he should tell Kou about what happened, that the killer knew where he lived and had followed him home. He took a deep breath and coughed to clear his throat.

"I know. I promise everything will be okay," He swore to his friend.

They talked lightly, eating their lunch as they did. Hakkai still held onto Kougaiji's hand as they did, wanting that connection with his friend. Kou talked about what he had been up to and what they had been doing at the other station. In the middle of talking, Hakkai suddenly remembered his dream.

"Not to change topics, but I had a dream about you the other night," The brunette said. Kou looked up from his meal with a small quirk of his brow.

"You dream about me? Was it sexy?" He asked, giving a small smile. Hakkai chuckled as he used his index finger to trace the edge of his soup bowl.

"It's like all the ones I've had but different. It wasn't scary, and it was exciting actually. I was running, and you were in front of me. We were chasing a man, and we had cornered him in a back alley . . . There was this dramatic fight scene like in a movie, and we arrested him. Silly isn't it? I a field detective?" He said with a smile. Kou had gone quiet and Hakkai blinked from his day dream.

He looked up and frowned. Kougaiji was staring at him with what could only be described as fear. His eyes were wide open, and he had dropped the sandwich he had been pecking at.

"Kougaiji? Are you all right?" Hakkai worried. The other snapped from his trance and regarded Hakkai carefully.

"How . . . Often do you have these dreams?" Kou asked him in a quiet voice. The brunette thought back throughout the week and shook his head.

"Not often, in fact, this was the first one," Hakkai said. The brunette was suddenly aware that the grip on his hand had grown painful. Kou released it after a moment and wiped his lips with his napkin.

"Let me know if you keep having them. I want you to go back to your therapist," He said sternly. Hakkai was surprised by the sudden turn in his friend's voice. It sounded hard and a little demanding.

"Kougaiji?" He asked carefully. The red head stood up from his chair and regarded Hakkai seriously.

"Promise me you'll go back if the dreams continue?" He asked again sternly. Hakkai sat there, mouth slightly agape as his head struggled to keep from spinning. Carefully, he nodded his head if not just to sate Kougaiji.

"Okay, fine. I'll go back if they . . . Continue again," He said in confusion. Kou's gaze didn't relent, but it did grow just a tiny bit softer. He nodded and stood from the table, taking out his wallet.

"Good, sorry for the scare, but I just don't like it when you have those dreams," He said, slapping a twenty-dollar bill on the table. Hakkai nodded meekly and took out some singles to leave as a tip.

"Kougaiji, dreams are normal. Just because I have them doesn't make them a danger to me," He said, standing also. Kougaiji said nothing as they swiftly left the café. He took Hakkai's arm and waved down a taxi for them.

"I know, I just . . . Just trust me on this one okay?" He almost begged. Hakkai wasn't convinced, but he let Kougaiji open the car door for him.

"If I must, I've never had a reason to doubt you before," He said with a small smile. Kou smiled back slightly and gestured him into the cab.

"And believe me, you never will Hakkai," He said softly to himself.

* * *

After returning to the precinct, Hakkai still felt strange about his friend's behavior. He turned to Kou when they were nearing the basement and simply stared at his friend. The red head seemed lost in thought if not a bit miffed. Hakkai wasn't sure if the behavior was from their talk or the fact that he was no longer available for his friend to pursue in a relationship. He stepped forward anyway and carefully moved some hair away from his long-time friend's eyes.

"Are you going to be okay?" He asked carefully. Kou snapped from his day dream and nodded at Hakkai.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I've just had a bunch of things on my mind," He said with a shake of his head.

"Don't let it stress you out, the last thing I need is to go to the hospital to see you," Hakkai reminded. Kou gave a smirk as he carefully moved forward. As much as he wanted to kiss Hakkai on the mouth, he couldn't risk another incident like with Sanzo. Instead, he aimed his lips to the side of Hakkai's head, near his eye just beside the hairline. The brunette closed his eyes and accepted the kiss, knowing it would be the only ones that he would allow from his friend. Pulling back, Kou let his lips hover above the skin.

"I'm here the whole week, let's meet up before I have to go back," He whispered. Hakkai nodded and gently pulled backward. Kougaiji's hair had smelled as it always had. Like his kiss, it was rich and heavenly. The smell made Hakkai reminisce, and he realized how much he had truly missed his friend. He loved Gojyo and Sanzo; he did, but Kougaiji brought out another type of love inside of him. This was the love of the deep friendship that had always been there. The spot where Kougaiji had kissed was tingling, and he couldn't help but bring up a hand and touch that part of his skin.

"Don't be afraid to visit when the detectives are around. They're very nice once they're used to you," He offered in hope. Kou frowned and shook his head, a slight frown bearing his features.

"No offense Hakkai, I don't want to be anywhere near them. It would be too painful, too soon for me," He admitted. Hakkai frowned upon himself and closed his eyes in disappointment.

"Very well, maybe sometime in the future then," He offered. Kou nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"See you soon," He said. Hakkai smiled for real this time and turned toward the basement door.

"Soon," He promised. Kou watched him walk down the hallway with a heavy heart. His gaze suddenly hardened as he turned on the spot and made his own way through the precinct. Before he could make another corner to the chief's office, someone had stepped into his path. He was both surprised and slightly angry to see Homura Taishi blocking his way. It had been such a long time since he had seen the other man. He almost forgot that the detective even existed if not for his name on certain reports. Homura gave him a half smirk, more of a sarcastic grin really.

"Well, it's been a while. Tell me, did you return to see how correctly this place is going on without you?" Homura asked crossing his arms. Kougaiji observed the other man, cocky as he always was. He seemed larger, like he had been working out fiercely. He wore a fine brown leather jacket covering his tight black shirt. You were not supposed to wear blue jeans in the office, but it seems Homura liked to bend the rules as much as he liked being nice to people.

"I see you're as counterproductive as ever, tell me, is your department even succeeded in this case? I've seen vending machines give more effort," Kougaiji sniped back. Oh how he hated this man. He felt he was the most useless person here. He had been on the case ever since it started, but he produced next to no success in either his own ventures or his department. He was surprised actually that this man still was on the force; his track record was a mile-long and then some.

"Tell me then, have you gotten any further with your little brunette? I couldn't help but see that both of you had walked in together. I'm sure he must've found a new plaything since you left?" He asked. Kougaiji held himself tall as he regarded Homura with a disdainful glare.

"Why don't you just go back to doing something useful. I don't expect you to, but I hope you'd at least try, now piss off Taishi," He said. Kougaiji didn't stick around to hear anymore of that idiots track. He moved past the blue-haired man and toward the chief's office. He walked right past her secretary, not even bothering stopping to address the man. He opened the office door to her sitting at her desk, looking up something on her computer. She briefly glanced up at him as he entered, and she could already see his mood written all over his face. She casually sat back in her seat, crossing her arms over her white blouse and tight skirt.

"Well, this is unexpected. What seems to be the trouble Kougaiji?" She asked smoothly as if she was hinting that she already knew. Kougaiji didn't hesitate to slam her office door closed, not caring about the people on the outside who had heard. He marched up to her desk and slammed his hands down on it, almost causing her vase of flowers to topple over.

"We need to talk. I can keep pretending anymore."

* * *

Jiroushin stared numbly as Kougaiji walked right past him into the office. He coughed once and hoped that the chief wouldn't catch his head later about letting the man in. He sighed and sat back down at his desk heavily. Before he could pick up his pen someone had stepped in front of his desk and gave a nervous sigh of breath.

"Um, excuse me? I'm looking for Bosatsu?" He asked. Jiroushin looked up from his paperwork and regarded the messenger. The man wore a simple police uniform, a folder under his arm.

"I'm sorry. Bosatsu seems to be in a meeting, can I help you?" He asked. The messenger gave a salute as he handed the folder to him.

"I have updated files for the chief. Should I drop them off here?" He asked. Jiroushin shook his head and pointed instead down the hallway.

"No, bring them to the filing room. It doubles as the evidence locker. A man named Hakkai will take and hold it until the chief is finished," He said. The messenger looked a bit confused but complied with the request.

"Very well, just make sure these get to her. They're highly important," The messenger said. The secretary nodded and merely waved him off.

"Yes, I understand. Hakkai is a very responsible man. He will make sure the files get to the chief," He responded. The messenger still looked a bit miffed, but he obeyed his orders.

"Very well, I will take these to the evidence room as instructed."

* * *

Hakkai was very surprised to see a messenger arrive in the evidence room. The man stood nervously in front of them, intimidating for reasons unbeknownst to him. Usually the Chiefs secretary would be the one to take important documents. It was strange for Jiroushin to get stuff for him to hold. The messenger quickly dropped off the file and seemed to be relieved to be rid of it.

"Sorry, that thing is heavy. It feels like there's more than just paper in there," He said relieved. Hakkai curiously turned the folder over and read the title. It said classified in bold letters across the top.

"What is this exactly, I don't remember getting a memo about its arrival?" He asked the man. The messenger shrugged, and Hakkai found it slightly unprofessional.

"It seems they're updated files of the classifieds that were brought out of this very station a few weeks before. It's a modified version, more up-to-date than about a few years previously. It said to go into the next investigation set a few days from now. Chief Bosatsu is counting on the evidence in that folder to finally nail a suspect," He replied. Hakkai's eyebrows frowned, and he was slightly disturbed that he was not led in that such important papers would be coming.

"Yes, thank you. I will make sure that they reach the chief. Please have a good day and stay dry," Hakkai replied politely. The messenger seemed relieved as he finally slumped his shoulders.

"Thank you. I've had a hard time dropping off this file. It's like nobody wants it," He said. Hakkai was still a bit confused, but he nodded his head. The messenger took his leave by closing the security door behind him. Hakkai's eyes quickly flipped back to the file, and he opened it with curious fingers. He went through the last one given to him, as instructed. If these were modified versions, he would need to compare it to the evidence he already had. Opening the vanilla folder, he was surprised at the large binder that came out of it. Setting the folder to the side, he opened the binder to the first page. He was surprised to immediately come across facts he wasn't aware of. Some of the dates looked unfamiliar to him, and the years attached to them. He had been working the case ever since it started, about four years ago. The case was going on its fifth year almost and more than fifty people have either been victimized or found dead. He narrowed his eyes when a few names had been whited out on the list, not meant for human eyes. Turning a page, his eyes scanned down the next section, his mouth suddenly coming open.

Reports of missing evidence had been made, some found in some lost in circulation. A few pieces had even gone missing after trials and never found. His heart sped up when a certain date caught his attention. It was the same day; Hakkai remembered, that he went undercover to the club and found Chin Yisou. His jaw trembled as he continued to read, discovering that the man had been murdered the same night Hakkai had been raped. He suddenly felt lost for breath and wanted to push backward from the file just to put it back. He didn't though, itching to continue, he turned another page and read on. The club had been invaded; every room searched again. Chin Yisou's body was found with a bullet through the skull. Sources were saying that the club was a enormous distraction, having nothing to do with the actual case. The report called it a giant waste of time but that the Mafia boss did have something to do with the real killer. Hakkai's eyes had never moved so fast in his skull. He blinked several times to try to focus back on the page, but he felt his mind suddenly drift. He was getting a terrible headache. It all seemed so familiar to him. He flipped through the large stack and the more he discovered the further he became physically ill. So much of this had been kept from him, nothing added up at all not even to his own evidence stacked in the back. He shook his head in disbelief as several names he didn't recognize popped up all over. He briefly wondered if he had drifted onto some strange document of ultimate secrecy. He worried that the names he was reading were of the agents hired specifically for this larger ranged serial killer. He wasn't sure if the government was involved, but for the number of victims it might've been.

He hadn't been told about anything, he was unfailingly in the loop, and it made sure that he always would be. He and Kougaiji had never withheld anything from each other. He didn't want to consider it, but he wondered if he should be severely doubting his friend, and all the material that he gave him. He closed his eyes for a brief moment to stem from his headache. It wasn't working.

He made it to the last page when a large list of names came forward. Hakkai immediately recognized the name to the detectives who were working the case since the beginning. Kougaiji, Gojyo, Sanzo, Jien, Yaone, Homura, Bosatsu and a few he didn't recognize. Some of the detectives had their partner's names right next to each other. He tilted his head when he saw a name blotched out beside Kougaiji's. He strained to see through the white blotch but could make no indication of who might be. He struggled in his mind to think of a time when Kougaiji had taken a partner. Kougaiji had always been a lone wolf of sorts, he never liked this have somebody tagging along in the field. This made the brunette confused and slightly worried. Was he being left out of something? Why hadn't he received this evidence before? It was chock-full of information regarding the case that could've helped them close it faster years ago. Why were they holding back?

Hakkai read enough and he hastily put the folder back together. He was confused and slightly scared, not knowing what to make of it. Nothing fit together compared to what he learned about the case. Everything seemed jumbled right back to his memory and leading into this file. He remembered everything, specifically; that's what prided him about his job, but this seemed also foreign to him. Shaking his head, he carefully put the binder back in the folder and sealed the top again. He stared at it for a moment, not sure if you should ask the chief herself or simply live in bliss. He bit his bottom lip as he struggled to control his breathing.

He wasn't certain what to make of it. He wasn't sure what to make of anything after reading the contents of this binder.

* * *

Gojyo stood in Jien's office, the one he shared with Yaone. The purple haired detective was out on a coffee errand, and Gojyo had decided to see his brother before ending his day. He hadn't seen the man in a while, and he thought it better now to pop by for a visit while he wasn't busy. He saw Kougaiji wander the hallway which was strange; he thought the man got a promotion and went somewhere else. A small part of him worried though that he would seek Hakkai, but he trusted the brunette enough to know that nothing serious would happen. He watched as his brother put away a folder and gestured for him to sit down in the spare chair. The room was stuffy, but it wasn't stinking of cigarette smoke. Jien quit smoking years ago, not wanting to risk his health anymore. Their conversation started as always did, Gojyo teasing his brother about finally asking Yaone out. It seemed this time Jien was prepared and gave his brother a smirk.

"I did actually. We went on our first date about a week ago. We both had a good time, but were not letting everyone in the workplace know just yet. We're taking it slow, unlike you," He mentioned with a raised eyebrow. Gojyo gave an innocent shrug as he leaned back in the chair, his long frame filling it out nicely. Jien wasn't an idiot at all, when Gojyo and Sanzo had been paired, he could already tell that both detectives had the certain spark between them. He wasn't certain what it was at first, until Gojyo exactly plainly told him. Jien wasn't sure what to make of their situation. They didn't really love each other. It was more like they were just getting off on each other. At first, he had been against it, but then he realized it wasn't truly affecting the work life. Gojyo had been a confused teen growing up, the mixture of being taken away from their mother, and his sexuality had seriously dealt a blow to his mentality. He knew his brother had tried sleeping with women, but it never worked. Even when it came to relationships, Gojyo had too much of a wandering eye to stay to one person. Sanzo had been good for him. He had been demanding, and he seemed to even get along better after they did have one of their meetings. So this had gone on and Jien had merely been the silent observer, making sure Gojyo didn't get in over his head.

"So you're not settling down as quick?" Gojyo asked staring at the ceiling. Jien rolled his eyes as he went over to turn on his computer.

"I could ask you the same thing, no offense to you both, but are you going to make this an official thing or just keep screwing each other?" He asked his brother. Gojyo had a strange look on his face as he seemed to still be contemplating to the ceiling. Jien had noticed the change, but he couldn't help but feel a sudden surprised burst inside his chest.

"Are you shitting me? Did you actually make it official? What the hell happened between you two?" He asked his little brother. Gojyo looked at him, and Jien was a little miffed at the seriousness in his gaze.

"Let's only say that both of us found something in common finally. We haven't seriously talked; I mean...We're aware it's there, we just haven't really gone over it with each other," He shrugged. Jien was confused by the statement.

"Wait, what did you have in common? That you both like to glare at people? Screw without commitment? I don't see Sanzo as a very loving person, especially not toward you, no offense," Jien said. Gojyo suddenly shifted in his seat and seemed a bit fidgety. His face took on a light hue of red, but not nearly matching his hair.

"All right, I'll tell you. Sanzo and I, we sort of decided . . . To start looking for . . . A third party," He mumbled out. Jien took the words in for a moment and analyzed them. His eyes suddenly went wide, and he stared at Gojyo with an open mouth and eyes of accusation.

"You both decided to find a third? What brought this on?" He asked his brother breathlessly. Gojyo sighed and set up a bit in his chair. He ran his long tan fingers through his bangs as he studied his older brother. He was suddenly glad that the office door was closed. The precinct was practically a rumor mill.

"It got boring halfway through. We didn't want to split apart though, that would've made our partnership more difficult. We both just decided to find somebody who could agree with both of us, we didn't think about it for more than a week when suddenly well . . . We both, had an epiphany." Jien sat up more in his seat as he regarded Gojyo.

"And this, third person is all right with it? He's okay with both of you wanting this with him?" He asked carefully. Gojyo was a grown man, perfectly capable of making his own decisions but that didn't mean Jien wasn't still going to be an older brother about it all. He was a little scared for Gojyo, sometimes his habits were out of control. He didn't want his brother hurting this third person, especially if the other wasn't aware that he was in over his head. He didn't think Gojyo was incapable of loving somebody; he just wanted to make sure that the load was distributed correctly. He didn't want Gojyo involved in some freaky gang bang

"He's fine with it, in fact, more than fine. I can't think of a night we haven't spent at his apartment. Sanzo and I are there practically there every night," He said, not knowing he just gave away valuable information. Jien blinked in confusion, and he regarded Gojyo with a critical eye.

"Wait, I thought you were supposed to be guarding Hakkai. Do you go to this guy's place afterwards?" He asked in confusion. Gojyo was about to open his mouth when he gave a slightly nervous grin instead. Jien sat for a moment thinking until it hit him. The older brother was suddenly turning red but not an embarrassment, but in anger. As tempted as he was to stand up and strangle Gojyo, he needed to remember he was in the workplace. Instead, he glared the other down, promising a swift death for his actions.

"Do not tell me that you got Hakkai involved with your little fuck session?" He asked heatedly. Gojyo was a little nervous at the moment. He hadn't seen his brother so angry since the day he caught him smoking for the first time. Gojyo was suddenly aware that this was a whole new level of anger.

"It's not what you think, were not like that anymore. Sanzo and I well we, we kind of settled down. Seriously, it's not like we're forcing him. It just sort of . . . It kind of just happened. Believe me, we're not forcing him to do anything he doesn't want to," Gojyo said honestly if not a little angry himself. For God sakes, his brother should know what kind of person he was; he still had some pride. His older brother was still shaking as he carefully set his head in his hands.

"Gojyo, this is not a good idea. You have no idea, what this man has been through. Hakkai out of all of us, he's just . . . He's special okay? I can't tell you, but just believe me when I say he's been through a lot of deep shit, all right? If you hurt him, you're going to have a lot of angry people after you. He needs to be taken care of, especially after . . . After he got . . . God just thinking about it makes me sick," He groaned into his hands.

Gojyo studied his brother as the reminder of what had happened to the brunette hit him. They were both silent, deep in their thoughts as Gojyo sat back in his chair just a bit and took a gaping breath. The room suddenly seemed more stuffy than normal. He imagined the brunette's face, at every interval he had encountered so far. A happy one, the frightened one, the dead one, and the crying one, the face he hated the most. Gojyo hated it when people cried, his mother used to always cry whenever she was drunk. He would watch for hours as she drank herself into a coma, rocking back and forth as tears spilled on her face. Gojyo always felt this need to protect Hakkai every time he was about to cry. He wasn't sure if the brunette was aware, but there were times when Hakkai thought he could hide it. The moment he went to shower, when he spent a little too much time in the laundry room and came back with red-rimmed eyes. Gojyo could always tell, it had been a scene that had haunted him for almost his entire life.

"Jien, I promise. Hakkai is in good hands. He was a mess when we got back, but we . . . Sanzo and I . . . We really care about him okay? In fact, it should have been brought up a long time ago but . . . Sanzo thinks both of us are . . . You know . . . Attached too much? Oh hell, let's face it, both of us are in love with him," He said in embarrassment. Jien raised his head from his hands and regarded Gojyo like he had six heads.

"You've got to be kidding me. Sanzo can't even love chocolate and believe me, he loves chocolate," Jien said in all seriousness. Gojyo shrugged and instead looked out the window at the rain outside.

"I can't explain it, it's funky really, but both of us . . . Just by spending time with him, realized how much he means to us. I'm serious bro, I think he's the one," He said sounding in disbelief himself. Jien's eyes suddenly took a sad turn.

"Gojyo, you have to promise me something," He said. Gojyo looked from out the window back to his brother who had that look on his face he had never seen before.

"What? We're going to take care of him if that's what you mean. Hell, he takes care of us more than we do him," He said jokingly. His brother's face didn't change and he himself turned serious.

"What?" He asked. Jien shook his head, reaching over and tapping his index finger on the top of Gojyo's hand.

"Hakkai is a very delicate person. I think you have seen that for yourself. He's smart, smarter than any man I've ever met. He's got a lot of stones; he's been through hell. What with the insomnia, the case, taking care of Kougaiji . . . His sister getting killed . . . " He rambled.

Jien suddenly took a hitch of breath and his teeth clenched. He looked at Gojyo as if he had accidentally electrified the other. It took a moment for Gojyo to absorb his words and when he did, his eyes bulged, and he felt cold seep into his chest.

"What did you just say?" He asked seriously. Both brothers, stared at one another. Jien suddenly had a pained look on his face as he regarded his little brother. His mouth opened and closed a few times, much like dying fish. He took a shaky breath and ran his fingers through his short-cropped hair.

"Shit, you weren't supposed to hear that," He whispered to himself in horror. Gojyo suddenly became angry as he stood from his chair.

"Jien, what are you hiding? Hakkai told me his sister got sick and died. What do you mean she was killed?" He asked in all seriousness. Before his older brother could respond, there was shouting coming from the hallway. Doors were being opened, and footsteps could be heard running down the hallways. Both brothers were distracted for a moment as the door came slamming open and Yaone stood there trying to catch her breath.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but it's urgent. Another body has been found, killed this morning," She said in sorrow.

* * *

**TBC**


	24. All the things he says

**Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki**

**Wow, actually this story only has a few more chapters left, enjoy!**

**Chapter 24: All the things he says**

* * *

Hakkai sat at his computer typing like a madman. He typed strictly from memory alone as he filled the blank page on his computer screen. His eyes were straining, and he felt his migraine getting even worse. He pushed part of his needed work aside as he struggled to keep his mind at a pace with his fingers. When it became too much, Hakkai had to stop. Sitting back in his chair, he stared at the file as if the thing was mocking him. He didn't hear the commotion upstairs as it was almost nearing the end of the day. He had two hours to go until he would be able to get away from this place. As much as he was happy to be back, he suddenly wanted to be home, so he could think a lot more clearly.

* * *

Sanzo and Gojyo pulled up their collars against the chill of the rain. As soon as they were called out, a dispatch had already arrived. They sloshed through the mud as they came to a more rural part of the city. Walking past a lined fence, they entered a field, gated off from the public. A tent had been set up over where the body had been found, making sure to preserve what evidence they could. The body was fresh, only a few hours' old they were told.

They neared the tent, passing fellow officers and Gojyo flashed his badge to the guard to go through. Sanzo followed behind stiffly, in this weird mood that Gojyo had yet to decipher but at the moment, he didn't have time to. The blond stood behind him, looking around the tent as a coroner looked over the body of the victim. He was an older man, looking about his mid thirties. His white jacket was brushing the moist ground as he observed the body. He wore glasses, much in the same design of Hakkai's. The coroner's hair was tied in a small pony tail below his neck, black in color

"This one is strange; it doesn't meet the usual motive that our serial killer uses," The man said more to himself. Gojyo walked up to him and crouched down to be closer.

"I'm detective Genjyo Sanzo, and this is my partner detective Sha Gojyo. Who is the deceased?" Sanzo asked, still standing and observing the back of the departed. The man was laying face down in the grass, there were bruises around his neck and the collar of his blue shirt was torn. The victim didn't look any older than eighteen. His sleeves were rolled up; his wrists bruised . . . Just like Hakkai's were after he was attacked. Violet eyes narrowed, and he looked at the coroner.

"There was ID on him when he was discovered by some kids playing ball. His name is Wenylon Harving. He was a local criminal-justice major at the university in the center of the city," He explained. Both Gojyo and Sanzo looked at each other.

"So what, this guy is targeting future cops now? What about his preferred type of victim?" he asked. The coroner looked the body over as he carefully pulled a sheet over the dead man's body.

"He was going after women in the last month, but he turned to men only recently. The victim shows signs of sexual trauma, possible rape," The coroner said, staring at the body through the sheet. Sanzo stepped past Gojyo to examine the man under the sheet. The rain was making the tent stuffy and hot as the lights illuminating the body baked them horribly.

"Has he recently been doing this to his victims?" He asked, examining his wrists closer. The coroner shook his head as he stood up from the damp ground.

"No, not really. The last woman who was found a month before wasn't touched. Another woman left four weeks earlier wasn't either. So far, only the male victims had been left dead with signs of pre mortem sexual trauma or abuse," he said.

Both detectives observed the victim closely and then glanced at one another in a silent communication. What was disturbing to them both though, was how the victim's hair was the same color and style that Hakkai usually wore. Short in the back while letting most of it fall off to his left side. When they had first received news of Hakkai's attack, they half wondered, half-imagined what the crime scene photos would have been. The horror that they could have come across if the killer had decided to go all the way with Hakkai. Gojyo shook the thoughts of a dead Hakkai away as he looked at the coroner who was now picking up his evidence bag.

"The first?" Gojyo asked, standing up and wiping his hands on his pants.

"Two weeks ago, there have been about three bodies since then, until now," He said, doing a sweeping motion with his hand over the latest victim.

"When was the second man found?" Sanzo asked before Gojyo could. The blond had a feeling that his partner had just been about to ask the same question.

"About two weeks ago also, a body showed up the day after the other one," He replied. Gojyo shook his head as he saw Sanzo leave the tent and talk to some of the officers stationed outside. After a few more questions they gathered what they needed and headed back to the car. The wind was picking up outside as both men drove back to the station. Both men were silent but for very different reasons. Rain pounded against the windshield as Gojyo reached into his pocket for his cigarettes. He took one out and put it between his lips, lighting it with his Zippo. Sanzo's face was illuminated for just a moment as the flame appeared and quickly disappeared again.

"That's the same week Hakkai was raped," Gojyo muttered, inhaling. They were halfway through the ride, but the blond knew what he was talking about. Sanzo stopped at a red light and watched his windshield wipers struggle to give him a clear view of the road. He leaned back in his seat and slung his hand through his hair.

"So he rapes the person and goes back for them. Three bodies, all males are the only ones who had been sexually abused before they were killed. If that was the case, why did he leave Hakkai alive?" Gojyo couldn't help but add. Sanzo's hands tightened on the steering wheel, and he pulled forward when the light turned green.

"I don't know, that might be a question we would have to ask Hakkai himself," The blond said reluctantly.

"I never really got the nerve to ask Hakkai what . . . Exactly happened. I guess we just really wanted him to try to forget. I didn't want . . . To ask him any details, but eventually I know I'm going to have to," Gojyo said quietly, setting his chin on his hand. The car ride was silent for a few more minutes.

"That fucker best hope I never get to him. I wouldn't mind going to jail after I shove the barrel of my gun up his ass and fire," Sanzo said in a deadly whisper.

Gojyo looked out the window to the wet world outside. They were almost to the station when an earlier conversation came back to the redhead's mind. Sanzo glanced at him from the corner of his eye.

"What is it?" He asked his partner.

Gojyo looked back at him and debated whether he should voice his thoughts. For now, he decided to keep his mouth shut until he could talk more with his brother.

"I was just thinking, let's take Hakkai out to dinner tonight. I really don't want to make him cook on his first day back, and I don't feel like cooking either in this crappy weather," He said instead. Sanzo turned back to the road and nodded.

"Give him a shout, I'll swing back and get him."

* * *

Hakkai carefully resealed the envelope, making it look like no one even opened it. He cleaned up his workstation and was sure to delete the history on his computer. His hands were shaking and he held them up, so he could look at them. They were pale and sweaty, feeling clammy.

He didn't know how to feel right now; his stomach was empty and began to growl. He wasn't sure if it was from nervousness or nausea. Even though he had lunch with Kougaiji, he still felt empty inside. His mind was a jumbled mass, and he didn't know what to do about it. Chunks were missing and he really felt like he needed to talk to Kougaiji, but he was afraid. He was fearful that maybe his friend knew all about it and was keeping it from him on purpose. He was confused and angry if not a little scared. He bit his bottom lip as he once again glanced at the file. He reached up and ran his fingers through his bangs, feeling the sweat gather on his scalp. His phone suddenly buzzed on his desk and startled him in the silence. He jumped in his seat and struggled not to fall over as it wheeled to the side. He pushed himself back to the desk and stared at the cell phone as if he just noticed it. Picking it up he took a breath to calm himself down, he saw that it was a text message from Gojyo.

_In the car with Sanzo, on the way, want to grab dinner somewhere?_

_G._

Hakkai read the message and heard his stomach growl again. He took a deeper breath and replied back. His fingers moved quickly if not shakily over the keypad of his phone.

_Sounds good, see you up front?_

_H._

Hakkai waited for an answer as he carefully put the file away and hid his own copies into the pocket of his jacket. His phone buzzed again, and he looked at it.

_Be there in about 10 min. Going to the place near the market. Don't want you to have to cook tonight._

_G._

Hakkai's heart warmed at the sentiment, and he couldn't help but smile. The sudden fear he had was beaten down only slightly. He couldn't help but really appreciate both detectives right now. Maybe a night out with them might clear his head and help him think.

_Thank you. It's been a long day. See you outside in 10 min._

_H._

* * *

The detectives picked him up outside station. Gojyo thought it would be funny to act like Hakkai was a hooker when they pulled up to him. When the car pulled up, Gojyo rolled down his window to flash the brunette, a smile and a wink.

"Hey baby, how much for a ride? I'm awfully lonely," He purred out seductively. Hakkai blinked in surprise until the recognition came over his face at what Gojyo was doing. He couldn't help but hold back a laugh as Sanzo rolled his eyes from the driver's side.

"Well, how much you got? Fifteen for a handy, thirty for a dark cave, and fifty for around the world sugar, " He said casually back, checking his nails. He had only recited what one woman had offered him when he had been standing at the bus stop a couple of years ago. Hakkai got off work late, and the bus schedule changed during the seasons. He didn't realize he was waiting at a bus stop in a very large neighborhood known for prostitution.

Gojyo had looked so surprised at the answer before he bursted out laughing, slapping the side of the car with his hand. Hakkai quickly got inside the car, throwing his suitcase on the seat next to him. He flushed in embarrassment when Sanzo gave him a strange look as he got in the backseat. The blond looked torn between amusement and wanting to hit Gojyo for his stupid behavior.

Hakkai felt better already, it was amazing with these two men did to him.

The rain had just started to drizzle by the time the detectives met him in the parking lot. He was grateful for the heater of the car as it was on full blast. He smiled at the both of them as Sanzo pulled out of the parking lot and began to head to their usual spot. They talked lightly on the way, asking about his first day back and how he felt about it. They reached the diner and went inside, getting a booth at the back of the establishment. It was one of those circular ones; Hakkai slippingin first and taking the middle, Gojyo and Sanzo on either side of him. It was a nice little place, and they came there often before they started what they had. It was never packed; the people were nice, and the food was always good with a decent price attached.

"You were out in the car today, has anything come up?" Hakkai asked them. To be honest, his mind is somewhere else at the moment, but he didn't want the detectives to know that. Somewhere in the back of his head he hoped that both men weren't also somehow involved with the file he'd come upon earlier. He'd hate to think that of them, and he really needed them right now.

"Nah, nothing much, they sent us on some lead near town, but it turned out to be bogus," Gojyo said leaning back in his seat. He looked meaningful at Sanzo, but the blond didn't like where this was going. He narrowed his violet eyes at the red head but decided to play along for now. However, often he hated being told what to do by the other.

"Just some kids playing pretend, they wasted our time," Sanzo said, picking up his menu. Hakkai frowned as he slid his jacket off his shoulders and into the seat. He shook its head a bit to get some of the rain drops out of his hair. He used his fingers to smooth down the rougher parts of his hair, and he didn't notice Gojyo giving him an appreciative once over because of the action. For some reason, whenever Hakkai played with his hair, it was a turn-on for the redhead.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Especially on a rainy day like this? I feel guilty being nice and warm in the basement while you both track in the rain all day. I hope you don't get sick," He said with a smile. Sanzo looked up from his menu, but he flashed Hakkai a tiny smile in return.

"Don't worry about it, I should have known it would come with the job," He said.

"Yeah, still feels shitty though, I feel like I've wasted the day. Anything interesting on your end?" Gojyo asked casually as he looked over his own menu.

"Hmm . . . Stew or chicken?" Gojyo mumbled quickly to himself.

Hakkai was suddenly taken by a slight chill even in the warm diner. He rubbed his arms and debated whether to tell Gojyo about Kougaiji. In the end, he gave Sanzo a glance and hoped the earlier anger he had was long dissipated. He turned back to Gojyo as he bit his lip.

"Well . . . Kougaiji's back in town," He started. Casually, and not making it to sound like anything, he told Gojyo about what had occurred around lunchtime. Gojyo knew all about it of course, after all, he had asked Hakkai if he ever slept with Kougaiji that night he was over at the red head's apartment. Gojyo looked surprised but he almost seemed like he was expecting it by the look on his face. Sanzo still remained silent over by his menu, not aware of what had occurred between Kougaiji and Hakkai before they all got together.

"Should have known, it's not your fault, no offense; the guy should have made a move sooner. But, I'm not sure if I ever wanted him to," He said, giving Hakkai a smirk and a wink. Hakkai blushed despite himself and looked down at his table ware. He stared at his reflection in his spoon.

"He still my friend Gojyo, I may not be in love with him, but I owe him a lot. I wouldn't say what we did was a mistake, to be honest I never thought I'd ever see him again after his promotion. I hate to say it, but I don't regret it," He said honestly.

Hakkai closed his eyes as memories of that night struck him.

"But it's the past, what's done is done," He said solemnly.

Sanzo sat quietly, listening to him talk. Hakkai didn't know if Gojyo had ever mentioned it to him, about him being with Kougaiji, and he hated to think this was how the blond found out. He didn't feel guilty though or ashamed, after all, both men had probably been with plenty of other people before they met each other.

"Did he ask you anything?" Sanzo asked, putting down his menu. Hakkai moved some hair behind his ears when he realized he was still wearing his glasses. He took them off and grabbed for his case in the pocket of his coat.

"I didn't give him any detail, all I said was that at the moment, I wasn't available. He didn't seem angry, and he didn't lash out at me which I'm gratefully for. I always remember Kougaiji having this horrible temper, but he's never taken it out on me. I just feel . . . Guilty I guess. Some part of me is angry that I let it happen. The other part is just . . . Just . . . " And Hakkai honestly couldn't think of a word to use at the moment. They haven't really discussed what they were yet, and this was the last place he wanted to actually bring it up.

Both detectives seemed to be lost in their thoughts for a moment.

"Do you love him?" Gojyo asked, not really sounding accusing, more like curiously. Hakkai looked up from his case which he didn't realize he'd been staring at. He actually thought about it; he loved Kougaiji but was he in love with Kougaiji?

"Maybe some part of me in the past would've pursued a relationship, if he had acted sooner, but not now. Kougaiji has a lot on his plate at the moment, and his sister is sick. Her name is Lirin, and she's a wonderful girl. I'm kind of mad at him for not thinking about that first. She must be getting better if he's acting like this," Hakkai said, putting his glass' case in his coat. Gojyo suddenly had a funny look on his face. He picked up his hand and casually smoothed down the front of his shirt.

"Speaking of, was your sister always sickly?" He asked. Hakkai was extremely surprised at the question. He wasn't trying to avoid talking about Kanan, but that didn't mean he always wanted to. He sat there blankly for a moment trying to remember. Thinking back on it, he never really saw signs that she had gotten sick often. She was always perfectly healthy, fit and happy. Besides the occasional asthma attack once in a while, she never really showed signs of ill health.

"Um, no, she was always quite healthy. I mean, I don't exactly remember what she . . . Died of. It wasn't cancer because I was tested since were twins. Why do you ask?" He said slightly confused. Sanzo was suddenly staring at Gojyo like the man had just asked what his penis size was. He looked slightly angry but at the same time he seemed just as confused as well.

"No reason, I was only curious. This Lirin girl just made me think about it for a moment. I think the one time I've ever discussed it was when we first met. I hope it's okay to ask," he said trying to brush it off. Hakkai nodded slowly but still looked a little confused. He wasn't confused by the question anymore as much as he was by trying to think back and remember something. His mind suddenly felt fuzzy, altered in a way. He felt a migraine coming back, and the bright lights in the diner were doing nothing to help push it back.

"No it's . . It's okay. To be honest, I was never given full details about it. The doctors didn't really talk to me that often. Kougaiji mostly handled it; I could ask him. But Lirin has always been like my little sister, so I worry about her. All of us had a lot in common, sometimes it felt like Kougaiji was the older brother, Kanan and I the middle children and Lirin the younger sister."

"You were orphans?" Gojyo asked. Hakkai knew Gojyo didn't mind asking the question. They shared a lot in common. Both had grown up without parents, Gojyo going into the system while Hakkai and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

"Yes, I believe my father had died in an accident. I'm not sure about my mother. I don't believe she's dead. She disappeared, and I believe, ran off with another man I suppose. The earliest memory I have was of a small white house somewhere down south. I'd never seen the city before, it was so noisy and crowded. I remember feeling overwhelmed when I arrived at the orphanage," He said. Thinking back on it now he realized he didn't have many memories of when he was younger. That white house had once plagued his dreams, but he wasn't sure if it is necessarily his house.

"So you think your mom is still alive?" Gojyo asked again. Hakkai was trying to remember how this conversation even got started.

"Maybe, it's possible she might've even started a whole other family," Hakkai whispered. Now that he thought about it, he didn't feel hatred when he talked about her. He hadn't seen her since he was five. He was much older now, and he still didn't feel any resentment. Who knows, maybe he was better off without her.

"Hey that reminds me, not to change the topic but, Sanzo how is your old man doing?" Gojyo asked. Sanzo was still looking at his partner with suspicion in his eyes. Gojyo gave him a look back that clearly said, answer my question. The blond steeled his jaw but complied.

"He's fine. He's visiting his sister in Florida. Got sunburn on the first day," He replied. Hakkai perked up at the red head mentioning that Sanzo had finally called his father.

"That's great. I'm glad you're talking. Not that it's any of my business, but I was worried," He said softly. Sanzo stopped looking at Gojyo and instead turned to Hakkai. Unlike him, he raised his hand and set it on Hakkai's upper arm.

"No, you were right. He's just been a hard man to figure out, but I needed some time away from him," He replied.

Before Hakkai could say anything, the waitress had stepped over. Remembering they were hungry each man quickly skimmed through the menus. Needing more time they ordered coffee all around until they could decide what they wanted. The conversation had Hakkai realizing how much he didn't really remember. It was weird, he never had trouble before.

Knowing what he wanted to order, he turned to the two men, and they nodded at him, knowing also. The waitress came back, with a small hitch in her step. She was a young thing, maybe working her way through college like most girls. She was petite but not skinny to the point of unhealthy. Hakkai couldn't honestly remember the last time he had checked a woman out. He admitted to himself that she really was quite attractive. Soft red hair held up in a high ponytail, her diner uniform fitting her in all the right places. No doubt if he wasn't with Gojyo and Sanzo, he probably would've asked her out. She looked to be about eighteen he guessed, but he wasn't that far away from eighteen himself so maybe it could have worked out. As the girl drew closer, her name tag read Sherry.

It was funny that he was thinking about this now. His insomnia hasn't really acted up lately. Back then, all he could think about was how to sleep at night. Now he thought about relationships and what he was going through with both detectives. He stopped seeing his therapist, the woman having pissed him off beyond belief. It was funny how his life had taken such a drastic turn like this.

Her shoes clicked on the diner floor as she held the tray containing their coffee. She passed Gojyo his first, Sanzo second, and Hakkai the last cup of steaming liquid. She gave Hakkai a seductive smile, a small turn of lips as her green eyes regarded him attentively.

"Let me know if there's anything else I can get you," She flirted with a wink. Her voice was both soft and strong as she spoke. Hakkai gave her his fake smile, the one he gave strangers, mostly or people he simply wanted to go away without being impolite.

"Ah, yes thank you, I'll be sure to let you know," He replied evenly. She smiled and walked away, handing their orders to the cook before flashing a smile at him over her shoulder and receding to the back. Hakkai felt a blush travel from the back of his neck to his face when he realized that Gojyo was leering at him. The red head was smiling like a loon as he set his chin in his hand and leaned closer to Hakkai's face.

"Dude, she was totally hitting on you!" He whispered in excitement. Hakkai shook his head and reached for his coffee. He poured in his sugar and milk shakily as he proceeded to clear his throat.

"She was just being friendly Gojyo . . . I'm sure she does it with all the male customers. It's how she earns her tips. I mean . . . I used to do the same thing," He admitted. Suddenly realizing what he said he blushed even harder and proceeded to stir his coffee. Sanzo, preferring his coffee black, halfway through sipping his, actually stopped and looked at the brunette, blinking.

"Where?" He asked sounding a little accusing. Gojyo instead Sanzo a grin that was on the borderline of laughter.

"Ah, don't worry Sanzo, no need to get jealous," Gojyo positively giggled. Sanzo clenched his teeth and glared at Gojyo.

"Don't make me take you to the car and shoot you!" He hissed. Hakkai wondered if he should have ever mentioned it.

"Ah, maybe I should have kept my mouth shut," He whispered to himself. Gojyo and Sanzo continued to bicker back and forth until the food arrived. While they were bickering, Hakkai's mind went back to the file he had read earlier. He was glad though for a while that his mind had been otherwise preoccupied. It felt good to just sit here and act normal, even if his own mind was still in turmoil. Maybe it was the rain or from being hungry, but he actually began to feel a little sick. He didn't want to hurt Gojyo's feelings, but he had felt sick ever since their conversation about Kanan.

He didn't blame them for being curious, after all, when you get to know somebody, you wanted to know about their past, where they come from. He just wished in a way that maybe Gojyo could've been a little more . . . Sensitive about it. It wasn't fair of him though, Gojyo still had his brother, so they didn't know what it was like to lose each other. How could Hakkai explain that it was like watching yourself die? Losing a part of yourself and not being able to do anything about it?

He shook those thoughts from his mind as the food arrived. Once again, the waitress gave him a coy smile as she sat down his plate and walked away. Each man dug into their meal, each of them hungry from the long workday. Thunder clashed outside and just for a moment the lights in the diner flicked. Hakkai startled and dropped his fork, clinging loudly on his plate. The noise startled him, and he felt the shock of fear jump up his throat, for some reason. He quickly swallowed and tried not to cough as he covered his mouth. People in the diner began commenting about the sudden flash and turned, looking at the weather outside.

"You okay?" Gojyo asked him, staring in concern. Hakkai padded his chest as he managed to get the last part of food down. His eyes watered just a bit as he picked up his napkin and couched into it.

"Yes, I'm sorry; it startled me. It seems the weatherman was wrong again," He said, trying to distract himself. They quickly ate their food and got ready to leave. As they were slipping on their coats in the booth, the waitress stepped over to put the bill on the table.

"Leaving so soon? I can't interest you gentlemen in some dessert?" She asked, but remained looking at Hakkai. The brunette gave her soft smile as he quickly grabbed the bill before Gojyo or Sanzo could. He put thirty dollars on the bill and handed it back to her.

"Thank you, but we should be going. Please keep the change," He told her. He led the men out as he tucked his receipt in his pocket. They grumbled at him that he shouldn't have paid for it, but Hakkai brushed it off. When he got into the car, he carefully took out the receipt and looked at the amount. Sure enough, there were some extra numbers he didn't want to see.

The girl wrote her name near the total, along with her phone number. Hakkai frowned and crumpled up the receipt, casually throwing it out the window when both the men in the front seat weren't looking. Sometimes he wondered, what could've been? Nevertheless, he had both the detectives now; he wasn't worried about the future.

* * *

When they got back to Hakkai's apartment, the brunette felt the full effects of the day hit him. He took off his coat and hung it up as both detectives came in behind him. It seemed like a routine now, they always coming over. However, Hakkai couldn't help but ask the same question he did every time they followed behind him inside.

"Did you both want to stay the night?" He asked them softly, turning a bit to look at them. Both men looked at each other and then looked heatedly at the brunette.

"Only if you want us to," Gojyo said casually with one eye open. Hakkai shook his head as he gently smoothed back the wet hair on the back of his neck. He didn't miss the heat of desire that went into Gojyo's eyes on the action.

"You know you're both more than welcome. I just didn't want to feel like I was smothering anyone," He said lightly. Sanzo shook his head as he dropped his shoes near the door. He approached Hakkai and didn't waste time as he pulled the brunette in and kissed him. Gojyo watched as Hakkai immediately reacted, something he had been shy to do in the past. Observing his two lovers, Gojyo realized just how lucky he was. Both gorgeous men were his, all his.

Hakkai wrapped his arms around Sanzo's back, letting his fingernails scrape against the crisp shirt. Sanzo moaned as he reached back and grabbed Gojyo's belt buckle, hauling them both toward the living room. The red head stumbled but immediately caught up with their advances. The apartment was still dark as all three men clung to one another, heat rising. Clothing was lost as Hakkai's shirt was taken from him and thrown to the floor. They took turns on each other, groping and kissing skin as zippers were pulled down. Before Gojyo could pull them all to the bedroom, Hakkai stopped and kept them where they were. He pulled his mouth away from Sanzo's and had to place a hand on the blond's chest to stay him.

"Wait, let's stay out here," He asked of them, sounding slightly out of breath. His hair was mussed as his green eyes glazed over. His lips were kiss swollen as he took rapid breaths in and out of his naked chest. They both looked at Hakkai strangely but complied with his request.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Sanzo asked first, Gojyo standing behind him. On the way to the living room Hakkai lost his shirt. His chest rose and fell in the dark, and he knew they couldn't see the blush coating his face. Both detectives for a while managed to take his mind off the day. He was tired yes, but that exhaustion had turned into sexual need. He wanted both men, but he wanted them both at the same time. He had an idea, but he would need to be in the living room where there was more room to do it. He summed up his courage, and voiced his needs.

"I want both of you, inside, at the same time," He whispered. He became a little self-conscious as both of their eyes bulged. So far, the way this had worked, they always started off at the foreplay and then eventually working at each other one at a time. They had all done it at the same time, but the first time was when they had all been together, but Hakkai had something else in mind.

"Like how?" Gojyo asked, blinking. Hakkai looked to the side for a moment before he turned back to the detectives.

"Gojyo, would you please go get the lube?" He asked of the other. The red head was still curious but complied as he quickly walked the bedroom. Sanzo's hands were still on his hips as he looked the blond over, biting his lip.

"You'll have to forgive me, but I wanted to experiment," He said in explanation. Sanzo raised an eyebrow, but he didn't seem resistant.

"What did you have in mind? We're not going to do it if it's going to hurt you," He told the brunette quickly with a serious gaze. Hakkai gently shrugged him off and began to walk backwards. Reaching for his own belt, he undid it and let his slacks fall to the floor. Sanzo's eyes roamed over his skin as he stood in nothing but his tight boxer shorts. Gojyo returned quickly with the lube but stood there awkwardly with it.

"Now what?" He asked, palming the tube. Both detectives realized that now they were letting Hakkai run the show. Hakkai had always been a willing follower, but it seems this time, he wanted to take the lead in their lovemaking. No matter what though, they would always accept whatever worked out. It wasn't exactly like each of them was so macho they hadn't already been inside of each other. Gojyo liked to bottom, and so did Sanzo. It's just sometimes Gojyo did more topping than bottoming. Hakkai had something else in mind as he smiled at the detectives.

"Get undressed and I'll tell you," He promised. Both men quickly complied, the lust spiking at the hoarse whisper Hakkai had spoken at them. When both men were naked, Hakkai couldn't help but have a hitch of breath, it always took his breath away at how beautiful these men were. He couldn't believe he had been doing such things with such gorgeous bodies. The shyness was gone now. He still felt embarrassed sometimes, but that was normal in the experimental stage. Sex was all about experimentation, especially when it involved three people.

"Sanzo, you're going to be inside me, but in a different way. Gojyo, I'm going to lie on top of Sanzo, and I want you behind me," He said. Hakkai turned his back on them as he carefully pulled down his underwear. As they slid down his ankles, he kicked them off to land somewhere near the couch.

"Understand?" He asked them, looking at them from over his shoulder. His green eyes were like emeralds as they shined from the moonlight coming through the window. Both men quickly looked at each other before they nodded. Sanzo came up behind him first in order to kiss his shoulder blades.

"And what do you want me doing?" He asked, running his hands down the brunette's back. Hakkai had to well up his courage in order to get the next few words out. He reached behind him and grabbed one of Sanzo's wrists.

"Get on your back and you will see," He whispered back. Sanzo moved to be in front of him, and Gojyo came up behind the brunette. Rain pattered against the windows as Hakkai gently pushed Sanzo onto his back, Gojyo crawling up behind him. The heat of their bodies warmed him and soothed him, much different from the times they had all been together. The air was cold and he felt himself shiver, goose bumps lining his skin. Hakkai had always been the forefront of their attention, but this time, he wanted someone else to be in the spotlight.

He gently leaned down and kissed Sanzo's collarbone, one of his favorite parts of the blond's body. Both men were built, years of being on the force. Hakkai was in no means muscular, he was about average with most of his muscle in his arms. He didn't have a set of abs like Gojyo or biceps like Sanzo, but he had his own strengths just in different areas.

Gojyo casually ran his hands-down Hakkai's back as he kissed down his spine. He could feel Sanzo's erection touching his stomach and in turn his own arousal began to build. Hakkai suddenly felt nervous when he thought about what he wanted to do. He might've been with the man often, but there was one thing that he hadn't tried yet with them.

"Gojyo, I don't need to be stretched," He told the red head. Gojyo moaned at the words and clenched his teeth. His large hands ran down Hakkai's sides, the tan fingers roaming over pale creamy skin.

"Jesus Hakkai, what did you have in mind already?" He asked in a heated whisper. Sanzo's hands came up to join Gojyo's, reaching down and squeezing the globes of his ass. Hakkai gave a hitch of breath and a small moan as he closed his eyes. His hair fell in front of his eyes, obscuring his vision as he felt fingers travel between the globes. He needed to focus.

"Gojyo, I want you inside me. Sanzo, I have something else in mind for you," He whispered shakily, trying to control himself. Hakkai hovered over Sanzo, who was on his back as Gojyo sat on his knees behind him. Spreading his thighs to adjust, Hakkai's head traveled past Sanzo's belly button, stopping only moments to kiss it, before coming face-to-face with his erection. He licked his lips as he saw the shaft stand tall and hard. Hakkai may have been with both men often, but he had yet to give either of them, a blow job. Every time he had tried, both the men had quickly moved in on him. He wanted to give them the same pleasure they gave him when they immediately went for his cock. Sanzo stared at him with hungry purple eyes. Hakkai wanted to give just as good as he got now.

"Gojyo," He whispered to the other man. It seemed tonight wasn't about romance, tonight was just about a good fuck. It'd been a hard day on them all; it's what they all needed. Leaning down, he set his lips on the skin just above Sanzo's cock. He could feel Gojyo's long hair as it swept against his backside as he sat up to grab the lube. Gently spreading Sanzo's thighs, he breathed hot air over the straining organ. He heard the lube dropped somewhere behind him and Gojyo's eager intake of breath. The large organ was presented at the brunette's entrance as Gojyo pushed in without hesitation. Hakkai's fingers briefly squeezed Sanzo's thighs as it entered him. He gave a small whimper as it seated itself all the way and in turn pushed him closer to Sanzo's crotch. The same sensation of being filled roamed Hakkai's body, and he reveled in it. He hated to admit it, but every time they were together; Hakkai had the selfish love of being the bottom. The knowledge that both men had been inside him at one time made his lust spike. Feeling Gojyo starting to thrust, he quickly swallowed Sanzo's cock and hummed around it. It felt like velvet against his tongue, soft but warm.

Sanzo moaned as his cock was enveloped in wet heat, Hakkai's head moving between his thighs. The image alone made the blond growl, and he threaded his fingers through chocolate hair. Hakkai tried to remember what he had liked done to him and simply imprinted it onto Sanzo. He moved his head smoothly, relaxing his throat muscles and working on the shaft with his tongue. It tasted like skin. It smelt musky and utterly of Sanzo. He did hear Gojyo painting above him as he worked inside of him, the image alone must've done something to him.

Hakkai closed his eyes as he let the sensation of being fucked hit him. His back muscles strained and pulled against the skin, and he could feel it in his spine. He could feel Sanzo gently thrust into his mouth as he let one hand leave the blonde's thigh and run down to the base of the shaft. He grasped the base of the erection as he carefully released his mouth and licked the tip. Sanzo's stomach muscles jumped and he groaned, clenching his teeth in rapture. His blonde hair was starting to sweat, and a bead of it ran down the side of his face, making him close his left eye.

"Fuck . . . Hakkai," He moaned out.

Spurred on by the words, Hakkai took him back into his mouth. He worked harder, trying to imagine what might give Sanzo the most pleasure. The fingers in his hair tightened a bit painfully, but Hakkai said nothing around the mouthful of flesh. Gojyo's sweat dripped onto his back as he gripped Hakkai's hips harder and moved a hand over his stomach to start stroking his cock. Hakkai made a muffled noise around Sanzo as Gojyo fisted him. Closing his eyes, Hakkai felt his orgasm build in his stomach and made the muscles in his thighs twitch. Sanzo sat up a bit, and by the way, he was panting; he was close. Sanzo and Gojyo tensed at the image of Hakkai between them both, something they had never experienced just yet. Gojyo closed his eyes as Hakkai's inner muscles squeezed him tight.

"Shit, why didn't we do something like this before?" He husked out, bending over Hakkai's back.

"Fuck!" Sanzo growled. Hakkai's emerald eyes burst open in surprise as a rush of liquid filled his mouth. He squeezed his eyes tight and swallowed what he could. He felt the shaft soften in his mouth as he managed to swallow once more. Hakkai gave a sudden gasp as his prostate was rammed and a liquid heat filled him. Gojyo gave a long drawn out moan as he came, feeling the brunette tremble. He pulled out and gently let Hakkai fall back to the carpet, angry finger marks coating his hips. Hakkai had come somewhere between both men, and he groaned, not in pleasure, but about all the bodily fluids now coating his carpet. They all caught their breath and managed to sit on the carpet of the dark apartment.

"Damn Kai, you need to lead more often," Gojyo chuckled. He shifted up to the brunette and kissed his lips, still slightly wet from Sanzo's orgasm. Hakkai accepted the kiss but moaned in surprise as Gojyo tilted his chin and slid his tongue inside. He blushed in embarrassment as he tasted the combination of himself and Sanzo on Gojyo's tongue.

"Gojyo," Hakkai moaned out, setting his hands-on Gojyo's slightly sweaty chest. The coolness in the air hit the sweat of his skin, and he shivered from it. Sanzo sat up fully from the carpet and for a moment, watched them exchange saliva.

"If you two are done, let's head to the bedroom." Gojyo pulled back and gave Sanzo a slightly annoyed look from Hakkai's lips. He smirked though as Sanzo watched Gojyo's hands wander down Hakkai's waist to settle on the top of the brunette's thighs, squeezing gently.

"I'm trying to indulge over here," He growled. Hakkai broke the kiss and moved back a little on the carpet. Although he had just come, he had to admit he could indulge a little more.

"Ah, yes, If you don't mind Gojyo, the carpet is a little cold," He admitted. Sanzo came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Hakkai's stomach, kissing the back of his neck.

"Nice blow job, by the way . " He mumbled into the skin. Hakkai blushed despite himself and hunched his shoulders.

"I guess a thank you is in order . Can't say I've given too many . . . If any," He whispered, looking away. The blond mouthed the skin of his shoulder as his hands roamed up his chest and smoothly ran over his nipples.

"Good, keep it that way," He said, letting his possessiveness shine through. Sanzo had been a little tense Hakkai noticed even during the ride home. Earlier in the day when he had walked in on him and Kougaiji, Hakkai had expected the worst. He expected Sanzo to take out his anger on them both and immediately avoid him or yell at him. Instead, dare he say it, he saw the first few moments of what the blond interpreted as jealousy. Hakkai not knowing if it was anger or jealously, tried to remedy the situation none the less. Somewhere in the back of his mind though he felt elated, no one had ever wanted him enough to be jealous over him. He felt like he had owed Sanzo at least that small reassurance that yes, he was in this situation for the long haul.

Watching Sanzo almost fawn over Hakkai, Gojyo couldn't help but roll his eyes at what the blond had whispered to the brunette.

The red head smirked as he casually stood up, not caring of his nakedness.

"Well then, don't let me spoil the moment. When you two are done holding hands, I'll be in the bedroom, maybe half started," He said lightly, heading for the door. Sanzo raised an eyebrow as he watched the naked man walk across the room. Hakkai gave a light chuckle as he stood and offered Sanzo a hand.

"Best not let him get carried away, he's prone to it," The brunette choked. Sanzo shook his head as he took the offered hand and stood. Reaching down quickly, he grabbed the lube and pushed Hakkai toward the bedroom.

"He's lucky if I'll even watch," He said.

* * *

It was late into the night as the brunette slept peacefully between them. Both the blond and the red head were awake as they gave each other slightly different looks. Gojyo reached forward and carefully took some hair away from Hakkai's eyes, a look of contemplation on his face. The brunette didn't stir as he gave a soft breath and retreated back into a deep sleep. Sanzo gave a quick motion of his head toward the door, an angry scowl on his lips. Gojyo sighed but complied. Being careful not to disturb their sleeping third, they maneuvered out of the large bed and put some pants on. They quietly left the bedroom, closing the door softly behind. The rain would make a good cover-up to silence any noise.

When the door was closed, Sanzo pointed to the kitchen.

"All right you jackass, you've been weird all evening. If you've got something to say, you better start sharing. I don't like being left in the dark," He hissed in a hoarse whisper. Gojyo looked toward the bedroom door where Hakkai slept. He folded his large biceps and almost regarded Sanzo coldly.

"Sheesh, and I thought sex was supposed to loosen you up. Relax, I was waiting for the opportunity to tell you. I spoke with my brother today, he said something very interesting. Or should I say, he let something slip," He whispered back. Sanzo listened intently as Gojyo went through what had happened that day. His violet eyes opened comically wide for his face. Gojyo had never seen the blond looks so confused or surprised before. When he finished, he was leaning against the coffee island and waiting for Sanzo's reaction. The blond was looking at the floor, one of his hands on his hip, the other in his hair.

"Does Hakkai know?" He asked the red head. Gojyo gave a shrug of his shoulders and shook his head.

"Hakkai told me she got sick, Jien said something about her getting killed. Which one do you think is true? I can understand Hakkai lying; murder's a big thing, maybe in his mind, he can't accept it. I think there is something deeper going on though, we need to talk to Kougaiji. That guy has been holding way too much to the rear," He said. Sanzo nodded in agreement as he turned back to the bedroom door.

"Make sure you keep me informed next time," He said sternly. Gojyo remained quiet and at the silence, Sanzo turned back to look at him.

"I care about him to Sanzo," Gojyo said, looking at the floor. He and Sanzo had discussed it, but because of work, which should've been no excuse, they had held off on telling Hakkai how they felt.

"Tomorrow, let's tell him tomorrow," Sanzo said turning back to the door. Gojyo gave a small smile as he pushed off the island and eagerly joined his two lovers back in bed.

* * *

**TBC**

**I never tell reviewers how much I appreciate them reviewing. Thank you all for the writing suggestions and tips, I really use them to improve myself. You're all great, thank you!**

**And thank you to all the people who let me know about the spelling errors and such. I hate my typing program!**


	25. It all comes out

**Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki or any of the characters. Or even the plot for that matter.**

**I know I don't have much interaction between Hakkai and Gojyo right now, a lot of people have been wondering why. I wanted to try and develop Sanzo's character just a bit, he's a very hard character to predict. I promise to add more Gojyo and Hakkai interaction soon. There's a bunch of future one shots, so believe me they'll get plenty.**

**Chapter 25: it all comes out**

* * *

Hakkai quietly hummed to himself as he flipped the omelette in the pan. He heard the shower going and knew Sanzo was finishing up. Hakkai didn't have to go into work until much later, thus he decided to make sure both detectives ate a large breakfast. Gojyo was towel drying his hair as he walked across the kitchen and dropped the towel on the back of the chair. He stood there for a moment, listening to Hakkai humming. He smirked to himself as his lanky frame came up behind the brunette and settled his hands on his hips.

"That smells great," he murmured into his brunette lover's ear. Hakkai stopped humming and smiled over his shoulder at the red head.

"I hope both of you like veggie omelettes, though yes, I did put bacon in yours as requested," he chuckled lightly. Gojyo couldn't resist those sparkling green eyes as he leaned in closer, wrapping his arms fully around Hakkai stomach. The brunette's eyes closed as a pair of lips touched the side of his face and moved to the back of his ear.

"Are you going to be okay by yourself? It seems weird that you go back for one day, and then they don't need you until the afternoon. It's a fucked-up schedule if you ask me," Gojyo said continuing to place kisses on the back of Hakkai's neck. The brunette squirmed as the kisses begin to tickle the fine hairs on the back of his neck. He felt warm in Gojyo's embrace as he carefully lifted his spatula and moved the omelette to a nearby plate.

"I don't mind; I actually got to sleep in. It's about mid-noon; I don't mind taking a cab. I'd hate to make you, and Sanzo come all the way back here to get me," he said giving a small smile. Gojyo shrugged as he watched Hakkai turn off the burner on the stove. Once the stove was off, he fully turned brunette and gently pressed him against the counter.

"Sanzo might bitch, but he doesn't really mind. I don't either, gets me out of the station for a while," he murmured. Hakkai looked up into red eyes as they bore into him. He closed his eyes when Gojyo fully moved forward and captured his lips in a soft kiss. They stood there for several seconds, the smell of eggs and bacon filling the kitchen and the entire apartment. The sun managed to break through the clouds for a moment, bathing the living room in a soft morning light. When Gojyo pulled away, he let his lips slightly hover over Hakkai's.

"I could get used to this, this simplicity. It's nice, getting up in the morning, eating breakfast, getting my good-bye kiss for work. Not too shabby," he smiled. Hakkai gently wrapped his arms around Gojyo's broad shoulders as he buried his face in the taller man's neck.

"I like it too, I hope it never ends."

* * *

Zenon stood on the sidewalk, smoking a cigarette as he waited for his partner to come out of the convenience store. They had rolled into town earlier that morning and needed to stop for supplies before going back to their hangout. He leaned against his motorcycle and ignored the stares and the whispers; he was used to that. People were smart enough to stay away though, Zenon was not in the mood to be messed with. It had been a while since he had been to this city; the buildings were still as tall as ever. He was on a busy street, watching taxis and other cars go by. His one good eye drifted to his left as he observed a moderately tall apartment building. It looked to be about ten stories tall, and a door man stood outside the main entrance. He briefly wondered why people couldn't open doors all by themselves.

He sat down in his motorcycle seat and wondered why Shien was taking so long in the convenience store. They needed supplies before they headed back to the hideout for the night. It had been raining all night, and both men were wet and miserable. His leather jacket was the only thing that was still dry. He watched the apartment building, people going in and out. As he dragged on his cigarette, he raised an eyebrow at the brunette who had stepped out of the doors. His eyes roamed appreciatively up-and-down the man's figure. He might have been with Shien, but that didn't mean he didn't like to look once in a while. The brunette was dressed casually, not looking like he really intended to go anywhere. Two more men followed him out of the door as Zenon's attention went elsewhere, still waiting. He froze in place as his eye slowly went back to where the brunette was standing. His jaw practically dropped open and his cigarette nearly landed on the ground. He quickly sought refuge behind his motorcycle, lest they see him. He clenched his teeth at the thought of hiding from these people.

_What the hell are they doing here?_

Detectives Sha Gojyo and Genjyo Sanzo stepped up behind the brunette. Zenon watched as they exchanged words before the two detectives left the brunette where he was. He came up from behind his motorcycle to the end of the building to see better. The detectives got into a car parked not too far away. He zeroed in on the brunette, and his one good eye narrowed in confusion. His voice caught in his throat as he struggled to know if he had seen this man before. He stood upright and watched the detectives pull out of the parking lot, the brunette waving at them and smiling as they left. The brunette stood on the sidewalk for a few moments until the car completely disappeared into traffic. Slowly, the man walked back into the building and disappeared through the doors. Zenon stared after him for a moment, his chest felt like it had been filled with ice. As he went back to his motorcycle, Shien was waiting for him, holding a plastic bag.

He looked on in confusion at his friend's face when Zenon came back looking stupefied.

"Zenon, what is it? You look as if you have seen a ghost," he said with a tilt of his head. A breeze went by, and Zenon's attention was captured for a moment as Shien's hair flowed in the breeze. He swallowed the saliva in his throat as he shakily sat down on his motorcycle.

"I think . . . I just did," he replied quietly.

* * *

Hakkai hated to, but he couldn't wait to be alone in his apartment. He had gone through the morning normally, ushering the detectives into the shower while he cooked them breakfast. He made sure their clothes were arranged and that their stomachs were full. He didn't need to go in until much later, and the detectives were reluctant to leave him home alone. He assured them everything would be fine as he kissed them both and saw them to the car. He stood on the sidewalk, watching them pull away and head to the station. He quickly returned to his apartment and went passed the couch to the computer. He booted it up as he grabbed his coat and reached inside the pocket. Pulling out a small flash drive, he plugged it into the computer and impatiently waited for it to load.

Hakkai sat this computer chair and felt the first tendrils of fear coat his belly. A binder was next to the computer, containing all the evidence notes he had collected over the years. He had been with this case since the beginning, he hated that he was kept in the dark. He breathed shakily as he ran his fingers through his hair. He wanted to talk to Kougaiji so bad. There were so many questions he had. His heart was beating fast, sweats building on his brow.

He wanted the truth, and he wanted it now.

* * *

Gojyo and Sanzo discussed things in the car on the way to the station. Slamming the car doors shut, they walked and emerged themselves in the busy life of the station. Sanzo took the lead as they wove through people either in the hallway or some offices. Gojyo peeked his head into his brother's office on the way by but didn't see him sitting in there. They were heading toward the Chief's office when the person they were looking for suddenly showed himself. Kougaiji was walking up the steps from the basement, probably looking for Hakkai.

Both the men approached him, just as he emerged from the door.

"Hakkai hunting?" Sanzo asked first, so unlike him. Kou gave the blond a sneer as he made to go passed him.

"Piss off sunshine, I don't understand what he can see in dribble like you," he growled, voice throaty and a bit raw. Gojyo for now held back his contempt, after all, the other man was still their superior.

"We didn't find you to play games. I need you to answer some questions, now," the red head demanded. Kou turned his back on them as he began to make his way down the hallway.

"Stick to your jobs, I don't have time for this," he said.

"Then make time, it's about Hakkai," Sanzo said before Kou could get too far away. That made the man stop and turn around. His face changed drastically to one of concern as he stomped back up to the detectives.

"What is it, what's wrong? Is Hakkai okay?" he demanded, no longer caring about the detectives. Both detectives were a bit miffed by the change but Gojyo held his exterior calmly.

"What really happen to him? Regarding his sister?" Gojyo asked lowly in case someone was around. Kougaiji tensed up like someone who had been caught in the middle of a robbery. His face was blank as he slowly stepped back away from them, tucking his hands into his pockets.

"What have you heard?" he asked hoarsely, almost hollow. Before Sanzo could open his mouth, a pair of heels could be heard walking down the hallway. All three men turned to see the chief walking toward them.

"My . . . I feel a tense atmosphere. You know I hate having such things in my precinct. Mind telling me what the matter is gentlemen?" Bosatsu commented crossing her arms. Her wild black hair was up in its standard ponytail, her gold earrings seeming larger today. She crossed her arms over her large bust, wearing her usual white blouse with slimming dark pants. Her red heels seemed extra menacing today as she tapped them almost impatiently against the tile of the floor. She raised an eyebrow and waited for an answer.

"Chief . . . " Kougaiji said pathetically, looking strained. Bosatsu picked up right away on his behavior and sighed deeply.

"I see, so it's coming to this has it? I should have expected as much, after all you are guarding Cho Gonou," she said in an almost whimsical way. Sanzo narrowed his eyes at the woman as Gojyo gave her a confused look.

"What are you up to hag?" Sanzo sniped. Kougaiji gave him a sharp look at the insult to the chief.

"Watch your mouth, she is still in command detective," he hissed at the golden haired. Bosatsu only chuckled and waved a manicured nail at the blond.

"Now now, no need to be name-calling. Your dear aunt would be happy to provide you with some answers," she said in a humorous tone. Gojyo and Kougaiji at the same time made a sound between confusion in disbelief.

"You got to be kidding me! She's your aunt?" Gojyo yelled down the hallway, his hands flying upward. Some people stuck their heads out of their offices to see what the commotion was. Bosatsu turned around and gave them a small smile with a wave, signaling everything was okay. She turned back to the three men, two looking stunned and one looking down right pissed off. She sighed deeply and put a hand on her chest.

"Very well, Kougaiji, I think it's time others were led in," she told him with a slightly sad look. Kougaiji stepped toward her in a desperate attempt.

"Why do they have to know? They haven't been on this case for very long! We're so close, and I can't have him finding out the truth yet! He's not ready!" The red head said desperately. Bosatsu silenced him by holding up a hand.

"These detectives care a great deal about Hakkai. If they wish to continue to pursue him, they deserve to know the truth," she said knowingly. Sanzo and Gojyo looked at each other uncomfortably. They didn't think they were that obvious about the relationship they had with the brunette.

"Oh you weren't obvious, heavens no. I'm a rather sharp cookie when I need to be boys. I wasn't made chief for nothing you know," she said. She turned her back on them, per ponytail moving with it. She looked over her shoulder at the three men and beckoned them to follow.

"Follow me, we have much to discuss. What you're about to hear has been top-secret since the beginning of this case. What you choose to do with this information however, is completely up to you. I won't lie; you will be shocked, and you will never see Cho Gonou as the same man ever again," she said almost sadly. Gojyo and Sanzo were not only confused; they were downright stumped.

"What the hell are you talking about? What about Hakkai?" Gojyo asked impatiently. Kougaiji said nothing as he walked past them. He gave them both sharp looks as he stopped just before them.

"I'm warning you, if you ever tell Hakkai about this, I'll kill both of you myself!" He threatened in a nasty hiss. Either Bosatsu didn't hear Kou or chose to ignore it. She continued walking down the hallway expecting them to follow her. Gojyo and Sanzo did reluctantly, eager to know the truth, but at the same time both men would never admit it out loud . . . They were scared. Whether it be for themselves or Hakkai.

* * *

Papers were scattered all over the floor, and the mixture of cloudy skies and hazy rain was making the brunette tired. His hands worked tirelessly though, shifting through documents and clicking through many on his computer. Using pen and paper, he wrote a time line between when the case started until now. All the events he had, all the evidence and the suspects, they were scrambled, not making sense. He began to grow frustrated and wondered if it was him or the file that was wrong. He didn't understand why he felt so scrambled. He couldn't understand why this meant so much to him, he wasn't a detective, he never wanted to be one. Being an evidence clerk was just a job, a job, he was good at and a job he knew would help others behind the scenes.

Going through the station database he had access to the home page and hit a snag somewhere. He didn't remember there ever being a password needed in order to just go through his old files. He narrowed his eyes at it as his brain struggled to think what the password might be. Sitting back in his chair, he looked around his apartment and couldn't remember if he ever required a password. He tried a few, but they were immediately shot down. He covered his green eyes with his hands and ran his fingers frustratingly through his bangs. He gave out a frustrated groan before he banged his hand on the table. Taking a deep breath he decided he needed to get up for a moment and get away from the computer. All the passwords he had tried were in relation to the case, names, places, evidence he had collected . . . Nothing worked, nothing.

He got up and went to his refrigerator, opening it; he took out a beer and opened it. Before Gojyo came along, the beer just sat there in the fridge, he always bought it, but he never went through it fast enough. He now kept a healthy stock of it, along with the little canned coffees Sanzo liked to drink. He stared at the contents of his fridge, not remembering a time when he'd seen it so full. His cabinets were overflowing with snack foods, potato chips, baking goods, and some new ashtrays sat on his table. His apartment changed drastically in just a few short weeks. So much had happened between now and then, he had changed and so had the world around him. The photo he had of Kanan at present sat proudly on the end stand by the couch, Sanzo had set it up right again and left it there.

Hakkai took a sip of his beer and frowned at the taste. It wasn't his brand, but it did calm him slightly. He set it at the table, half drank, and moved to the couch. Staring at his workstation, he grimaced at how messy it looked. He plopped himself at the end of the couch, leaning over the arm toward the picture. He picked it up and brought it to him, smiling at his sister.

"It's all changed so much Kanan. I don't know what to do now. I wish you were here to tell me," he said quietly to the photo. Her smile never wavered as his own grew solemn. He glanced at his old self-standing next to her. His whole motif was much different. His hair was chopped and thicker. He stood taller like someone who carried an air of responsibility. Setting the photo down he thought about how he once was and tried to remember when he started changing. He'd never changed his routine after she died, he kept going to work; he fed himself like it always eaten; he exercised during the winter and whenever he had free time.

He sat back down at the computer and looked at the homepage of the website. He frowned when he noticed some minor differences. He didn't remember it looking so aged. He clicked on another link to see that it was the old homepage, and a new one had been made almost a year ago. He was a little miffed by the differences, so he tried to go back to the page he had been previously on. He had worked most of his career on the single web page; he should have known it inside and out. Clenching his teeth the little password box came open again when he tried to access a certain file.

Think. You've been on this longer than anyone. There has to be a clue.

He didn't think he had made it and not remember the password. Anything and everything he did always have a common root on a computer. He tapped his finger against the keyboard without pressing any buttons. He licked his lips, dry from the beer he had drunk. Giving it another go, he tried to type in some random words.

_Kougaiji_

Access denied.

_Bosatsu_

Access denied.

_Rainy day killer_

Access denied.

Hakkai sighed and wondered if Sanzo or Gojyo's name work. No, it probably wouldn't, why would it?

_Think, think . . . Think!_

His eyes drifted to the photo on his end stand. Tapping his fingers on his thigh, he turned back to the computer. He lifted his hand of his other arm and tried his own name.

_Cho Gonou_

Access denied.

Now he was getting frustrated. Feeling angry and sarcastic he threw his hands in the air.

"All right then, I don't care if I have to stay up all night, I do it any how. Let me just pour the people of my life into your little box, until I get it right!" He yelled at the computer.

_Cho Kanan_

He typed in anger, hitting the entered button.

Access granted.

He stared stunned at the computer as several boxes popped open to the name. His heart suddenly frozen his chest as he made a choking sound.

"W-what?" He gasped. His whole body shook with tremors as files upon files opened up before him. Some were labeled names he couldn't recognize, somewhere the names of people he worked with every day. Familiar faces and photos popped open, but he stopped when his own came open. He stared at his photo, young, maybe a couple of years ago. He must've spent an hour, reading and writing. His hand shook with every name, every date.

His head suddenly hurt and he had to stop when it got too bad. His dreams, all of them came back to him. The nightclub, the child he saved from the car, running through the streets with Kougaiji, the office at the nightclub, all of it. He squeezed his eyes shut when the pain became colossal. He had to stop reading as images flashed before his eyes.

_His sister, smiling at him, worried about him, kissing his cheek as he left out the door for work._

_Dressing in a trench coat, adjusting his tie, Kougaiji smile as he patted his back. _

_Driving a car, Kougaiji next to him explaining something about a case._

_A deep fear, a dead body, his sister crying, whimpers of pains that were not his own. _

_Wind through his hair, a knife in his heart, Kougaiji begging him not to go, begging him to stay._

Hakkai suddenly felt ill, the breakfast he had eaten that morning wasn't settling. He forced a hand over his mouth as his stomach flipped. He stepped away from the computer chair harshly, causing it to fall to the floor. He ran for his bathroom and struggled not to trip on the mat as he came face-to-face with his toilet. He threw up into the bowl, gagging and spitting stomach bile and food. Tears sprung from his eyes as more images assaulted his brain. His body was wracked by an un imaginable pain. He felt like he had just been hit by a car, the childhood scar on his stomach aching horribly. He threw up again into the bowl with a groan and begged any God to make it stop. He rested on his fore head against the seat as he struggled between crying and trying to catch his breath. His limbs shook, and he lost all strength in them. His eyes blurred over as he blinked and tears fell to the floor.

His deep breaths were shaky as he flushed the toilet. He stood and walked to the sink, turning on the tap. Looking at himself, he grew scared of what he saw. He didn't recognize the man in the mirror. He didn't see the weak evidence clerk he'd always known. His eyes seemed brighter as if an epiphany of a lifetime had consumed him. He shook his head as he couldn't think of the man who was looking back at him. It wasn't himself; he knew this. It was as if a stranger had taken control of his body. He walked shakily back to his computer and sat down. He was numb; he was sad, elated, mystified and most of all.

He was angry.

Calming himself, he touched the mouse of his computer and clicked on his photo. Case reports popped up and as he read them, two names kept reoccurring.

"Homura Taishi and Zenon Swasey? A detective and a biker?" he muttered. He delved further into the file and read on. His eyes scanned article after article, newspaper clippings, lost file reports, all of them containing the names of these men. Hakkai tried to think of anything that had been submitted by these men. If Zenon was a detective . . . Then why was he on the suspect list? Is he undercover?

He pushed back from his desk a bit and clicked on his photo again. He studied it and frowned at the way he looked. He seemed worn, a ghost almost. He was wearing a white top; it looked like it was a hospital gown. He read the details underneath and realized that they were the exact symptoms he had when his insomnia was at its worst. Wanting to know more, Hakkai kept searching.

* * *

Gojyo and Sanzo sat in shock in front of Bosatsu's desk. Kougaiji wasn't far away, leaning against the wall near the window with his hand over his eyes. He looked worn and defeated, a man at confession. Bosatsu's face never changed as she told the men everything she knew. Both the detectives were quiet, so quiet it seemed like the office had suddenly become a grave.

"What . . . What the fuck?" Gojyo stammered out. The chief ignored the curse word as she sat down heavily at her desk.

"Yes, it is a lot to take in, but understand; this information was withheld for good reasons," she said, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair.

"But why?" The red head asked numbly, desperately. Sanzo clenched his fists on the chair arms and suddenly turned an angry gaze at Kougaiji.

"You knew. You knew this whole time?" He accused. Kougaiji looked up at him with nearly red-rimmed eyes.

"I had to; it was the only way to keep him alive," he said in a hoarse voice. Bosatsu nodded her head in agreement.

"Yes, it was the only way to ensure that Cho Gonou remain alive. He is still a vital part in this investigation; he holds the key to some very important details. Unfortunately, we don't know where he put them," she said.

"We have a suspect but we were unable at the time to prove it was him. Gonou was the only man who had ever figured it out," Kougaiji said, looking away with a frown.

"But why keep it to himself?" Sanzo asked carefully with narrowed eyes.

"He did most of his investigating personally. He felt that without police influence he could get much more done on his own," the chief said, crossing her long legs behind her desk.

Sanzo didn't stop glaring at Kougaiji, and Gojyo finally looked up from the floor.

"How long . . . Has he been like this?" He asked in disbelief, blinking his red eyes. Bosatsu un crossed her arms as she looked to Kougaiji.

"We're nearing well nigh five years since it happened. The case has been alive for virtually six."

Both Sanzo and Gojyo looked at each other. They remained quiet until Bosatsu spoke.

"So . . . Will you abandon him now? Knowing what he is? A former shadow of his real self?" she asked the men with an almost teasing look on her face. Both detectives spoke at once, and it became muddled. They both stopped and finally, Sanzo spoke.

"Why hasn't he . . . Remembered anything?" the blond began.

"We don't know. We were hoping with the passage of time he would recall events, that is what our psychologists told us. Because of all the evidence, he gathered but never shared, we were forced back to the square one. For some reason, he at no time shared what he had discovered in the beginning. He . . . Perished before we could ask," the chief explained. Kougaiji by the window remained quiet but hard faced.

"I can't ever let him know. It's better this way for him . . . Living in this bliss. I've kept him in a lie; I know. Even so, I did it because . . . Because he was my partner . . . "

After hours of reading, Hakkai was more the wiser. Pho

* * *

tos and articles finally added up on his time line. He didn't know to whom these facts belonged to, but they would have been very helpful more toward the beginning of the case. At least, three suspects he had on his list had been crossed off, and only two remained. The two names, Homura and Zenon, for some reason, were typed in the margins as a side note on almost every file he had. He shook his head in disbelief and wiped the sweat on his brow away with sweaty fingers. Hakkai mumbled to himself as he wrote and read the words. When he reached the end of the file, he stopped.

The file was labeled . . .

_"My last will. I'm sorry."_

He frowned and with a careful hand, clicked on the file. A lengthy letter came up, looking typed by hand and not an article at all. It was almost two pages long and had a separate file attached. He started at the top and began to work his way down.

_To whomever reads this . . . _

_I'm sorry I was not strong enough in the beginning, too many people relied on me, and I failed them. I failed myself most of all. . . _

_I started off strong. I thought I was the best, maybe my cockiness is what got me in the end. I loved my life; I did. I had friends and family that I loved and in turn loved me. However, the one I loved the most; my cockiness cost me, her . . . _

_I know who did it, but I turned into a coward after her death. I lost all of my strength. It zapped all of my ambitions, and my will to live. If only I had spoken up sooner, she would be alive . . . And so would I._

_I hope all the evidence I have provided may help someone else. I am no longer strong. I am ashamed to call myself a detective._

_To whomever reads this, please, continue where I have failed. I was a coward. I chose the easy way out, all I can hope for is that I will be joining her in the next life. Everything you need is at the end of this letter. _

_By the time anyone reads this, I will already be dead. _

_Good luck and . . . _

_Kougaiji . . . Kanan . . . I loved you both so much._

_I'm sorry I failed._

_Signed: Cho Gonou_

Hakkai sat stunned as he read the letter. His head was pounding; his heart threatened to tear from his chest on its own. He pushed back from the computer but was unable to catch his breath.

"No, no that can be! What the hell is going on! That's not me! I have no . . . I have no memory of . . . But why?" He rambled on. He looked at the computer as if it had wronged him. Shakily, he pulled back to the computer and opened the file attached to the letter.

A picture came up and he gaped, reading the information that followed it. His green eyes filled with fear until they slowly went dark with hatred.

He pushed back from the computer again, numb. Like a zombie, he walked to the kitchen and up too a familiar drawer. Pulling it open, he reached inside and pulled out a well-known tool. The gun gleaned in the kitchen light, his eyes roaming over it from the barrel to butt. He opened the chamber and glanced inside. All the bullets were still there; Gojyo and Sanzo had forgotten to check. He snapped the closed with a flick of his wrist. Setting it on the island, he went to his room to change his clothes.

Thunder clashed outside.

* * *

Sanzo and Gojyo walked out of Bosatsu's office and out of the station. Both men said nothing as they got into the car and slammed the doors closed. They sat in silence, rain pattering against the roof of the car. Finally, Gojyo licked his dry lips and set his fore-head on the dashboard in front of him, putting his hands in his hair and squeezing.

"Jesus Christ, what the fuck kind of messed up world is this?" He wanted to shout. Sanzo remained quiet but he slowly turned his head toward Gojyo and took a breath.

"This was never part of academy training. Are we? . . Are we supposed to tell him? Or do we . . . Keep him in the dark?" He asked slumping against his seat. Gojyo lifted his head and stared out the window. All the information had finally sunk in and he was reeling from the blow. His breathing was unsteady, and his heart clenched in pain. He clenched his teeth, and he growled and frustration.

"How could they do that to him? He was one of their own . . . They gave him a fake life, waiting for him to wake up from some living coma. They're all a bunch of sick fucks. I bet they enjoyed this, like a lab experiment!" He almost shouted, pounding his fist on the dashboard. Sanzo remained quiet as he closed his violet eyes and sighed.

"We have to tell him, it's only right," he said softly. Gojyo looked up from his bent-over position to the blond.

"And then what? You think he'll want to continue living in the lie? Christ, he might . . . He might . . . Shit . . . I don't know what to do . . . I don't know what to do . . . " He said on a whisper. The blond started the car and the heater immediately came on, warming their bones.

Both men sat in silence as the car heated up. The events of that morning were surprising and definitely life changing. As they were lost in thought and guilt, the blond spoke first.

"You love him too right?" Sanzo suddenly asked him, voice surprisingly softer than normal. Gojyo gave him a small smile as he leaned against his own seat. He gave a light chuckle as he reached out and tilted one of the heaters vents in his direction, feeling the warm air rid him of his chill.

"Yeah, I do. I love him a lot, and even though you don't say it out loud, I know you do too," the red head said, looking out the window of the cruiser.

"We've certainly moved on from the fuck buddy perspective," he mumbled the last part more to himself. Sanzo closed his eyes, but he tilted his head a bit in thought.

"To think, all I've ever wanted from you was just sex. What the fuck happened?" Sanzo asked more to himself, touching his forehead in thought.

"Ahhh, Sanzo . . . Do you love me too?" Gojyo suddenly asked, voice light. Sanzo was caught off guard by the question, and he looked at the red head strangely. Gojyo gave a small coy smile as he batted his eyelashes. Sanzo growled at him and punched his arm, causing the other man to wince.

"Relax! Shit! I was half joking! You're so brutal!" Gojyo yelled, rubbing his sore arm and grumbling.

"In some strange shitty way, yes I do love you. However, only because Hakkai opened my eyes shit head. Otherwise, I would have been perfectly content as just being your fuck friend," the blond almost hissed at him, looking away. Gojyo raised an eyebrow as he continued to rub his arm. Sanzo wouldn't look at him as he stared at the steering wheel, red in the face either from embarrassment or the heat of the car.

"Yeah yeah, I love you also Blondie. It's amazing what a cute brunette can do to you, seriously. It's a big circle of love it seems, now we just have to get the balls to tell him," Gojyo smiled softly, closing his eyes. The blond narrowed his purple eyes as he turned slightly to look at the other male.

"Then, lets go back to the apartment for now. Do something to take our minds off of this mess, maybe . . . Just take Hakkai out of the apartment. Try to figure out if we should tell him or not. Do you think we should? I can't just . . . Leave Hakkai in the dark anymore. He has been through so much already," Sanzo said, running his fingers through his blond hair. Gojyo took a deep breath through his nose.

"Yeah, shit, lets go back. I only want to see him for now. Just want to be in a familiar place for once," the red head sighed.

"A place where things make sense for once," Sanzo added, starting the car up all the way. They pulled out of the station and headed for Hakkai. Both of them looking for the familiarity of heading for home.

* * *

**TBC**


	26. This means goodbye

**Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki or any of the characters.**

**Chapter 26: This means goodbye**

* * *

Sanzo and Gojyo slammed their car doors and made their way into Hakkai's building. Taking out his spare key, Sanzo slipped it in the knob and opened the door. They stepped in, kicking off their shoes and letting the familiar feeling of soft carpet come up between their toes.

"Hakkai?" Gojyo called out into the apartment.

They were met with silence. Glancing at the kitchen clock, Sanzo narrowed his eyes when it only read about eleven in the morning. Hakkai wasn't due in until twelve thirty. Walking further into the living room, they nearly jumped when a pad of thunder caught them off guard. It was too quiet, and it was making them extremely uneasy.

"What the? Where is he?" Gojyo asked. Sanzo didn't answer him as he headed for the bathroom. Opening the door, he found no brunette, thinking maybe he was in the shower and didn't hear them over the stream of water. He turned back to look at Gojyo, who had made his way into the kitchen.

"I don't like this; I don't like it at all," Sanzo muttered.

* * *

Cars zoomed by, threatening to splash innocent bystanders simply walking on the sidewalks of the city. One male walked slowly, the tails of his trench sweeping behind him. He had no umbrella, letting the rain soak into him like an oversized sponge. He showed no emotion to anyone as he passed them, getting strange looks from both his face and the lack of an umbrella. The piece of paper clenched in his hand had been long since been crumbled in his grip. He finally stopped on one street and looked across the road to a residential neighborhood. Thunder crashed the heavens, but he didn't even flinch. He lifted the crumpled paper face level and un-crumbled it. His eyes quickly scanned his own writing before he threw the paper to the ground, watching as a current of water carried it away. His eyes went to a little house across from him, the off-white tile stained from years of age. It was a tiny two-level home, the front yard a small fenced in the alcove from the road. The grass surprisingly was green but long and extremely uncut. Some of the shutters threatened to fall off and rattled noisily as the wind blew by. Water went down his face and clouded his glasses in rivets. The blinds and curtains were drawn, making it impossible to see inside the house. The driveway was empty as his eyes observed the small parking garage that looked as if the door to it was broken. It was heavy neglected with years of wear and tear.

However, it was the right address, the very one he wanted.

Hakkai took a deep breath and reached into his pocket. He took out his cell phone and pressed the speed dial.

* * *

Gojyo stopped in the middle of the living room as he felt the inside of his pocket vibrate. He picked out his cell phone and read the screen. He frowned when Hakkai's name scrolled above the numbers. He pressed the button and immediately answered it. Sanzo walked up behind him eyes narrowed and confused.

"Hakkai? Hey man, where are you, did you leave for work yet?" Gojyo asked him out right. It was silent on the other end, nothing but the sound of rain fall and traffic.

"Put it on speaker phone," Sanzo demanded, setting a rough hand on Gojyo's shoulder. Gojyo shot him a glare and shrugged off his hand. He brought the phone away from his head and pressed the speaker.

"Hakkai, what the hell is going on?" Sanzo asked. There was still a moment of silence in which all they could hear was more rain.

_"Ah, good . . . You're both there. I'm sorry if I left you a bit miffed. I'm afraid I had an urgent errand to run,"_ He said, voice strange.

"Errand?" Gojyo asked, eyeing the phone.

_"Yes . . . I'm afraid it couldn't wait," _Hakkai explained. Sanzo and Gojyo looked at each other for a moment, communicating through their eyes. Sanzo didn't show it but the lack of emotion in Hakkai's voice was scaring him.

"Look Hakkai, that can wait. We need to . . . We need to see you . . . We need to talk to you man, it's really important," Gojyo said in an urging manner. They were met with more silence for a moment.

_"Talk to me? You mean about who I used to be? Detective Cho Gonou?" _The brunette said outright. Sanzo and Gojyo startled at that. They were all silent, both men from shock and the other from Hakkai waiting for them to say something.

"What? How did you—?" Gojyo tried to get out. He stared dumbly at the phone while Sanzo, more collected, spoke.

"How did you find out?" Sanzo asked, voice slightly quiet. Hakkai gave a chuckle, but no humor came from it.

_"It just sort of . . Happened really. I was going through some things, and I realized . . . It was all so familiar. It was nothing I had ever seen, but it felt like I had put it there . . . And I did,"_ Hakkai said.

"Where are you?" Sanzo asked urgently.

_"...I can't tell you that right now. But I found . . . I found out who the Rainy Day Killer is. I know . . . Who killed my sister Kanan,"_ He said quietly. There was a thunder clash, and the echo of it could be heard on the other side of the phone. Sanzo clenched his teeth as Gojyo handed him the phone and suddenly went to the drawer in the kitchen. The red head threw it open and started going through it, throwing things to the floor. He looked back up at Sanzo with a look of what could be described as pure horror.

The gun was gone and so was all the extra bullets.

"Hakkai! Don't be stupid, get your ass back here! Whatever you plan on doing; it's not worth it!" The blond nearly yelled. Hakkai seemed to ignore the words as he rambled on.

_"All the evidence you need is on my computer. I left it on my desk top. Give it to the Chief and Kougaiji, it's the very evidence I neglected to give them so long ago . . . "_ He drifted off.

For a brief moment, both detective's eyes shot to the computer but immediately went back to the phone.

_"I don't know what will happen from here. I'm not sure what I will find or even how I will go about this. Even so, I know it is something I have to do. I'm sorry . . . About everything,"_ Hakkai said solemnly.

"Hakkai, please tell us where you are! We can get this guy. We can get him together!" Gojyo almost begged. But Hakkai didn't hear him, or simply chose not to hear. Sanzo handed Gojyo the phone and raced over to the computer. He woke it up from the screen saver and rapidly scanned the desktop icons, finding a file labeled evidence in the corner he hurriedly clicked on it. His purple eyes scanned the evidence quickly, and his teeth clenched at what he read. At the same time, he was still listening to Hakkai talk on the phone.

_"Thank you . . . Thank you both . . . For caring so much about me . . . "_

Sanzo stopped tapping on the computer keys as nothing but the sound of Gojyo's heavy breathing could be heard. The blood was roaring in Sanzo's ears as he struggled to kick his brain and body back into motion. His fingers moved faster as he opened the Internet and quickly booted up his work mail account.

"Hakkai!" Gojyo shouted. Sanzo's head whipped around at the frantic yell.

_"I wish I could have seen both of your faces one last time. But I guess in both regards, this life and my other one . . . I was just a coward. Please . . . Please take care of one another. I..."_

"Got it!" Sanzo said at last. He quickly clicked on the folder and sent it to the Chief via email.

_"I love you both . . . Thank you . . . For everything,"_ Hakkai finished. The line went dead as both men stared in horror at the phone.

"Call Kougaiji! Now!" Sanzo shouted.

* * *

Hakkai steeled his heart as tears threatened to spill over in his eyes. He snapped his phone shut and off as he stared at the house across the road from him. He didn't know what could happen at this point, but even if his timing was off, he wanted them both to know how he felt about them.

Thunder continued to resonate over his head as he felt for the gun on the inside of his jacket. He crossed the street, avoiding cars as he stepped through the rusting fenced in yard. There was no car in the drive way, so he took a chance and walked right up to the door.

What was he going to do if he came face to face with this man? Shoot him outright? Demand answers? Tell him to turn himself in? Thinking about it, Hakkai realized only one of them would be leaving this situation alive if someone hesitated. Walking onto the front porch, he was careful to walk softly, the wood old and creaking under every step. He approached the front door, but it was solid wood, no windows. He turned his head slightly, and the front window had the curtains drawn. There was just enough space though, that he could see inside into the living room. Crouching down he took off his glasses and looked in. It was small, holding a couch in the middle and a rocking chair right next to the window. A pair of stairs led upwards to the second story, and the kitchen was just to the right of it. A door, assuming to be the bathroom was closed near another window. The brunette backed up and tried the door, of course it was locked. Thinking he bit his lip and decided to try another way. There was no way he could climb to the second story, so he tried the backyard.

He was soaking wet as he tracked through the long soaked grass, his shoes already flooding with mud. He had come across a side door, but it was locked as well. Moving to the back he looked up at the kitchen window. It was higher than he planned it to be. Looking around, Hakkai saw an old toaster over, long broken next to the trash cans. He grabbed the large device and situated it under the window. He climbed up and dubbed it suitable enough for him to finally reach the window. He got lucky when it was unlocked, but it was old wood that had trouble sliding upward. He used the strength in his arms and pushed up as hard as he could.

_Come on! Give in dammit!_

Hakkai clenched his teeth as water dripped from his hair into his eyes. He pushed up once more, and the window gave. It slid up and Hakkai jumped, swinging his leg onto the sill. He was careful not to knock anything off the counter as he landed. He couldn't help his muddy shoes as they stained the floor in mud.

Looking around, he swept his wet brown hair from his eyes. The house looked smaller than it did from the outside. The living room wasn't any bigger than his own, not including the kitchen. The curtains were drawn and the room smelled like wet mold and dust. Hakkai ran his finger over a near by picture, and he grimaced at the greyness that coated his finger. Taking a breath, he stepped further in, his footsteps creaking on the floor boards. The furniture looked worn and as if no one had sat in it in a while. He coughed at the amount of dust as he walked more toward the stairs and narrowed his eyes. A picture hung just above the stairs. A beautiful woman smiled down at him, looking frail and thin in her white wedding dress. The picture looked old, the outer frame starting to take that brown curl most did when framed too long. The man next to her was smiling brilliantly, his teeth showing against a young and smooth face. They held hands for the camera, and Hakkai couldn't help but let his eyes darken as he stared at it. Strengthening his resolve, he felt for his gun and walked up the stairs to the second floor.

* * *

After they had gotten off the phone with Kougaiji, they had been ordered to return to the station. They sped over in Sanzo's car, dodging traffic and ignoring angry yells. Sanzo drove erratically and practically peeled into the parking lot. Not bothering to park straight, they slammed their doors shut and blinked at the Harley sitting on the sidewalk.

"Isn't that . . . ?" Gojyo managed to ask in his rush.

"Zenon's bike. What the hell is it doing here?" Sanzo said. They both ignored the bike and ran inside the building. They headed straight for the Chief's office and didn't bother knocking. As soon as they entered, the Chief was already on her computer, Kougaiji right behind her shoulder reading along.

"My god . . . " He uttered, eyes wide. The two detectives eyes looked over at the corner where Zenon and Shien stood. Out of their usual street wear, both were wearing fine suits, much like themselves. Zenon smirked at them while Shien only gave a nod of his head.

"Hello detectives, we meet again," Zenon said with a wave of his hand. Both detectives blanched for a moment until the Chief opened her mouth.

"Zenon and Shien have been working undercover for years on the Rainy Day case. It was vital that as many people as possible were left out of the loop," She said, not moving her eyes from her computer. Kougaiji looked up at them then.

"Is this everything? Did Hakkai leave this?" He asked urgently. Both detectives nodded, and Zenon had a puzzled look on his face.

"Hakkai? Hakkai . . . ? Detective Cho Gonou Hakkai?" He asked them with a narrowed eye.

"The same," The Chief answered.

"I thought he killed himself five years ago?" Zenon said, standing straight. His partner Shien let a crease hit his own brow.

"He is still alive, for reasons I will be happy to share later. Right now, we have to get to him before he does something stupid," The Chief explained. She stood from the desk and wrote an address down on a piece of paper. She handed it to Kougaiji and nodded as he took it from her.

"Hakkai will be at the suspect's house by now, probably inside. I need a dispatch to get there before something major happens. Go now!" She urged. Without needing to be told twice, Kou ran out the door without sparing anyone a glance. Sanzo and Gojyo turned their attention back to the Chief.

"Who is Hakkai after exactly? Who did he find out was the Rainy Day killer before anyone else?" Gojyo asked in urgency. The Chief clicked on something on her monitor and then spun it around. Everyone in the room boggled except Zenon, who only growled.

"I knew it! That son of a bitch!" He yelled, turning and punching the wall. Sanzo and Gojyo stared at the picture on the monitor in disbelief.

"He's been under our noses the whole damn time? How could Hakkai not remember him? They practically came face to face almost every day!" Sanzo was the one shouting this time. The Chief sat down and shook her head.

"The trauma and injuries' Detective Gonou received from his suicide attempt were very grave. No doubt his entire mind was altered from his attempted suicide and finding out who his sister's killer was. I don't know how he couldn't remember, but it's not important right now. We need to get to him," She said. They talked no more as everyone grabbed their coats and raced to their cars. Sanzo and Gojyo were getting impatient to know of Hakkai's safety as Zenon and Shien got into their own cruiser. Kougaiji, miles ahead filled in the dispatch as he bit his lip in worry over his childhood friend.

_Hakkai...Please be careful._

* * *

TBC


	27. Vanishing into the abyss

**Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki or the characters.**

**Chapter 27**

**Vanishing into the abyss**

**Getting close! Almost done!**

* * *

The second floor was just as messy as the first. The hallway leading from the stairs was tiny, illuminated only by a little window at the top of the stairs. All the doors were closed as Hakkai watched a dust ball float before his eyes. He walked further down the hallway and cringed as the floor squeaked under the only wood. He stopped suddenly when he heard shuffling somewhere. His senses reacted as he reached inside his coat for his gun, fisting it. The shuffling got louder and Hakkai could hear his heart beat in his skull. Walking slowly to the end of the hall, he blinked when he heard crying. Carefully, Hakkai approached the door at the end and stuck his hand on the knob. Someone on the other side was crying, muffled with a hitch of breath. Hakkai quickly swung the door opened and preparing for the worst, aimed his gun.

He stared when the person sitting on the floor jumped and let out a loud sob. The room held nothing but a bed and a dresser. Hakkai looked to the person on the floor and their condition. It was a young boy, no older possibly than Goku. His hands were handcuffed to one of the bed posts as he was forced to sit on the cold and hard floor. The boy's breathing became rapid as he stared at Hakkai with large green watery eyes, mouth gagged by a scarf. His brown hair was a mess, sweat making it look greasy. His feet were bare, and he wore nothing but a tank top and some pajama bottoms like he was taken from his bed. He shook all over and Hakkai quickly scanned the room before he knelt before the boy. His wrists were badly bruised as if he had been fighting against the restraints.

Hakkai sat in front of him and put away his gun. The boy freaked out and made a loud yell against the cloth in his mouth.

"Shhhh, it's okay; it's okay," Hakkai soothed, reaching up. He removed the bandana from the boy's mouth, letting him breathe freely. His breath came out in sobs as Hakkai observed the handcuffs.

"Are you hurt?" Hakkai asked him anxiously, still eyeing the cuffs. The boy shook his head as he struggled to catch his breath.

"N-no . . . N-o . . . " He said brokenly. Hakkai nodded and wiped some hair away from the boy's eyes.

"My name is Hakkai. How long have you been here?" He asked again. The boy licked his dry lips and sat up a bit on his legs.

"D-days . . . Two days . . . B-but h-he–he- hasn't been b-back since," The boy stuttered. Hakkai couldn't get the cuffs to budge.

"Do you know where he keeps the keys?" He asked. The boy blinked before he looked around the room.

"H-he took them with him, I think," He whispered. Hakkai took his gun back out and took off the safety. Being wary, he aimed the gun away from them both and to the wall. The chains were wrapped around the bedpost so Hakkai had to be cautious. He prayed the shot wouldn't be loud as he pulled the trigger. The gun went off, and it made them both jump. The chain on the cuffs broke as the bullet went sailing through it and into the wall. Hakkai put the gun away and helped the other to his feet.

"What's your name?" He asked the boy. The other moved some hair away from his eyes and Hakkai was surprised to see how brilliantly green they were.

"Yuri, my name is Yuri," He said in a shaky voice. Hakkai nodded and gently pulled him to the bedroom door.

"We need to get out of here, can you walk?"

The boy nodded and slowly moved with Hakkai. He exited the bedroom as he carefully helped the other along. The rain was pounding outside, rivulets coming down the windows. A loud clash of thunder made the jump, and it seemed to go on. Hakkai narrowed his eyebrows as he quickly looked out the nearest window. His breath caught, and the grip on the boy grew tighter. Yuri looked at him in panic as green eyes widened.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Yuri asked. Hakkai clenched his teeth as he watched a car pull into the driveway.

"He's home. He came back," The brunette breathed. Both froze as the sudden slamming of the front door alerted them. Neither of them dared to move, Hakkai knew the old creaky floor would give them away. Footsteps downstairs moved what sounded like to the kitchen and the sudden turning on of a television. The loud noise blared from the first floor.

_I could use that..._

The television was turned up louder and Hakkai took advantage of it. Slowly, he moved them both down the hallway to the bathroom. The boy in his arms shook uncontrollably, and Hakkai grabbed the sides of his face to wake him back into reality. Yuri blinked rapidly as tears threatened to fill his eyes.

"I need you to listen closely to me Yuri. I'm going to try to get you out of here, but we need to be quiet. And when I say to run, you run. Don't look back and just keep running, get help, okay?" Hakkai said. Yuri shakily nodded and blinked back the moisture.

"But what about you?" He asked shakily. Hakkai smiled softly and smoothed back the frightened boy's hair from his watering eyes.

"I'll be fine. I promise," He said. They both froze when they heard someone coming up the stairs. Hakkai quickly but carefully shut the bathroom door and took out his gun. The man's steps could be heard coming down the hallway and Hakkai prayed he went straight into his room and not detour it to the bathroom. There was a bathroom downstairs, and Hakkai prayed that he had used that one before coming up the stairs. The steps went past the door and Hakkai's breathing evened out. He heard the bedroom door down the hall open, and he took a chance.

"What the–" The man in the bedroom doorway grunted.

Hakkai had Yuri's arm as they burst from the bathroom. Yuri only stumbled once before Hakkai dragged him down the stairs at a breakneck speed. The man behind them gaped in surprise, but the brunettes didn't linger to see his reaction of them fleeing.

"CHO GONOU!" The man shouted behind them. Hakkai bit his lip as his name was called in a roar. He made it down the stairs to the living room as thundering steps resonated behind them from the upstairs. His adrenaline pumped as he heard Yuri's whimper of fear. Hakkai ripped open the front door and nearly threw the poor boy through it.

"RUN YURI!" He yelled to the boy. It was pouring out, and the poor boy had no shoes as he booked it down the sidewalk and to the street, only looking back once. Hakkai raised his gun and turned just as the man descended the stairs. Hakkai held his ground with the gun and swallowed back the nausea that threatened to surface from the combination of adrenaline and fear. The man looked at him, eyes intense and angry. Hakkai gave him his own look and steeled himself. Not caring what could happen to him, Hakkai pulled the trigger on his gun.

_CLICK_

Hakkai panicked when the trigger didn't move.

_It's jammed!_

He looked from the gun to the man, but it was too late. Taking the opportunity, the man came forward and backhanded Hakkai into the kitchen table. The gun slid across the floor as Hakkai's glasses flew from his face. The brunette grunted as his side caught on the wood, and the wind was knocked from his lungs. Before he could recover, something hard came down on his head and shattered to pieces. Fragments of a kitchen chair flew all over the floor as his head hit the tile, the room spinning around him. Hakkai blinked a couple of times, but it did no good. Everything was turning black as a pair of wet shoes stood in front of him. As much as he tried, Hakkai couldn't focus on the man's face. All he could see was cool calm eyes staring down at him in suppressed rage.

"The boy got away, but you weren't so lucky," His deep voice chuckled. Hakkai urged his body to react, but before he could, a hard boot came down and got him in the forehead. Tiny beads of blood dripped from the dent in this forehead as he passed out completely. The man moved quickly, grabbing Hakkai's ankle and dragging him toward the stairs that led to the basement.

* * *

TBC


	28. I remember why I forgot

**Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki or any of the characters.**

**Chapter 28**:** I remember why I forgot**

* * *

Groaning, the brunette woke up, his shoulders aching. Blinking several times he frowned as he took in his surroundings. Licking his dry lips, Hakkai struggled to remember how he got here.

"Yuri!" He suddenly said. Hakkai looked around frantically but calmed when he remembered Yuri had gotten away. His wrists were tied behind his back as he leaned forward in his chair. The cement floor was cold against his now bare feet. Looking around, he saw he was in what appeared to be a basement. A set of stairs on the right lead to the living room and nothing but gray light came from the small window above his head. Blinking into the darkness, Hakkai scowled at the man calmly sitting in a set up lawn chair across from him. Hakkai could think of only one thing to say to this insane individual.

"Why?" He asked, in suppressed rage. The man tilted his head but otherwise gave a sigh.

"You're the third person to ask me that this week," He drawled. Hakkai watched him get out of his chair before he folded it neatly and set it against the stone wall of the furnace. Thunder crashed outside as the rain beat against the small window above Hakkai's head.

"Then you must have an answer by now," The brunette growled out. The man shrugged and approached the brunette. Hakkai held his ground even as a small amount of fear settled in his belly. This had been the man who killed his sister. This was the man who broke into his home and raped him. It was only a few hours ago that Hakkai had remembered everything and figured out this man's identity. As the man stood over him, Hakkai noticed how worn the other looked. He still had on his fine shirt, but the shoulders were soaked from the rain. Greasy black hair flowed from behind his ears but stuck up in the similar fashion that Hakkai had seen Sanzo wear.

Homura Taishi . . .

"Only God can lead me closer to the answer," He said with a small smile. The look was creepy as it made the man's cheek bones grow larger. Hakkai steeled himself as mismatched eyes bore into him. Reaching up, a pale cream-colored hand smoothed back across his cheek and Hakkai struggled not to flinch at the contact. It made his own skin crawl. Facing forward and ignoring the hand, Hakkai spoke.

"How did you hide for so long? Surely, someone at the station besides me suspected you," The brunette said. Hakkai knew he needed to bide his time, even if he died here, Yuri would be sure to let the police know who held him captive.

"Sadly, you were the only one with enough intelligence to succeed. However, when you got too close, I needed you to back off. You had discovered who I was, and I needed to make you pay. Lucky for me, your weak heart took you in the end. You jumped off the Plaza Street business building in an attempt to commit suicide. You didn't die, which was a great surprise may I say, but it was funny to interact with you despite you knowing who I was. It was so adorable," He finished with a purr.

Hakkai's heart was beating a mile a minute. He struggled against his bindings as his hands began to grow numb. He snarled though as he attempted to kick his assailant away from his chair, the man was far too close.

"So you came to the basement that day to take what you needed from my files? You tried to take them to stay hidden?" The brunette simply stated. Homura made a face and ran long fingers through his hair, mussing it up.

"But that prick blond detective had to walk in on us. I wasn't planning on taking anything. I just wanted to see if I could jog your memory."

"So you are the one who broke into the basement!" Hakkai hissed. Turning his head sideways, it almost seemed like Homura was distracted with his own thoughts.

"I needed that file, but I couldn't find it. Bosatsu wouldn't trust anyone else with the list, so I knew you had it. It doesn't matter anyway, turns out she was hiding things from you also, am I right?" He seemed to sneer. Hakkai felt his blood boil as he fought against his restraints.

"You killed her! You killed Kanan! My twin! My sister! All those years, everyone lied to me! You made me forget who I was!" Hakkai yelled into the small basement. Homura pulled back, and his smiling face dropped.

"You were nosy. You needed a lesson. How could I carry on with you knowing? I could test either your vengeance, or prey on your weak heart. I gambled and in the end, I won, I tasted her . . . And then I got to taste you." Hakkai almost fell back in his chair when the man swiftly approached him. He slammed his hands on either side of Hakkai's hips and gripped the edges of the chair. He came close, and Hakkai could smell the other's breath. He had clearly been drinking. Hakkai leaned back as far as the chair allowed him to.

"It's a shame you weren't awake when I violated you. I would have preferred it really . . . But I had to stay hidden. You thought you were clever, sneaking into the club in your little disguise. Nevertheless, to anyone who knows you, your face was easy to spot. Did Chin Yisou fall for you? Did you get what you needed? I doubt it; the man was just a pawn, killing him did nothing for me," He said. Hakkai relaxed a fraction as the man pulled back. Green eyes glared as he was suddenly reminded of his rape.

"You must be proud, taking advantage of me like that," Hakkai mentioned. The man shrugged.

"I could have killed you. Gutted you on your own bed for someone to find. Kougaiji maybe, I would have reveled in his grief, that fool . . . " He hissed. He turned his back on Hakkai for a moment. He walked over toward his worktable and reached over it into the cabinet. Hakkai felt his blood run cold as the man pulled out a long knife from the cabinet.

"Do you remember what I said to you before you passed out that night?" Homura abruptly asked. Hakkai's breath instantaneously became deeper, as he struggled to stay calm. He also tried to recall the words said to him on that night.

"As I recall . . . I said that I needed a reason to keep going now. I need to give you a reason to keep living Cho Hakkai," He repeated. He turned back to the brunette and tilted his head, crossing his arms with the knife gleaming in the small light of the basement. Hakkai struggled in his chair, but it was no use; the bindings would not give.

"I don't remember you stabbing your victims," Hakkai said hoarsely. Fear gripped him, but he did everything he could to fight it. Homura smiled and held up the knife.

"No, I usually strangle them. I enjoyed seeing the horror on their face as they died."

"You never answered my question, why? What did these people ever do to you?" The brunette nearly pleaded. Homuralooked thoughtful for a moment as he approached the brunette. Hakkai leaned back as the pointed edge of the knife stuck close to his face. Homura didn't cut him, but he ran the edge down his cheek before he suddenly dropped it back at his side.

"You saw the wedding picture in my living room didn't you?" Homura asked him. Hakkai carefully nodded, not breaking eye contact.

"I was married. I met my wife Rinrei when we were very young. I was happy; she was the only happiness that kept me going to work every day, to come home and see her smiling face," He said, closing his eyes. Hakkai felt his chest tighten as the words reminded him terribly of his sister.

"She was murdered in a back alley like a dog. Raped, beaten . . . Stripped down for the world to see what that terrible man did to her!" Homura shouted. Hakkai leaned backwards as Homura wildly started to flail about the knife, lost in his own world and staring like a mad man every which way around the room.

"I begged the police to help me! They never listened! They didn't even try! Useless bastards!" He shouted. He calmed down somewhat and looked at Hakkai as if he just noticed that he was in the room.

"So for years I make the police look like idiots. I worked on the inside and started killing anyone with a relative in the police department. It didn't matter anymore. Man . . . Woman . . . I killed them all. And when just killing didn't bring enough pain, I raped them before they died," He said. He approached Hakkai again and tilted his head, his black hair covering up one of his eyes.

"I walked that damn station everyday watching them run around like chickens. The public stopped believing they were safe, and the department felt the pressure from the city to find me. They lost funding; people quit, and I sent the police chief into a rapid suicide. And then . . . Bosatsu came along . . . Along with you and that insufferable Kougaiji!"

Hakkai remained quiet and listened.

"I no longer had the free reign. Everyone was getting close, even my own partner was starting to turn against me, so I killed his wife and child and framed him. I was going crazy, like the walls were caving in, I began to kill more and more!" He went on. He calmed down and looked at the floor, seeming beaten and tired.

"Killing gave me the incentive to live, to show the world the cruelty that I was dealt. You were the only one who wouldn't quit. I watched you, every day, being lied to by the Chief and Kougaiji, and I realized . . . No one knows how to show compassion even to those they hold close. It was sickening how much you remained unaware . . . I thought you were just like me . . . " He said quietly.

* * *

Sanzo hit the gas as their sirens blazed into the rain clouded air. Gojyo was gripping his seatbelt so hard that his knuckles turned white. His eyes never left the road as windshield wipers worked frantically against the fog on the glass.

"Stupid rain!" He cursed under his breath. He reached over and turned off the heat, switching it to air conditioning and aiming it against the window. Just as he pulled back, something caught his red eyes in the middle of the road.

"Sanzo! In the street!" Gojyo pointed, putting a hand on the blond's shoulder. Sanzo grunted and slammed on the brakes as a young man stumbled in the middle of the road, wet and nearly tripping. He had no shoes, and he looked severely fatigued and nervous. Sanzo stopped the car just as the youth fell to his knees in the mud.

"H-help . . Help . . . " The boy called out weakly, barely heard over the rain. Gojyo and Sanzo got out of the car and the blond grabbed his cell phone. Gojyo blinked into the rain fall as the boy barely could stand up.

"Hey kid, what the hell?" Gojyo said, taking in the boy's appearance. He blinked in confusion when he saw the green eyes and brown hair. The boy took one look at their car as recognition flowed into his eyes. He frantically grabbed Gojyo's jacket and looked up into his face.

"P-Please . . I-I was held a prisoner in the house down the road. A-A man saved me . . . He got me out. The owner was going to kill me! Please . . . The other man is still in there! Help him!" The boy called desperately.

"Who? Who got you out?" Gojyo asked, helping the boy up. Catching his breath the youth looked like he was about to cry.

"He–He said his n-name was H-Hakkai," He gasped out shivering. Sanzo stopped in the middle of his phone call.

"The guy came home?" Gojyo asked in deadly seriousness. The boy sobbed and nodded.

"Y-yes . . Please," He continued to cry. Another police car came by and stopped just a hair away. Two officers, a male and a female came running out and toward Gojyo. The red head looked at Sanzo as he carefully gave the boy over to the other two.

"Kougaiji should be there by now, we have to hurry!" Sanzo yelled over the rain. Both detectives jumped back into their car and down the street. Upon arriving, a house was surrounded by the street as Kougaiji directed a group of men. Zenon and Shien stood by him as the other red head shouted orders over his walkie talkie. Sanzo parked the car on the side walk as the street was blocked off. They ran up to Kougaiji as both detectives drew their guns.

"What is the situation?" Zenon asked first.

"We found a kid up the road that got away from the house. Another car is taking him to the hospital. Hakkai is in there and the guy is home," Gojyo rushed out. The grip Kou had on his walkie talkie was nearly white. He looked at the run-down house in anger.

"Suit up. We're going in!" He yelled to them all. None of them needed to be told twice as they grabbed their bullet-proof jackets and helmets. Shien looked worriedly to his partner as the man moved in jerky movements. He set a hand on his lover's arm, and it made the other halt in his actions.

"I'm going to make him pay Shien. I'm going to make him regret every messing with me and my family," He said quietly. Shien nodded and took his hand back.

"I know, whatever you decide; I'll still stand by you," He said. Zenon smiled with his good eye as he regarded his lover and partner.

"Thank you," He said. The orange haired man quickly leaned toward the other before Shien could put on his helmet and kissed him. They smiled one last time before running over and joining the rest of the men. Sanzo loaded his gun as Gojyo took the safety off his own gun.

"When this shit is over, let's just take a vacation. Let's just grab Kai, and go somewhere, anywhere, away from this god awful city," The red head mumbled somewhat to himself. Sanzo nodded but was still looking at his gun as he closed the barrel.

"For once, I agree with you."

* * *

Hakkai looked up in anger at the man who had just confessed everything to him. These might have been the last words he would ever hear, but he damn well wasn't going to take them sitting down.

"I AM NOTHING LIKE YOU!" Hakkai shouted, sitting full up in his chair. Homura frowned in anger as he regarded Hakkai's face.

"Aren't you? Day by day, living the injustice that those around us inflict even though they say they love you? I was betrayed by my own department, and you were betrayed by your friends and lovers! How are we different?"

"By the fact that I don't go around, raping, killing and ruining people's lives! You're a psycho path that holds a grudge instead of moving on with his life! The difference between you and me? I'm not a disgrace to myself!" Hakkai continued to shout. Homura actually took a step back as Hakkai started thrashing in his chair.

"I hope when they find you, they shove that needle so far up your arm that you feel nothing but pain! When you meet your wife in the next life, I hope she slaps you across the face and denies your eternity! If my hands weren't tied up, I'd kill you myself, you motherfucker!" He shouted. Hakkai struggled feverishly in his chair as the roped burned his wrists. Sweat gathered on his brow over the dampness of the rain and the basement.

"All the lives you've ruined, all the people you've hurt and victimized! I see a sad man who has no purpose in life! I see a desperate fool trying to find an excuse for murder!"

"Enough!" Homura shouted. The sound made Hakkai actually pause. Homura's breathing was deep as he looked to be in pain. He was covering his ears as his mis-matched eyes were open wide.

"It was the only way. It was the solitary way I could get my revenge! You'd do the equivalent! You'd do the same if you had found your sister the way I found my wife!" He yelled back. Hakkai shook his head.

"No Homura, I wouldn't do the things you did. I would want to, no doubt, but I'd think of Kanan and what she would have wanted for me. She would have wanted me to live my life, not ruing it and ruin the lives of others. She would want me to remember her as she was, not how she died," Hakkai said softly. Fatigue rolled over him as nothing but the sound of breathing filled the tiny room.

Homura slowly moved forward and approached Hakkai again. The brunette didn't even look up at him as he did. He was so worn,tired of everything this man had done to him and to other people. If he was going to die, he would die letting the world know who the Rainy Day Killer was.

"They know already?" Homura suddenly asked. Hakkai nodded but didn't look up from the floor.

"I sent them everything. They'll probably be coming for you soon," The brunette said in a flat voice. Both men froze a moment later when a loud bang resonated from upstairs. The sound of crunching wood filled the space and Homura's breathing became deeper. Hakkai felt his heart pick up as the thought of inevitable death escaped him for a brief moment. Homura did nothing as footsteps rained from above, going up the stairs and filling his quiet house with noise.

"HOMURA TAISHI!" A familiar voice called out.

Hakkai gasped as Kougaiji's voice rang out in all the noise. The basement door was pounded on as Homura calmly walked to Hakkai's chair. The brunette struggled to get away as his chair was pushed slightly from the wall and Homura slide between him and the wall. Hakkai tried to look over his shoulder at him, but the angle made his neck hurt. Homura's face was unreadable as the basement door was kicked in and slammed against the wall up the stairs. Thundering steps came down as the small space was quickly filled by people.

Kougaiji, Gojyo, Sanzo and Zenon ran in, guns drawn and pointed at Homura. The dark-haired male didn't move behind Hakkai, and it made the brunette sweat.

"Hakkai!" Kougaiji shouted, looking wet. Each man was soaked from the rain, dressed in police gear and only Zenon wearing a helmet. His good eye was narrowed in anger and no doubt, he wanted a piece of Homura the most.

"Hold it Homura!" Zenon yelled, pointing his gun right at Homura. The man still didn't move as Hakkai observed his companions. Sanzo's face was like a steel cage, giving away nothing as he stared in hatred at Homura and what the brunette saw as worry toward him. His heart warmed at the sight of them as he heard Homura shift on the floor behind him.

"I won't let you take me alive," Homura said, voice deadly, calm and eerie. Kougaiji shook his head as he cast a worried glance at Hakkai.

"You're going whether you want to or not," He growled. Homura merely tilted his head as he raised his hand. The gunned men tensed as Homura simply set his hand on top of Hakkai's head and started petting him like a dog. The action made Hakkai nervous as Homura only drew closer to his chair.

"Knock it off! No more games!" Gojyo shouted this time. The basement became eerily quiet as Hakkai was suddenly reminded of something.

"He has a knife!" The brunette whispered. He knew Homura did, and something was poking his lower back right now. Homura only smiled and continued to pet him.

"How does it feel Kougaiji? To see your old partner back? He remembers everything. That I killed Kanan that you hid everything from him . . . Did you expect him to remember and end up like this?" Homura said quietly. Kougaiji looked toward Hakkai for a brief moment. The brunette kept calm and hoped nothing Homura said would affect his childhood friend.

"Kou, don't listen. I'm not mad . . . I understand why you did it," The brunette told him. Hakkai flinched in his chair with a gasp as he felt a pin prick of the knife just edge the flesh of his lower back. His companions tensed and Homura only laughed.

"Each one of you has a connection with this man sitting here. You either care about him, love him, or know him to be one of the best detectives you ever saw in his time. Nevertheless, you all let him live in the dark, making him believe he was nothing more than a paper pusher. Even in his delusional cloud he still sought me out. Still felt this itch inside of him to figure out who I was, we were destined for each other," Homura purred.

"Not to mention his body," The dark-haired male purred.

"You're mad!" Kougaiji said, raising his gun. Homura chuckled as he removed the knife edge from Hakkai's back. The hand petting the brunette clenched in the hair and Hakkai moaned in discomfort as his hair was brutally fisted. Homura raised his head by his hair, and the knife came out from behind his back. Eyes widened as Homura raised the knife and held it horizontally over Hakkai's throat, touching the skin but not cutting. Hakkai dared not breathe lest the knife cut into his flesh. He squinted his eyes and gave a look of apologies to his friends and lovers. He never wanted things to end up this way or to let them see him die so pitifully. He caught Gojyo's and Sanzo's eyes as he barely noticed that Sanzo's gun hand was shaking beside his partners. Sanzo was known in the department as a steady gunman.

He suddenly regretted getting involved at all. He almost wished everyone would have continued to keep him in the dark for the sake of his safety. But another part of him always knew . . . Knew that he would die young because of his own foolish actions.

"Homura . . . For gods' sakes . . . Put down the knife. There is no point to harming him, it's over," Sanzo said this time.

"Oh? But it would harm you. It might be worth it after all. I know I've been discovered . . . But that doesn't mean I'm going to make this easy," Homura said.

"Put it down NOW!" Kougaiji said, pulling back the trigger of his gun. Homura started chuckling madly as he nearly lifted Hakkai off his chair by his hair. Tears of pain from the corners of the brunette's eyes ran down, and he blinked to clear them. It was already fuzzy enough without his glasses.

"I can feel it Cho Gonou! I can feel your heart beating like mad! You're not afraid to die you think? It's a lie! It's all a lie! Everyone is afraid of dying! Everyone fears death! It's the one's we leave behind that makes death the most painful! How do you think I felt after I lost Rinrei? I wanted to die! I WANTED TO DIE SO BADLY!" He shouted hysterically.

Hakkai yelped as his hair was released, and he physically slumped in the chair. He looked up in horror as Homura raised the knife above his head, grinning like mad.

"See you in hell, Cho Gonou!" He shouted, bringing down the knife. Hakkai didn't have the breath left to scream as a gunshot in the small basement went off.

He did, however, feel the pain of the knife as it was plunged into his stomach and moved sideways. Blood hit the floor as the men in the room screamed for him. Gojyo's and Sanzo's being the loudest among them.

Hakkai felt himself fading away.

* * *

TBC


	29. Let's meet again someday

**Chapter 29: Let's meet again someday**

**I've been trying to update, but the site was down or something.**

**Enjoy, only one chapter left of this story!**

* * *

Suddenly, all those movies where someone dies made sense to him. He knew why their blank stares took in nothing around them, not the people, not the scenery. He suddenly understood when people claimed they saw the light and immediately backed away from it. It all made sense, all of it.

A pain filled scream filled the basement as Cho Hakkai struggled in his chair. Behind him, Homura Taishi fell to the floor, a now bloody bullet hole greasing up his left shoulder. The black-haired man laughed like a maniac, rolling all over the floor. Hakkai struggled to breathe as the knife in his stomach made him see both hell and heaven. Zenon stared open-mouthed at the scene before a body crashed into his side in the haste to make it to Hakkai. Kougaiji was yelling over and over while Gojyo and Sanzo moved the quickest.

"NO!" Gojyo shouted, looking frightened and horrified. The normally stoic face Sanzo mastered vanished, now leaving the sight of a man scarred. They watched Hakkai fight both the pain, and against his bonds as Kougaiji dropped to his knees in front of the brunette, the knees of his pants quickly staining with the blond of his dearest friend.

"HAKKAI!" Kougaiji shouted with desperation. Green eyes were wide but unseeing as he gasped to desperately take in breathe. His world spun as he felt his pants becoming wet with something other than the rain of the sky.

_What's going on? Why is this happening? I'm in so much pain! Make it stop! Kanan . . . Kanan!_

Kougaiji worked feverishly at the rope tying Hakkai's hands as the brunette shouted in pain and misery. Kou's hands shook as his heart threatened to stop. Zenon quickly recovered and went behind them to Homura, who had not stopped laughing. His multi-colored eyes were vast as he gave Zenon a wide smile.

"Die! Die! They all deserve to die!" He shouted over and over. Zenon felt his body quake in anger as he raised his foot. Brining it down on Homura's head, finally silencing the maniac.

"Hakkai! Shit! Call a bus! NOW!" Sanzo shouted to anyone who was listening. He kneeled down to the brunette and grabbed the sides of the man's face. Hakkai had tears running down his dangerously pale cheeks; green eyes filled with fear and lost hope. Sanzo, soaked from the rain, gently shook his lover in order to get him to focus, focus on anything but the pain he must be feeling. Purple eyes were wide and honest with fear. Below them, Gojyo took off his vest and reached for the knife he had stashed in his belt. Kou grabbed it from him and undid the ropes finally. Green eyes stared blankly as all three men worked to bring the brunette to the floor. Blood was rapidly coating them all as they struggled to keep the clerk alive.

Sometime during the rush, Zenon ran upstairs to fill the rest on the men in. Shien had called an ambulance, but was unsure if it would make it in time. People moved frantically as three officers bypassed them quickly and dragged a half unconscious Homura up to the stairs to a police car. The other's shot looks of horror and pity at the display in the middle of the basement floor.

Three faces stared down in horror at the knife sticking from Hakkai's stomach. The brunette's breathing was laboring as blood seeped between his lips and stained his teeth. Hakkai's body trembled as Kougaiji carefully rested his friend against his chest, Gojyo and Sanzo staring in uncertainty at the knife, whether or not to remove it. The brunette's hand flailed for a moment in the air until Kougaiji caught it in an iron grip.

"K-K-Kou-" Hakkai tried to gasp out. More blood seeped into the floor and neither Gojyo nor Sanzo did anything to prevent it from soaking their pants at the knees from their crouched positions. Kougaiji stared down at his friend as he desperately tried to get his friend more comfortable.

"Hakkai! Hakkai! Shit . . . This is my fault . . . " The red head said, voice shaking. Hakkai managed to catch his breath as his eyes wandered around. The pain in his stomach was intense and agonizing as he struggled to stay awake from the blood loss. He managed through to shake his head and give Kou a small smile.

"No–No—Not . . Homura . . . Where-?" The brunette gasped at intervals.

"He's gone Kai; we got him," Gojyo said anxiously next to him. Hakkai blinked and tilted his head almost slightly toward the other red head. Realization came to him as if he had only suddenly just noticed the other male. Gojyo's hair was wet from rain as it clung to his tan cheeks. His blood-red eyes were squinted in what the brunette could make out as anguish. His eyes shifted to Sanzo then, and he tried to give the blond a smile, the man looked so scared. Normally stoic features were now loose and wide fearful purple eyes looked at him in worry and fear. Shakily, Hakkai raised his other hand, and both detectives caught it with one of their own. An instant warmth traveled through the brunette followed by an extreme wave of sadness. This might be the last time he ever got to see his lovers; he didn't want to leave them like this. Hakkai leaned back on Kou's arm as he struggled to stay awake. Memories flooded him then, both from his previous life years ago and the recent ones from only a few days' prior. He hissed when he tried to shift, and the knife made his stomach muscles twitch.

"I'm sorry . . . " He managed to whisper out, the only thing he could think of to say. Kou shook his head as tears threatened to flow over. The normally composed male beginning to show his true feelings.

"Don't be . . . It's my fault . . . It's all my fault. I kept so much from you. I kept you in the dark . . But I didn't want you to be hurt anymore . . . I wanted to keep you here . . . Alive . . . " He whispered softly. Green eyes were warm and unafraid as he stared back into blue.

"It's okay . . . It's okay . . . I never . . . I never hated you for anything . . . Not for a second," The brunette said, truthfully. Another wave of pain racked the brunette, and he groaned. All three men stayed by him, not knowing how to make the pain go away. Hakkai squeezed both their hands as finally, the sound of an ambulance could be heard outside. The three detectives listened as footsteps and shouts were heard upstairs.

Hakkai looked toward Gojyo and Sanzo then, starting to feel his eye lids droop. He had so much love he wanted to give to these two men, and now he felt like he may never get the chance. He wanted to show them . . . Tell them how much they had meant to him and how they together had kept him sane and safe.

"Thank you . . . For everything . . . " He whispered out. Both of their eyes widened as they both squeezed Hakkai's hand back desperately.

"You're the one who was always giving," Sanzo said softly back. Gojyo sat down fully on his legs as he reached up to wipe some sweaty hair from the brunette's face. Hakkai reveled in the feeling of the red head's hand touching his face.

"Yeah, if anything . . . We should be thanking you," The red head smiled. Hakkai was about to speak when a raw spasm of pain had him crying out in agony. Paramedics finally ran down the stairs as the rest of the time was a blur of motion to the detectives. Through the haze of pain, Hakkai heard shouting as his name was called over and again. Men in white inspected him and moved him, which made the brunette howl in agony once more. Through the haze, Hakkai opened his eyes and left them that way. His body was moved to a gurney, but he couldn't stop staring at the far corner. He knew it had to be his imagination, but he could hope but think that the person he was seeing was in the corner, staring back at him.

Kanan smiled at him, standing there in the shadows.

He reached out for her but all he could do was twitch his finger in her direction. She smiled at him as her red lips formed unspoken words that only he could hear.

_It's all right Gonou . . . I'm here . . . Just rest . . . _

_Gonou . . ._

His green eyes widened at the uttered sentence.

Why? Why would she say that? If he gave up now . . . He would die.

He woke from his haze when the doors of the ambulance slammed at his feet, and an IV was being inserted into his arm. His green eyes raised to see a large red bag being gently squeezed from a paramedic's hand into his arm. He looked all over, but he couldn't see any of the other three faces that he wanted to see. They worked tirelessly over him as a wave of dizziness took hold. Hakkai felt the warm blood pool somewhere inside him and suddenly found it unbearable to breathe. He could barely make out the voices all around him. His eyes fluttered as one of the paramedics spoke. Distinctly somewhere . . . He could hear beeping . . . A heart monitor.

_Beep . . . Beep . . . Beep . . . Beep...Beep . . Beep . . . _

Hakkai gave a painful shudder.

"We're losing him!" One man called.

"Get the oxygen! His lung is collapsing!" Another called out.

_Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep..._

Darkness coated the edges of his vision as pure white surrounded him on all sides. His breathing evened out as he felt the small organ in his chest twitch and eventually give out, his injury too severe to handle on his sheer will power alone to live. He couldn't stop thinking about them . . . Kougaiji . . . Sanzo . . . Gojyo. They were on the forefront of his mind as eventually his eyes closed.

As more blood spilled from his wound . . . He was gone into the darkness.

* * *

_Gonou?_

_Gonou!_

_Gonou . . . _

_Time to wake up silly!_

_We're going to be late!_

_...?_

_Gonou . . . ?_

* * *

Covered in mud, blood and rain water, all three detectives stood frozen at the man in front of them. The scrub-covered doctor removed his face mask as he gave all three men a look of ultimate sympathy. Specks of blood coated him just under his collar as he removed his now pink gloves.

"We managed to remove the knife and get inside for emergency surgery. Some of his organs were thankfully missed, but the lung collapsed. I'm sorry gentlemen . . . But the blood loss was too significant. He died on the table, his wound . . . He was far too gone to save. He was . . . A fighter until the end," The man said lowly. He gave them a bowed head.

"I'm terribly sorry for your loss."

The doctor walked away, leaving them to soak in the information. All three men just stood there like statues. Slowly, Kougaiji said nothing and used a hand on the wall to support himself as he walked away. He disappeared down the hallway with shaky steps, heading toward the nearest restroom. Gojyo and Sanzo did nothing to stop him, hell; they weren't even paying attention lest thinking about the grief-stricken male; they had their own grief to work out.

"No . . . This wasn't supposed to happen," Was all Gojyo could say shakily. The red head bowed his own head as his hands fisted at his sides. Still standing there, covered in his lover's blood, all he could do was glare heatedly at the tiled floor. His partner Sanzo wasn't even looking at him, hair covering his eyes.

"Gojyo . . . " Sanzo began; his face turned away. But the other wasn't listening to him.

"He wasn't supposed to die! We caught the guy! We caught the guy, who was making his life a living hell," His voice rose.

"Gojyo," Sanzo said again roughly. However, the red head was too far gone.

"Why! Why the fuck did this happen? This is bullshit! He was supposed to stay here! Homura was the one who had to die! Not . . . Not . . . Not Kai . . . Jesus . . . Not him . . . I should have . . . We should have been there sooner to stop him! To tell him everything!" The red head croaked. Sanzo beside him was shaking.

"Calm down . . . " Was all the blond could get out. Gojyo stopped and regarded his partner. Sanzo's face was turned away from him still.

"Calm down? Calm down! Don't fucking tell me to calm down shit head! Hakkai is dead! Don't tell me to calm down man! Out of all three of us, you're the one telling me to calm-" The red head started to shout. A hand came out of nowhere and caught Gojyo in the jaw. The red head blinked and stumbled back a few steps. He blinked in confusion, starting to feel his anger rise. Sanzo regarded him with a heavy scowl and narrowed eyes.

"You–!" Gojyo began to charge at him. He stopped, however, a foot from the other. Sanzo made no face but clearly, there were track marks where tears had fallen down the blond's face. Gojyo had never seen his normally composed partner cry, not once as long as they had been paired.

"Let it go . . . Hakkai . . . Wouldn't want this, wouldn't want us to think anyone else should die in his place. Homura is in custody. He can't kill anymore," The blond said quietly.

"He wouldn't want us to blame ourselves either . . . He was . . . Selfless like that."

Gojyo lowered the fist he had aimed at Sanzo and looked at the floor, all the fight leaving him.

"We never got to tell him how much we loved him . . . We never got that chance," The red head breathed out. Sanzo nodded as he quickly wiped away another stubborn tear, he preferred to cry in private when he and Gojyo were alone.

"I know . . . I know . . . " Sanzo said, approaching the other. Gojyo did nothing to hold back his own sorrow as the blond came toward him. In a rare display of affection, Sanzo wrapped one arm around Gojyo's neck and let the other cry into the shoulder of his jacket. As the taller man wrapped his arms around his middle, Sanzo stood there, staring numbly at the ceiling and for all his worth hoping this was some cruel nightmare. He closed his violet eyes as Gojyo's crying became heavier.

_Please . . . Let this all be some cruel joke . . ._

Down the hallway in the men's bathroom, another male let his own version of grief show. Kougaiji sagged against the sink as water in the basin ran into the drain. He felt very much like the water, running downward into a spiral. His fist ached where he had punched the wall, and he was sure he must have broken a finger upon impact. He didn't care though, the numbness felt as equivalent as to what he was feeling on the inside. He raised his face to the mirror and narrowed his eyes at the image. His hair was a mess, and his eyes were swollen almost shut. He clenched his teeth as he raised his good hand and punched the mirror, giving it a small crack.

"I failed . . . I fucking failed . . . " He whispered out. He hung his head as he removed his hand from the mirror. Looking at it, he watched as some blood welled up on his knuckles and fell into the basin. His face finally relaxed as he gave a shuttering breath.

"I'm sorry Hakkai . . . I . . . " He tried. He shook his head, and he chose to step away from the basin. Imaged of his childhood filled his head as he sank to the floor. Hakkai's smiling face, never his to see again. The look of passion they shared on that one morning . . . All of it . . . Gone. Sinking his face into his knees, Kougaiji cried for the first time in years.

* * *

TBC


	30. Thank you Kanan

**Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki or any of the characters.**

**Wow, the last chapter at last. I hope everyone enjoyed the story! See you in the future!**

**Chapter 30: Thank you Kanan**

* * *

The smell of grass assaulted him as he squinted in his sleep. Something was buzzing in his ears, but he wasn't awake enough yet to figure out what it was.

"Gonou?"

His lip twitched.

"Gonou!"

His eyes fluttered.

"Gonou . . ."

"Time to wake up silly! We're going to be late!" A feminine voice called out.

Cho Gonou blinked awake as he looked toward the sky. A mop of similar chocolate brown hair greeted him, slung in a braid over a shoulder. His eyes traveled up to a familiar if not identical pair of emerald eyes. They were squinted from her smile as Kanan looked down at him playfully.

"Come on . . . You've been sleeping for quite a while!" She said, her voice light and sweet. Gonou blinked a few times as he sat up on the grass. Looking around, they were surrounded by trees as a small picnic basket shifted on the blanket he was laying on. Looking over at his sister, he could barely make out some grass stains on her favorite yellow dress, her wooden cross hanging from her swan like neck. He opened his mouth but found it dry. Licking his lips, he faced his twin sister.

"How long have I been sleeping?" He asked her. She made a face as if she was thinking. Gonou laughed as she set a finger on her pouting lips and thought for a moment.

"Oh . . . About an hour, two tops!" She said happily. Observing the area around him, he could see the blanket he slept on was picked up, and they were ready to head out.

"What were you doing while I was asleep?" He asked her. She reached over and grabbed the picnic basket, peeking through it; she rested her hand on a grape and ate it.

"I sat and read for a while, watched the trees, watched you sleep. It was very peaceful," She said, standing up. Gonou followed her lead and smiled as the wind blew. The trees sang as the sun shined as he crouched down to fold the blanket. He put it in the basket and picked it up, nodding to his sister. She latched onto his arm, and Gonou smiled at her in affection. She rested her head on his biceps as they walked down the path leading back to town. Gonou suddenly stopped as he looked to his sister.

"What were we going to be late for anyway?" He asked her suddenly. Kanan stared at him a moment before giving him a smile.

"The bus! We need to catch the bus if we're going to make it home in time for supper!" She said. Gonou made a humming noise as she only seemed to bury herself in his arm. He thought nothing of it as the sun shined on them, their feet making light scuffles in the dirt. He started humming as he felt Kanan sigh into his shoulder.

"This is nice. It's been so long since we've spent time like this," She said almost quietly. Gonou nodded as he continued to hum.

"Yes, it feels like I'm barely able to pull myself away from work. We should ask Kougaiji to come along with Lirin next time," He said. Kanan was quiet for a moment.

"Yeah . . . Yeah next time . . . " She almost mumbled. Gonou looked at his sister, really looked at her. She seemed far off in the face as she clasped his arm tightly.

"Is something wrong? You're quiet, normally you would be chatting my ear off about something," Gonou said. Kanan having been looking like she had been caught immediately perked up.

"Oh it's nothing! I was just thinking that we should have stew tonight or . . . Pasta . . . Yes! Pasta!" She smiled widely. The smile briefly made Gonou think of someone else. He shook the thought away as he led her back into town.

"Okay then . . . Pasta it is," He agreed. The walk took no time at all, and they swiftly made it back to town. He frowned a bit and looked around, it was quiet for such a sunny day.

"It's so quiet, where is everyone?" He asked himself. Kanan let go of his arm and stood in front of him.

"Oh, you know how it is! It's summertime! Everyone must have left for vacation. We have the whole place to ourselves!" She smiled. Gonou reluctantly nodded as he looked down the normally busy city street.

"Even so . . . It seems . . . Deserted," He breathed. Kanan grabbed the basket from him and continued to walk down the street.

"It's nicer this way; I hate crowds," She said. As he watched her walk down the sidewalk, Gonou couldn't shake this feeling in his gut. He hesitantly followed as the sun rose higher in the sky. He felt sweaty and warm, his jacket making him sweat under the collar. He licked his lips but stopped. He tried again, but no moisture would come to him or his lips. Moving some hair from his face, he pulled his hand back, his hair felt longer than it should have been. He ran his hand through his hair and frowned, blinking in confusion. He walked up to a shop window and peered at the glass, trying to see his reflection. He backed up in fright at his image. He looked . . . Younger, youthful. The black circles under his eyes were gone as were the stress marks. He touched his face to find the skin lighter and healthier looking. His hair was long in both the front and the back, like how he used to wear it as a child.

_Wait . . . _

Gonou frowned when he stepped back.

"I've . . I've always looked this way . . . Why do I think my hair needs to be shorter? My eyes . . . ?" He said to himself. He looked back at the window to see himself closely. Two faces suddenly shone behind him, and Gonou gasped. He spun around frantically but was met with nothing but an empty street. His felt his breathing pick up, but he didn't know why.

"Gonou! Come on! The bus will be coming soon!" She shouted. Gonou swallowed somewhere in his throat as Kanan waved at him from down the street.

"C-Coming," he said to her. He walked briskly down the street, stepping up to his sister. She looked at him and frowned in concern.

"What's wrong?" She asked. Gonou shook his head and smiled at her, taking her hand. She continued to stare at him as they walked to the bus station. The streets still remained quiet, and it was slightly unnerving to him. Not even the sound of nature or bird's singing. They arrived at the small closed-in bench as a long road stretched before them. Kanan grabbed her brother's hand and made him sit down beside her. They sat like that for a while and Gonou wondered if they were ever late at all for the bus they needed to catch.

"What a beautiful day it was Gonou, I'm glad we got to spend it together," She said softly. Hakkai nodded as Kanan leaned over a bit and set her hand on his shoulder. He smiled down at her in affection as he raised his hand and gently set it on her brown hair. The air began to cool as the beautiful day almost came to an end. The world was still too quiet to him, but it no longer unnerved him the way it once did before. He actually began to feel sleepy.

"Me too, we should do this again," He said. Kanan seemed to stare into space for a moment.

No cars sped by on the empty street. As they sat though, the city lights began to slowly flicker on building by building. Gonou gazed at it absentmindedly as he continued to pet Kanan's head softly. He felt his sister shift beside him.

"Gonou . . . ?" She asked meekly, voice quite in the twilight. Gonou looked at her from gazing down the road. Her eyes seemed to shine just as the sun began to almost disappear just off the horizon.

"Hmm? Yes?" He said, snapping from his day dream.

"What was your favorite thing we did together?" Kanan asked him, voice soft. Gonou stared at the top of her head as he tried to think.

"Well . . . There are so many, do I pick just one?" He asked playfully. Kanan though did shift or smile.

"I'm serious . . . And yeah, just one," She said. Gonou frowned as he looked toward the sky.

"Honestly, all my memories of us were the best. Since you're here, I've never really had a bad memory . . . " He said. It was quiet for a moment as Kanan sat up a bit.

"And what if I wasn't here? What if . . . What if I died, and you were all alone? Could you ever find happiness again?" She asked. Gonou frowned and really looked at her.

"What brought this on? What are you thinking about?" He asked. Kanan shifted her green eyes at him. She didn't speak so Gonou did for her.

"And we have so many more memories to make. We still have to go to Europe now that you're better," He mentioned with a smile. Kanan's eyes widened, and she opened her mouth a bit as if to speak.

"Now that you're well . . . We could go to Belgium or France. You've always wanted to see Italy and Rome, anything you want," He smiled. Kanan suddenly looked afraid and it puzzled Gonou. She began to shake as she quickly looked at the ground.

"What's wrong?" He asked. He waited for a few moments for her to speak, but she only shook her head.

"And what about . . . What about Sanzo . . . And Gojyo?" She asked meekly. The brunette frowned at her as she still didn't look at him.

"Who?" He asked in confusion. Kanan suddenly turned so fast that she knocked the picnic basket off the bench. Her eyes were tearful as she regarded him.

"What about Sanzo and Gojyo? Are you going to leave them behind? Don't you love them?" She asked. Gonou opened his mouth as if to speak, but instead he closed it.

"Sanzo . . . Gojyo?" He said quietly. The names struck something inside him, but he couldn't figure out why. As he said them, a feeling of warmth coated him from the inside out. He took a breath and blinked rapidly into the now setting sun.

"W-why?" He tried to say. Kanan shook her head and looked at the ground.

"I've waited here . . . For so long. I've waited right here for you because I was afraid to move on alone but now . . . Now that I think about it . . . Everything I'm taking you away from . . . They love you Gonou. Those two people really love you!" She whimpered. Gonou sat in shock as she released his arm in order to bury her face into her shaking hands.

"You were all I thought about before I died. Before that man . . . But I knew . . . You'd be all alone. I wanted to be selfish, and I wanted you all to myself again. I'm sorry Gonou . . . I'm so sorry!" She cried out. She looked at him then, and Gonou could see the sadness in his sister's eyes.

"I'm sorry . . . Hakkai," She breathed.

Gonou reeled back as if he had been struck and almost fell off the bench. He gasped as a collage of memories assaulted him and a feeling of dizziness settle. Faces and scenes flashed before his eyes as he struggled to put them all in order as he stared in shock at his sister.

_The case . . . His insomnia . . . Evidence clerk . . . Genjyo Sanzo . . . Sha Gojyo . . . The Chief . . . Kougaiji . . . Zenon . . . Shien . . . Homura . . . Homura . . . ? Homura!_

_My name . . . My name is Hakkai . . . Yes I . . . I go by that now . . . No one calls me Gonou anymore . . ._

"Homura!" Hakkai shouted, standing up. The movement caused the picnic basket at his feet to topple over completely. He suddenly felt much clearer as sound began to come back into his world. He looked back at Kanan, who was now smiling at him softly.

"I...Remember. . . Everything . . . " He said. She nodded at him and stood up also. Reaching forward she brushed back his hair, which was now at its normal length once again. She traced the skin below his eyes, and he squinted as she traced the black circle marks.

"Oh Hakkai, look what you've done to yourself while I was gone," She said in slight affection. Hakkai reached up and gently took her hands into his own. Holding them between them, he faced his dead sister.

"I'm sorry . . . I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry I didn't listen when he told me to stop investigating. He killed you because I refused to give up," He said sadly. Kanan shook her head, her cheeks turning a light red.

"It's not your fault. He was a bad man, and he needed to be stopped. I've seen countless souls wander through here, looking sad and frightened, regretful they could never tell the one's, they loved how they truly felt. You were being you and doing what you loved, stopping bad guys." She shook her head as her braid fell over her shoulder to her back.

"I don't blame you brother . . . I never did," She said softly. She leaned forward as tears threatened to spill from Hakkai's eyes. Her soft lips touched his cheek, and he let them fall.

"I love you Kanan," He said softly.

In the distance, something was coming toward them. Hakkai turned his head at the sound and squinted at it. He turned back to Kanan as she set her hand on his chest. An instant warmth coated him, and she smiled at him.

"That's my ride. I've been waiting a long time for it to come for me," She explained. Hakkai looked back at the bus that was seeming to come toward them in slow motion.

"This is . . . Where I say good-bye?" He said. She nodded and took back her hands to fold them in front of her.

"For now . . . But you better not come back here for at least another seventy years. Promise?" She said. Hakkai felt the bitter sweetness in the message.

"And . . . I love you, brother. Don't think you can't live a full life without me," She said. The bus drew nearer, and Hakkai could smell the fumes as if it were a real bus. Somewhere, in the distance, Hakkai heard a bell.

"A bell?" He said. The wind was picking up, and it ruffled both, hair billowing softly.

Kanan frowned suddenly and lowered her head.

"Yes, you need to listen to it. That bell . . . Is your heart, it is the key for you to go back to them," She said. Hakkai frowned as he heard the bell ring quicker and faster. The bus finally pulled up, and Kanan reached down to pick up the fallen remains of the picnic basket. Hakkai walked her to the curb just as the bus pulled up to it. The bell, in the distance, rung faster and quicker and Hakkai himself could feel the small beating in his chest as the bus doors opened with a hiss. There was no driver, and it seemed Kanan would be the only passenger on the bus. Kanan held his hand as she stepped on the first step of the ramp and looked back at him.

"Live a long-life Hakkai, especially with the one's you love," She said. Hakkai nodded and squeezed her hand in a promise.

"There are so many things I want to say but . . . For once I'm at a loss for words. How do I say good-bye?" He asked sadly. Kanan smiled and stuck out her tongue playfully, a gesture Hakkai was all too familiar within their childhood.

"Just say it silly," She urged with a wink. Hakkai smiled as he finally let go of her hand.

"All right then, good-bye Kanan, I'll see you again in seventy years or so," He promised. Kanan smiled and nodded her head.

"Sounds good, love you!" She waved. Hakkai smiled as he stepped back from the door.

"Love you too, have a safe trip . . . Sister," He said. The doors closed as Hakkai was forced to watch as Kanan rode away. She waved at him, for as long as she could before the bus became nothing but a speck, in the distance. He sat down heavily on the bench as the bell in the air rung almost uncontrollably.

"Oh dear . . . I have a feeling . . . This is going to hurt," He said to himself. As he watched the sun go completely down, a white light flashed behind his eyes, and he squeezed them tight. Grasping around his middle torso, he took shaky breaths.

"Thank you . . . Kanan," He whispered finally.

Hakkai threw his head as the white light completely enveloped him.

* * *

The nurse stared sadly at the handsome man laying on the Gurney. She frowned at the paleness and the amount of blood covering the poor man's middle. Taking her chart, she picked it up and labeled his time of death. She looked to the wall clock next to the heart machine and blinked. Her pretty blue eyes blinked again as she raised a hand to rub at them.

"Huh?" She said. Her eyes flicked to the heart screen, and they opened wide.

_Blip...Blip...Blip..._

In horror and surprise, the nurse dropped the clip board and backed up. Someone forgot to remove the finger clip leading to the machine. The body on the Gurney began to twitch as she briefly thought this looked like something out of the living dead.

"T-that's . . I-impossible!" She stuttered in fright. The brunette on the Gurney twitched, and a small moan of pain rose from his throat. She watched stunned as green eyes burst open and his mouth opened wide. She regained herself as the man started screaming bloody murder and tried to grab around his stomach. Moving quickly, she held him down and hit the emergency button near his head. She struggled to keep him down as he screamed in her ear, and his strength seemed to come back full force. Immediately, the room flooded with people as his screams became louder.

_It hurts! It hurts! It hurts so much! Make it stop! Make it stop!_

_So bright! I can't see! My body! It feels like I'm on fire!_

_Make it stop Kanan! Anybody! Make it stop!_

* * *

Sanzo and Gojyo sat in the hallway waiting chairs, staring at the far wall. Both were numb to the world around them as they discreetly held hands under their coats. The hallway suddenly exploded as doctors and nurses rushed by with equipment and Gojyo was forced to retract his long legs to let them by. Gojyo and Sanzo watched in surprise and stood a moment later as a scream resonated down the hallway. They looked at each other, and Sanzo shook his head.

"No . . . It can't be," He breathed. They watched in horror as the medical staff rushed into the room, they had placed Hakkai for their final good-byes, the two detectives building up the courage in the hallway to finally go in. A nurse popped her head out as she yelled down the hallway.

"Code yellow! Get Doctor Simmons in here! Cho Gonou needs more gauze now and anesthesia! He's not dead and he's in a lot of pain!" She screamed. Gojyo and Sanzo stood stunned as more staff ran into the room. Getting over their shock, they looked at each other.

"He's . . Alive?" They said together.

They both thought their hearts would burst.

* * *

_Wake up silly, they're waiting for you . . . _

_Gonou, get up silly!_

_They're waiting for you to come back . . ._

* * *

**Two weeks later**

Sunlight flooded the room for the first time in months. The occupant on the bed groaned and shifted on the clean sheets. Blinking rapidly, Cho Gonou Hakkai looked around his hospital room. His stomach felt like it had bottomed out and breathing was a chore. His room was empty and silent except for the soft beeping of his heart monitor. He swallowed and licked his lips as the dryness wouldn't go away. Breathing deeply but carefully, he reached across his body to the call button. A few moments later, a nurse walked in, surprised to see him awake.

"Oh! Mr. Hakkai, good to see you awake, many people have been very worried about you. I'll let your doctor know you're conscious. Do you need anything?" The pretty nurse asked. Hakkai nodded and was barely able to utter the word water. She nodded and promised to be back.

The brunette sat up slightly and leaned against his warm pillow. He felt refreshed if not terribly sore. He thought back to his dream and briefly wondered if by sure miracle alone he had survived.

_No, I have Kanan to thank for that._

He smiled delicately as sunlight filtered in and warmed his slightly pale face.

Hours later a worried Kougaiji appeared at his door. He looked in cautiously and was surprised to see the brunette wide awake and alert. He smiled in relief, and it was a happy smile that Hakkai had not seen truly in years. He lifted a hand and Kou caught it, sitting on the bed beside him.

"How are you feeling?" The red head asked. Hakkai shrugged and smiled.

"Complete," He said, despite the pain in his abdomen. Kou nodded and couldn't help but frown.

"We thought . . . We thought we lost you for a while. They told us you were dead as soon as you arrived here," He said lowly. Hakkai's eyes opened a bit before he relaxed.

"I believe I did die in a way. It certainly was a relief for a while. But dead was . . . It was temporary," Hakkai said. Kou scooted a bit closer and moved some hair from his eyes.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there sooner," He apologized. Hakkai squeezed his hand in reassurance. He managed to lift his other arm with the IV and poked Kou in the nose, the other man giving a surprised grunt. Reaching up, Kou rubbed at his face.

"What was that for?" He asked. Hakkai chuckled but stopped when it hurt too much.

"I told you to stop that. I made my own mistakes, and now they're fixed. There is nothing to be sorry about," Hakkai said. He looked passed Kougaiji and out the window. He looked back at his friend and smiled almost sadly.

"I met Kanan, Kou. I think she helped me," He breathed.

Kougaiji sat there as Hakkai told him of what he had dreamed. When he finished, the other sat there with a blank face. He nodded slowly as he gently held Hakkai's hand.

"You really saw all that?" He asked. Hakkai nodded and leaned back into his bed.

"I don't know if I did. I guess it was one of those things in life you would need to experience to understand. I'm not sure if Kanan or God himself had something to do with it, but I'm here. I'm alive after being almost stabbed to death." Both were silent for a moment as Kou waited for the question Hakkai wanted to ask.

"What happened to . . . ?" The brunette began.

"Homura? He is still being questioned as of now. They're not ruling it an insanity case that is for sure. He'll definitely get attempted murder for what he did to you, but all your evidence will put him away for life . . . Or give him the death sentence."

Hakkai narrowed his eyes as he looked at his blanket.

"Death is too kind for that bastard," He said in a harsh whisper. Kou leaned forward, and Hakkai was surprised as he felt lips touch his cheek. Pulling back, Kougaiji looked at him seriously.

"You stopped him; that's what matters right now. He can't kill any more people, officially; the Rainy Day Killer case is closed."

Hakkai breathed a sigh of relief, something he had not felt in years.

"Thank God."

* * *

It would be two months before Hakkai would be allowed to leave the hospital. After Kougaiji left that day, within the hour, Gojyo and Sanzo nearly stumbled over one another to get into his room. Brushing away their embarrassment, both went over to him and touched his face. They asked questions of course, and told Hakkai how worried they were and how relieved they were to see him alive. Hakkai calmed their worries, and they stayed with him until the nurse told them visiting hours were over. Both kicked up a fuss until she threatened to call security. The doctor arrived the next day to fill him in on his condition.

There would be a scar of course, longer and thicker, covering the one he already had. Until Hakkai had seen it, he had no clue it was so huge and grotesque. He worried now about his appearance, and that he would always look down and have that reminder. The doctor assured him though that later in life, and surgery would be available to hopefully disguise the scar.

Kougaiji, Gojyo and Sanzo visited him like crazy and often fought over who would stay over nights. Hakkai assured them that he was fine until they glared at him to be quiet.

"Seriously, after you get out of here, I want you to go into retirement Kai," Gojyo said playfully. It was an afternoon, and Hakkai had just gotten out of physical therapy. Lunch was here, but Hakkai wasn't too keen on eating what he assumed was mashed potatoes and coleslaw. Pushing the tray away he was surprised, they even fed him whole foods, his stomach felt like knots upon knots every time he tried. Kou kindly stopped and gotten him some onion soup, his favorite.

"How much longer do you have to be in here?" Sanzo asked him. The brunette sipped his soup as he looked at his blond-haired lover.

"They said in another four weeks I can go home. I'll have to come back for therapy, but my doctor is surprised at how quickly I'm recovering," He said. Sanzo looked distracted for a moment as he glared at Gojyo. The red head gave a nervous smile and Hakkai tilted his head in confusion.

"What's wrong?" He asked them. Gojyo shook his head and waved his hands back and forth in front of him with the same nervous smile.

"Oh nothing, Sanzo has just been getting on my case about something. By the way, Goku has been calling the apartment like crazy. I'm running out of excuses on what to tell him Kai. I can only say you're in the bathroom so many times," He said. Hakkai nodded and took a deep breath.

"Yes, this will be hard to explain, and I'm afraid he'll take the first train back after I tell him."

"Goku, it's been a while since I've seen that kid. Is he still causing trouble?" Kougaiji asked him.

Another month went by, and Hakkai continued his recovery. The scar on his stomach ached when he breathed, but it was now dulling out to be a pale mark across his abdomen. His lovers were becoming more eager to get him home and the brunette himself wanted to sleep in his own bed for a change. The day finally came where the doctor gave him the okay to go home but cautioned him about lifting anything or showering by himself. As soon as Gojyo heard that part, he was all too eager to play nursemaid.

"It'll be fun . . . Like role playing," He winked. Sanzo hit him upside the head in the lobby.

"Shut up and go get the car!" He hissed at the red head. Hakkai was glad to see the men acting like themselves around him. He smiled truly for the first time in a while and laughed.

* * *

On the way, home, Hakkai sat in the front next to Sanzo while Gojyo sat behind them. He briefed Hakkai on everything that had been going on since his hospitalization. The case had pretty much some to a close and Homura would receive sentencing soon. The boy Hakkai saved had been grateful and was returned to his family. Of course, the Chief still wanted to talk to him but that could come at another time. Relaxing in his seat, Hakkai leaned back and enjoyed the sunshine running across his face. It was so warm and it briefly reminded him of his dream. When they reached the building, Hakkai was happy to be home. Sanzo took his hospital bag while Gojyo slung an arm around him and led him inside. They opened his door only to come to a stop. Hakkai felt his eyes go wide at what he saw.

"Gojyo . . . " Sanzo growled. The red head gave the same nervous laugh he did a month ago in Hakkai's hospital room. The kitchen was a mess, as if a bomb went off and stuck to the walls. The stove had food spills and burnt marks around the burners. The sink overflowed with dirty dishes, and some were left on the counter. The table in both the kitchen and living room were covered in beer cans and overflowing ashtrays. The brunette observed the mess and concluded one thing.

"Someone broke in and ruined my apartment," He said breathlessly, feeling faint. Gojyo gave a cough as he helped the brunette over the couch.

"Ah no . . . Not exactly. Sanzo and I were . . . Staying here, during your recovery," Gojyo started.

"You . . . You stayed here while I did paperwork at the office," The blond hissed, setting Hakkai's bag on the floor.

"Yeah so anyway . . . Well . . . We were worried and shit and I smoked a bit too much and . . . I drank a lot. I tried to cook, but that went wrong and the fire alarm went off and the landlord threatened me because it kept going off . . . I can't cook. Then I tried doing the dishes but Goku kept calling, and I ran out of excuses, so he started arguing with me, and I forgot to clean the apartment before I met Sanzo at the precinct to pick you up," He said all in one breath. Hakkai stared at him before he sat back with a huff on his couch. He threw his hands over his eyes and started to laugh.

"What am I going to do with you Gojyo?" He giggled. The action made his stomach ache but in a good way. The red head sat next to him and set a hand over his stomach where he was stabbed.

"That should be my line man. We got to find a way to keep you out of trouble. I recommend tying you to the bed, post by post," He wiggled his eyebrows. Sanzo rolled his eyes, but Hakkai could have sworn he gave a grunt of agreement. The brunette smiled and lowered his hand to rest over Gojyo's own on his stomach.

"Seeing as I have no posts on my bed that might be difficult. However, in order to keep me out of trouble, you would need to be here twenty-four seven. The only way for that to happen would be if I asked you and Sanzo to move in with me. Which you're free to do of course," The brunette said. Gojyo and Sanzo stopped dead to look at him. They looked at each other, and Hakkai smiled at the slightly miffed but happy expression on Sanzo's face.

"Really?" Gojyo whispered. Hakkai nodded as he sat up slightly with a wince.

"That is if you want to," He offered. Gojyo smiled so widely that his whole face lit up. He hugged Hakkai tightly, and the brunette gave a small grunt of pain at the strong motion.

"Are you kidding? I can't even remember the last time I stayed at my own place! And . . . Oh, sorry Kai," He said, pulling back from the hug. Hakkai caught his breath but smiled and laughed none the less. He looked at the blond who seemed to be in deep concentration.

"I think it's a good idea. It makes sense, especially after everything we've been through together . . . And . . . Uh . . . " The blond cut off. Hakkai practically blinked in surprise as he saw Sanzo, the normally composed one practically blush and rub the back of his head.

"And seeing as both me and the idiot . . . Love you," He said finally. Both Gojyo and Hakkai actually seemed shocked that Sanzo was the one to say it. They both smiled and looked at each other.

"You told us on the phone that you loved us, but we never got to say it back," Gojyo said. Hakkai nodded and looked at the floor.

"I was sure I would never be able to say it. I wanted to, just in case Just to let you guys know how I felt about you . . . Both of you," He said, picking up his head. Hakkai himself felt a blush coat his face at the way both of his lovers stared at him.

"Next time, wait for us to say something back," The blond chastised. Hakkai nodded and smiled as he leaned against his couch.

"I do; I love you both," He said, feeling whole atbeing able to say it out loud. Sanzo came over and sat down on Hakkai's other side while Gojyo settled against him. Together they looked at the sunny day that had finally broken through the clouds outside.

"We love you too Kai, even if Blondie over there doesn't say it often enough," Gojyo said, leaning over and kissing the brunette. Sanzo did the same with a glare at Gojyo as the green-eyed man relaxed in between them.

"Even if he doesn't say it out loud, I can still hear it," He said tiredly. Reaching up, Hakkai set his hand on the back of Sanzo's neck just as Gojyo slipped one around his waist, pulling them all close together.

"The thing is . . . If I'm moving in . . . Where am I going to put my shit?" Gojyo mumbled absentmindedly.

"In the garbage, it really is nothing but shit," The blond beside Hakkai mumbled tiredly.

"You certainly spew enough of it," The red head retorted, suppressing a yawn.

"Kiss my ass," The blond said quietly.

Hakkai smiled as they seemed to fight until both drifted off on the couch. Gently getting up, he winced as his stomach muscles pulled. He smiled at the two men as he walked over toward his end stand. Picking up the picture of himself and Kanan, he smiled.

"Thank you," He said to her quietly.

Now that it was all over, Hakkai could finally relax and live his life. There would be more in the future, he knew it, but for now; he just wanted to live with the two men he loved dearly. Holding the picture to his chest, Hakkai looked out his large apartment windows.

The sun was finally shining.

* * *

Zenon stood before two graves near the center of the city. A loose cigarette dangled from his mouth as he lifted a hand and took a drag. His wife and son lay before him, finally avenged like he wanted. Now that they were avenged, his felt while in a way, and at the same time empty. He wiped his face of the tears he had cried hours ago and ran that same hand through his hair. Putting out his cigarette, he walked the stone path back to the street, his boots scuffing the stone. He put his hands in his pockets and smiled up ahead of him. His bike was parked on the side of the road, people finally out and about on the sunny day, the kids once again being able to play in the parks. He smiled at the man sitting on the seat of his bike, back into his biker wear and leaving their detective days behind them. Shien's hair was loose, moving softly behind his back as he waited, watching the city peacefully. He glowed in the sunlight as Zenon approached him, reaching out to stroke the ends of those blue locks. The man faced him, broken from his trance as he blinked at Zenon.

"Are you okay?" Shien asked him softly. Zenon shrugged and smoothed back his own hair again.

"I think so, I accepted this a long time ago. It's time to move on. I've made my peace," He said finally. Shien gave him a small smile, a slight quirk of the lips.

"No regrets?" He asked. Zenon smiled back and leaned forward, catching his lover in a kiss. It lasted a few moments before Zenon pulled backward from him.

"None whatsoever," He said. Both gazed warmly at one another as Zenon slipped onto his bike. Shien molded to his back and wrapped his arms around Zenon's strong middle, letting out a breath against his shoulder. Revving up the bike, they both took off. Zenon shot like a bullet down the street and an hour later, out of the city. Heading wherever they pleased.

* * *

** One week later**

"Hey Kai, where do you want this?" Gojyo called out. Hakkai turned from cleaning out his bottom cabinets to the red head. He couldn't help but smile playfully at the yellow bandana Gojyo chose to wear on top his head while they unpacked everything. The sun was shining brightly on the early Saturday morning. Practically, a day-after Hakkai invited them both to live with him, both men went back to their apartments and immediately started packing. Not wanting to leave him by himself, Sanzo called Kougaiji to baby sit while both packed what they wanted to bring over. The red-headed man agreed, not wanting to give up spending time with Hakkai before he headed back to his station another county away. He talked long and hard with the brunette about really wanting this. It took convincing but eventually Kou lost the agreement and accepted what the three had. That didn't mean he was totally open to it, and Hakkai had a feeling he never truly would.

Wearing a blue wife beater and jeans, Gojyo stood there with a box of some of his dishes resting easily on his broad shoulder. He looked around him at all the dishes set out to be reorganized in the cupboards, seeing a mixture of Sanzo's already in. Hakkai stood up carefully with a slight wince and a grasp of the counter. Gojyo set down the box he had and walked over to him. Hakkai made sure now to wear loose shirts and pants, tight clothing becoming constricting and painful to wear over his still tender stomach.

"You okay man? Should you be bending down like that?" He asked with a small look of nervousness. Hakkai took a deep breath and nodded, smoothing back his long bangs from his slightly sweaty forehead.

"I'm all right, just getting used to moving around again. You've had me on bed rest for days," He said. Gojyo gave a cat-like grin as he nearly sauntered up to Hakkai.

"Yeah well, I had to keep you in a spot, I knew you'd never want to run away from," He purred. Hakkai bit his lip to keep from laughing at the look on Gojyo's face and the fact that his yellow bandana made his smile all the more comical. Before he could Gojyo suddenly grunted and rubbed the back of his head, looking behind him. Hakkai looked down to the pillow that had been thrown at the back of his lover's head.

"Stop being a pervert and move more boxes!"

Gojyo swung around and pointed an accusing finger at Goku.

The youth stood on top of the couch from where he had been dusting the coffee table. Hakkai had finally managed to talk to the boy a week ago and ruefully explained what had happened. And of course, he and Nataku grabbed the first train, and were here in a matter of hours, worried sick. It took a few more hours of calming down before Sanzo cooked dinner, and Hakkai invited them to stay. Goku had though flipped a shit when he found out that Gojyo and Sanzo would be moving in. Having the same conversation with Kougaiji, Hakkai warmed him over to his side and the brunette agreed to help them surprisingly.

"Shut your mouth monkey bitch! Go back to scrubbing the walls!" He yelled back. Over in the corner with a dust wand, Nataku sighed at his boyfriend's behavior.

"Goku, be nice!" He chastised. Sanzo next to him who was setting his books on the shelf agreed.

"Why? Gojyo started it!" He pleaded with his boyfriend.

"Oh I did not! And since I'm living here now, address me properly as master you little shit!" The red head smirked. Goku looked aghast.

"Master! Fuck you! You may live here, but it will always be Hakkai's place bozo!" He said, chocolate hair wild. Sanzo and Nataku both watched as they continued to fling insults at one another. Hakkai walked over to them and gently set a hand on top of Nataku's head.

"Let them get it out of their system. I'm sure they'll get tried soon . . . " He said in a sigh.

"OH THAT'S IT!" Gojyo shouted suddenly. They all turned back to see the red head march over to Goku. He tackled the boy over the couch as they threw kicks and punches at one another. Hakkai watched as Gojyo's bandana went flying along with the hat Goku had been wearing. They rolled on the carpet, pulling hair and cussing.

"Or not . . . " Hakkai finished. Nataku got up from his cleaning position in order to go calm down his boyfriend. Sanzo stood next to him and reached out to set a hand on Hakkai's lower back.

"You sure this is what you want? You might have to put up with shit like this all the time," He asked. Hakkai looked over at him and gave him a warm smile, moving his hair behind his eyes.

"Yes, I'm sure. I couldn't think of having it any other way. I have you both, Goku and Nataku. I consider myself blessed in more ways than one," He said quietly, putting a hand over his stomach. Sanzo continued to look at him as he watched Nataku calm Goku and Gojyo down.

"Quite the family we have," He said. Hakkai chuckled as a grumbling Goku came over to him.

"By the way, the way Hakkai, what are you doing with the spare room?" Goku asked. Gojyo looked up from where he had been sitting by the carpet.

"Spare room? What spare room?" He asked. Sanzo rolled his eyes and slapped his forehead.

"The one next to the bathroom you stupid shit," He glared, pointing to the bathroom. Gojyo blinked in confusion as he looked to where Sanzo had been pointing. Sure enough, there was a door there.

"Umm, why haven't I noticed that before?" He asked, sounding miffed.

"Ah, I'm afraid the coat rack was hiding it," Hakkai explained in mirth, crossing his arms and leaning on Sanzo's shoulder, which caused the blond to fully wrap his arm around the brunette's waist.

"So what are you going to do with it?" Goku asked again. Hakkai set a finger on his lips and tilted his head.

"Well . . . I guess I could make it storage, or a guest room . . . Or a nursery," He finished with a shrug. Goku blinked at him in confusion and even Nataku seemed to perk up at the word.

"Nursery? Why a nursery Hakkai?" He asked in disbelief, scratching his head. Hakkai smiled playfully.

"Why yes, for when I want a baby," He said, sounding completely serious.

Everyone in the room was silent and Hakkai did everything he could to hold back his laughter at the look on Gojyo's face. He had palled considerably, and he looked as if he had just shit his pants.

"B-b-b-bab–baby!" the red head yelled.

"You can't get a baby! I'm the baby!" Goku practically screeched like a kid.

"You're having a baby! Congratulations! I love babies!" Nataku squealed in happiness. Hakkai bit his lip in an effort to hold back the painful laughter, it seemed Sanzo was the only one who understood that it was a joke. The blond stood right next to him and decided to play along with him.

"Gojyo, you're going to have to learn how to change diapers," The blond said, giving the red head a significant look.

"B-but . . . I suck at changing diapers! And when are we going to find time to be intimate with a baby around!" Gojyo jumped up, grabbing the sides of his head.

"Shut up you sick freak! Hakkai can't get a baby. He's supposed to consider me his baby!" Goku yelled, pointing at the panicking red head.

"Oh I'll have to go shopping! Is it, a boy or a girl? Ah who cares! I want to decorate the nursery!" Nataku yelled in excitement, looking positively gleeful.

All three continued to rant on and Hakkai finally lost it. He started laughing so hard in the room that Sanzo had to hold him up. Tears came to his green eyes as Sanzo shook his head and smirked. All three stopped talking and looked at the brunette like he was crazy.

"Hakkai! Why are you laughing? You can't have a baby!" Goku shouted in panic, running over to him with pleading eyes.

"Yeah man! Think about how hard it was to keep the monkey out of trouble! I guarantee I'll be a shit dad with all the hours I work! A detective is no career for parenting dude! And I'm not unloading the kid onto you when I do have to work!" Gojyo seemed to almost be scolding.

"I'll baby sit! I'll baby sit!" Nataku offered, jumping up and down, his long hair flying.

"Nataku! Stop it! You're supposed to agree with me!" Goku pleaded, grabbing the sides of his head.

Hakkai continued to laugh until he almost cried. When they all calmed down, he told them he was just kidding.

"Ah thank god . . . That was a bombshell dude," Gojyo sighed, sitting down on the couch and scratching his mussed up hair. Hakkai took a seat on the armchair while Sanzo and Goku sat on the floor, Goku pulling his boyfriend into his lap.

"Not funny!" Goku pouted. Nataku seemed to give out a breath of disappointment.

"Ah man . . . " He said with a frown. The brunette shook his head as his stomach muscles protested at all the laughter.

"I apologize, but I couldn't resist. Maybe someday, but for now, I want to live with the family I have presently," He smiled. They all grinned at him before Gojyo stretched out on the couch fully.

"Whatever you decide man. Hell who knows . . . Maybe down the line being a dad could be really cool," He shrugged, looking at the ceiling with a dreamy look.

"Yeah, I guess being a big brother wouldn't be so bad," Goku grumbled, latching onto his boyfriend. Hakkai chuckled as he ran his fingers through Sanzo's hair who was on the floor near his feet.

"Ah maybe someday . . . Maybe someday . . . " He said softly, staring at his family.

* * *

Laying in bed that night, Hakkai stared at his ceiling. His muscles protested at him moving slightly onto his back. He thought back to everything that had happened to him in that short amount of time. The soft breathing of his lovers beside him did everything to quell the slight nervousness he had about everything that had been happening to him and them. Goku and Nataku slept in his living room and it was them just being here that eased him all the more. His whole family was here, and he appreciated every moment with them. They may not have all been connected by blood, but they were all his spiritually.

A sudden ache in his abdomen had Hakkai reaching down to pet the long scar on his stomach. He held back a whimper as his stomach seemed to jolt painfully at the slight petting. Setting his fingers over the white scar, he traced it upward just to the left of his belly button to mid stomach. He frowned deeply and felt a prickle coat the corner of his eye. He blinked them back and bit his bottom lip.

_Kanan . . . _

He imagined her smile and closed his eyes.

_"Live a long-life Hakkai, especially with the one's you love."_

Her words struck him deeply as his hands moved to his sides, reaching for Sanzo's and Gojyo's hands while they slept. He squeezed them as he lay there, eyes still closed in the darkness, moonlight cascading over all of their sleeping forms.

_I will Kanan . . I will . . . I promise._

With an easy smile on his face, Hakkai fell asleep by his lover's sides.

* * *

**The End**

**Wow, it been a great long haul everyone, there will be plenty of one shots in the future but for now, onto other ventures! Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


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